#WeekendCoffeeShare (March 25, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. It’s past 9PM on the night before daylight saving time sets in, so no coffee for me. I just had an apple-and-cherry flavored Dubbelfrisss with my meds and a small bag of chips. I normally have those at 8PM on Saturdays, but was upset then. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d complain about the weather. Oh wait, how’s yours? Ours has been rainy and chilly for spring. I want sunshine!

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I’ve been struggling a lot over the past week. I was in a crisis on several occasions. I will spare you all the details but I’m not proud of my behavior. The triggers to my severe outbursts involved disruptions to my day schedule and unfamiliar temp workers being placed with me for my one-on-one support. However, I must admit I’ve been on edge almost all the time even when there were few disruptions to my day schedule. For example, today I got upset because my laundry was put through the washing and drying process twice and this means I haven’t been able to change into my pajamas yet, something I normally do around evening med time at 8PM. In this sense, I understand my assigned staff’s saying yesterday that even if there are no disruptions to my day schedule and I’m supported by super familiar staff all day, I still may get upset. Which, by the way, wasn’t the case today, but we got as close as possible: a familiar staff supported me for half the morning shift and from handover at 3:15PM up till dinnertime at 5PM. For which, by the way, I explicitly thanked said staff. I’m pretty sure I’ll hear that because I got upset at 8PM for a minor reason, by which time a relatively new staff was supporting me, apparently familiarity of staff isn’t the issue. And indeed, there is probably nothing that will prevent me from getting upset altogether, but that doesn’t mean that nothing can be done to prevent the most severe of crises.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I finally saw the dietitian on Wednesday. She’s the same dietitian I saw in my old care home. I had a good talk with her and the absolute best news is I no longer need to lose weight! Not that this ever was the goal to begin with, but I was obese when I started my healthier lifestyle journey with her in January of 2022. Now I’m at a healthy BMI. The dietitian made some recommendations for me to change my diet to get me from losing weight to weight maintenance. She’s also trying to talk my staff into getting me to choose my dinners from the meal service menu again, but I haven’t heard about that so either my assigned staff said no or that’s still up for debate. The reason the dietitian is trying to get me to choose from the menu is the fact that I’m quite a picky eater and, when I don’t like something, I’ll usually skip it and not be sure how to replace it. My eating disorder voice also often chimes in, saying that the fewer calories I eat at dinner the better.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d tell you I upped my movement goal on my Apple Watch from 300 to 330 calories per day. It’s a bit of a challenge to reach it, particularly now that the weather hasn’t permitted long walks most days. I did go on the stationary bike once (and planned on going onto it several more times but you know how it works with motivation to exercise). I did surpass my goal each day though.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (March 18, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. It’s nearly 9:30PM as I start writing this post, so I’ve long had my last coffee for the day. I’m afraid I only have water now. However, as this is a virtual coffee share, you can all grab your own beverages of choice. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d ask about your weather, like I normally do. Ours has been mixed, but usually pretty good. Yesterday and today, the temperature even climbed to 16°C.

If we were having coffee, I would say that yet again I haven’t been as physically active as I’d have liked this past week. However, either my sister doesn’t usually wear her Apple Watch or she isn’t as active either, as we’re “friends” on the Fitness app now and I’m more active than she is according to it.

Yesterday, the support coordinator did take me and two other clients on an hour-long walk, partly through uneven terrain. It was good.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I’m still struggling quite a bit. Like I wrote yesterday, we finally had the meeting on my care. It was mostly validating, but the bottom line is nothing will change in the short term.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that, because of this distressing situation, I’ve been in crisis quite a few times lately. I self-harmed a few times and today, I actually eloped from the care home and wandered around institution grounds for over an hour before the staff found me. I know this isn’t going to help my chances of going to a less behavior-oriented home, but I really can’t keep myself from spiraling out of control like this.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I bought another pair of headphones for like €330 and it turned out I don’t like them. I’d been wanting to buy them forever, but they don’t fit comfortably (are too large) and the noise canceling function isn’t as great as the reviewers say it is. It’s going to be returned.

If we were having coffee, I’d end on a positive note by saying today the support coordinator took me for a walk to the coffee bar (I know you English-speaking folks call it a “coffee shop” but I just can’t bring myself to use that phrase) here in town this afternoon. I had a black coffee and a piece of honey-walnut cake. It was delicious!

