Gratitude List (March 3, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m feeling a bit gloomy today, so I’m trying to cheer myself up with a gratitude list. As always, I’m joining Ten Things of Thankful (#TToT). I’m also joining Thankful Thursday, although it being Friday, I’m of course a day late. Better late than never, I guess. Here are my thankfuls.

1. I am grateful for my new laptop. My husband installed Windows and JAWS, my screen reader, on it last Saturday and brought the laptop here on Sunday. So far, I’ve not run into many problems.

2. I am grateful for my unicorn cookie/clay cutters. Like I mentioned a few times, these are a Valentine’s Day present from my husband. I haven’t used them yet, but I think I do like them.

3. I am grateful for some renewed creative inspiration. Too bad this doesn’t really translate into action yet. Here’s hoping it will. I’ve been thinking of restarting soap making again, for example.

4. I am grateful to be back in the reading groove.

5. I am grateful for sleep. Although early in the week, I didn’t sleep all that well, last night and the night before, I did meet my goal of getting eight hours of sleep according to my Apple Watch.

6. I am grateful for improving physical fitness and more walking.

7. I am grateful my orthopedic shoes are back from the umpteenth adjustment. Let’s hope they’re actually right now. So far, at least, I have been able to go for a short walk on them.

8. I am grateful for another nice visit from my mother-in-law yesterday. Normally, she visits on Tuesdays every other week, but we were supposed to have the meeting about my care situation yesterday. The meeting was canceled, but thankfully my mother-in-law visited me anyway.

9. I am grateful for French fries for lunch yesterday with my mother-in-law. And fried chicken. And a little salad. It was delicious!

10. I am grateful for a relatively quiet past few days in the care home I live in with respect to hardly any out-of-control fellow residents. Well, I heard one screaming just when my staff was leaving me after dinner, but it seems calm again.

11. On that note, I am grateful I got through my latest crisis, which involved self-harm, without sustaining major damage. I usually don’t suffer major physical wounds, but I know with my most used self-harm method, it could happen any day.

What are you grateful for?

The Wednesday HodgePodge (March 1, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s Wednesday again, so I’m joining the Wednesday HodgePodge yet again. Here goes.

1. Hello March! Is it coming in like a lion where you live? How do you feel when it rains?
I have no idea what the saying that March comes in like a lion means. Probably something about rain, given the next part of the question. If I’m correct, no, it doesn’t rain here. It’s cold though: 7°C at midday and -4°C at night.

I generally don’t like rainy weather, though I can handle it better than I used to like a year or two ago.

2. What’s something you’d like to do differently this week than the last? Explain.
Last week was better than this week has been so far, so honestly, I wouldn’t really change a thing.

3. March 1st is National Sunkist Citrus Day…do you drink orange juice? Orange, lemon, lime, tangerine, grapefruit…what’s your favorite citrus fruit? A dish you love with a citrus fruit as one of its key ingredients?
I don’t usually drink orange juice. It’s not that I don’t like it, but it’s not among my favorite drinks either. My favorite citrus fruit, if I have to choose one, is the tangerine. I honestly don’t care for anything citrussy except for its scent in essential oil blends.

4. What do you consider to be your culture. Elaborate.
This is a tough question. I don’t particularly associate with my native language (Dutch) or country for that matter. I initially wrote that I sort of consider myself European, but that’s not even true, since I do write in American-style English on my blog, for instance. The only thing that makes me more “European”, besides the obvious fact that the Netherlands is in Europe, is the fact that I’m quite progressive.

Then there are other identities. I am part of many communities online that consider themselves as having a specific culture, such as the autistic/neurodivergent community. I however don’t really associate with that as a culture either. These are more things that define my identity than my culture. These include my gender, race (although that’s a bit problematic for me to admit as a white person, but it’s true), etc.

5. Sum up your February in fifteen words or less.
Not good, but better than January.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
Wanted to share that my husband did bring the unicorn cookie/clay cutters that were supposed to be my Valentine’s Day present last Sunday. One is a rainbow, the next a unicorn head and one a unicorn. I haven’t yet had the chance to try them out.

Reading Wrap-Up (February 20, 2023) #IMWAYR

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I seem to finally have gotten back into the reading groove again. There are lots of books I have been trying to get through for literally years – think After the Cure by Deirdre Gould -, but the books I’m currently reading look like they’re going to get finished. At least, some of them. Since I’m a slow reader, I can’t just finish a book that I don’t really like. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me share what I’ve been reading. As usual, I’m joining #IMWAYR, which is short for “It’s Monday! What Are You Reading?” Here goes.

What I’m Currently Reading

Lots of books at once. First, I started reading Sapphire’s Special Power, the second installment in the Unicorn University series by Daisy Sunshine, a while ago. As regular readers of this blog know, I love love LOVE unicorns and my inner child indulges in reading about them. This is a chapter book, but not extremely easy-to-read.

