Gratitude List (July 10, 2021) #TToT

Posted on by Astrid

It’s been a while since I last did a gratitude post. Today I feel pretty good. Not that I need to feel good in order to do a gratitude post – I’ve written them to cheer myself up on many occasions. However, feeling good is also a good time to express gratitude. Here goes. As usual, I’m joining Ten Things of Thankful or #TToT.

1. I am so grateful for no side effects from my topiramate. I am not yet sure whether this medication will be working, although my staff say I seem calmer than I was before. It’s only been a week though, so we’ll see. I am however so happy I at least tolerate the medication, since many people don’t.

2. I am so grateful for increased motivation and creativity. Although this has been going on for a few weeks already, I’m really hopeful it’ll not just be an episode and, if it is, will last longer than usual.

3. I am grateful for pretty good sleep particularly early in the week. During the first few days of the week, my sleep quality was truly amazing. Last night it was a lot poorer, but I’m still happy to report I don’t experience major effects today. And it may or may not be the topiramate already working, but I haven’t had nightmares at all.

4. I am grateful for a hair clip my sister gave me for my birthday. I wear it in my new profile pic and, although I still prefer my hair mostly loose with just one small clip at the front, I do like this new look.

5. I am grateful for warm and relatively rain-free days. We’ve had more rain than is usual for the summer here so far, but it’s still okay.

6. I’m grateful my mobility seems to be returning to some reasonably acceptable level. Up till a week or two ago, I could hardly walk a kilometer at a time or I’d feel my legs get tired. Now I can walk somewhat longer distances again. I managed to reach 10K steps several days this past week and almost got it on a few other days.

7. I am grateful for delicious treats for lunch several times this week. Like, today we got mini pizzas.

8. I am grateful for quick package delivery. I ordered several things online Thursday evening and yesterday and they all arrived today.

9. I am grateful I decided to finally order some relatively expensive essential oils. I ordered Roman chamomile, sandalwood and vetiver. I also ordered sweet orange, because I’d used up all of my oil already a month or so ago. I’m so excited about all the delicious essential oil blends I can now make.

10. I am so grateful my staff killed the fly that had been annoying me buzzing around my room all morning before her shift ended. I’m probably not supposed to take delight in animal death, but I’m glad to make an exception for a fly.

What are you grateful for?

Why I Love My Hair

Posted on by Astrid

Two weeks ago, I shared my response to a prompt in Lisa Shea’s book on gratitude. I expressed gratitude for my health. Today, I saw another prompt in the same book. It asks the journaler to write down what they love about their body. I realized midway through writing this post, that I already covered this topic several years ago. The first thing I mentioned being grateful for then, is my hair. Today, I am sharing in more detail why I appreciate my hair.

I have long, dark hair. I of course already have some grey patches here and there, but that’s okay.

When I was a child, my mother used to hate my long hair, because it got messy pretty easily. She also felt that my habit of hair-twirling was annoying and that I’d hide behind my hair.

She at one point yelled at me that she didn’t care what I did with my hair – cut it off, get a perm or whatever -, but I couldn’t have it the way I had it then. I can’t remember whether I listened. At least I don’t anymore and love my hair the exact way it is now.

I occasionally wear my hair in a ponytail or braid, but usually like it just fine hanging over my shoulders. I do wear a hair clip to keep some hair from covering my eyes though.

I went to have a haircut a few weeks ago. Until then, my hair was so long it’d touch my breasts when hanging loose. Now it just about covers my shoulders. I like it this way, because I could still put my hair into a ponytail if I wanted to but it doesn’t hang in my food as easily as it used to.

I have slightly wavy hair. After my recent haircut, the waviness got more pronounced. I like that. My sister has totally straight hair. Most people I know like mine better.

It’s not even that I take great care of my hair. I wash it with regular shampoo three times a week, occasionally using anti-dandruff shampoo instead if needed. I don’t use conditioner. I at one point wanted to experiment with homemade hair masks, but haven’t gotten down to that yet. Even without extensive hair care, my hair is pretty easy to brush through. Of course, I get tangles when I’ve had an unquiet night, but usually it’s pretty neat.

