Trust and Trustworthiness

Hi all. Today’s topic for Tranquil Thursday is trust. This topic is relevant to my life in so many ways.

Maggie starts her post with a quote which says that, for there to be betrayal, there has to have been trust first. This hits home quite hard. As someone who was at least partly rejected by my parents from infancy on, I am not sure I even remember what it is like to have had that basic sense of trust babies need. It may be for this reason that I never felt particularly affected when family members passed away. Even with my maternal grandmother, with whom I was quite close, I never even felt a sense of grief.

Then again, I did feel this sense of grief when my former assigned staff back at my old care home left her job at the care agency in July of 2022. She was the first person I’d ever fully trusted in my entire life. There were others at that care home whom I trusted almost as much.

I am pretty sure I’ll never trust a professional ever again. Not because of this staff, mind you, but because of the way the staff here at my current care home handle the relationship they have with us residents. Several staff have left their jobs here without ever saying a word and then I didn’t find out until after they’d left. Yesterday a staff I’d repeatedly talked about this to, left as well and I only found out, from his colleague, at the beginning of his last shift.

You may be wondering where my spouse is in all this. Well, I do trust my spouse not to betray me – in the sense of leaving me, mistreating me, or the like -, but it’s only been over the past few months that I’ve been able to truly be myself around my partner.

I am, generally speaking, a very distrustful person. When someone enters my life, their first impression has to be really good for me to have a positive idea about them and, when they mess up, I feel very easily betrayed.

With respect to being trustworthy myself, I’m not sure. I don’t think I am very trustworthy, but it isn’t intentionally. I mean, often I struggle with distinguishing between safe and unsafe people and in this sense end up putting myself at risk as well as potentially betraying my spouse. I remember one time a fellow patient at the psych hospital offering to hold my hand when guiding me and he commented about our spouses not liking this if they saw it. I up till that point was cool with this man as a peer and I initially didn’t see the signs that I was firstly betraying my spouse and secondly also possibly being groomed.

In addition, I can be quite impulsive and dysregulated. I’ve told my spouse that I’m leaving too many times to count. I understand my spouse sees this as significant betrayal too. I know – and my spouse knows this too – that we are meant for each other, but still it probably comes across quite harsh.

April and May 2023 Reflections #WBOYC

Hi everyone. In April, I didn’t get to post my monthly reflections because I was too busy with the #AtoZChallenge. Today, for this reason, I’m doing reflections for both April and May. I’m linking up with What’s Been On Your Calendar? (#WBOYC).

Honestly, I don’t remember much of the month of April. It was a really busy month in a way with me participating in the #AtoZChallenge on my blog, which I badly wanted to complete despite struggling with my mental health. In other ways though, it was a boring month, in that I hardly got to do anything creative. I also felt like I had to train new staff almost on a daily basis. By this I mean the fact that, almost every day, the least familiar staff member would be assigned to me and they’d be left with just the instruction to follow my day schedule.

I did work on an activity list detailing steps for each activity I usually do, but this unfortunately didn’t bring me closer to actually exploring creative activities with not-so-familiar staff.

In late April, my mother-in-law sent the behavior specialist an E-mail expressing my distress with the unfamiliar staff situation, as well as with the fact that no-one had told me anything about any progress re finding me a more suitable care home. During the month of May, I’ve had some meetings on this topic, but nothing has been decided yet and I’m pretty skeptical anything will be decided anytime soon. That is, unless the powers-that-be decide no place can be found for me.

Thankfully, I did have the #AtoZChallenge to inspire me. I did, for this reason, write 31 posts.

The month of May was a mixed bag in many respects. It was better than April had been on the care front. This did help me feel better, but it wasn’t like I could actually bring my many ideas for activities into action.

In early May, I went clothes shopping with my support coordinator and assigned staff. That same day, another staff also took me to a nearby lake to go for a walk and take some pictures.


I did over the month of May in particular develop some renewed interests, for example in essential oils. I also still want to buy a new blender, so that I can make smoothies again. However, I haven’t yet decided on one specifically.

I went to my spouse’s and my house in Lobith at least twice during the months of April and May. Honestly, my marriage is stronger than ever and I’m so happy about it!

All this being said, in general I very much feel as though my life has been “on hold” over the past few months. Though I did often feel quite inspired, I didn’t know how to put these ideas into action. I can’t completely blame the care home, but the fact that no matter what the staff here do to improve my situation I’ll never trust them not to mess up again, does contribute.