Then, a few weeks ago, I randomly picked up The Marriage Protection Plan by Margaret Watson. This seems like a book I may have to either DNF or take forever to read, since it’s interesting, but not so extremely captivating that I can spend several hours a day, several days in a row reading it.

Last Thursday, Maggie Hartley’s latest foster care memoir, Where’s My Mummy?, came out and I bought it on Apple Books. I’ve been avidly reading it. When it dawned upon me what exactly it was about, I initially didn’t expect to like it as much as I liked her other foster care memoirs, but I’m liking it more and more the farther along I get.

Finally, today, I at last picked up Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender after the book having stared at me forever. After all, I had long felt that reading queer books is against the Christian faith. It may be, but so be it. I read what I want and a god who condemns people for who they are, is not a god I want to associate with.

What I Recently Finished Reading

Nothing. I’m really hoping to finish at least one of the books I’m currently reading this week though.

What I Think I’ll Read Next

I honestly don’t know. I literally have my virtual shelves stacked full of books I may want to read someday. If my inner child gets her way, I’m probably reading something about unicorns again. There are at least five more books in the Unicorn University series after the one I’m currently reading.

I’m also looking for any recommendations for adult lit to read. I’ve discovered I mostly like realistic fiction, such as Lisa Genova’s books (although I never read Still Alice).

Lastly, if anyone has any good recommendations for diversity-related books, that would be great. You know, queer, neurodivergent, BIPOC, etc. main characters. I’m really trying to read more inclusively.

What have you been reading?

Acrostic: Unicorns

Posted on by Astrid

Uniquely powerful,
naturally talented for magic,
imaginary, but so real,
created for my comfort.

On my journey to find joy,
right there beside me,
neighing happily,
shiny mane, silver hooves, sparkly horns…

I’ve always wanted to create a poem about unicorns. This was harder than I imagined it’d be, honestly. Of course, I usually write free verse, ie. jumbled thoughts randomly spread out over the page, or so it often is in my case. I wanted to do a specific poetry form this time, and even with an acrostic I could’ve gone with just random lines. Which these probably sound as to most more experienced poets, but oh well.

I’m including a picture of my latest polymer clay unicorn, which is just its head, as it’s a charm. The purple turned out much darker than the original color, but it’s still okay.

I’m joining dVerse and EarthWeal for their open link opportunities.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (February 15, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m once again joining the Wednesday HodgePodge today. Here goes.

1. Pantone’s color of the year for 2023 is Viva Magenta. Etsy’s color(s) of the year are indigo and honeycomb. Your thoughts? Would we find any of these three shades in your home or wardrobe? Is there a room in your house that needs painting this year? Will you do it yourself or hire out?
I don’t care for magenta and have no idea what color honeycomb is. I do love indigo. I do have magenta as a polymer clay color, but use it for mixing my own colors. For instance, I’m pretty sure magenta was in the color recipe for creating indigo I once read (although I’ve never tried it yet).

I have no idea whether any room in my and my husband’s house in Lobith needs painting. If it does, I guess my husband will do it.

2. Something you had to do recently that could be described “as exciting as watching paint dry”?
Try to condition my blue agate polymer clay. Though it was Fimo Soft, it was quite hard and crumbly. Doing the conditioning is a very repetitive process, which can be exciting if it yields results, but this time, it hardly did. I eventually gave up and chose another color.

3. Who would you most like to sit beside on a 10-hour flight? Tell us why? Have you ever taken a 10-hour flight?
My husband, of course. If I get bored of him talking about his latest special interest, I can just tell him I’m minding my own business and he won’t be disappointed. Oh wait, you can’t use mobile devices on flights. However, I can sleep on flights. Also, my husband would be the one I’d least easily get bored of sitting next to for ten hours anyway. I’ve never been on that long a flight. My longest (and first) one was 3 1/2 hours from Amsterdam to Moscow in 2000.

4. What’s something you did growing up that would get you into trouble?
Argue with my younger sister, throw temper tantrums, have meltdowns that were perceived as temper tantrums, engage in self-injurious behavior, but also general autistic weirdness. I’d get in trouble almost on a daily basis.

5. According to Google the top searches in 2022 were- Wordle, election results, Betty White, Queen Elizabeth, Bob Saget, Ukraine, Mega Millions, Powerball numbers, Anne Heche, and Jeffrey Dahmer.

Hmmm…what does this say about us? How many of these words did you search last year? What would you guess was your most “googled” word/phrase/question?
I think it just says that we search for what’s in the news currently (mostly). I mean, Ukraine and Queen Elizabeth were and I guess the election results refer to some election somewhere (no idea where). I saw the Jeffrey Dahmer thing too and think it relates to a movie about him which came out last year. Never heard of any of the other things.

