#WeekendCoffeeShare (August 14, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this blazing hot Friday. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. It’s 7:30PM as I start typing this post, so I’ve had my last cup of coffee for the day and will likely be off for a bit before publishing this post to have my evening soft drink and chips. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. Oh, I already disclosed that it’s blazing hot again. We’re on our fifth local heatwave this summer if I’m correct. Today, the daytime high was 36°C. Tomorrow we’re going to have a daytime high of “only” 27°C but it’s going to get humid. I always said summer is my favorite season, but now I’m pretty sure it’s not.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’m still meeting my movement goal on my Apple Watch each day this month so far despite the heat. One reason though is the fact that, yesterday, I rode the side-by-side bike to the next town despite it being at least 30°C. That, honestly, was a stupid decision.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I did quite a lot of culinary activities this past week. I finally made iced tea on Monday after having bought loose-leaf green tea on Sunday. I also made a smoothie yesterday and made a tuna salad on Wednesday. No picture, because when it was on my plate, I’d just had an argument with my best friend over my choice to eat dead animals again and this caused me to feel so bad that I didn’t feel like taking a picture. The reason she was upset, by the way, wasn’t necessarily the fact that I eat meat (though that’s a valid reason for her, being a vegan, too), but the fact that I’d told her a few months ago that I would be trying to go vegan when creating my own meals and she felt that I’d lied about my intentions. I hadn’t, but my method of “trying” felt insincere to her. Thankfully, we resolved the argument eventually.

Today, I did create a vegan dessert. I used mango, silken tofu and agave syrup. The staff who helped me make it, didn’t like the strong soy tang,, but I surprisingly didn’t mind. I didn’t particularly like the texture though, which is one more reason I really need to get a food processor.

Mango mousse

If we were having coffee, I’d share that there isn’t any news on the moving front and my Care and Force Act plans probably won’t be fully ready for a couple of weeks at least. After all, both my assigned staff and support coordinator are off until late August and the behavior specialist will be off right after them.

Speaking of which, somehow the orienting of a new staff got messed up yet again this week. My support coordinator had initially said that this staff would be oriented to the activities and ADLs and then we’d evaluate to see if she needed more orienting. A few weeks ago, she told me that the orienting to the activities would be postponed but there wouldn’t be an evaluation after her orientation to my ADLs. This reeks of the one chance policy and I’m horribly upset about it. On top of that, at the last moment the person doing the orienting got switched. Yes, again! I wouldn’t even have found out if I hadn’t inquired about it myself this afternoon. It went kind of okay, but this whole thing still frustrates me to no end.

Now the new staff is an experienced worker, but I have had similar problems with student staff. In late August, a new student staff will start working here and, though my support coordinator thinks she shouldn’t be oriented to me at first, some staff disagree. Besides, if she doesn’t get oriented to me during her introductory time here and the powers-that-be decide later on that she needs to work with me anyway, will we have the same issue we had with the last student as well as with the currently orienting staff, ie. that she isn’t working as an extra anymore? I have absolutely no trust in this entire process.

I’ll sign off now, because I sense that if I continue this will end up being a negative rant again. I’m going to have a cup of green tea now.

Spoiler Alert: Disabled People Are People!: Reflections on Involuntary Care

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all. As those who read my most recent post know, I had my Care and Force Act meeting yesterday. For those not familiar with this, this is the law governing when people with intellectual disability, dementia or brain injury can be subjected to “involuntary care”, such as restraint, seclusion and forced medication but also when restrictions can be placed on how a person lives their life. For example, it regulates the circumstances under which people can be prohibited from using electronics.

My own Care and Force Act plan only relates to measures like restraint, seclusion and forced medication. These three have more strict guidelines than other measures like prohibiting someone from using electronics. With these, it’s always “involuntary care” regardless of whether the person shows resistance or not. This is actually a reason I recently found out that my antidepressant prescription is “involuntary care”, because it does not follow medical protocols on when it should and should not be prescribed. This does not mean I will go off of it, by the way.