#WeekendCoffeeShare (March 11, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. I’m very early by my standards, having just had my afternoon coffee. I probably won’t finish this post till early evening though, since it’s nearly 3PM and I’m allowed another activity hour at 3:30. The coffee maker broke down last week. Then we got a new one yesterday – a really fancy one that can work with beans -, but it broke down today. Thankfully, the Senseo coffee maker still works. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, I’d first ask about your weather. We got snow this week. Like actual snow that remained on the ground. Yesterday was cold and snowy and icy. The rest of the week was mostly cloudy with some rain. Today is okay. We even got a little sunshine and the temperature climbed to 7°C.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I finally decided to contact an independent client supporter re my care situation on Tuesday. These are not affiliated with the care agency, but can help clients with their care plan or finding the right care. The person I spoke to on the phone, asked me a few questions and then would forward my info to a client supporter for my area. This person called me on Friday and we’ll have a phone appt on Wednesday. Unfortunately, somehow, her E-mail confirming the appt and giving me her details didn’t reach me, so I’m going to call her on Monday to let her know.

If we were having coffee, I’d let you all know I’ve decided a whole lot needs to happen if I want to actually stay at my current care home. After all, like I didn’t yet say in my previous coffee share post as I didn’t know back then but have written about since on the blog, the meeting between the behavior specialist, my assigned staff, mother-in-law and possibly me got canceled again on March 2 and has now been set for this coming Tuesday. Apparently, my support coordinator won’t be attending. However, since my last mentioning that I saw some potential for it to work out here and now, I’ve had a few really hard conversations with my assigned staff. These conversations made me feel as though there’s little or no room for improvement. In one of our last ones on my care situation, in which I’d pointed this out, she suggested I go back to living with my husband. This would have been an understandable question from someone who has no clue about my care needs. I’m in fact half expecting this question from the client supporter too. However, my assigned staff should know better. The fact that she – one of the staff who’s most accommodating to my needs – asked this question, to me underlines the fact that this care home’s staff are either clueless or careless about my needs, possibly both. I mean, she meant well and didn’t mean to push me. She said that, while living with my husband would no doubt be hard, so is living here for me. Her reasoning also was that, if she were to marry someone, she’d do so with the intention of living with them. Well, our intention for marriage was to prove to each other that we want to remain a couple for life, nothing more, nothing less.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that once again my exercising has declined over the past week. I in part blame the weather. However, yesterday I took up the courage and went up to another client’s room to ask her and her staff whether I could go on her stationary bike. Turns out it’s not her stationary bike at all, but the home’s. I went on the bike for only eight minutes (and four seconds, to be exact 😉). Today, I did go for two longer walks, totaling 73 exercise minutes on my Apple Watch.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d tell you I’ve picked up soap making again. My soaps aren’t great so far. I made a simple butterfly soap on Thursday fragranced with lemon and pink grapefruit essential oils. Yesterday, I made another butterfly with lavender and ylang ylang essential oils, but decided to add some mica powder too as a colorant. However, I had no idea yet how to add micas to melt and pour soap, so messed it up quite a bit by adding way too much mica and also adding it to a white rather than clear soap base, among other things. I guess one never stops learning.

How have you been?

#WeekendCoffeeShare (February 25, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this last Saturday of February. Can you believe we’ll be rolling into March this coming Wednesday already? I definitely can’t!

I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. I just had dinner, but probably won’t finish writing this post until after my evening coffee at 7PM, since it’s 5:45 and I have one-on-one for an hour in about fifteen minutes. I’m reminded, as I type this, that the other clients’ evening coffee got moved to 7:30, so I’m afraid you’ll have to be content with a Senseo coffee (and so do I). Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, I’d start out by asking about your weather, as usual. Ours has been mostly cloudy with some drizzling, but today it’s been sunny at least during the afternoon. Daytime temperatures rose to between 7°C (today, the coldest day of the week) and 11°C earlier in the week.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I didn’t do as well with my walking as I’d done last week, but on Tuesday, I did register 124 exercise minutes in a single day, all by walking. It wasn’t a record by any means, but it was the best I’ve done since moving to my current home.

