Every Move Counts!

Posted on by Astrid
Daily writing prompt
Hit 5,000 steps today and drop your achievement here — we’re cheering you on!
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I have had an Apple Watch for nearly four years. Its movement goals are based on calories burned while being physically active rather than steps. It doesn’t even automatically display your step count. I just checked the Health app on my iPhone and my step count on there is nearly 7,000 at 7:30PM.

Because I get most of my physical exercise through walking, I can safely assume that a day’s step count at least correlates to my level of physical activity for the day. That is, unless I rode the side-by-side bike to the next town or even farther.

My calorie goal on my Apple Watch is 300. This goal is fairly easy to reach if I go for at least one walk. Even if I don’t walk, I can still reach it by dancing for about 20 minutes. The only times I didn’t reach my movement goal, were times when I wasn’t physically active at all, like during last week’s heatwave.

That being said, level of physical activity alone doesn’t determine health benefits. Effort does too. People who use a wheelchair full-time can still experience some health benefits of physical activity when they challenge themselves beyond their comfort zone. At least, this applies to brain health benefits. For metabolic health, actual movement is required. But not necessarily steps.

I honestly believe that I, even though I regularly hit those elusive 10K steps, experience fewer health benefits from my physical exercise than many who get in fewer steps. I mean, like I said, most of my physical activity involves walking. I should really incorporate more varied exercise into my routine. I do try to challenge myself physically even though this is in ways non-disabled people wouldn’t consider challenging. This way, I hope to keep my mind as sharp as possible.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (February 27, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. It’s just past 5:30PM as I start typing this blog post, so I’ll still have my evening coffee at 7PM. If you’d like to grab a drink too, feel free to get yourself a cup or glass of your favorite beverage and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s been crazy! Crazy good in my opinion, in that yesterday and on Wednesday, the daytime temp climbed to 17°C. Today we had a daytime high of 15°C and more wind. It’s raining now too, which I’m told is necessary, as the winter has been horribly dry over here.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that I reached my movement goal on my Apple Watch each day this week. Yesterday and on Wednesday, I even doubled it. I also broke my exercise minutes record yesterday. I mostly went for walks, but on Tuesday, I also rode the side-by-side bike to Deventer to get some shopping done. City representatives were having a survey about the bike-friendliness of the city. I accepted the flyer because the person handing it out was making a fuss of how special the side-by-side bike is. And also, we got a free serving of “poffertjes”. Note to self: actually do that survey!

On Wednesday I also rode the side-by-side bike to the nearby lakeshore to have a cup of coffee and a piece of caramel pie. No pictures this time, but it’s the same caramel pie I had a few times last year too. I must say, this place is pretty budget-friendly, in that I only paid €6.95.

If we were having coffee, I’d provide an update on my medical situation. I had bloodwork done on Monday because of increasing IBS symptoms. Thankfully, nothing came out of it. I’m okay just dealing with the pain and discomfort, knowing that at least it’s not something more serious.

This is not necessarily the case with respect to my involuntary movements and tremors. Like I shared on Saturday, my doctor says they’ll only get worse because I’m getting older. I call bullshit to that, in that, while literally everyone gets older, it’s not like I’m elderly at 39. My wife looked up tardive dyskinesia (TD) as a result of medications, which my doctor didn’t mention specifically but then again she never mentions anything specifically. If I have this, there’s some medication for it in the works, but it isn’t available in Europe yet.

My wife at one point mentioned that this medication is prescribed to people with Huntington’s Disease too. I know there are similarities between tardive dyskinesia and Huntington’s, but I didn’t know how far these go. I finally joined a TD group on Facebook and asked. Thankfully, TD is not a death sentence and it may not even progress. That doesn’t mean I’m no longer distressed, because, quite frankly, unlike my IBS symptoms, the involuntary movements significantly impair me.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I decreased my antipsychotic again starting today. I’m now on 9mg of aripiprazole. I’d expected to get one 5mg tablet and four 1mg tablets, but for some stupid reason I got nine 1mg tablets. This means I can now just about barely swallow all of my pills at once.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d share that the talk with my support coordinator on Sunday was a bit disappointing. There are several things about my care that frustrate me and she told me it’ll take months before there’ll be any significant changes. Thankfully, she didn’t mean my day schedule. That might change a little sooner. She also scheduled a meeting with the behavior specialist who’s now responsible for my home now that the regular one is on maternity leave. That meeting will be on March 10.