I didn’t Google any of these things myself but did click through to the Jeffrey Dahmer Wikipedia article when it was trending on there.

My most searched for phrase on Google, no idea. On YouTube, probably something like “polymer clay unicorn”.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
My husband and I went to Apeldoorn on Sunday. At Hema, which my husband claims is his favorite store, we saw alien-style cookie cutters. My husband suggested they may be useful for polymer clay, if a bit large. I said that if they’d come in a unicorn shape, I’d get them.

Then yesterday when we were on the phone, he told me my Valentine’s present hadn’t yet arrived. I didn’t even really expect one, but I told him his Valentine’s present would soon go into the oven, as I had indeed finally managed to craft something. He then went on to guess (jokingly) that I’d baked him unicorn cookies, a particular brand of cookies that aren’t unicorn-shaped at all but that we keep talking about since I got them in my Christmas hamper. He then told me that, if I’d make cookies with my Valentine’s present, they’d automatically turn into unicorn cookies. So my guess is he found me some unicorn-shaped cutters. How cool!

Crafting Lately: My Latest Polymer Clay Unicorn, Yay!

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Here I am today finally ready to show you all my latest polymer clay unicorn. It wasn’t the last one I started – that would be the one in a lying-down position. Then again, I decided to put the clay for that one back in the packet because I didn’t like how flat its belly had become while lying on my oven-safe mat. This, instead, is the blue unicorn I’ve been talking about for weeks.

I started out by using ultramarine blue Premo for its body and head. Then, I created the legs in the same color, but added metallic silver Fimo Effect for the hooves. I always forget whether I do the mane and tail first or the ears first. This time, I think I initially did its ears first but then decided to do the mane first. These are done in blue agate Fimo Effect, as is its tail. The horn is done in metallic silver once again. Finally, for the eyes, I chose black Fimo Professional. I decided against doing an add-on nose this time, instead asking my staff to create nostrils with a dotting tool.

Usually, I have the mane run all over the unicorn’s back till where I’ll start the tail, but I had too short of a mane for this one. This was a great thing after all, as it gave me a reason to add Hotfix rhinestones to the unicorn’s back. I am so lucky, because someone from the Dutch polymer clay Facebook group sent me some samples and there in fact were blue ones among them.

I baked the unicorn at 130°C for 60 minutes. Possibly because of this, the blue agate Fimo is slightly darker than its original color.

After baking, I had my staff help me paint white dots in the unicorn’s eyes, as I usually do to make them look more alive.

This unicorn is only a slight creative detour from what I usually do, but I loved the entire process. I also am so happy because I did most of the creating independently.

Things That Made Me Smile (February 6, 2023) #WeeklySmile

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I had a rather difficult first half of my day. Slept rather poorly because of some worries about my care situation and, while trying to talk through my thoughts with a staff, got even more frustrated. The evening isn’t going great either: lots of random staff switches and a fellow client who spiraled into crisis when I was in the living room. What better time then the present to focus on the positives? As one of my teachers once said, you can only be happy once in your entire life and that’s right now. For this reason, I’m joining Trent’s #WeeklySmile. Here goes.

This afternoon, the new student staff took me on a walk. First, we went to the cafeteria in the main office building to get a hot cocoa for me and latte macchiato for her.

Then, we walked some more, while chatting about random things. At one point, we got to talking about positive thinking and she told me to throw all my negative thinking onto the nearby highway to be run over by trucks. I told her an elaborate story about how my husband, who is a truck driver, would run over all my negative ideas on his way to Hoorn, which is his default route, and catch unicorns for me while there to fly all positivity my way. After all, the symbol for the city of Hoorn is the unicorn.

Then we started singing children’s songs. I sang (well, in my out-of-key way) the English version of “The Wheels on the Bus” to her, while she taught me some modern Dutch children’s songs. We also remembered an older one that I happen to have sung at a Kindergarten contest.

The rest of the day was stressful once again, but I cherish this moment.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (February 4, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today, even though I’ve long had my last cup of coffee for the day. No soft drinks or vitamin water for me today either. In fact, I actually now realize I forgot to ask my one-on-one staff for chips this evening, which we usually get on Saturdays. Oh well, the scale will thank me (I hope). Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d confess that I still write “2022” rather than “2023” as the title of my coffee share posts and other dated posts regularly. I don’t think I did this for so long during previous years, but “2022” comes out so easily. Oh well.

If we were having coffee, I’d ask about your weather. Ours has been mixed. Early in the week, we had some rain, but later, we’ve had nice winter weather. Daytime temperatures have usually been at about 8°C.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that, yesterday, I got in almost two hours of exercise according to my Apple Watch, most walking and a little dancing. “Dancing”, in my book, is usually just walking with some arm swaying to the tune of some upbeat music. I got in over 13K steps. Today, I got in nearly 11K steps too.