I’m also trying to up my walking speed, because as of this week, I can see my trends on my Apple Watch and this is the downward trend that my Apple Watch claims is the easiest for me to turn around quickly.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’ve had a pretty good week in the care home overall. So much so, in fact, that, like I said yesterday, I’m not 100% decided I want to leave this home anymore. A lot depends on the outcome of the meeting with the behavior specialist, my support coordinator, assigned staff and mother-in-law next Thursday. In particular, I’m going to inquire about their ideas for me regarding day activities. Ideally, I could work towards going to a day center with part-time one-on-one support. After all, I’d really like to focus on having some actual day structure rather than having “time to rest” (some staff seriously use that term for my unsupported times) every hour at least.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I asked my assigned support staff to contact the doctor about the burning sensation on my back that I’d mentioned on Wednesday. The way things work here, she had to contact the institution nurse first. The nurse recommended we try some cetomacrogol cream. I think it might indeed be my eczema acting up again. To be honest, the cream isn’t really helping yet though.

If we were having coffee, lastly I would share that my laptop started acting up a little last week, so I ordered a new one. My old one, which I’m still typing this post on, is over 3 1/2 years old and has been used a lot during those years, so really it’s not at fault. The new one has Windows 11 on it, which I’ve been avoiding installing on the old one (assuming it could be installed at all). I really need to look into the differences so that I can familiarize myself with the new operating system before this laptop completely dies. Going to do that now, okay?

How have you been?

#WeekendCoffeeShare (February 18, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. It’s 5:35PM as I start writing this post. I probably won’t finish it until past seven, when I’ll have my last cup of coffee for the day. Care to join me? We also have pure green tea (so the kind without flavoring). We also probably have lemon-flavored green tea, but I don’t care for that. I did discover a new kind of green tea, Indian chai green, which I do love. It is loose-leaf tea, which I rarely have, but I think this one is quite good. I can brew you a cup of this too. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d ask about your weather, as I usually do. Ours has been mixed. Early in the week, we got some sunshine, but later, it’s been rainy. The daytime temperature usually rose to about 12°C.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that my mother-in-law, my assigned staff and my support coordinator were supposed to have a talk on Tuesday. I wasn’t invited and the goal of the meeting remained unclear to my mother-in-law until the last moment. Then, it was canceled because my support coordinator was off sick. My mother-in-law took the opportunity to make it clear that, if it’s up to me and her, the possibility of me moving out of this care home should be a serious topic of discussion at a rescheduled meeting. She also pointed out that she’d like the behavior specialist present. This meeting, all going well, has now been set for March 2. I’m not sure whether I’ll be allowed to attend too. I think I should, honestly.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that, instead of coming to the meeting, my mother-in-law paid me an extended visit. We drove to Apeldoorn, like we seem to do regularly, and had lunch. Then we went into several shops to buy some little presents for one of my mother-in-law’s coworkers at her volunteer job, who will be going into hospital soon. It was there that I discovered the Indian chai green tea. We also went into a supermarket so that I could buy rolled oats, raw nuts and some other things. I fully intended to make overnight oats with those rolled oats. I did try, but either used too much milk or did something else wrong, because there was a lot of milk that hadn’t been absorbed by the rolled oats.

If we were having coffee, I would share that I did end up crafting a Valentine’s Day present for my husband after all. It’s a polymer clay heart with an arrow in Premo cadmium red with a Fimo Effect metallic gold edge and the arrow is done in Premo white. I textured the back using a ball of tinfoil, which turned out rather ugly – uglier than it would’ve been with visible air bubbles, which texturing aims to prevent. Oh well, that means I learned something.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I weighed myself on Thursday, as I do each week, and I lost another 0.6kg. I have only 2kg to lose to be at a healthy BMI. I am still slightly worried that some physical health condition is causing me to lose weight, because to be honest I’m not minding my diet much at all and I’m not exercising excessively either. However, I did notice that my Apple Watch estimates my cardio fitness level has increased. It’s still “low”, as it’s always been, but is slowly creeping towards “below-average”.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share that I didn’t walk as much as I’d have liked over the past week. I signed up for a challenge with other Apple Watch users in an app called Challenges. The challenge ran from Monday through Friday. I started out doing quite well on Monday, starting with a walk to visit the institution’s petting zoo, which is about a 45-minute walk total. My feet hurt terribly after it. During the rest of the week, I didn’t do so well. I ended up 48th out of 88, which I’m okay with all things considered. I’d have liked to be in the top half.