My Hopes for 2026

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all! I’m publishing a second post today to share my hopes for the new year. I don’t call them resolutions and I honestly hardly look back at them over the year, but it’s somewhat fulfilling to notice that I did make about half of my hopes for 2025 happen indeed. In fact, when I was talking with my wife about the year 2025, I realized I’d done better than I had expected, contrary to what I said in my yearly review. Anyway, here are the things I hope to achieve in 2026.

1. Get in more and more varied physical exercise. I am pretty sure that this is going to be a hard one, because it looks unlikely that I can go to the gym regularly or go swimming again. However, there are other ways too, like yoga, pilates, etc.

2. Do more meaningful activities, such as cooking, baking and crafting. This was one area in which 2025 has been less successful than I’d hoped but more successful than 2024. I’m still hoping to make that standing unicorn sculpture I mentioned yesterday happen. However, even if that’s not going to happen, I hope to include crafting and kitchen-based activities in my day schedule regularly.

3. Focus on mindfulness and gratitude. I am finding that even a few minutes in the Gratitude app helps lift my mood. I honestly think this is because it’s something new, but I hope that I can keep up the mojo. I already started this habit in 2025 when I wrote the positives and negatives of each day and E-mailed them to my assigned staff. I’ll continue to do so this year.

4. Improve my wake/sleep schedule. Over the past six months or so, I almost always spent most of the morning in bed. I’d really like to change that. Today was good in this respect.

5. Write more regularly. I don’t just mean blogging, although I seriously hope to do more of that too. I mean, my blogging year was better than 2024, but 2024 was about the most disappointing year blog-wise. I hope to write more this year than I did last year. I also started doing Morning Pages again. I however don’t get up early for them, because I know that’s a recipe for disaster. Rather, today, I did mine after breakfast, when I used to hop back into bed.

6. Further taper my medication. I’m having another meeting with the intellectual disability physician, who prescribes my psych meds, next week. So far, I’m pretty sure I’m still able to further decrease my med dosage.

7. Stay relatively mentally stable. This is an almost obligatory item on the list, as I honestly think the above have covered all I can do to help myself along in this respect. Some of the contributing factors to my deep lows have been related to external circumstances. Now I wouldn’t say I have absolutely no influence on those, but it’s not like I’m all-powerful.

8. Stay true to my wishes and needs with respect to my care. This means, for example, that I will continue to assert my right to informed consent for all of my care agreements.

9. Expand my social circle. Like I shared on Monday, I fully intend on going to more meetings in 2026. At least one of those, the brain injury support meeting, is local. I also intend to go to the nationwide cerebral palsy day in April. I intend to go by myself. In previous years, I went with my mother-in-law, but I’m not in contact with her anymore. Besides, I am pretty sure that, now that I know quite a few other participants, being accompanied by her is a hindrance to my social inclusion more than a help.

10. Be more conscious of my food choices and eat more healthily. I stepped onto the scale yesterday evening and the number wasn’t pleasant. Now I do know that part of that is probably holiday weight and part is the fact that I’ve been moving less. Regardless of my weight though, I seriously hope to be making healthier food choices.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (October 12, 2024)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. It’s nearly 9PM, so long past my last coffee break for the day. However, I’d be happy to pass you a virtual mug of your favorite beverage. My spouse is in search for pumpkin spice latte. Since my blog readership is mostly international, I doubt anyone could recommend a place to find it tomorrow local to here and my spouse can do a Google search too. Anyway, let’s have a drink and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, I’d start by sharing about the weather. It’s been quite cool with daytime temps below 15°C most days. Today, the daytime high was as low as 12°C. Brrrr! We’ve also had some rain, though none today or yesterday. Next week, we’re supposed to get one day with a daytime temperature of 21°C. Sadly, rain is in the forecast then too.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that, this week, I did okay with my exercise. I didn’t meet my goal everyday, but I don’t care.