The meeting with the client confidante and my home’s behavior specialist went pretty well. I attended it without a staff, because at the last moment the staff who could attend it with me was switched and I didn’t like the one they assigned me.

The confidante however was quite critical, which I liked but the behavior specialist didn’t. There are three plans involving restrictive measures, all within the stricter category: two for restraint and one for seclusion. The one on my antidepressant hasn’t been written yet. I had E-mailed the behavior specialist in advance with a lot of feedback on the plans. Particularly, they were far too generic. For example, it is written in them that I can be restrained when in “high distress” and that this will prevent me becoming physically aggressive towards staff. The first part of this statement is horribly nonspecific and the second is frankly wrong: I actually rarely if ever become physical when not being restrained and the order is reversed, in that I am restrained first for verbal irritability and this leads to furhter aggression from me.

The behavior specialist got quite uncomfortable with the critical comments from the confidante. After all, she pretty much told it like it is: if I were to file a complaint, there’d likely be several grounds for it being upheld. She also quite clearly said that restraining or secluding someone without a proper plan is deprivation of liberty. I liked this validation, because it shows that well, just because I’m a client doesn’t mean the staff can do as they please. Actually, when the behavior specialist claimed this side of the home being locked isn’t for me (which I frankly believe isn’t true), the confidante quite bluntly suggested I get a key. This is unrealistic in my opinion, but it does show that staff can’t randomly be locking people in just for the sake of it.

Today, I had a horrible argument with the staff who’d been initially assigned to attend the meeting with me. It wasn’t even about me: another resident had eloped and she was threatening to refuse him access to his electronics after he was taken back here. I didn’t actually want to go into this client’s situation, as it’s honestly none of my business. All I wanted to do is raise awareness of the fact that just because someone is intellectually disabled doesn’t mean they don’t get to live their life as they want. This particular staff has a rather ableist attitude towards care, literally having told me that she gets to decide most things about me because she’s the staff. The reason for this comment was my telling her that we were going to take a shorter walk than she wanted. This is another example of the not-so-strict measures, because deciding that I have to take a certain walk is restricting me from living the way I want to live. Not that this particular situation would’ve been one I’d make a fuss of if not for the fact that I was literally in pain and had already been going on two longer walks that day.

Unfortunately, the Care and Force Act is a bit vague in terms of what does and does not count as involuntary care. For example, a home’s front door being locked at night doesn’t necessarily count, because it is not disproportionate and affects every client equally. That being said, there is some push towards open doors and I can see why. After all, like I said when a staff used as a reason for the front door being locked at all times that regular front doors are locked too, regular house residents have a key.

After digesting the meeting, I E-mailed the behavior specialist that I understand that it takes quite a drastic attitude change to actually fully validate this home’s client’s rights and that I don’t expect this to happen overnight (or before I move out of here). I however do want to make sure that we’re making progress and at the very least it doesn’t get worse.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (August 8, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. I initially wanted to write this post yesterday, but got distracted by a lot of other things. As I start typing this, it’s nearly 8:30PM, so I’ve had all of my drinks except for maybe soon a cup of tea. Feel free to grab a cup of your favorite beverage though and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s been hot for most of the week, but thankfully not blazing hot. My best friend says the weather trend is for temps to go down, but when I look at my iPhone’s Weather app, temps above 30°C are in the forecast again for next week. Night-time temps are lowering, thankfully. In fact, last night the temperature dropped to single digits. Unfortunately, it’s still too warm for my liking in my room at night.

If we were having coffee, next I’d tell you that due to the warm weather as well as overthinking, I haven’t been sleeping all that well lately. At least half of the nights this past week, I didn’t sleep until 3AM or later. Thankfully, last night I slept okay.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I did thankfully still meet my movement goal on my Apple Watch each day. Well, except for today so far, but I still have time. I find that biking feels less bothersome in hot weather than walking, probably because I ride an eBike. Our home’s side-by-side bike has been waiting to get fixed forever, but thankfully the nearby day center allowed us to borrow its bike. On that one, I rode to the next town twice.

