Gratitude List (July 28, 2026) #TToT

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I used to participate in the Ten Things of Thankful blog hop regularly, but since the original blog on which it was hosted was abandoned in favor of a number of individual hosts’ blogs, I struggled to find it and, when I did, was often too late to join in. Now I’m still on time (though barely) and would like to share my gratefuls. It feels odd doing this on a Tuesday, but oh well. I’m doing this post in the classic editor because I struggle with lists in the block editor.

1. I’m grateful for my best friend. As regular readers of this blog know, the past year or two has seen a lot of change in our relationship, in that we used to be married. The divorce isn’t completely final yet, but that should happen this week or the next. I’m grateful though that, despite no longer being a couple, we still call each other almost daily and see each other several times a month.

2. I’m grateful for banana bread. I baked a vegan version last Saturday and my best friend and I got a small slice of banana bread (also vegan I believe) with our coffees at a coffee shop in Deventer last Sunday. I think the coffee shop one was better, though my own banana bread was also much better than all the other versions I’d baked before.

3. I’m grateful I was able to use up the leftover almond milk from the banana bread before it expired. I needed only 75ml for the banana bread and had a 1l container. I used the rest for smoothies today.

4. I’m grateful both of my smoothies turned out good. One was an espresso-based smoothie and the other, I just made using whatever I thought of: frozen mangoes, almond milk of course, chia seeds and a bit of honey.

5. I’m grateful for a tiny bit of crafty inspiration again. I started on some polymer clay earrings again yesterday.

6. I’m grateful all ingredients for the pasta I’m going to make for myself and my fellow residents tomorrow did arrive. The institution’s grocery service can be hit or miss, but this time, everything came in.

7. I’m grateful for good weather. Tomorrow’s supposed to be hot and it’s still horribly dry, but oh well.

8. I’m grateful for a new denim skirt. I’d never worn denim skirts before, but it’s nice. Also grateful for my size. As regular readers might know, I used to be obese. Since I’m also short, it’s hard enough finding fitting clothes in my size now that I’m at a (nearly) healthy weight, but it used to be near impossible unless I wanted horribly baggy sweaters and pants.

9. I’m grateful a staff braided my hair yesterday. Too bad I didn’t take a selfie.

10. I’m grateful for sleep. It’s been a struggle lately, but I do appreciate all the rest I can get.

A Gratitude Letter to My Paternal Grandfather

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I really want to write more and also to cherish the positives in my life, both past and present. For this reason, I opened the Gratitude app on my iPhone and had the journal feature give me a prompt. It was to write a gratitude letter to one of my grandparents. I have shared quite a few times how my paternal grandmother positively impacted my life. I could write her a gratitude letter and I may do so later on, but for today, I’m choosing to write one to my paternal grandfather.

Dear Theo

It’s been over 23 years since you passed. If there’s an afterlife, I hope there’s a way for the divine to get this letter to you. If there isn’t, I know you’ll never read this, but it helps me personally to express my gratitude for you. I think you may not have noticed it, especially since your dementia was already advanced by the time it was diagnosed, but I felt deeply touched by you even during the last few years of your life.

Your eldest son, my father, may not appreciate this about you, but I realize I got my health-conscious mind from you. I mean, it didn’t always look good on you and my parents don’t like it in me either. You were worried about cognitive and physical decline for as long as I remember. My father thought you were an nagger. I see you had a zest for life that was maybe hidden beneath anxiety.

You also taught me to listen to my body. Not that I can do it well, but at least I’m not the one to decide I’d rather die than go see a doctor.

Of course, I didn’t know you when you were young. You were 61 when I was born. As such, I don’t know whether your zest-for-life-turned-to-anxiety was always there. My father doesn’t have it (yet), at least not the anxiety part. I do. Having seen my parents’ attitude towards you and now towards me, gives me the will to be conscious of what I want in life, including at the end of it. You never had that choice. Then again, I hope you didn’t experience decline when you were my age.

Lastly, I want to thank you for the apparently insignificant details of your visits. You know, the coins worth five guilders you gave me and my sister at the end of each visit. Once, you put them in a transparent container that was screwed tight and that we couldn’t open independently. I remember it frustrated me to no end, because I wanted my coin, for goodness’ sake. However, now that I’m an adult, this is one of my cherished memories of you.