By the way, while at the petting zoo, I took a picture of the goats. I didn’t get to actually pet them.

How have you been?

#WeekendCoffeeShare (February 11, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. As usual, I already had my last cup of coffee for the day, although I’m earlier writing my post than I was last week. I do have Dubbelfrisss, a slightly carbonated drink. The staff probably also have various kinds of soda. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, firstly I’d ask how your weather has been. Ours has been mostly sunny and not too cold. Today, the daytime temperature even climbed into the double digits and I wore my slightly less thick coat. Is there a word for that in English? In Dutch we call it a “tussenjas”, which literally translates to “in-between coat”.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I’ve been doing lots of walking over the past week. I loved it! I probably didn’t manage as many steps this week as I did last week, but that’s okay.

On one of my walks across institution grounds today, the staff spotted butterflies and flowers painted on the path. I couldn’t resist the urge to take pictures.


If we were having coffee, I would also tell you that I took a trip to the next town to go to Action, a discount store. I originally intended on just buying T-shirts, but ended up buying a lot more, as usual when I visit that store.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that my staff have been doing my hair several times this week. Today, my staff did a ponytail. On Thursday, the staff created two braids. I loved that look so much that I asked her to take a picture of me.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I’ve been obsessing over creating my own breakfasts. I’ve been looking into making overnight oats and smoothie bowls. This afternoon, when I told the staff about the idea, we tossed around ideas and finally decided to create a basic smoothie that evening. It just had non-fat vanilla custard, milk and banana in it, but it was delicious.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d announce that my support coordinator invited my mother-in-law and assigned staff to a meeting this coming Tuesday. I have no idea whether I’ve been invited too or what the goal for the meeting should be if I haven’t. I’m still pretty distrustful of this support coordinator and still feel this home isn’t suitable for me, even though the last couple of days have been okay. The reason that I still feel this home isn’t suitable is because it seems to be sheer luck when a day goes okay. I still wish to make it work, but I’ve pretty much lost hope that this home can truly provide what I need.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (February 4, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today, even though I’ve long had my last cup of coffee for the day. No soft drinks or vitamin water for me today either. In fact, I actually now realize I forgot to ask my one-on-one staff for chips this evening, which we usually get on Saturdays. Oh well, the scale will thank me (I hope). Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d confess that I still write “2022” rather than “2023” as the title of my coffee share posts and other dated posts regularly. I don’t think I did this for so long during previous years, but “2022” comes out so easily. Oh well.

If we were having coffee, I’d ask about your weather. Ours has been mixed. Early in the week, we had some rain, but later, we’ve had nice winter weather. Daytime temperatures have usually been at about 8°C.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that, yesterday, I got in almost two hours of exercise according to my Apple Watch, most walking and a little dancing. “Dancing”, in my book, is usually just walking with some arm swaying to the tune of some upbeat music. I got in over 13K steps. Today, I got in nearly 11K steps too.

If we were having coffee, I would share that, like I said in my post on Wednesday, the home’s kitchen renovations are over with. On Thursday, the living room furniture got moved back to its proper place. I notice I was almost used to the temporary arrangement.

If we were having coffee, I would proudly announce that the theme for this month’s challenge in the Dutch polymer clay Facebook group is unicorns. It was chosen in part by me. I am looking forward to showing the blue unicorn that’s been waiting to be cured in the oven since Tuesday.

After all, like I said last week, someone from that group sent me some Hotfix rhinestones to try to decorate my clay sculptures with. When they arrived on Tuesday, I immediately tried them on the blue unicorn. I can’t wait to show her, the group and the world. Let’s hope the rhinestones won’t fall off.

If we were having coffee, lastly I would tell you that I had another nice visit from my mother-in-law on Tuesday. We went to Burger King to have lunch. Our food was lukewarm by the time it arrived, but that’s almost to be expected with burger chains these days. We also went to an arts and crafts store, but I decided not to buy anything, as I was rather overloaded already.