Once, I bought some supplies for making iced tea. I bought a large tea container and an ice cube tray. The staff bought jugs. I also finally bought a water bottle, because I want to hydrate more. I don’t have loose-leaf tea yet, so no iced tea has been made so far.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I did engage in a few culinary activities this week. Like I shared on Wednesday, I made a cabbage and potato dish for my side of the home.

Today, I made a no-bake cheesecake. I’d always somehow believed that no-bake is easier than baking, but it’s not. I spent over an hour trying to make the bottom, then struggled with the filling layer too. I in part blame the recipe, which wasn’t nearly detailed enough for my needs and said we needed to make the bottom in a blender. I have been saying I want to buy a food processor for months but never got down to it. Now I honestly wish I’d had one. In the end, we made the dough using a stick mixer. The cheesecake turned out quite good after all, but I certainly will get myself a food processor soon.

Cheesecake
Another photo of the cheesecake
Slice of cheesecake

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I finally saw the results of my bloodwork on Monday. I’d had my annual blood test several weeks prior and have had access to my medical records for a few weeks too but somehow the GP hadn’t given me access to this part of the records. Everything was within the normal range except for a measure of kidney function that’s always low for me. My egfr was 67 this time. I in part blame the hot weather and my lack of proper hydration, so that’s why I have been wanting to hydrate more. I say this each summer, but hopefully with the water bottle I’ll finally get it done. My blood glucose, cholesterol and triglycerides were all excellent.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d share that, on Monday, I’ll have a meeting on my Care and Force Act plan, which details the circumstances under which I can be restrained, this home being locked, etc. I could write a novel on all the things I don’t like about the plan. I won’t now, because I want to end on a semi-positive note. Please wish me luck on the meeting.

Oh wait, if we were having coffee I’d share that I finally figured out a way to display my images in a gallery while still accessible with my screen reader. Please share any (gentle) feedback with me on how this looks visually.

Testing, Testing… In So Many Ways…

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today I’m once again joining in with Esther’s writing prompt. The word this week is “test”. I could, like I’ve done so many times, rant about the use and misuse of testing in education and care. I mean, everyone who’s followed my blog for some time knows about the nearly thirty-year-old, horribly flawed IQ score still in my care plan today. However, I recently saw the housing profile that will be used in finding me a more suitable place and it thankfully never mentions my IQ.

There are, of course, many other meanings to the word “test”. It could refer to something new you’re trying. For example, today I cooked a cabbage and mashed potato dish. It was the first time I cooked something with mashed potatoes (or boiled potatoes in general, for that matter). When I mashed the cabbage/potato mixture, it sounded horribly soggy, so I almost threw out the entire pot. Thankfully, a staff convinced me to let it sit and see if I and/or my fellow residents would like it regardless. Turns out that, though the texture was too smooth for my liking, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I’d expected.

On Monday, I also took out my AirPods to test if they still worked. My best friend had cleaned them several months ago and I was too impatient to let them properly dry. Turns out my right earbud was ruined, though the left one still works. I have been using headphones ever since, but don’t particularly like the feel of headphones on my ears. I do have earbuds, but cannot use those to make phone calls.

This got me thinking of finally buying new AirPods. Browsing the Apple Store online sent me down a rabbit hole of thinking I might want to buy a Macbook again. I had one for about six months in 2019, but struggled to get used to it. The thing is though, I bought that one without researching it properly first because my previous Windows laptop had been near-dead for several months and health insurance wouldn’t pay for me to get JAWS for Windows. JAWS at the time didn’t have a subscription plan, so I’d have to pay like €1000 for just a screen reader. That didn’t make sense to me, so I spent this money on a new Macbook. Six months later, insurance changed its mind and I couldn’t wait to buy a Windows laptop again. I sold my Macbook to my then mother-in-law. Now that my Windows laptop is still working and, besides, I do get annual JAWS upgrades, I have more time to actually orient myself before making a choice.