With love, Astrid

Sunny Sunday (April 5, 2026): Green Tea “Without the Hassle”

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today I’m joining Leigha for Sunny Sunday. Today is Easter Sunday. For me, as someone who isn’t a Christian and didn’t grow up with religion, it doesn’t mean much beyond being an excuse to stuff myself full of junk food and candy. I’m grateful that I don’t have a reason to miss my family more than I usually do during these holidays. I mean, I don’t miss the family I have, I think. I miss the family I could’ve had.

Let me, however, share some positives for the day. I made a blueberry, mango and cucumber smoothie for myself and my fellow residents this morning, which we enjoyed as part of our Easter brunch. My fellow residents truly appreciated it. In the evening, we got Chinese food delivered. I ate a lot, but not so much that I got a stomachache.

Generally speaking, I’ve had a pretty good week. Yes, I still experience ups and downs, but overall, I do more meaningful activities than I used to do. For example, yesterday I cooked macaroni (just for myself this time). I had planned on cooking my traditional mushroom macaroni, but couldn’t find the concentrated mushroom soup I needed for its sauce. I used powdered mushroom sauce instead, which was still pretty good.

I’m also finding a way to have my daily cup of tea in the evening despite the change in support hours at my care home. It’s heavily dependent on the particular staff whether it works out or not, but I do hope that as staff learn to understand me more, this’ll improve. Today, I did get to enjoy a cup of green tea. And by green tea I mean green tea “without the hassle”, as I call it, so pure green tea without additional flavorings. I do like a select few flavored green teas, but none that my home usually has on hand and somehow all the green tea they order comes in variety packs with lots of unnecessary flavors. I’m grateful that, today as well as yesterday, the staff were able to find a bag of pure green tea for me.

Thankful Thursday (February 19, 2026): I Still Have Hope…

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today is Thursday, so I thought I’d try to create a post focusing on thankfulness. It’s been a rough week with me having a zillion ideas of things to do but no way to put them into action. I’m still struggling with the lack of structure in my day schedule, which means I have no way of planning any activities.

That being said, I keep having hope. Sometimes I feel that hope is my enemy, in the sense that it’s the only thing keeping me alive and what if it’s idle hope? What if the powers-that-be are unwilling to help me create a more meaningful life and they’re just keeping me in the dark about it because they know things might take a turn for the worse if they tell me?

Let’s focus on gratitude though. Today, I cut up the bell peppers me and my fellow residents had as a side with our lunch. I also went shopping for groceries with a staff. I bought some ingredients for making smoothies and breakfasts, as well as a poke bowl I had for dinner today. That was good.

This staff used to work here until last summer and was one of my favorites. She occasionally still subs here. I feel a little guilty having been so vulnerable with her today as to show her that, in all honesty, I don’t feel my life is meaningful at this point. Thankfully, she did have her regular coworkers write down how much I’m struggling.

I also wrote an E-mail to my assigned staff and support coordinator this evening. My assigned staff is on sick leave again, but she said she’d check her E-mail regularly. I explained the thing I’m struggling with most again, ie. the fact that I experience a lack of meaningful day activities despite sufficient one-on-one hours. The most frustrating part is the fact that it’s not about budget or staffing, so that I honestly don’t see why I wouldn’t have gotten a more structured day schedule months ago.

My support coordinator said a few days ago that she’d get back to me about the issue on Sunday. I doubt anything significant is going to become of it, but the sliver of hope that things might improve, is keeping me going.

For now, what is also keeping me going, is actually thinking up ideas of things to do when the staff are more willing and able to help me create more meaningful activities. Here, I said “when”, not “if”. Does that mean something?

Gratitude List (August 24, 2025) #TToT

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s been a while since I last joined Ten Things of Thankful (#TToT), but today, I feel like it. Here are my gratefuls for the past week.

1. Baking a cake. Earlier this week, I decided to use up the second of three cake mixes I’d gotten from my parents for my birthday. It was raspberry cake. Unfortunately, I found out today that the third mix had an expiration date in April, so I threw it away. Now I do think the other mixes probably had their expiration dates at the same time, as they came in one package, but oh well.

2. A long bike ride. On Wednesday, the staff and I rode the side-by-side bike to the nearby town to get groceries, only for me to realize then that I didn’t know what groceries I’d wanted to buy, so we decided to just bike around. It turned out I’ve broken my record for the longest bike ride at 19.3km.

