Gratitude List (January 22, 2022) #TToT

Hi everyone. It’s time for another gratitude post. I’m struggling a little, but, as I’ve said many times before, this makes them all the more important. As usual, I’m joining in wiht Ten Things of Thankful (#TToT). Here goes.

1. I am grateful to have seen my husband on Sunday. We went to the Subway drive-through to get a sandwich. I chose a turkey one, to which my husband asked whether I took it because of my diet or because I was in the mood for turkey. “Both,” I replied.

2. I am grateful my mother-in-law visited me on Wednesday. We went for a drive around the nearby countryside and for a short walk in a nearby village.

3. I am grateful for muesli for breakfast. I am also grateful the dietitian allows me muesli with some nuts or raisins in it and it doesn’t have to be plain grain.

4. I am grateful for blueberries. When in the nearby village with my mother-in-law, we decided to get some groceries for her. I decided to get blueberries too.

5. I am grateful my dental chek-up last Wednesday was uneventful and, other than the fact that I have inflamed gums, everything was fine.

6. I am grateful for a good laugh with one of my staff on Thursday. I originally was anxious about her being my one-on-one that day, because a few weeks prior she’d triggered me with what she thought was encouragement of my independence. I thankfully talked it over with her and we then laughed our butts off at some silly jokes we were cracking.

7. I am grateful I am inspired to write on my blog. I still struggle to find the motivation to go on walks or to craft, but at least I’m writing almost everyday, sometimes twice a day.

8. I am grateful my nurse practitioner keeps trying to help me and takes me seriously despite how complicated I might be. I have been experiencing increased flashbacks to the time I spent in the psych hospital lately, but I try to remind myself my staff and my treatment team at mental health are different.

9. I am grateful it looks like the essential oils I ordered on Thursday, are on their way. I ordered with a company that doesn’t use the bank’s payment processing system, so I had to make my payment manually, then panicked worrying that I’d made a typeo somehow. Apparently not. Let’s hope the company isn’t altogether lying and will actually have shipped my essential oils.

10. I am grateful I’ve found the courage to experiment with essential oil blends that are slightly different from the ones I find online. For example, earlier I used tangerine rather than orange in a blend that otherwise contained cardamom and cinnamon. It smelled delicious!

What are you grateful for?

#WeekendCoffeeShare (July 31, 2021)

Hi all on this rainy Saturday. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again, although yet again it’s a bit late for coffee at 8:30PM. It’s odd in this respect that I start my coffee share paragraphs with “If we were having coffee…” even though I rarely offer you coffee. Oh well. Let’s have a drink anyway and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee (or any other drink, but it feels off to have to repeat that every paragraph), I’d share that I haven’t been doing as well in the walking department this week as I did last week. I reached my goal of 10K steps only once this week and on a few other days, struggled to get beyond 5K steps. My foot hasn’t been cooperating and neither has the weather. It’s been quite rainy most days, although I managed to get a walk in between showers almost everyday.

If we were having coffee, I would share that I have the kindest yet weirdest mother-in-law. Earlier in the week, I asked her to be on the lookout for fine sanding paper to use to sand and buff my polymer clay ornaments. Not only did she drive by three different hardware stores in search for it, but she eventually ordered it online at Bol.com, even though I could as easily have ordered it there. I’m so grateful but I also feel a bit off now.

If we were having coffee, I would share that I have a slight cold, so I didn’t go to Lobith yet again. The self-administered antigen test for coronavirus I took was negative. Still, I want to avoid giving my husband whatever virus I do have, especially with him just having been vaccinated and this meaning he can’t be reliably tested for COVID.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I made the most delicious chicken, curry and fruit salad with my one-on-one staff yesterday. It was great having this for lunch.

If we were having coffee, I’d use the rest of this post to blather on about polymer clay, I guess. This evening, I have been practising making ornaments as independently as possible. I can roll out pretty even bases to cut shapes out of now, as well as cut out the shapes. I am however not able to remove the clay ornament from my cutting board workspace without damaging it yet. However, I’m confident that I’ll learn.

What have you been up to?

Mother’s Day

Today is Mother’s Day in the United States as well as here in the Netherlands. I’ve seen lots of ads for it floating by for weeks. It’s probably been this way forever. That being said, I never quite paid much attention to Mother’s Day after getting out of elementary school. Back in the day we did the obligatory Mother’s Day crafts. Since my mother has her birthday in late April, she never quite cared (or we conditioned her not to).

I started caring again, at least a little, when I got out of the psychiatric hospital and started day activities at a center for people with intellectual disability. Most other clients still made crafty things for their mothers. I decided to join in and create something for my mother-in-law.

You see, I have never had the best relationship with my own mother. She no doubt loves me, but the way she expressed it when I was growing up is, well, kind of odd.

That plus my mother’s late April birthday means I never quite honored her for Mother’s Day. My mother-in-law though has her birthday in late November.

My own parents have always been big on independence. I understand, but they took it a bit too far given that I’m multiply-disabled. They pretty much left me to my own resources by the time I left high school at age nineteen.

My mother-in-law, on the other hand, has offered to be my informal representative with my care agency. This means that she’s invited to care plan meetings and would be appointed as my guardian should I ever become incapable of making my own decisions.

One time before I was dating my now husband, I too had to appoint an informal representative for a living facility I was on the waiting list for. I appointed my father, but wasn’t happy about it. I do trust my parents to leave me to my own resources, but I don’t trust them to be there when I actually do need them. What I mean is, I am confident that they won’t approve of restrictive care measures without my consent, but I am pretty sure they will rather advocate for me to be kicked out of care.

With my mother-in-law, I am pretty much on the same page. I am not sure she’s seen my current care plan, but she has talked about it in a way that suggests she knows and understands my need for intensive support. Even my husband doesn’t know some details she appears to be in the know about.

My husband jokingly calls my mother-in-law my adoptive mother. If adults can adopt a mother, that’s quite exactly her. I am glad to have her. And just in case you were wondering, yes, my own mother is happy for my mother-in-law to be my informal representative.