My best friend was a bit worried when I mentioned the idea of buying a Macbook, because well she doesn’t want me to get overly stressed about it like I was in 2019. That being said, Windows has near-weekly updates that change things around, so I’m more used to adjusting to changes in my tech than I was back then. We’ll see where this goes…

July 2026 In Review

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s the last day of the month and this means it’s time for my monthly recap. July was most of all a hot month weather-wise. It had its highs and lows, but wasn’t as eventful as May or June had been. I consider that an okay thing.

The first half of the month was an uncertain time. I learned in mid-June that I was going to be moving out of this care home, but wasn’t sure of the details. I mean, for all I knew, I could be kicked out to a crisis unit or onto the streets.

It didn’t help that my aggressive behavior got a bit worse in early July. I had another major incident on July 10, in which among other things I told a staff she’d be facing a complaint. I never followed through, because she backed down with her restraint quite quickly. Later, I was told that the way the situation escalated would’ve in fact warranted me being restrained. I’m not entirely sure how much my support coordinator, who told me this, knew about the order of events, because well cause and effect were reversed: I spiraled out of control after the staff tried to restrain me, not the other way around. This particular staff has quite a harsh support approach, so I maintain that it need not have escalated into a restraint-worthy situation.

I will finally have a meeting to discuss my Care and Force Act plan on August 10. My support coordinator will be off work then, but the behavior specialist will attend, as will an independent client confidante. I will hopefully be able to make it crystal clear then that restraint is not a way to de-escalate a situation for me nor is it something that’ll teach me a lesson. Rather, its purpose is solely to keep me from causing significant harm to myself or others.

On July 16, I finally met with the behavior specialist, team leader and my support coordinator and assigned staff to discuss my moving out of this care home. It turned out that there are no plans of single-handedly terminating my care. As I read my housing profile, which will be sent on to the care finding people, I did realize that for some staff, the situation is however rather urgent. It isn’t like this surprises me, but it does kind of contradict the rather fluffy letter I received from the behavior specialist on July 16.

Today, I received a phone call from independent client support. The agency the substitute behavior specialist had recommended, didn’t feel like they could help me, but the one with the client confidante on involuntary care did. I was happy to find out that the same client supporter I’d spoken with several years ago regarding my move from the intensive support home to my current care home, was able to pick up my case.

In other news, today my now ex-wife and I received the letter that our divorce has been finalized. This means we’ll probably soon be talking selling the house. Otherwise, it doesn’t change much.

Over the month of July, I did engage in a few crafty and culinary activities. On Wednesday, I cooked the absolute blandest pasta pesto ever. I cooked it for my fellow residents too, but was so underwhelmed with the result myself that I didn’t even care to ask whether the others liked it. This did motivate me to learn more about the details of cooking beyond blindly following recipes.

Gratitude List (July 28, 2026) #TToT

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I used to participate in the Ten Things of Thankful blog hop regularly, but since the original blog on which it was hosted was abandoned in favor of a number of individual hosts’ blogs, I struggled to find it and, when I did, was often too late to join in. Now I’m still on time (though barely) and would like to share my gratefuls. It feels odd doing this on a Tuesday, but oh well. I’m doing this post in the classic editor because I struggle with lists in the block editor.

1. I’m grateful for my best friend. As regular readers of this blog know, the past year or two has seen a lot of change in our relationship, in that we used to be married. The divorce isn’t completely final yet, but that should happen this week or the next. I’m grateful though that, despite no longer being a couple, we still call each other almost daily and see each other several times a month.

2. I’m grateful for banana bread. I baked a vegan version last Saturday and my best friend and I got a small slice of banana bread (also vegan I believe) with our coffees at a coffee shop in Deventer last Sunday. I think the coffee shop one was better, though my own banana bread was also much better than all the other versions I’d baked before.

3. I’m grateful I was able to use up the leftover almond milk from the banana bread before it expired. I needed only 75ml for the banana bread and had a 1l container. I used the rest for smoothies today.

