Things I’m Proud Of Myself For This Week

Posted on by Astrid

This week was a struggle in some ways, but it was also good. I have been dealing with a lot of fear of joy again. I also find it hard to take credit for things I do well in case it means people expect me to always do as well. To turn these negative convictions around and focus on the positive, I am listing some things I am proud of myself for this week. I am joining today’s Word of the Day Challenge, because the word happens to be “Proud”. Okay, that was what inspired me, so I need to give the creators of the challenge credit here. I am also joining in with #LifeThisWeek.

1. I am proud of the progress I am making with polymer clay. I have been practising making layered cookie cutter shapes and can now do them on pasta machine setting three at least with Fimo Professional pretty successfully. I am still learning with Fimo Soft, as that’s a bit too sticky for my liking.

2. I am proud of myself for having been relatively physically active despite some pain. I am not giving in to every little ache, but I’m not overdoing it either.

3. I am proud of myself for not having run away or become actually aggressive when a fellow client was screaming at full volume for like an hour last Thursday. I mean, like I mentioned before, I did become a little threatening, but I didn’t hurt her, the staff or myself.

4. I am proud of myself for having survived today’s trip to Ikea, with most things we needed being very hard to find or out of stock, without getting very distressed. I managed to get a dustbin as well as a desk, or rather, separate legs and a top. When we got to the storage department, we couldn’t find the desk top but there was another, very similar one in its place. I wasn’t sure we’d got the right one, but we asked the shopping assistant and it was the one we needed.

5. I am proud of myself for having lost the weight I’d gained last month again this month. I stepped onto the scales again this morning and am exactly 72kg now. Of course, my weight has been fluctuating anyway, but it’s not gone up significantly at least.

What are you proud of yourself for?

Gratitude List (July 30, 2021) #TToT

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all, happy Friday! I’m joining Ten Things of Thankful (#TToT) today with a gratitude post. Let’s get started.

1. I am so grateful my benefits arrived. Oh well, I spent a significant amount of money already on crafting supplies and my yearly premium subscription to Day One, a diary app. I have once again resolved not to make unnecessary expenses for at least a week. I am however grateful that, even if I do end up spending some money, I won’t go broke anytime within the foreseeable future.

2. I am grateful my staff try to find me things I need or want for free or at a heavily discounted price. For example, one staff was able to get a music pillow for just €1. Another staff gave me some cookie cutters and ziploc bags she didn’t use and her daughter’s old duvet cover. Oh, it feels off to say this right after I’ve told you about my spending my benefits money on crafting supplies.

3. I am grateful to retain my creative mojo. I have really been loving doing some crafts lately, particularly polymer clay and some jewelry-making too.

4. I am grateful that my creative juices flowing means I have something else to talk about online besides my disabilities and health conditions. I am truly loving perseverating on polymer clay in particular.

5. I am grateful for organized storage shelves. Okay, I think I decluttered them a month or so ago already, but with my new crafting supplies, I had to do it again. I’m really satisfied with the space I created without even too much throwing out.

6. I am grateful for pasta salad. My day activities staff and I made this for lunch on Tuesday and there was still some left on Wednesday.

7. I am grateful I haven’t gained any weight in the past week despite not walking as much and despite the pasta salad and other treats. In fact, I lost 200 grams.

8. I am grateful for a nice fill-in community psychiatric nurse. My regular CPN will be on vacation when I was originally next supposed to see her in two weeks, so the other one will fill in. She joined me and my regular CPN for our appointment on Wednesday and she seems nice.

9. I am grateful for a nice new student staff. She is already older, so it’s easier for me to trust her than the young interns.

10. I am grateful my husband is now fully vaccinated. He got his second shot yesterday and he seems to be doing okay.

What are you grateful for?

July 2021 Health and Wellness Update

Posted on by Astrid

Today, I’m not feeling too inspired to write. However, I said last month that I wanted to make health and wellness updates a monthly occurrence. Here goes.

Last month, I was worried about my kidney function. My nurse practitioner was since able to reassure me it was within the acceptable range. I since have stopped using the Water Reminder app, as it was being a bit of a nuisance having to fill out my fluid intake each time. However, I still make sure to drink plenty of water.

The fact that my kidney function is acceptable means I have been able to start the topiramate too. Thankfully, like I’ve said, I don’t experience any side effects.

I also found out last month that I don’t have a UTI. The doctor still isn’t sure what is causing my bladder pain. I for a while took the max dose of paracetamol plus naproxen twice daily. Thankfully, I have since been able to get the naproxen back to an as-needed prescription.

As of last Tuesday, my magnesium, which I’ve been taking for constipation for a few months now, has been upped. I myself thought I suffered with diarrhea, but my GP was able to see that it was a result of constipation really. I am really hoping this will work.

To be honest, with respect to lifestyle, I’m not too satisfied with how I’ve been doing over the past month. I am still struggling to make healthier breakfast and lunch choices. This week, I started having crackers for lunch, which I like far better than slices of bread. However, we didn’t have those until Wednesday and yesterday, we already had a special grill lunch.

I did make sure to eat some fruit at lunchtime each day as well as some slices of cucumber. Overall, combined with my relatively healthy choices from the meal delivery service menu, I did meet my five servings of fruit and veg each day.