On Thursday, a staff and I were riding the side-by-side bike to a nearby town, so that I could pick up a package. (As regular readers of my blog know, package delivery to the institution is hit-or-miss, so I set up a pick-up point in the nearest town as my default delivery address with DHL.) The road leading directly to the town was under construction, so we headed another way. When we were in the next village, the bike got a flat tire. The staff called the home to have someone else pick me up by car and he himself walked to the care home with the bike. It’s really frustrating, because this bike had just had major repairs.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I did pick up the package yesterday. When in that town, we noticed it was market day. We decided to get some fried fish. Then, when coming to another stand, we heard something about an offer by which, if you’d bought something from four vendors, you could draw a prize, like a voucher. We went back to the fish stand and asked for them to sign our card too. I visited the fish stand like I said, the veggie/fruit stand (where I bought raspberries and lemons), the nuts stand and the olive stand. I then went to draw the prize and it was a €5 voucher. I spent that on licorice. Of course, most food at farmer’s markets is more expensive than at the supermarket, but I love the experience. By the way, if anyone has any ideas for what to do with lemons, your suggestions are welcome. I thought many smoothies had fresh lemon juice in them, but only a teaspoon or so and I have six lemons.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I did a lot of baking over the past week. On Tuesday, I tried baking cookies from a store-bought mixture, but those didn’t turn out good. I then decided to give cookie baking another try on Wednesday, making the cookies from scratch. That was much better! Finally, today, I baked a cake. Don’t tell my dietitian, as I’ve probably gained weight. Weight management can wait.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d tell you that I got a new day schedule. It doesn’t look much different, but there are some significant improvements. For example, it’s now clear who will be supporting me during the day. The weekend schedule is also now the same as the weekday schedule. I haven’t yet read the schedule myself and, judging from what the staff are saying, it does need a few small tweaks. I’ll discuss this with my assigned staff soon.

Speaking of which, I got a new second assigned staff. I have had one staff as my assigned staff for a few months, but she only works one or two days a week. I now got one of the student staff as my secondary assigned staff. I think she’s quite good at her job despite just starting out.

My Hopes for 2024

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. As regular readers of my blog know, I don’t do New Year’s resolutions, instead calling them “hopes”. This is just an excuse not to have to take responsibility, I guess, but oh well. I love writing them and looking back at them after a year to see how well I did. Last year, I did participate in #WBOYC, of course, but honestly I never looked at my hopes for 2023 when doing my monthly reflections. Oh well, maybe my first not-quite-resolution has to be to look back at this post when reflecting on the month. Here goes.

1. Get back on track with respect to healthy’ish eating. I did manage to get to a healthy BMI in 2023. That is, I’m pretty sure with all the New Year’s treats, including more “oliebollen” than I told my dietitian I liked, I’m now back across the line to overweight (I was only half a pound below that line last week). I know that with some cutting back on snacking, and it doesn’t even have to be drastic, I can lose the excessive pounds I gained over the holidays. More importantly though, for the remainder of the year, I’d like to maintain a relatively healthy diet. After all, sugary ttreats and high-fat foods are bad for you even if you’re at a healthy BMI.

2. Get back into a regular movement routine. Though I did excellent for the first half of 2023 and pretty well for most of the second half too, like I said yesterday, I wasn’t moving as much over the past month or two as I would’ve wanted to. This year, I obviously hope to meet my movement goal each day, but I’m not sure that will be a realistic goal, as it wasn’t in 2023 and that’s not just because of lack of motivation. I’d also really like to find another way of exercising besides walking, either swimming again or something else. I seem to remember we do have gym equipment somewhere on institution grounds, so maybe that’s an option.

3. Write more regularly. Last year really sucked in the blogging department. I really hope to change that and get back on track with blogging more often.

4. Broaden my horizons in the crafty department. I hardly touched on this yesterday, but the last couple of months were really positive in this respect. For one thing, I started creating figures, such as the gnome and Santa, without consulting YouTube tutorials. For another, on Saturday, I did something really cool: I crafted a unicorn completely independently! I did initially leave black streaks on the head from touching it while trying to attach the eyes, which the staff had to clean up with alcohol. Other than that, I did everything completely without supervision or help.

In 2024, I really hope to be more creative, try out more things on my own (without the expectation that I’ll lose my one-on-one) and generally have more fun claying and maybe doing other crafty things.