See, I did it: I created a coffee share post without complaining about my care home situation. It isn’t because it’s better. Well, today is a pretty good day for once. Let’s celebrate that and be thankful. But still all please pray I can get out of here.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (January 28, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this last Saturday of January. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. It’s 9PM here, so I already had my last cup of coffee for the day about two hours ago. I also tasted a new drink I think I like: vitamin water. I am not under the impression that there’s all that many vitamins in it, but who cares? Anyway, let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, I’d start out by asking about your weather. Ours has been cold, with daytime temperatures barely above freezing point. It’s not been raining or snowing though and today in fact it was quite sunny.

If we were having coffee, I would ask how you all are doing. I’m still struggling in my care home. Last week (or the week before, I can’t remember), I hit another low point and my mother-in-law sent an E-mail to the behavior specialist telling her I basically don’t want to stay here. The behavior specialist was going to try to schedule a meeting between me, my mother-in-law, her, my assigned staff and the support coordinator, but I haven’t heard anything so far.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I’ve finally been working with polymer clay again. It’s been a while. On Wednesday, I created a bull’s eye cane. That was too frustrating for me and I nearly gave up on polymer clay altogether because of it. Thankfully, in the Dutch polymer clay group as well as an unrelated FB support group, people encouraged me to continue with what I can do well, which is sculpting. This helped me to get moving and create yet another unicorn. Oh well, it’s the same style as all my other unicorns, but I intend to decorate it with Hotfix rhinestones.

I originally intended to go to a store for Hotfix products near here with my mother-in-law on Tuesday. Then someone from the Dutch polymer clay Facebook group offered to send me some samples to try. That’s so kind of her!

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share that I haven’t had a healthy dinner all week. The reason is the fact that the care home’s kitchen is being renovated and so we can’t use it at all. The only day I had the option of a healthy dinner was today, but I can’t stand soup and certainly not pea soup. For clarity’s sake, there is a kitchen the staff can use at the day center, but all week except today they for whatever reason chose easy-to-whip-up but unhealthy alternatives such as pizza delivery, microwave pancakes or bread with Russian salad.

How have you been?

Gratitude List (January 7, 2023) #TToT

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I have been struggling a lot lately. I am not the only one in my home – last night, everyone was irritable at least. This among other things caused me a lot of anxiety. To counter these feelings, I’m doing a gratitude list. As usual, I’m joining in with Ten Things of Thankful. Here goes.

1. I am grateful I haven’t caught a cold or the flu (or COVID!) so far. Everyone around me seems to have come down with something. Though cases of coronavirus are on the rise generally too, it seems to be mostly the common cold or flu around here, thankfully.

2. I am grateful I am currently on track with the Bible-in-a-year plan I’m following. Okay, it’s been only a week so far and, though I hope I’ll continue to follow through with it for the entire year, I am not too confident in myself about staying on track. At least I don’t plan on quitting.

3. I am grateful for a visit from my mother-in-law last Tuesday. She initially didn’t plan on visiting this week but thankfully changed her mind because I was already struggling a bit.

4. I am grateful for licorice. I bought some when at the supermarket with my mother-in-law and thankfully put it in my basket in the storage room so that I cannot reach it by myself. For this reason, I still have some left.

5. I am grateful for French fries yesterday. A fellow resident had his birthday, so the staff went out to get us fries and a snack.

6. I am grateful my UTI has gone. Not that I notice any difference in my body’s signals – I wasn’t picking up that I had it and, when I thought I had figured out what its symptoms were, I figured it still wasn’t over. However, I’m glad it’s cleared.

7. I am grateful I was able to teach several staff how to play the card game mau-mau. It was fun.

8. I am grateful for relatively mild weather.

9. I am grateful that, when everyone was irritable and several of my fellow clients were in crisis at night yesterday, the support coordinator stayed in the home for the night. I am grateful that I slept okay’ish in spite of several clients being out of control in the middle of the night.

10. I am grateful a nice staff was my one-on-one staff this evening. I am also grateful another nice staff popped in to say hi every now and again. Lastly, I am grateful that, this evening, my day schedule wasn’t disrupted.

What are you grateful for?

Happy Homemaker Monday (December 26, 2022)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today I’m joining Happy Homemaker Monday. Okay, regular readers of this blog will know that I’m not a homemaker. However, my staff, particularly one of the student staff, are trying to get us clients at the care home more involved in the homemaking process. For example, coming in the new year, we may be able to actually help prepare our own meals once a week. (For those not aware, we do get home-cooked meals everyday here and I actually have reasonably good meal prep skills when supervised, but up till this point the staff always cook our meals because it’s quicker.) We will also get our own vegetable garden this spring.