Do you like your hair?

A Very Intense Tuesday

Posted on by Astrid

Wowah, it’s been quite the day! I awoke at 8AM from a nightmare. Thankfully it wasn’t about my current care facility. I got weighed in. Thankfully, despite all the treats the staff who left us left behind, I’d only gained 200 grams.

I then got dressed, got breakfast and then read some. When my day activities staff came, she said the hairdresser was here. Like I said last week, hair salons are allowed to open again, though I overheard a staff say this isn’t until tomorrow. Oh well. I don’t go to the hairdresser each time she visits the care facility, so wasn’t sure I’d go this time, especially at such short notice. I eventually decided to go anyway and she cut about 5cm off my hair.

Then I went for a walk. Once back home, I had to eat, because I’d have to leave for the dentist at noon. I wouldn’t have my appt till 1PM, but it’s about a 45-minute drive to the care agency’s main institution, where the dentist is.

The staff had only told me of my dentist’s appt yesterday, presumably so I wouldn’t worry. I didn’t really, but my anxiety went through the roof once the dentist was doing his job, despite my having taken a PRN Seroquel to calm my nerves. It wasn’t noticeable to the staff, as I practically froze.

I had to have two cavities filled. Both were underneath an existing filling. Despite the topical anesthetic, it did hurt a little. To be honest, one of the teeth still hurts. I also got some protecctive layer over one of my other teeth, which had receding gums and for this reason the root had become exposed. That thankfully didn’t hurt.

Once I was back at the care facility, I tried to rest, but couldn’t. The anesthetic was wearing off and it hurt pretty bad. I decided to do some reading. Then the orthopedic shoemaker visited. He had tried to widen my shoes, so that my AFO (ankle foot orthosis) and arch support both fit into it and I would still be able to get my foot into the shoe. It worked, so now I can start practising walking with my AFO in. In fact, I’m pretty sure I won’t have to practise, as the discomfort is already manageable.

Once the shoemaker was gone, it was time to have dinner. I then had a bit of a meltdown over dessert, or maybe because of the reason it was just a spoiled tantrum. I eventually calmed down though and was able to enjoy the rest of the evening.

I finally gave in and got myself a membership to the International Association for Journal Writing (IAJW). I was a member some years ago, but at the time rarely used the member benefits. Part of the reason is that I didn’t know how to work Zoom and the get-togethers are on there. I still don’t know how to use it, but I think I’ll learn quickly enough.

Now it’s past 8:30PM. I’m not tired yet, but maybe I should have an early night anyway. Tomorrow, my community psychiatric nurse will be here at 11AM. That should go okay. Overall, I’m doing pretty well.

Tuesday, July 14

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all on this rainy Tuesday evening. Here in the Netherlands at least, the summer is hardly a summer to be honest. What a contrast with last year!

I’m feeling uninspired today, but I do want to write. I hope yesterday’s post didn’t just attract the engagement because I predicted it wouldn’t. Regardless, I think I like the ability to ramble.

I started jewelry-making back up again last week. It’s still pretty hard and frustrating. I mean, I have to gather the right supplies and I keep forgetting something. Last week, I ordered wire, but it was too thick for the thinnest needle and yet the beads wouldn’t fit over the slightly thicker needle. I as a result managed to make only one simple bracelet so far.

Today I ordered some additional supplies, but I forgot to order clasps. My husband asked me to make a bracelet or necklace for his sister, who had her birthday last week. Not that she wears a lot of jewelry, but he thought it might be a kind gesture. I ordered some heart with dog paws pendants, because she loves dogs. Here’s hoping I can make something decent-looking with the supplies I have at hand right now.

In other news, I got a haircut on Thursday. My hair is quite a bit shorter than it was before. I like its current length though. It’s kind of wavy now and feels a bit tougher when brushing through it with my fingers. Since that’s one of my main stims and I like the feel, I think I may keep my hair at this length. My husband has so far only seen the picture, as he didn’t visit last week-end. I will be going to our house this coming
Saturday though.