5. Explore other day activities. In 2023, I wanted to expand my horizons with respect to my day schedule, moving beyond 60 minutes at a time, beyond my room and beyond one-on-one. The first was a massive success, as I now have a great day schedule (which of course took me moving out of the home I lived in last year, but oh well). The second and third, I’m not 100% sure I want to achieve, actually. Rather, I’d like to explore meaningful activities, whether these can be done in my room or elsewhere, on my own, with my one-on-one or in a group.

6. Get settled into my current care home, generally. I really hope to get more comfortable here and start building up a trust-based relationship with some staff.

7. Improve in the mental health department. This, for me, means stabilizing with respect to my trauma-related symptoms. It also means getting closer to a proper med combo and dosage. In 2023, I didn’t change any of my meds or dosages, which was frustrating as I did notice some increase in possible side effects. I’ll have a meeting with the intellectual disability physician to discuss my meds on the 15th.

8. Continue to work on my relationships and supporting the people I love. Particularly, my marriage evolved in a positive way in 2023 and I would really love to keep it as strong as it is going forward.

What are your hopes for this year?

#WeekendCoffeeShare (September 2, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this first Saturday of September. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare, even though it’s waaay too late for me to have coffee. That is, I don’t usually feel the energizing effects that strongly, but I am sure the staff won’t let me have a cup of coffee anymore. Or anything to drink except for water, truthfully. So let’s have a glass of water and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee (or a glass of water, but I always start my paragraphs like this and even my saying that is a cliché), first I’d share about the weather. We’ve had rain, clouds, some sunshine and daytime temperatures usually around 20°C. Today, the daytime high was 23°C and next week, we might even get temperatures as high as 28°C.

If we were having coffee, next I’d tell you about my movement. I haven’t been exercising as much this past week as I did last week and today I saw in my trends in the fitness app that my exercise has decreased. Of course it has, you’d say, if I haven’t been exercising as much this week as last week, but the trends compare the past 90 days to the past 365 days. I try not to care, even though I did sign up for a month-long challenge in the Challenges app for September.

Yesterday, when on a walk with my assigned staff, we compared data, since she also has an Apple Watch. I’m glad my cardio fitness level wasn’t much lower than hers. I mean, I would’ve felt bad for her if both of ours were low, but mine is in the below-average range.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that, on Thursday, my assigned staff and I went out to have lunch together. She’s off on vacation for the rest of September and I’ll (most likely) move this month, so we won’t see each other again. We both had a large salad, mine one with chicken, of course. We both also had a heavenly caramel coffee.

Today, I decided to gift my assigned staff the blue polymer clay unicorn with Hotfix rhinestones on it. I remember creating my very first unicorn here at the institution with her. I originally hadn’t intended on giving my polymer clay creations away, like I had done when moving out of the care home in Raalte, but then again if I take them with me to the new care home they will probably break during transport. I’ve seen a little too many staff come and go here to have a piece for everyone, but I have something for the ones I see most often.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I’ve been collecting books of journaling prompts once again. Amazon.nl now allows customers to pay for Kindle books with their bank account, for which I’m extremely grateful. Until last Monday, you could only pay for digital products with a credit card, which I don’t have, so I only downloaded free Kindle books. Now you still need a credit card for other digital products, but eBooks are an exception. And, of course, the first book I bought was a collection of journaling prompts. I also bought a collection of essential oil diffuser recipes. Each book cost under €3. I do need to make sure I won’t spend my money compulsively, as a search for “journaling prompts” in the Kindle store returns over 3,000 books. Then again, a lot are free at one point. For this reason, I acquired three new books of journaling prompts over the past few days, only one of which I paid for.

Lastly, if we were having coffee, I’d ask you all to cheer on my oldest niece as she starts school on Monday. She will be four on the 10th. I need to pop into the toy store tomorrow to buy her a present, as ordering something online won’t get it here on time for me to send it on to her.

How have you been?

The Wednesday HodgePodge (August 23, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining the Wednesday HodgePodge once again. Here goes.

1. What’s your earliest memory?
My third birthday. My paternal grandma brought me a doll from Berlin and my father taught my sister and me the German word for “doll” (“Puppe”). My sister and I, of course, laughed really hard about this, as “Puppe” sounds just like the Dutch verb for “poo”. The doll, by the way, is named Roza, because my father also said Rosa (but then again, as a child I had no clue how to spell it) is a German name.