In the health department, I did significantly improve, at least on those measures I know. I lost weight and currently weigh 57.4kg, which is within the healthy range for my height of 1.53m. I also for the first time today got a cardio fitness level of 25 on my Apple Watch, which is in the “below-average” range (until a few months ago, I was consistently in the “low” range). Next month or in July, I’m due to get my annual bloodwork done and I’m kind of worried about that, particularly my kidney function of course. I do overall feel quite healthy though.

Hello Monday (May 22, 2023)

Hi everyone. It’s been nearly a week since I touched the blog. Honestly, the week has been less than stellar, but the weekend was lovely. Let me share. I’m joining Hello Monday.

On Friday evening, I finally decided that, screw it, whether I’d get a staff whom I can trust to help me with my polymer clay or not, I wanted to clay. I put my clay box on the chair we don’t normally use, which did mean having to put several things that had been placed on top of the box on the floor. “Why is everything on the floor?” the staff asked me when entering my room. I replied that I wanted to create a polymer clay unicorn. “You do you,” the staff replied.

At first, she seemed rather uninterested and barely did the things I asked her up front to help me with. Eventually though, she did warm up to the idea of us working on a unicorn and she did give me feedback. The unicorn we created – and which I finished on Saturday morning with another staff – is the first one that has wings. It still needs to go in the oven and I intend to add glitter to the wings too.

On Saturday, I finished the unicorn, went for a walk and played a game of dice with a fellow resident here at the care home. Then, my spouse arrived to pick me up to drive to our house in Lobith. On the way there, we went into the carwash (€15 for a mediocre washing!) and got takeout Chinese food.

We had a relaxing evening at home. At around 10PM, my spouse suggested we go for a drive, as the car needed to be moved out of the street. After all, the town fair would be starting on Sunday and there’d be a procession going through our street. I forgot my passport, so we needed to stay in the Netherlands (Lobith is close by the German border). At one point, my spouse suggested we go to Burger King for ice cream, but it was closed. Next question: “Do we drive to Duiven to go to McDonald’s or go home to sleep?” I chose to go to McDonald’s. We each had a McFlurry. I had the Twix one with caramel sauce, which was lovely.

On Sunday, with the car out of the way, we could have a lie-in. I slept in until about 9:30AM.

Several weeks ago, I’d bought white jeans with my staff. I wore them for the first time on Sunday and at breakfast, they had coffee stains in them already. It looked rather gross (I’ll spare you my spouse’s description). For this reason, we decided to go clothes shopping yet again. We, like usual, went to Apeldoorn. I bought darker beige jeans.

We also stopped by Holland & Barrett, a wellness store, to look at nothing in particular. We left with six bottles of essential oils though. Initially, when looking at them, my spouse said: “Just tell me what you want, I’m not going to name them all, as they have everything.” I asked for clary sage. After looking for about ten minutes, my spouse at first concluded they didn’t have clary sage, then started naming some oils: “Clary sage, nutmeg, …” I said: “Clary sage, that’s the one I’m looking for!” I also got vanilla and jasmine oils. Don’t tell me these are usually either absolutes or oleoresins, not essential oils, I know. I am not sure about the quality of Holland & Barrett’s oils, but I don’t use them for any therapeutic benefits anyway. We also got a blend of roses and a blend of wildflowers just because one of my oils was one plus one free and the other was second at half price. Lastly, my spouse got rosemary.

We also obviously stopped by Backwerk to have lunch. I got a sausage roll.

In the evening, I started looking all over the Internet for blends to try with my new oils. Of course, I had had clary sage before, so only vanilla and jasmine were new, but I love all the possibilities. I created a blend in my diffuser this morning: equal amounts clary sage, vanilla, sandalwood and frankincense. This evening, I joked to my spouse that the blend made me high, because it’s so very calming. I love it though!

Hello Monday (May 8, 2023)

Hi everyone. My weekend was quite good, if a little hectic. I thought I’d share about it. I am linking up with Hello Monday.

On Saturday, I had a temp worker who was here for the first time as my one-on-one staff for most of the morning shift. Thankfully, I got along with him okay. This did mean I didn’t feel comfortable going on a walk, let alone working with clay or other crafty things. I did play a game of Yahtzee with a fellow resident in the morning. My weighted blanket was also finally put in the washing machine. I was a little worried that putting it in the dryer would damage it, but the staff told me he knew what he was doing. Thankfully, once I got back from Lobith on Sunday, I found out it was still intact.

