Joy in October and November

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I didn’t post an update on my word of the year last month, so I’m doing one now. My word is “JOY”. As usual, I’m linking up with the #WOTY Linky as well as Lisa’s One Word Linky. Here goes.

I honestly can’t remember the joy I was looking forward to experiencing next month at the end of September. I just had a look at the post I wrote then and I said then that I was hoping to enjoy real food, as the staff at my new care home cook. I wasn’t as high with anticipation as I now looking back thought I was, realistically saying I’d have a lot to get used to so was just hoping to enjoy some everyday pleasures. I didn’t specify what these included.

As regular readers of my blog will know, I indeed did and still do have a lot of getting used to do. In fact, I’m pretty sure I won’t ever truly adjust to the chaos that is the new care home. As a result, I didn’t experience much everyday joy over the past few months. I did for the most part enjoy the real food, but not as much as I’d have liked, as I wasn’t involved at all. I’m hoping to be able to contribute to thinking up the menu soon, but the staff usually receive ideas from the clients while they are in the communal room and the staff are in the adjacent office. Since I hardly ever join the other clients in the communal room and there’s no set time for the staff to think up the week’s menu so that I could then, it may be hard for me to participate, but I at least voiced my wish to do so once again.

Over the month of November, I did finally try my hand at crafting semi-regularly again. During October, I tried to as well, but there hardly was any time for the staff to help me so I struggled to find the opportunity. I managed to finish two polymer clay pieces during November, the latter of which unfortunately didn’t cure properly so it broke.

I also enjoyed two hour-long walks during October. During November, my mobility wasn’t as great, so I struggled even with 30-minute walks. I did eventually manage to take a couple of pictures during my walks though.

I also looked forward to enjoying visits from family in October. Indeed, my sister did visit me. So did my husband and mother-in-law, both regularly during the past two months. These visits are a welcome excuse to leave the care home.

Honestly, I am not sure whether, at the end of September, I somehow knew that the new care home wasn’t going to be what it was cracked up to be and that was the reason I didn’t specify the everyday pleasures I hoped to enjoy. Even if I knew then, the adjustment honestly is far more intense than I expected it to be. In truth, I’ve been pushed far beyond my limits and the experience has been mostly a nightmare.

Now, at the end of November, I am noticing some tiny glimmers of hope on the horizon that might mean the new care home could actually become less than nightmarish for me eventually. I am not sure these will mean anything in the coming month yet, so I will continue to focus on small joys. For example, I am hoping to enjoy crafting even if I can’t enjoy it nearly at the level I used to. I am also hoping to enjoy some walking, weather permitting, as well as continued regular visits from my husband and mother-in-law.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (November 23, 2022)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone! I’m still struggling and neglecting my blog as a result. I fear this blog may be coming to an end someday within the not too distant future. Still, I hope not. Today, I’m participating in the Wednesday HodgePodge once again. Here goes.

1. Have you ever been on a cruise? If so where did you go and how did you like it? If not, do you have any desire to take a cruise someday?
No and I don’t think so. I’ve heard and read about just a little too many cruise ships sinking.

2. Tell us about your Thanksgiving plans…are you hosting? cooking? eating out? turkey or some other main? is it stuffing or dressing in your house? homemade cranberries or cranberries in a can? are pies on the dessert menu? what kind? what are your ‘must have’ sides? Tell us one thing you’re especially grateful for this year.
I’m not in the United States, so no Thanksgiving plans for me. I will be going to Lobith (where my husband lives) over the weekend though. We have been making plans for cooking a chicken and rice curry.

As for something I’m especially grateful for, I’d have to say the support of my mother-in-law. She sticks by me through the rough situation with my care despite being busy with her volunteer job herself.

3. If someone approaches you and asks for money do you give it to them? Do you drop money ‘in a tin cup’ that belongs to a person on the street? Do you have a specific charity you support during the holiday season and/or year round?
I don’t usually give money to people who ask. That includes people on the street. I used to give money to people on the street but stopped doing so after one of them got me to give him a larger than I would normally do amount of money because he had a pitiful but unbelievable according to my husband story. I don’t support any charities either, except for the member organizations I belong to, the Eye Association (for people with eye conditions) and CP Netherlands (for those affected by cerebral palsy).

4. Have you started decorating for Christmas? Is your tree up? Shopping done? Wrapped?
Not at all. I have a few Christmas decorations left over from last year (gave my tree away because it consumed huge amounts of batteries), but I haven’t put them up yet. We don’t do Christmas presents in my husband’s family and I won’t see mine at all. In fact, I can hardly believe it’s just one more month until Christmas.

5. Create your own acrostic using the word THANKS.
Thankful for a
Home to call my own
A husband who supports me
Necessities provided
Kind staff (sometimes) in the care home
Striving to make the best of this life

Of course, that “home to call my own” is in Lobith, by the way.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I had quite a mixed day today. The morning shift was horrible, but the evening shift’s staff at least tried to make up for it, be it consciously or not.

TGIF: Walking and Crafting

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this third Friday of November. I’m joining Paula Light for TGIF. How is your day going? Mine’s almost over, as it is 9PM as I type this.

I had a pretty good day. Have had an okay week in general anyway. Finally got down to creating my first actual polymer clay piece here at the new care home, a flower. Creating this simple piece took me about 45 minutes yesterday, including gathering my supplies, watching the tutorial, conditioning the clay, etc. The piece nearly got ruined when the staff took it off the tile to transfer it to an oven-safe mat, but thankfully she was able to put it back together. I initially didn’t want to cure the clay because, once cured, if a piece is ugly beyond sanding/buffing, all you can do is throw it in the trash. However, after some thought, I decided I wanted something tangible to remember my first actual claying session in the new care home by.