2. What’s something about you today that the old you would find surprising?
The fact that I live in an institution. Until I was about 25, living in an institution was my worst nightmare.

3. Do you like to fish? Are you a fish eater? Favorite fish (to eat)? Favorite way to prepare fish?
I’ve only been fishing once and found it intensely boring. Then again, I can’t see so that takes away what little fun I imagine there is to fishing.

I do like fish, but usually just the once with the not-too-distinct flavor. The only exception is tuna, which I love and would probably be my favorite fish to eat. When my sister turned vegetarian and showed my parents info about the unethical consequences of tuna eating, they for a while refused to buy it. I got really upset.

4. What’s your biggest first world problem?
I’m not sure whether my unsuitable care home counts as a first world problem. I guess it does, since most disabled people in developing countries don’t have a choice where they live at all. Neither do I at this point, in the sense that I know next to nothing about my future care home and am told that since I’m moving anyway it’d be pointless to give me more info. I have a post scheduled for tomorrow on this topic. In any case, I’m still fortunate in many ways I guess.

5. What one word would you use to describe your year thus far?
Chaos.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I almost broke my record of active calories burned on my Apple Watch today. Honestly, I think relatively speaking I already broke it, since my last record dates from September of last year and I weighed 12kg more than I do now, so burned off more calories with the same physical exertion. I still need 20 exercise minutes to break my exercise record (which I set on the same day), but I won’t do that. Those 15 active calories I still need to burn for my movement record should be doable though. Today, unlike the time I set my old record, I did a variety of workouts: walking, swimming, the stationary bike and dancing.

TGIF: A Short But Productive Week

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today, I’m joining Paula Light’s #TGIF
once again. Paula writes about this being a short week. I almost forgot about that. I mean, we don’t do Memorial Day here in the Netherlands. We have Veterans’ Day, which I believe is on June 29. However, last Sunday was Pentecost and, as with Easter, the Monday after that is called second Pentecost and is an official holiday too.

My week, despite being short, was productive. On Tuesday, I had a meeting with my behavior specialist and a behavior specialist responsible for a possible new care home (or several, I don’t know). They were purposefully vague about the home(s) this behavior specialist is in charge of. Nonetheless, I think the meeting went quite well.

On Wednesday, I was frustrated all day because my Braille display wouldn’t connect to my PC. I thought the problem was the cable, but it wasn’t. In the end, I found out that I had somehow managed to remove my Braille display from within the screen reader’s settings for default Braille display. My Braille display still doesn’t charge properly, for which a technician will come round on Tuesday.

As of yesterday, I am exercising more than I did last month, because I signed up for two challenges in a fitness app called Challenges. Yesterday, in fact, I burned over 500 active calories according to my Apple Watch. Today I’m not yet there, but I did get in significantly more steps. I don’t want this to become an obsession, so I’m making sure I do other activities too. Like, yesterday I created a polymer clay ice cream cone. I later realized that, because I had used white Premo, it needs to be cured at 135°C, but all the other colors are pretty light Fimo soft, for which 130°C is the maximum temperature (and in fact they often darken at this temperature too). I usually cure a Fimo/Premo combo at 130°C and will this time too, but am pretty sure the Fimo colors will be ruined.

This afternoon, my mother texted me asking whether I’d thought about celebrating my birthday (which is on the 27th). If it’s up to her, she’d like for my parents, my spouse and me to go out for dinner. I discussed it with my spouse, who suggested we go to our favorite chicken restaurant, which is about halfway between my parents and Lobith. Or was about halfway between my parents and Lobith, that is, since when looking it up, I found a different chicken restaurant, closer to my parents (so a longer drive for my spouse) and it turned out our favorite chicken restaurant no longer exists. I’m not yet sure what to do now, but I’ll think on it.

Trying to Live a Balanced Life

Posted on by Astrid

This week’s topic for Tranquil Thursday is balance. Maggie’s first question is about work/life balance. Since I don’t work and never have, I can’t speak to that. However, it made me think of the ways in which I need to create a balanced life in general.