4. I’m grateful both of my smoothies turned out good. One was an espresso-based smoothie and the other, I just made using whatever I thought of: frozen mangoes, almond milk of course, chia seeds and a bit of honey.

5. I’m grateful for a tiny bit of crafty inspiration again. I started on some polymer clay earrings again yesterday.

6. I’m grateful all ingredients for the pasta I’m going to make for myself and my fellow residents tomorrow did arrive. The institution’s grocery service can be hit or miss, but this time, everything came in.

7. I’m grateful for good weather. Tomorrow’s supposed to be hot and it’s still horribly dry, but oh well.

8. I’m grateful for a new denim skirt. I’d never worn denim skirts before, but it’s nice. Also grateful for my size. As regular readers might know, I used to be obese. Since I’m also short, it’s hard enough finding fitting clothes in my size now that I’m at a (nearly) healthy weight, but it used to be near impossible unless I wanted horribly baggy sweaters and pants.

9. I’m grateful a staff braided my hair yesterday. Too bad I didn’t take a selfie.

10. I’m grateful for sleep. It’s been a struggle lately, but I do appreciate all the rest I can get.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (July 24, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. I’ve had my last cup of coffee for the day, as usual. I’m soon stepping back to put on my pajamas. Usually I shower on Friday evenings, but today there’s no staff who’s able to assist me. I’ll also take a break for my 8PM meds and evening soft drink. If you’d like to grab a cup of your favorite hot or cold beverage, feel free to and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first as always I’d talk about the weather. It’s been pretty good: partly cloudy with occasional rain and daytime temps around 22°C. We’re supposed to get some warmer weather again next week with daytime temps getting as high as 33°C on Thursday I believe.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that some days, I’m able to get in quite a bit of walking again. My toe still hurts a little, but I was able to go off the naproxen and use just paracetamol now. Due to some stupid miscommunication, I’m now officially prescribed both naproxen and paracetamol, but I just refuse the naproxen.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I’m still struggling majorly with feelings of self-doubt, worthlessness and anxiety. I am quite scared that my extra support hours will be cut. It doesn’t help that there’s major talk in the media about autonomy-based policy, which is an approach populated for people (particularly young women) with chronic, serious suicide or self-harm risk. The idea is that these people need to call for help in preventing self-harm or suicide rather than use these behaviors as a cry for attention. I can see the idea behind it, but it only works if these people actually do get the help they need in preventing harmful behaviors. Since one of the prerequisites is that help needs to be gradually reduced, I can’t honestly see it working for everyone. I mean, I’d love to gradually have my support decreased, but the pressure of it only causes me further problems. Now I’m too old to be a candidate for the official thing and I’m not even in mental health treatment, but the whole idea majorly triggers me. One of the psychiatrists behind this approach does say it’s not the same as leaving patients to fend for themselves, but that’s exactly how it can be used if the pressure from the higher-ups (up to the government) increases. The term didn’t exist in 2017, but if it had, it’d been exactly the code bluff my treatment team would’ve used for doing what they did, ie. kick me out of the psych hospital after nearly a decade with next to no support.

If we were having coffee, I’d end on a positive note by sharing that I cooked pasta for myself again on Wednesday. I used eggplant, capers and olives and it was a completely vegan dish, so I reckoned my fellow residents wouldn’t like it. I however did. That being said, my staff said the eggplant had turned a little greyish. It tasted fine though.

I’m generally more interested in learning about vegan cooking anyway. Not that I will be a vegan or even vegetarian, but I’d like to be a little more conscious of what I eat and also experiment with different ingredients. For this reason, I’ve been adding some more cookbooks to my collection, downloaded off Bookshare. One of them had vegan banana bread in it. I however struggle a little with using the recipes in my Voice Dream Reader app. Then I came across a vegan website that also included a banana bread recipe. I’m going to try to bake that one tomorrow. If it’s good, I told my best friend I’ll leave her a slice.