Because we’re required to title our post “Happy Homemaker Monday” and Sandra never got back to me when I asked whether we’re actually required to be homemakers to participate, but the questions do speak to me, I’m not sure whether I’m actually allowed to link up. However, I’m just going to give it a try and if I get kicked off, so be it.

The weather: rainy most of the time and cloudy all of the time. I don’t like it, but am not sure which I find worse: this rainy but relatively mild winter weather or daytime temperatures below 0°C. Let’s just say I can’t wait for spring.

As I look outside my window: well, I have my curtains drawn as it’s evening here and I’m blind so can’t look out my window really. Oh well, I do have an outdoors light outside of my bedroom window which I can see when I have my curtains open and it’s dark outside, which it currently is. It’s probably not interesting enough for sighted people that you guys would want a picture though. Besides, no clue what setting I’d need to set my simple cellphone camera to in order to do this.

Right now I am: typing this blog post. I’m sitting at my desk in my living room. This is really the only place I can comfortably type.

Thinking and pondering: still worrying about my support coordinator doing away with everything agreed upon in the meeting we had on Friday about my care. I received the summary of what was discussed in my inbox on Saturday and it was indeed good. This means I wasn’t dreaming that everyone in the meeting at least said they were on my side. Still, my support coordinator is still on vacation and, even though several staff have been saying she can’t tear apart my day schedule, I’m still kind of worried. Planning to ask the other support coordinator for reassurance later this evening.

How I’m feeling: worried but grateful. Cautiously optimistic too.

On the breakfast plate: four slices of bread with chocolate spread. I normally eat two slices when I do eat bread, but I was in Lobith (at my and my husband’s house) and wasn’t sure I’d be back at the care home for lunch.

On the lunch plate: I had a currant bun and a regular, plain bun. I also had water and I really need to stay more hydrated.

On the dinner plate: I have absolutely no idea how to translate what we had for dinner into English. First, we had a “rundervink”, a kind of beef mince wrapped in bacon. We also had potato tarts. And the kind of salad we had, well, I’m clueless as to what it even was supposed to be. Truthfully, Christmassy (we celebrate Boxing Day as an additional Christmas day here) as it may have been, I didn’t like it. One of the positives about us clients being allowed to help meal prep, is that we finally get a real say in what we’re going to cook.

Listening to: the Healing Harps playlist on Spotify. Not currently – right now, like most of the time, I’m just hearing my text-to-speech software speak and the heating or something buzz -, but it’s the most recent interesting thing I listened to. I love it when trying to sleep or rest.

Watching: polymer clay tutorials on YouTube.

Reading: a Dutch collection of columns by a businesswoman turned special ed teacher. I just finished a book of stories by a Dutch ER doctor. I’m wanting to read more English-language collections of real-life stories too, but not sure where to start.

Around the house: did I even ever share here that my apartment at my current care home has a separate living room and bedroom? I also have a pretty large bathroom and a walk-in storage closet, as well as an enormous terrace. Now that it looks like I’m not going to look for another care home after all (at least not within the near future), I may want to look towards actually making my apartment into a home-like place. I really hope to learn to take better care of it in the new year, which includes keeping it relatively clean and organized but also nicely decorated.

To-do list: I don’t really do those and didn’t make any plans for the next day or even next hour until very recently due to the nature of my support here. Now, thanks to my improved care, I can start actually having a bit of a to-do list. On it currently is finishing the polymer clay unicorn I started crafting with my assigned staff on Friday.

What I’m creating: just cured some polymer clay bear-shaped pieces that I’ll turn into earrings later, as well as a number of beads (well, I’ll still need to drill the holes). This evening, I crafted a turtle out of polymer clay, which is still waiting to go in the oven until I can cure it together with the aforementioned unicorn.

I still have a lot of finished polymer clay creations I didn’t show you all too. My most recent one is the below snowman.

Bible Verse/Devotional/Prayer/Quote: I am struggling with my faith quite a bit lately, so here’s a space for me to pray. God, help me see Your presence. I’m struggling to feel Your nearness lately. Please help me realize that You are there for me even as I go through these hard times, or especially then, or… well, oh wait, that You are always there. In Jesus’ name, Amen.