I don’t currently have formal day activities. Of course, I have four hour-long activity slots a day, but I can spend them pretty much however I please and sometimes (most times, actually) I feel so uncomfortable with the staff assigned to me that we can’t do more than play a simple card game. I do feel I need to find a balance in my life between being active and passive.

Active, in this sense, does not necessarily mean exercising, although that too needs to happen. I probably don’t need to worry about being extremely sedentary. I fell pretty badly yesterday and still I managed to meet my movement goal on my Apple Watch today. Okay, my goal is just set to 300 active calories, but that’s so that it’s within easy reach even on bad days like today.

What I do mean by being more active is engaging more in stimulating activities such as crafting, food prep such as smoothie making, etc. I also intend to be more active where it comes to actually learning about these topics. I mean, I love copying recipes and experimenting just a tiny bit, but it’d be great if I knew about the science behind them. For this reason, I just downloaded a book off Bookshare on the fragrance aspects of essential oils. How great would it be if I could create my own blends rather than relying on some shady subscription website.

This doesn’t mean I need to be active mentally or physically all day. It’s about balance, after all. I also need to rest. But currently, I feel my life is a bit too much “on hold” for my liking.

Another way in which I need to find balance, which Maggie didn’t ask about, is health. Last week, I agreed with the dietitian on a weight range I need to stay in to maintain a healthy (or near-healthy) BMI and not go overboard with my weight loss. As long as I stay within this range, I am in control of my eating habits. I do need to make sure I don’t slip back into my bulimic tendencies though. I will see the dietitian again in mid-June and will ask her to continue check-ins with me, although they don’t need to be monthly anymore I think. Over the past few weeks, I gained a little weight, but I’m still within the agreed upon range, though I do notice I’m having “cheat” foods more regularly than I’m probably supposed to.

Another question Maggie asked is about your life pie. This is a drawing of a pie divided into six slices for each area of life. You then put dots in each slice to see how well you do in each area and connect them to see which area is relatively unfulfilled. This is a visual exercise, of course, which I can’t do, but it did make me think. My life is most fulfilled in the area of exercise and least, unless you count work (but that’s by societal standards only), in the areas of friends and play. That last one might surprise my staff, as I play card games on a daily basis. However, what I mean by this is truly being creative.

TGIF: Twenty-Two Degrees!

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining Paula Light for
#TGIF, an opportunity to ramble.

Today, let me share about the weather. It’s been okay most of the week with some rain, some clouds and occasionally a bit of sunshine and temperatures rising to about 16°C. That’s cold for May if you ask me. Now I’m no weather expert, so I have no idea what constitutes normal weather for May, but it feels like it should be almost summer-like.

Which, today, it is. The daytime temperature reached 22°C. Well-known Dutch meteorologist Erwin Kroll, who would do the weather forecast on public television in the late 1980s and 1990s and is therefore my face of the weather, once told an interviewer on the audio magazine for blind children that this was his favorite temperature. After all, at 22°C, you can both sit still and move around without getting cold or hot respectively. I love this temperature too, though my ideal temperature is slightly warmer.

I once again wore my blue, flowery skirt that I also wore last week, along with the same blue shirt. In the evening, I changed into shorts, because I was going on the stationary bike. I had also gone for three walks today, so up till this point have nearly two hours of active minutes on my Apple Watch. I intend to still dance some, because I feel compelled to double my movement goal once again.

In other health news, I stepped onto the scale on Wednesday and I finally reached a truly healthy BMI. Yes, you heard me correct, this time it’s not nearly, but actually. Even though my dietitian tells me I no longer need to lose weight and has been telling me so for a while, I’d love to still lose a few pounds. That being said, I understand the dietitian’s logic: with my history of bulimic tendencies, it’s easy to fall into that trap again and a healthy lifestyle is more important than an ideal weight. The last time I was at a healthy BMI, was back when I got married in 2011, but then again back then I engaged in purging behaviors quite a lot too. I never, ever want to go back there.

I do need to make sure exercising doesn’t become compulsive either. That being said, that’s not as likely to happen as my body just can’t go on forever. Then again, actually listening to my body – challenging it when it needs to be challenged beyond its comfort zone and giving it a rest when it needs to rest -, is quite hard. I am working on this though.