In the afternoon, I got a new temp worker once again, but thankfully my spouse was here almost as soon as the evening shift started, so I didn’t have to deal with the temp worker long. We drove to my spouse’s and my house in Lobith, picking up groceries and Domino’s pizza along the way. I had the hot and spicy pizza with pepperoni, bell peppers, onions and jalapeños.

Because I hadn’t been walking all day on Saturday, I decided to do some dancing in the evening. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have reached my movement goal on my Apple Watch and I didn’t want to cheat by lowering it yet again (and I certainly didn’t want to break my 250-odd day streak).

On Sunday, we visited my in-laws for a bit. My mother-in-law and I went for a 40-minute walk through the village. In the evening, when I once again had a temp worker, but thankfully a somewhat familiar one, I went for two more 40-minute walks. Then, because I could, I danced some more. I finally doubled my movement goal on my Apple Watch for the first time in half a year.

Yesterday evening, I had a bit of an issue with my sister. I invited her to my birthday at the end of June, thinking that if I invited her now she would have plenty of time to make sure she actually could make it on one of the days my spouse and I are available. She got upset, because her and my youngest niece’s birthdays are first (this Saturday and on the 19th, respectively). She tried to ask me whether we would come over for her birthday too, which on the surface seems reasonable. However, being that she has both this weekend and the weekend after that planned pretty full with other family and, besides, we don’t do last-minute planning for trips that are this long (my sister and her family live over two hours away), I decided against it. According to my sister, the way it “works” in our family is everyone knows when our birthdays are and is welcome to come by, so it wasn’t like she should have invited me. Being the people pleaser that I am, I actually almost let her persuade me to allow her to ask her in-laws, whom I barely know, to pick me up when they would be visiting them on the 18th. Thankfully, my spouse intervened and told me that would be really unwise, since what if I have a meltdown either on the trip or when with my sister’s family? Finally, thankfully, it turned out she wasn’t really expecting us, but was just upset that I’d mentioned my birthday this close to hers. I can see her point.

Yesterday, as a side note, was my partner’s and my fifteenth anniversary of being a couple. I really feel pleased that we decided to “call it a relationship”back on May 7, 2008. We’ve overcome quite a few hurdles in those fifteen years, but I’m so happy that we’re stronger than ever together!

The Wednesday HodgePodge (April 26, 2023)

Hi everyone. It’s been a few weeks since I joined in with this meme, but today’s questions for the Wednesday HodgePodge appeal to me. Here goes.

1. April 26th is National Audubon Day, honoring John James Audubon, the French-American ornithologist, naturalist, and painter known for his detailed study and illustration of birds in their natural habitats. Do you have a bird feeder? Any birds in your home decor? Have you ever owned a pet bird? What’s your favorite bird?
I am pretty sure there’s a bird feeder on my terrace, but I didn’t place it there. It was here from before I moved to my current care home and I don’t place bird food in it either.

I don’t have any birds in my home decor, though I do like birds. I’ve never owned a bird as a pet, though one of my fellow residents does currently.

My favorite bird? My first thought goes to the blackbird. I am not really sure why though, as truthfully black isn’t even my favorite color anymore (and I have no idea whether blackbirds are actually black). I do like its sound though.

2. What’s something you took to “like a duck to water”?
Blogging for sure.

3. Empty nest, nest egg, proud as a peacock, free as a bird, birds of a feather flock together, or the early bird catches the worm…choose one and tell us how it currently applies to your life.
I’ll go with “empty nest”, even though none of these expressions really apply to me. I mean, I had to Google “nest egg”, but that’s unrelated to my life too. As a childfree person, I don’t think “empty nest” applies to me either, as I never even had eggs or young in the nest, but oh well. I do feel lonely and bored with not living with my family.

4. Pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, flax seeds, chia seeds, sesame seeds, poppy seeds…your favorite seed and a favorite food or dish made with that seed or topped with that seed? Have you tried all the seeds on the list? Any you don’t care for?
Yes, tried all of them and love them all. My favorite are chia seeds and I use them in my overnight oats as well as in my smoothies. I also used to always buy poppy seed bread when I lived at the independence training home (basically regular bread with poppy seeds on its crust).