I got weighed in again yesterday and, sadly, had gained 400 grams compared to last month. I am still within the acceptable to me weight range, but I do need to make sure I really watch my diet more carefully over the next month.

Exercise-wise, I’m not doing as well as I’d like to. I would really like to make it to 10K steps more regularly again. I do know the weather hasn’t been great, but I still have the elliptical and can dance in my room. I would also really like to make weight training a part of my routine again. That might take some more time though, as, well, I want so many things.

Overall, I feel okay about the things I can’t control, like the fact that my kidney function is within the acceptable range after all. However, I could really do better on things I can control, such as eating a healthier diet and exercising more.

Accomplishments for the Day (June 6, 2021)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone! I was feeling a little low this morning after a restless sleep. This afternoon, I felt even lower after I misinterpreted a comment from my husband about my (lack of) Bible knowledge as criticism. It thankfully wasn’t meant that way. Right now though, I am feeling quite accomplished. Let me share what things I achieved today.

1. Got showered and brushed my teeth and hair. Personal hygiene is a struggle of late, so I am very proud that I got these things accomplished.

2. Got weighed in. I had gained a little over a pound over the past few weeks, but I’m okay with that. After all, my diet hasn’t been too healthy lately. It could also still be the fact that I literally stuffed myself full of fries yesterday.

3. Made relatively healthy food choices. I mean, I had three meals that weren’t too unhealthy. For lunch, I had a grilled cheese sandwich at a sandwich place, but I don’t think it was very unhealthy. I had mini rolls for breakfast and my care facility’s meal service’s meal for dinner. I did have chips this evening, but I kept to one serving.

4. Broke my daily step record. This is the one thing that helped me move from feeling low to feeling accomplished. My old record was 20.2K steps. Now, I have walked 20.5K steps today. Only 200 more to go and I’ll have reached 100K steps in the past week.

5. Read my Bible. I signed up for the Bible in a Year E-mail service earlier this week. Because I had selected the start-to-finish reading plan, I’m now only at Genesis 21-23. Discussing my progress with my husband got me a bit discouraged. He recommended I, being a Christian, read the New Testament first, then got to recommend that if I read the Old Testament now anyway, I could start with Daniel. So I decided to read Daniel.

To get myself acquainted with the story, I got the Immersion Bible Studies book for Daniel, because I like Immersion. That study though combined Ezekiel with Daniel and I’m not intending on reading Ezekiel anytime soon. So I got a little confused and this further discouraged me.

Then I texted my husband in a bit of frustration. He thankfully replied that he had just meant that Daniel might be a more interesting story than most of the rest of the Old Testament. He wasn’t meaning to question my faith.! That lifted my mood again and encouraged me to study the Bible some more.

What have you accomplished today?

A Very Intense Tuesday

Posted on by Astrid

Wowah, it’s been quite the day! I awoke at 8AM from a nightmare. Thankfully it wasn’t about my current care facility. I got weighed in. Thankfully, despite all the treats the staff who left us left behind, I’d only gained 200 grams.

I then got dressed, got breakfast and then read some. When my day activities staff came, she said the hairdresser was here. Like I said last week, hair salons are allowed to open again, though I overheard a staff say this isn’t until tomorrow. Oh well. I don’t go to the hairdresser each time she visits the care facility, so wasn’t sure I’d go this time, especially at such short notice. I eventually decided to go anyway and she cut about 5cm off my hair.

Then I went for a walk. Once back home, I had to eat, because I’d have to leave for the dentist at noon. I wouldn’t have my appt till 1PM, but it’s about a 45-minute drive to the care agency’s main institution, where the dentist is.

The staff had only told me of my dentist’s appt yesterday, presumably so I wouldn’t worry. I didn’t really, but my anxiety went through the roof once the dentist was doing his job, despite my having taken a PRN Seroquel to calm my nerves. It wasn’t noticeable to the staff, as I practically froze.

I had to have two cavities filled. Both were underneath an existing filling. Despite the topical anesthetic, it did hurt a little. To be honest, one of the teeth still hurts. I also got some protecctive layer over one of my other teeth, which had receding gums and for this reason the root had become exposed. That thankfully didn’t hurt.

Once I was back at the care facility, I tried to rest, but couldn’t. The anesthetic was wearing off and it hurt pretty bad. I decided to do some reading. Then the orthopedic shoemaker visited. He had tried to widen my shoes, so that my AFO (ankle foot orthosis) and arch support both fit into it and I would still be able to get my foot into the shoe. It worked, so now I can start practising walking with my AFO in. In fact, I’m pretty sure I won’t have to practise, as the discomfort is already manageable.

Once the shoemaker was gone, it was time to have dinner. I then had a bit of a meltdown over dessert, or maybe because of the reason it was just a spoiled tantrum. I eventually calmed down though and was able to enjoy the rest of the evening.

I finally gave in and got myself a membership to the International Association for Journal Writing (IAJW). I was a member some years ago, but at the time rarely used the member benefits. Part of the reason is that I didn’t know how to work Zoom and the get-togethers are on there. I still don’t know how to use it, but I think I’ll learn quickly enough.

Now it’s past 8:30PM. I’m not tired yet, but maybe I should have an early night anyway. Tomorrow, my community psychiatric nurse will be here at 11AM. That should go okay. Overall, I’m doing pretty well.