As those who’ve seen my creations from back at the old care home, will know, this one can’t compare to those. However, I feel judging from the fact that I haven’t been actually working with clay in a long while, I did an okay job.

I also went on several walks this past week. Haven’t met my step goal, insofar as I have one – those who know the Apple Watch, know its movement goal is calorie-based, not step-based -, but I have been doing an okay job overall. My movement goal, by the way, is easy to reach. My exercise goal, not so much. My monthly goal for November on the Apple Watch is to reach my daily exercise goal 23 out of 30 days. I reached my monthly goals for September and October – different goals – with ease, but am struggling with this one, because walking and dancing are my only ways of exercising here now that I don’t have my elliptical anymore. I could cheat by starting some ball game workout when throwing a ball with my staff, but that’s not fair.

Overall, this week is going okay with respect to my care. A slightly modified version of the day schedule I mentioned last Saturday got shoved down my throat once again on Tuesday, but thankfully, most staff are willing to take it with a grain of salt (or a whole bucket of salt).

Unfortunately, the situation had to get worse over the weekend before it got slightly better and the slightly better (ie. an okay week this week) might just be chance. I won’t disclose details of the, in my opinion, unacceptable care I received over the weekend.

I talked to an independent mediator about my care situation today (this is not a secret, all staff know I did). I won’t disclose what exactly we discussed, but we’re hoping to resolve the difficult care situation as peacefully as possible.

Here’s hoping you’ll all have a good weekend.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (November 12, 2022)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s once again been a while since I last wrote. Today, I’d like to write a post for #WeekendCoffeeShare. I drink more coffee here at the new care home than I used to and it’s not decaf in the evenings. That’s one thing I don’t mind, although I now realize the caffeine might be contributing to my poor sleep. Like I said a few times before, I’m struggling greatly otherwise too. Let me try to share a bit about this past week. Grab a cup of coffee, cappuccino (we have a milk frother here) or tea if you’d like one and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, firstly I’d start out with the slightly positive: the weather. Although others – climate activists – would see this as a negative (and I understand why), I am so relieved we have relatively mild fall weather here. Daytime temperatures rose to a maximum of between 12 and 17°C over the past week and we didn’t get much rain.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share about the negatives, the list of which starts with my day schedule. I requested one because, otherwise, staff would give me one-on-one support whenever they so wished. However, as it turned out, the day schedule was so vague that staff could still interpret it however they wanted to.

For instance, some staff had gotten it in their heads that, between each activity, regardless of how long that activity took, they’d need to leave me alone for 30 minutes. I said sarcastically that I’d have to think of activities that lasted two hours then, but the last staff who openly told me this about the 30 minutes between each activity didn’t get my point and said an activity could take 30 minutes or whatever too. For clarity’s sake, I have unlearned to initiate activities that take longer than 30 minutes myself because I know staff will usually tell me they don’t have the time, even though I got 90 minutes of uninterrupted one-on-one from my old home’s staff each weekday morning and two hours each weekday afternoon.

Like you may guess, my day schedule is organized around activities, not timeframes. I understand this if you want to put into it specific activities such as “walking” and can’t be sure how long each walk will take. That’s why my old home had “supported activity” in my day schedule. However, it appears as though my staff here want to be able to decide on a daily basis how much one-on-one support to offer me and usually this is not dependent on my need for it, or even on my fellow residents’ daily care needs. Not that those should matter, since my one-on-one is *my* one-on-one, not my fellow residents’. However, it’s about 90% dependent on staff qualities: whether they smoke, whether they’d rather do stuff on their phone or chill out with coworkers than help clients, whether they can or want to set boundaries on my fellow residents’ demands, etc.

As a result of all this, I tore up my day schedule on Monday and life hasn’t been worse since.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share it’s my husband’s birthday today. He doesn’t celebrate it or so he told me, but he will be coming here for a visit tomorrow.

How have you been?

The Wednesday HodgePodge (November 2, 2022)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Wow, I don’t think I’ve gone this long without blogging since I started this blog! Over the past week and a half, I didn’t have much to share except for how depressing and frustrating my new care home situation was, something I don’t really want to bother you all with. It seems it might be improving slightly, so I’m back on the blog. I don’t really want to share details though, so instead I’m joining in with the Wednesday HodgePodge. Here goes.

1. What about your upbringing are you most grateful for?
Hmmm, this is a hard one, since I endured quite a lot of childhood trauma. I’m going to say the fact that my parents, particularly my father, taught me a lot of academic skills.

2. What are two or three things that bring you comfort?
Essential oils, my weighted blanket, soothing music.

3. Something beautiful you saw today? (or yesterday depending on when it is you’re answering this question)
I am blind, so I don’t technically see anything, but something beautiful I got to experience today was to feel a cosmea flower.

4. Have you ever used a typewriter? Tell us a memory associated with that.
Yes I have. In the fourth grade, I started learning to touch type and we started out on a typewriter even though computers existed back then (1995). The reasoning was, or so I remember, that you can’t correct typeos on a typewriter. I hated learning to type, whether it was on a typewriter or computer.

5. Something you are grateful for today.
Another long walk with a fellow client and staff much like the one we went on two weeks ago. This time, just one staff went with us. This was a little scary for me, especially because the other client can talk triggering topics at times, but the staff cut her off when she did. This walk was also when the staff picked the cosmea flower for me.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
On Monday and yesterday again, I finally was able to be crafty again for the first time since getting into the new care home. Not polymer clay – that for now takes too long -, but I made a bracelet for the staff who were with me those evenings. I unfortunately forgot to take pictures.