5. Something in the past week that made you “happy as a lark”?
Nothing really. I have been quite depressed lately, but the visits from my mother-in-law yesterday and my husband on Sunday were a welcome distraction.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I’m off to try out the giant trampoline here at the institution in about half an hour. That hasn’t yet made me happy, but it’s definitely something I’m looking forward to. The physical therapist has to go with me to see how I do it, but he’s hoping it will help me loosen up my muscles in my back.

How I Like to Spend My Weekends

Hi everyone. Today I’m participating in Sadje’s Sunday Poser. She asks us whether, on weekends, we like to relax at home or prefer to go out. Since I prefer a combination of both, let me share how I usually like to spend my weekends.

On Saturday, most weekends, I stay at the institution (I still can’t really bring myself to call it staying “at home”). My day schedule isn’t any different then from other days, except that we get a treat with our coffee and soda and chips in the evening. I don’t tend to lie in on Saturdays either, because I feel it’d disrupt my circadian rhythm. Which, to be honest, is quite disrupted as it is from the naps I do take. This is not just a Saturday thing though.

Like I’ve probably mentioned before, my day schedule consists of activity slots intertwined with times when I don’t have support. During my activity slots, I usually go for walks, play card games or occasionally do some crafts. During my times without support, I prefer to chill out on my bed with some music on (which usually leads to me falling asleep) or to read.

Sundays are the exciting part of my week, as my husband then visits me. He generally arrives here at around 1PM. Most weekends, we drive to Apeldoorn to go to Backwerk, where we eat a sandwich or baguette. We also usually take a stroll through the city and go to Hema, a department store which is my husband’s favorite. Sometimes, we’ll go to other stores too. I usually arrive back at the institution at around 3:15PM.

Every once in a while, I’ll go to Lobith to spend the weekend. Usually in that case, my husband picks me up on Saturday at around 3PM and I am back at the institution on Sunday around noon. Even though I usually take my laptop with me, lately I haven’t really used it at all, as we were so comfortable relaxing on the couch together that I didn’t feel a need to retreat upstairs.

As for what I prefer, I really wish there were some difference in my day schedule between weekdays and weekends, but this somehow isn’t possible. Other than that, I like the combination of relaxing in my room and going out with my husband.

Hello Monday (April 3, 2023)

Hello everyone. I’m joining Hello Monday again this evening. Let me share about my weekend.

On Saturday, my assigned staff supported me for part of the morning. We made a melt and pour soap in the shape of a heart. Sadly, I don’t have a picture and I gave it to my husband. I added gold-colored mica powder to the soap and lavender and ylang ylang essential oils.

I also created an essential oil blend for in my diffuser. I used pink grapefruit, bergamot and ylang ylang essential oils in this blend.

I did ask my assigned staff to inquire about my orthopedic shoes. This has been an issue for at least two years: I started out with supportive insoles, then an ankle foot orthosis either with or without semi-orthopedic shoes and finally now orthopedic shoes, but they still don’t fit. The shoemaker is frustrated, wondering when they’ll finally be good enough. Well, when they fit. Honestly, I am skeptical about the method they used to create an image of my feet: not using putty for a “mold” but using an iPad to create digital images, a method they’d used on a client of my care agency for the first time. My guess is this method requires some level of understanding I don’t possess but am assumed to possess based on my expressive language. Anyway, I don’t care how much of a bother I am, but I’m not accepting the reality as it is now, ie. my needing to buy new regular shoes every two months due to them being damaged from the way I walk. If they can’t fit me for orthopedic shoes, they’ve got to find a way to fix my shoe issue some other way.

Saturday was a good day overall. I was supported by two staff – my assigned staff and another – I get along with very well during the morning shift and my day schedule wasn’t disrupted. For the evening shift, three out of four staff were staff I don’t really get along with and I ended up being supported by two of them. I didn’t mind though, as my day schedule wasn’t disrupted and I did get to do some activities I enjoy.

On Sunday, my husband came by for a visit and we drove to Apeldoorn to have lunch at Backwerk once again. I had a tuna baguette. Then we went into several shops, because I wanted to buy some new spring/summer clothes. Sorry, no pictures once again. I bought a blue, flowery skirt and three simple tops in black, white and blue.