A Gratitude Letter to My Paternal Grandfather

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I really want to write more and also to cherish the positives in my life, both past and present. For this reason, I opened the Gratitude app on my iPhone and had the journal feature give me a prompt. It was to write a gratitude letter to one of my grandparents. I have shared quite a few times how my paternal grandmother positively impacted my life. I could write her a gratitude letter and I may do so later on, but for today, I’m choosing to write one to my paternal grandfather.

Dear Theo

It’s been over 23 years since you passed. If there’s an afterlife, I hope there’s a way for the divine to get this letter to you. If there isn’t, I know you’ll never read this, but it helps me personally to express my gratitude for you. I think you may not have noticed it, especially since your dementia was already advanced by the time it was diagnosed, but I felt deeply touched by you even during the last few years of your life.

Your eldest son, my father, may not appreciate this about you, but I realize I got my health-conscious mind from you. I mean, it didn’t always look good on you and my parents don’t like it in me either. You were worried about cognitive and physical decline for as long as I remember. My father thought you were an nagger. I see you had a zest for life that was maybe hidden beneath anxiety.

You also taught me to listen to my body. Not that I can do it well, but at least I’m not the one to decide I’d rather die than go see a doctor.

Of course, I didn’t know you when you were young. You were 61 when I was born. As such, I don’t know whether your zest-for-life-turned-to-anxiety was always there. My father doesn’t have it (yet), at least not the anxiety part. I do. Having seen my parents’ attitude towards you and now towards me, gives me the will to be conscious of what I want in life, including at the end of it. You never had that choice. Then again, I hope you didn’t experience decline when you were my age.

Lastly, I want to thank you for the apparently insignificant details of your visits. You know, the coins worth five guilders you gave me and my sister at the end of each visit. Once, you put them in a transparent container that was screwed tight and that we couldn’t open independently. I remember it frustrated me to no end, because I wanted my coin, for goodness’ sake. However, now that I’m an adult, this is one of my cherished memories of you.

With love, Astrid

#WeekendCoffeeShare (July 17, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all! I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare once again. It’s now 7:30PM, so I’ve had my last cup of coffee for the day. I need to take a shower in about half an hour, so will let my post sit for a bit then and return after I’ve had my medication and evening soft drink. Feel free to grab a cup of your favorite beverage and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. We were supposed to get another heatwave here this week. Thankfully, it wasn’t that bad, but only barely so. It’s incredibly dry though. Here’s hoping for rainy weather soon.

If we were having coffee, next I’d tell you I won’t be having a perfect month with respect to my movement goal on my Apple Watch. It’s not necessarily because of the weather. Rather, last week Wednesday, I stubbed my toe and it led to a small fracture. The staff who was here when it happened (in fact, I stubbed my toe on his shoe) initially thought it was just bruised. Unfortunately, I took this to mean I shouldn’t be nagging even though the next day and the next and over the weekend, my toe hurt like crazy. I ignored the pain and kept walking. Then on Sunday, the pain was so bad that I could barely walk outside at all, so the staff who was with me at the time, said we should ring the GP on Monday. The GP’s nurse practitioner came by on Tuesday and said I probably suffered a small fracture indeed. Since it’s my little toe, nothing can be done, but she did give me naproxen for pain relief. It’ll likely take several weeks for my toe to fully heal, but next week, hopefully I’ll be able to get by with just paracetamol.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I had a meeting with the behavior specialist, team leader, my assigned staff and support coordinator yesterday about the moving plans. It turns out they have no plans of actually kicking me out against my will. They just believe, like the substitute behavior specialist said about a month ago, that a place for people with brain injury may be more suitable for me. Whether finding me a suitable place is possible given my current care profile and the extra support hours etc., will have to be determined. It’s all quite scary, but I’m not as scared as I was before I had this meeting.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I also had a meeting with the intellectual disability physician on Monday. I went down another 1mg of my antipsychotic. I’m now on 6mg of aripiprazole. I can’t believe I was at one point, for many years in fact, taking 30mg.