3. The night staff. I’ve been needing their support a few times lately and often feel like a burden. The night staff used to make that feeling worse by telling me to “just try to sleep”. Thankfully, recently they’re telling me that I am not a burden and they’re there for me as much as they are there for everyone else. Even if they don’t fully mean this, it helps me feel more comfortable.

4. The staff having cooked chicken and noodles for us on Wednesday.

5. An institution cafeteria sandwich on Thursday.

6. Green tea. Always, green tea. I’ve been requesting it in the evening more often lately and that’s been feeling good.

7. My having been allowed to play DJ again with the home’s large Bluetooth speaker. I mostly played ABBA songs, but did one MARINA song too, realizing only when it’d started that it was rather explicit. Oh well, most of the residents don’t know English and the few who do, just chuckled at it.

8. Mini candy bars. A fellow resident’s parents brought them yesterday and they are yum! I only found out that they were from Aldi today. If I’d known earlier, I’d have asked my spouse to drive by there on the way from Apeldoorn to the institution so that I could pick up a bag myself.

9. Diarium, a diary app. Recently, there was a discussion on Reddit about journaling and I decided to give this app, which is available on both Windows and iOS, another try. It has a lot fewer features than Day One, but Day One’s web-based interface (there’s no PC app) honestly sucks.

10. The weather. We’ve been having lower temps this week than last week and I’ve had to wear my jeans again and even put on a jacket some of the time. Still, it’s been warm and sunny enough.

Today’s Accomplishments (June 20, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m struggling with having a zillion vague ideas of what to write in my mind but not being able to get started on actually typing any of them down. This makes me feel like a failure as a writer. To counter this feeling (and to actually write something, anything…), I’m doing a list of things I did accomplish today. Here goes.

1. Did my morning ADLs. I actually needed to shower today, but had showered and washed my hair yesterday so I did a quick wash this morning. After all, I was still pretty tired when waking up. I’m content with this.

2. Went to physical therapy. I had what I might hope was my last dry needling session on my right leg. It hurt when I was being treated, but the pain has been manageable for most of the day. I probably have to thank paracetamol for that, as I now have to take that four times daily for an unrelated ache.

3. Went on two 1.8km walks. After the dry needling treatment, I’m not supposed to walk long distances for the first 24 hours, but this felt okay.

4. Experimented with seed bead stringing. I had ordered seed beads in four colors last week (the parcel I moaned about not having been delivered last week). I had also ordered a beading needle, which I expected to be sharp so I was saying that I probably needed to protect my fingers. Then again, if I do so, I can no longer feel where the needle is going. Turns out the beading needle isn’t sharp at all. And guess what? I actually succeeded at stringing the seed beads onto the wire. Granted, I haven’t tried even the most basic beading stitch yet, as I couldn’t follow the step-by-step instructions I found online and didn’t have the time to watch a video with my staff. I’ll give it a try soon though.

5. Brushed my teeth. This isn’t such a big achievement to most, but for a long while when in the psych hospital, I struggled with this. For this reason, I’m mentioning it anyway.

Today’s Small Joys (June 1, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all. Today is a mixed day emotionally. In the morning, I was quite tired and this frustrated me. At night, I also experienced frustration at the fact that, tomorrow morning, there’ll only be temp workers on this side of the home. We’ll see how it goes though and right now, I want to write and not just moan. So I’m joining Sunny Sunday and sharing this day’s small joys.

1. Doing my hair. I rarely do anything with my hair except for brushing it, but today I decided I wanted it in a ponytail. I have a dozen scrunchies and selected one that has a really velvety texture.

2. Perfume. I also decided to spray on some perfume. I rarely do this and wasn’t sure anyone other than me would notice, but my best friend did.

3. A white Kinder Bueno. Usually my best friend and I buy one to share when we’re at Hema, my best friend’s favorite store. We were there this afternoon, but only to have lunch. I said I wanted to pop into Aldi for some quark and my best friend apparently needed groceries too. It still surprised me that, when dropping me off at the institution, my best friend gave me the Kinder Bueno.

4. A pun on the word “quark”. For those not from Europe, quark is like thick yogurt (sometimes wrongly called cottage cheese). My friend though found another meaning, some type of physics term, and kept asking me whether I wanted “hadron-yogurt”. This is something I truly love about our friendship: the tons of inside jokes that no-one else understands.

5. A large stroopwafel (cookie) with my evening coffee. According to my foo plan, I only get those on Fridays and Saturdays, so it was great having a treat.