Sunday evening was a bit hard. It started out well with the staff explaining to me who would be supporting me throughout the shift. This was repeated several times. Then, at 6PM, unexpectedly a staff who wasn’t supposed to come and whom I don’t get along with, showed up. I had a meltdown and eventually, after a bit of an explanation from the other staff and trying an activity for a few minutes, I chose alone time over time with him.

I also spent my weekend working on the #AtoZChallenge, of course. I don’t generally prepare my posts in advance, so I have lots of work to do on the day itself. I also discovered Reddit last week. That is, I had an account back in like 2008, but they changed things up a lot so that’s no longer valid. I love browsing Reddit now and commenting where I can. I haven’t created a post yet.

Overall, my weekend was mostly good with some negativity due to the unexpected staff change. For those not aware, I am autistic, so it isn’t just that I don’t get along with some staff, but if they’d told me in advance, I could have been prepared.

March 2023 Reflections #WBOYC

Hi everyone. It’s the last day of the month and this means I’m reflecting back on this month’s happenings. I’m joining What’s Been On Your Calendar? (#WBOYC). Here goes.

This month would have started with my having the meeting on my care on March 2, but it got postponed yet again for the third time. I did get a visit from my mother-in-law instead and we took a walk through a nice park. Here are a couple of pictures my mother-in-law took with her phone of a remembrance stone we saw there.



The next Sunday, my husband and I drove to Ikea in Zwolle, where I bought a stuffed orang-utan. I so far didn’t show it on the blog yet, so what better day to do this than today?

On the other Sundays, my husband and I drove to Apeldoorn to have lunch at Backwerk. We did try visiting another lunch cafe once at the recommendation of one of my staff, but literally all tables were dirty.

On March 17, I finally had the meeting on my care. The positive aspect was that the powers-that-be will be looking for another, hopefully more suitable care home for me. The negative aspect is the fact that, in the meantime, nothing will change. This had me spiral out of control quite a bit, which my staff feel frustrated with.

Last week, it led to a bit of a disagreement between me and my assigned staff, because she got frustrated with my negativity. The way she worded it, even if my day schedule doesn’t get disrupted and I’m supported by regular staff for the entire shift, I still find a reason to complain. I countered that this hadn’t happened in months. Even this morning, with three out of four staff being regular employees, the fourth staff supported me for most of the shift.

In the health department, I did pretty well. I finally saw the dietitian last week and we concluded I no longer need to lose weight. Not that weight loss ever was a priority for me, more like a welcome side effect of my healthier-for-me lifestyle. The fact that I’d lost weight rather rapidly over the past five months, meant I had to up my calorie intake to prevent further weight loss. I did gain a bit of weight in the first week on my new food plan, but then again I did eat fries once in that week and a large burger another day. I’m not stressing about the weight gain at all.

In other health news, my cardio fitness level according to my Apple Watch has declined slightly and is in the “low” range again, though just barely. My heart rate recovery, on the other hand, is steadily improving.

All this being said, I’m trying to embrace my body as it is and appreciate my health for what it is.

In the blogging department, I did quite poorly, having written only eleven posts including this one. I am not sure how I’m going to do with the April A to Z Challenge given this reality, but I trust I can do it.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (March 11, 2023)

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. I’m very early by my standards, having just had my afternoon coffee. I probably won’t finish this post till early evening though, since it’s nearly 3PM and I’m allowed another activity hour at 3:30. The coffee maker broke down last week. Then we got a new one yesterday – a really fancy one that can work with beans -, but it broke down today. Thankfully, the Senseo coffee maker still works. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, I’d first ask about your weather. We got snow this week. Like actual snow that remained on the ground. Yesterday was cold and snowy and icy. The rest of the week was mostly cloudy with some rain. Today is okay. We even got a little sunshine and the temperature climbed to 7°C.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I finally decided to contact an independent client supporter re my care situation on Tuesday. These are not affiliated with the care agency, but can help clients with their care plan or finding the right care. The person I spoke to on the phone, asked me a few questions and then would forward my info to a client supporter for my area. This person called me on Friday and we’ll have a phone appt on Wednesday. Unfortunately, somehow, her E-mail confirming the appt and giving me her details didn’t reach me, so I’m going to call her on Monday to let her know.