We also discussed my getting access to my medical records. Thankfully, she gave me permission. The GP will have to sign me into the system though.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I didn’t cook last Saturday or Wednesday, but I did make another batch of granola on Wednesday. The reason I didn’t cook is the fact that I reasoned it’d be too hard for me given the stress of the two meetings I had. All this being said, I did help with preparing my own lunch by cutting up the vegetables I usually have as a side a few times. This was a good experience.

If we were having coffee, I’d share I did engage in a few creative activities over the past week. One involved making polymer clay earrings. The finished project didn’t satisfy me, but the process was fun.

I also created another unicorn-themed chalk pastel drawing. Can’t remember whether I shared this before, but one of the staff is incredibly creative and she at one point came up with this idea. I used a template for drawing the unicorn and of course I know my six-year-old niece can probably do it better than I can, but who cares? I’m more and more appreciating the fact that I can do something rather than focusing on what I can’t compared to non-disabled people.

This brings me to another creative adventure: photography. I’m hoping to soon take more pictures and to actually share them on the blog. I in fact subscribed to a few blogs that have photo prompts and am liking them a lot. I really would like to expand my creative horizons.

Care Professionals’ Behaviors That Anger Me

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today in her Sunday Poser, Sadje asks what angers us about other people’s behavior. I’m going to list some things that anger me about care professionals’ behavior specifically. Here goes.

  1. Care providers claiming they have clients’ best interest in mind. Of course, sometimes they do, but in reality, they have many more people’s interests to take into account. It isn’t feasible for a care provider to only have the client’s best interest in mind, of course, because well the client isn’t alone in this world. That’s life for everyone. But not acknowledging that it’s worse in care settings, is one reason staff continue to abuse their powers.
  2. Assuming clients are manipulative. I’m truly unsure of how this belief comes about. I have an inkling that most people in positions of power are at least somewhat manipulative themselves and it’s projecting their own actions onto others that causes them to assume clients are manipulating.
  3. Staff ignoring impairments that aren’t glaringly obvious. In my case, this is everything except for my blindness and, well, even that gets ignored at times.
  4. Professionals deciding what a “meaningful life” is for clients. There’s this support method for people with challenging behavior called Triple-C. In theory, it looks great, because the focus is on clients’ needs for trust, connection and a meaningful life rather than on the challenging behavior itself. However, it becomes harmful when it’s misused by staff to dictate what a meaningful life is like for clients. The words “normal life”and “meaningful life” are used almost interchangeably by certain people proclaiming to use this method. It’s not even wrong in itself, but it does become problematic when staff decide what a client’s priorities in this “normal life” should be.
  5. Care providers misusing the fact that they don’t scream at/hit/otherwise abuse clients as a reason why the client shouldn’t be displaying challenging behavior. I always respond by telling staff that I don’t drag them to another room when they’re annoying me either, so why do they do this to me?
  6. Care providers purposefully limiting clients’ choices just for the sake of it. I mean, yes, no-one has full control over how they live their lives, but it’s a lot worse in care settings and not because it should be.
  7. Care providers randomly invading clients’ spaces and treating the client’s space like their own home. For example, I still have to make most staff aware of the fact that they don’t get to randomly open and close my doors and windows without my permission. Yes, they can ask whether they can do this and I’ll usually give them permission when they explain why, but this isn’t their own space. Similarly, random staff blocking my way out of my room without it being a Care and Force Act agreement just because “they have to support me”, angers me to no end.
  8. Staff being overly friendly when we’ve just met. “Hi Astrid, how are you?” without even saying their name first. This is a relatively minor annoyance compared to the others, but in the intensive support home I’ve refused a temp worker entry to my room because he introduced himself as “your staff”. These are, interestingly, also usually staff who claim to like working with me even though they barely know me. They’ll ask a ton of questions but not disclose anything about themselves. Creepy!

All of these things boil down to staff not realizing (or not caring) that professionalism isn’t the same as being authoritarian. This distinction is incredibly hard to explain. For example, I’ve been to several staff’s homes and none of these staff I considered to be creepy. I think a staff who is overly businesslike can be as annoying as a staff who is overly amicable. Usually, interestingly, the bad kind of staff combine the two.