6. Lovely comments from my readers. I am so glad I don’t rely on search engines like Google (thank you not, AI) to drive traffic to my blog. I do really hope blogging will withstand the influx of AI.

7. Speaking of AI, having some more creative ideas thanks to a ChatGPT convo I had several months ago and was reminded of today. Specifically, I had ChatGPT create a Premo polymer clay color recipe for the color of my best friend’s car and was reminded of this when a person in a Facebook group asked for Premo color recipes. There are plenty on Etsy, but in that group, we aren’t allowed to mention vendors. Another commenter said a lot of it is experimenting. I am now wanting to start experimenting with colors. I know the result will likely be poor because of my blindness, but I love the creative flow this idea gets me into.

Thankful Thursday (May 15, 2025): An Active and Creative Day

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today is Thursday. I used to join in with (now angel) Brian’s Thankful Thursday occasionally a long time ago, but mostly pet bloggers joined in there. Recently, I discovered another Thankful Thursday blog hop. I’m joining in with both just because I can. 🙂

Today I had a really productive day in both the physical activity department and the creativity department.

In the morning, I went for a walk on institution grounds. Then, in the afternoon, my staff and I rode the side-by-side bike to the next town, where another staff lives who is currently on leave for family-related reasons. I went there to bring her a polymer cay “(op)kikker” (frog).

The staff invited us in for coffee, which was lovely. She really appreciated my little gift, which in turn made me grateful.

Later, I went for another walk on grounds and, in the evening, I crafted a unicorn out of polymer clay. My staff asked whether it was for yet another staff member, but I think I’m keeping this one myself. 😊

The staff, who had been doing all my support from 1PM on, also asked me whether I want to ride the side-by-side bike again tomorrow. Well, of course! I want to go to the market!

I am intensely grateful for a productive day. Here are some things I especially appreciated about today:


  • Coffee at the staff’s house.

  • Minimal pain even though I was quite physically active.

  • Being able to create again (I’ve been exceptionally crafty lately).

  • Excitement for tomorrow’s visit to the market.

  • And finally, the fact that I figured out how to use emojis on the computer! 🤣

Today’s Small Joys (March 16, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m struggling a bit but don’t want to share why. Instead, I’m sharing some small joys from the day again today. I’m participating in Sunny Sunday. Here goes.

1. Sunshine. It’s chilly (about 9°C in the afternoon) but sunny. With this being the case, my partner and I were even able to sit outside for our lunch.

2. Good coffee. The lunch we had was a bit disappointing to me especially considering how much it cost, but the coffee was good.

3. Being able to wear a nice, handmade necklace and being complimented on it by my spouse. I bought glass beads and wire a few days ago and I created my first necklace with them yesterday. I wore it today, which made me feel good.

4. Finding a couple more necklaces, most handmade by me many years ago, in the bag my spouse brought me after clearing out the house.

5. Unicorn soft toys. I was clearing out my box of stuffies this evening, because my spouse had also brought me some stuffed animals and my box was already quite full. I didn’t seriously know how many unicorn soft toys I have. Those, I all kept.

6. Looking forward to the sensory room the staff are creating on the other side of the home. I actually plan to donate some of my unwanted soft toys to that project.

7. Finding one of my first polymer clay creations in the bag too. It’s a baby. It’s extremely ugly, so I threw it away. However, remembering my making it, as well as realizing how far I’ve come along on my creative journey, made me smile.

Honestly, many of these things are more nostalgia-inducing than purely joyful. Remembering the good times is a positive thing though, so I’ll still focus on that.

Today’s Small Joys (March 2, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m struggling intensely today. I often say that these days are the best for gratitude lists, but I don’t feel capable of doing an entire ten things of thankful. Instead, I’m going to list some small pleasures from today. I’m joining Sunny Sunday.

1. Coffee. My staff brought me an extra cup of coffee when waking me up.

2. Crunchy muesli. I treated myself today.

3. Earning some top commenter achievements on Reddit. Don’t ask me how.

4. Beautiful weather: it was quite sunny and mild with a daytime high of 10°C.

5. A delicious burger at McDonald’s.

6. A hug from my spouse. In fact, the entire visit was good. Having my spouse on my side genuinely helps.

This was easier than I thought. In fact, the E-mail newsletter I got this idea from, suggested listing only one to three things and I made it to six.