If we were having coffee, I’d let you all know I’ve decided a whole lot needs to happen if I want to actually stay at my current care home. After all, like I didn’t yet say in my previous coffee share post as I didn’t know back then but have written about since on the blog, the meeting between the behavior specialist, my assigned staff, mother-in-law and possibly me got canceled again on March 2 and has now been set for this coming Tuesday. Apparently, my support coordinator won’t be attending. However, since my last mentioning that I saw some potential for it to work out here and now, I’ve had a few really hard conversations with my assigned staff. These conversations made me feel as though there’s little or no room for improvement. In one of our last ones on my care situation, in which I’d pointed this out, she suggested I go back to living with my husband. This would have been an understandable question from someone who has no clue about my care needs. I’m in fact half expecting this question from the client supporter too. However, my assigned staff should know better. The fact that she – one of the staff who’s most accommodating to my needs – asked this question, to me underlines the fact that this care home’s staff are either clueless or careless about my needs, possibly both. I mean, she meant well and didn’t mean to push me. She said that, while living with my husband would no doubt be hard, so is living here for me. Her reasoning also was that, if she were to marry someone, she’d do so with the intention of living with them. Well, our intention for marriage was to prove to each other that we want to remain a couple for life, nothing more, nothing less.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that once again my exercising has declined over the past week. I in part blame the weather. However, yesterday I took up the courage and went up to another client’s room to ask her and her staff whether I could go on her stationary bike. Turns out it’s not her stationary bike at all, but the home’s. I went on the bike for only eight minutes (and four seconds, to be exact 😉). Today, I did go for two longer walks, totaling 73 exercise minutes on my Apple Watch.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d tell you I’ve picked up soap making again. My soaps aren’t great so far. I made a simple butterfly soap on Thursday fragranced with lemon and pink grapefruit essential oils. Yesterday, I made another butterfly with lavender and ylang ylang essential oils, but decided to add some mica powder too as a colorant. However, I had no idea yet how to add micas to melt and pour soap, so messed it up quite a bit by adding way too much mica and also adding it to a white rather than clear soap base, among other things. I guess one never stops learning.

How have you been?

Hello Monday (March 6, 2023)

Hi everyone. A few weeks ago, I discovered another great weekly linky called Hello Monday, in which bloggers share about their weekend. Since I didn’t join #WeekendCoffeeShare this past Saturday, I still have a lot to share about the weekend. Besides, Sunday afternoon was fun, so even if I had posted on Saturday, I could post again today. Let’s get started.

Saturday morning was kind of hard. A new staff was being introduced to me, so for the morning shift there were two staff people doing my one-on-one. I do appreciate the fact that they actually had him properly introduced to me rather than having me do all the explaining, like they did with the student staff, but it did lead to me overhearing them converse about stuff that they said wasn’t my business. Well, if it’s none of my business then why discuss it in my room with me sitting right there in the middle?

Saturday evening was slightly better, but Sunday morning was hard again. The staff assigned to be my one-on-one that day always complains of a sore arm when holding my arm to guide me when walking, but I can’t safely walk without a sighted guide and I struggle to hold onto someone’s arm too (which is the proper way of walking sighted guide). In this sense, I empathize with this staff. Being that he isn’t the crafty type either, we were quite limited in the activities we could do, so I eventually decided we’d go for a walk anyway.

After he left at just past eleven for my “time to rest” (his cringe-worthy term for time without one-on-one support), which normally doesn’t start until 11:30, I indeed had a little lie down, but had had it by 11:30 and decided to go into the living room to see the other clients and staff. I sat there while they had lunch (and I had a little bit too). I was going to have a visit from my husband at 1PM and we usually go out for lunch then. One of the staff directed us to clear up the table, while she herself remained seated. Granted, she was another client’s one-on-one and either that client can’t or won’t clear up. I can’t without someone assisting me either and my one-on-one was nowhere to be found, but thankfully another staff helped me.

When my husband came to pick me up, he drove randomly. At one point, he asked me where we were going. “Where are we?” I asked. He replied we were at highway A50, headed northward, in the middle of nowhere. Zwolle was the closest bigger city, so we decided to head there. We went to Ikea, where we looked around a little, tthen had fries with chicken (for me) and meatballs (for him). Then we saw these really cute soft toys. My husband pointed out an orangutan, which I immediately decided to buy. My husband wants me to name him after the monkey king in The Jungle Book and he wanted me to look up the song on our way back to the institution. Not that I remember that movie. I mean, I’ve probably seen parts of it, but we only had public television at home when I was a child. I think the monkey is called Louis.