Today despite the rain I managed three walks. Not long walks, but long enough. I also did a short yoga practice. I just googled yoga for beginners and selected a YouTube video. I didn’t complete the full practice, but I managed to do some. My day activities staff helped me by explaining what the woman in the video was doing. I liked it.

I also listened to some women’s magazine on audio. It was a nice way of unwinding.

I didn’t rest as much as I had originally planned to, but still I feel okay. It’s now nearly 9PM and, though I’m physically tired, I’m not as overwhelmed as I was yesterday.

Hope you all are doing well.

What’s Up (May 2020)

Posted on by Astrid

Today, I discovered What’s Up Wednesday and thought I’d join in. What’s Up Wednesday is a monthly linky in which bloggers recap their past month. Here goes.

What I Ate

I don’t meal plan, as here at the care facility, we get meals delivered. I didn’t have the greatest meals this past week. Last week Wednesday, I had a fish curry that had fish bones in it. I ate part of it nonetheless, but eventually got annoyed and left the rest. My husband told me that this was unacceptable indeed. My staff sent out a complaint.

Then on Friday, I had vegetable rice only. Vegetable rice is just rice with a tiny bit of veg in it. I had no meat or meat substitute in my meal at all.

Thankfully though, over the past few days, the food was okay.

Then yesterday, my day activities staff and I put hamburgers on some type of grill for lunch. It was delicious!

What I’m Reminiscing About

I haven’t had the best month with respect to my mood. For this reason, a lot of memories have come up. I have been discussing some in my sessions with my community psychiatric nurse and also writing about them on here.

What I’m Loving

Being able to see my husband again! Due to the coronavirus lockdown, my care facility had a no-visitors policy for the past two months. Thankfully though, the policy was lifted last week. My husband and I still can’t have physical contact or even be within a five-feet distance, but it’s okay. I’m just so glad to meet my husband in real life again.

What I’ve Been Up To

I’ve been doing a lot of walking over this past month. The weather is really good. We had one rainy day, last Sunday, but overall it’s been really sunny and warm outside.

I’ve also been blogging a lot over the past month. I’m so glad to keep up the productive spirit!

What I’m Dreading

Nothing really. I did have a rough few weeks and was dreading a crisis happening again. Today is a pretty good day though. The tech guys installed the door sensor that will alert the night staff if I elope again today.

What I’m Excited About

Seeing my husband again this Saturday!

I’m also excited about getting Italian takeaway this Sunday. I’m probably going to get a tuna pizza.

What We’re Doing This Weekend

It’s a holiday weekend here in the Netherlands because of Pentecost. For this reason, we’re getting lots of extra treats at the care facility. Other than that and seeing my husband, I don’t have much planned.

What I’m Watching

Nothing to be honest. I’ve been thinking about getting a Netflix subscription again, but haven’t gotten down to it.

What I’m Reading

Nothing at the moment, but I did finish two books this past month: Wonder by R.J. Palacio and Wink by Rob Harrell. I reviewed that last one earlier this month.

What I’m Listening To

I’m mostly listening to the Pop Warm-UP 130 BPM playlist on Spotify. I actually love the upbeat, fast-paced tunes to “dance” to.

I also got myself a ScribD subscription, though I unsubscribed again after a few weeks. I listened to Anne of Green Gables as an audiobook on there. I must say I don’t think I see the benefit of audiobooks.

What I’m Working On

My birthday wishlist! I asked my husband to help me install a new iPhone that I’m goign to buy. I haven’t bought it yet, but am looking forward to doing so in a few weeks.

I’ve been looking at a sensory supplies store again for birthday gifts to ask my in-laws, parents and sister. I think I want a Jinglin’ ball. This is a soft ball that makes a sound when rolled. The adaptive supplies store for the blind also sells ringing balls, but these are too hard for safe playing with my fellow clients.

What I’m Wearing

Orange Dress

I have had this orange dress for a few years already, but hardly ever wore it before going into the care facility, because I can’t fasten the ribbon. I am loving it though. I also asked my staff to do my hair for this picture.

What I’m Looking Forward To Next Month

My birthday, obviously! It isn’t till the 27th of June, so we’ll have another What’s Up Wednesday before that, but oh well.

What Else Is Up

I think that about covered it.