If we were having coffee, I would share that, like I said in my post on Wednesday, the home’s kitchen renovations are over with. On Thursday, the living room furniture got moved back to its proper place. I notice I was almost used to the temporary arrangement.

If we were having coffee, I would proudly announce that the theme for this month’s challenge in the Dutch polymer clay Facebook group is unicorns. It was chosen in part by me. I am looking forward to showing the blue unicorn that’s been waiting to be cured in the oven since Tuesday.

After all, like I said last week, someone from that group sent me some Hotfix rhinestones to try to decorate my clay sculptures with. When they arrived on Tuesday, I immediately tried them on the blue unicorn. I can’t wait to show her, the group and the world. Let’s hope the rhinestones won’t fall off.

If we were having coffee, lastly I would tell you that I had another nice visit from my mother-in-law on Tuesday. We went to Burger King to have lunch. Our food was lukewarm by the time it arrived, but that’s almost to be expected with burger chains these days. We also went to an arts and crafts store, but I decided not to buy anything, as I was rather overloaded already.

See, I did it: I created a coffee share post without complaining about my care home situation. It isn’t because it’s better. Well, today is a pretty good day for once. Let’s celebrate that and be thankful. But still all please pray I can get out of here.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (January 28, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this last Saturday of January. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. It’s 9PM here, so I already had my last cup of coffee for the day about two hours ago. I also tasted a new drink I think I like: vitamin water. I am not under the impression that there’s all that many vitamins in it, but who cares? Anyway, let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, I’d start out by asking about your weather. Ours has been cold, with daytime temperatures barely above freezing point. It’s not been raining or snowing though and today in fact it was quite sunny.

If we were having coffee, I would ask how you all are doing. I’m still struggling in my care home. Last week (or the week before, I can’t remember), I hit another low point and my mother-in-law sent an E-mail to the behavior specialist telling her I basically don’t want to stay here. The behavior specialist was going to try to schedule a meeting between me, my mother-in-law, her, my assigned staff and the support coordinator, but I haven’t heard anything so far.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I’ve finally been working with polymer clay again. It’s been a while. On Wednesday, I created a bull’s eye cane. That was too frustrating for me and I nearly gave up on polymer clay altogether because of it. Thankfully, in the Dutch polymer clay group as well as an unrelated FB support group, people encouraged me to continue with what I can do well, which is sculpting. This helped me to get moving and create yet another unicorn. Oh well, it’s the same style as all my other unicorns, but I intend to decorate it with Hotfix rhinestones.

I originally intended to go to a store for Hotfix products near here with my mother-in-law on Tuesday. Then someone from the Dutch polymer clay Facebook group offered to send me some samples to try. That’s so kind of her!

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share that I haven’t had a healthy dinner all week. The reason is the fact that the care home’s kitchen is being renovated and so we can’t use it at all. The only day I had the option of a healthy dinner was today, but I can’t stand soup and certainly not pea soup. For clarity’s sake, there is a kitchen the staff can use at the day center, but all week except today they for whatever reason chose easy-to-whip-up but unhealthy alternatives such as pizza delivery, microwave pancakes or bread with Russian salad.

How have you been?

Joy in December

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all on this chilly, rainy last Friday of 2022. Today I’m sharing my last update on my word of the year, which is “JOY”. I’m joining the Word of the Year linky as well as Lisa’s One Word link-up.

The month of December started out with something that would have brought me exhilirating joy under different circumstances but brought just a weak smile to my face now: a visit from my two former day activities staff, complete with a full-on lunch buffet paid for by them. I honestly feel a bit guilty for possibly having ruined their meal with my talks of how much I was struggling in the care home. Then again, to be fair to myself, this was just a day after I’d hit the proverbial brick wall.

The next week saw some glimmers of hope, as my now assigned staff (yay, they finally assigned me a staff other than the support coordinator) convinced me to give a new day schedule a try. This finally gave me some opportunities for crafty activities.

Then on the 23rd, I had the meeting with my now assigned staff, the behavior specialist, my mother-in-law and the mediator. This again gave me some glimmers of hope.

Oh wait, “HOPE” wasn’t my word of the year for 2022. It was “JOY”. And I found joy even when the times were trying. A helpful resource in this has been a sheet of paper with two sides on it that I fill out each evening: on one side, I can list two things that didn’t go too well during the day, but on the other, I need to list two things that did go well. Yesterday’s things that did go well included several nice walks and having finished crafting a polymer clay unicorn. After giving it its finishing touches, I just gave the unicorn to my assigned staff, who for the most part helped me create it.

Overall, the month of December definitely included some important reasons for joy. I am also generally pleased with the word I chose as my word of the year. Even though later in the year it was quite a struggle to find joy, I liked to look for opportunities for it in the ordinary.