The Wednesday Hodgepodge (January 17, 2024)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. This week’s Wednesday Hodgepodge is all Pooh-themed. How lovely! I can’t wait to read everyone else’s answers, but first I’ll write up my own.

1. On January 18th we commemorate A.A. Milne’s birthday. Milne is the author of the beloved classic Winnie the Pooh. In many ways Pooh represents innocence and simplicity. His optimism and ability to see beauty in everything reminds us to appreciate the little things. What are three little things you’re appreciating in mid-January?
Little things? Let me think. First, a visit from my mother-in-law. Second, a great bargain on a winter coat last Saturday. My spouse told me fall is the right time for buying a new winter coat, but I didn’t know back then that my old winter coat would get a tear in it in January. Thankfully, my new winter coat was not only on sale for just €30 but it was also much nicer than my old one. Third, phone calls with my spouse.

2. Piglet teaches us even the smallest of individuals can achieve big things with the proper amount of determination. How do your current responsibilities make you feel?
I feel pretty good about them. Sometimes, I feel ready to take on more responsibilities. We’ll have my care plan review on the 29th, so we’ll see what comes out of that.

3. Tigger is known for his enthusiasm and energy, his boundless joy and love of life. What’s something you’re interested in learning more about in this new year?
Too many things. I want to broaden my crafty horizons, learn more about personality-related topics such as the Enneagram, start cooking for my fellow residents, etc. Oh wait, the question was specific…

4. Eeyore, while a melancholy character, teaches us the importance of resilience and perseverance. How do you stay motivated and persevere in difficult circumstances.
I try to focus on self-care and also on positive activities that I enjoy. When I’m in a rut, I celebrate even the smallest of things I accomplish with respect to self-care.

5. Last thing you ate that was made with honey?
Not a food but a drink: a smoothie to which I added honey as a sweetener. I can’t remember the last thing with honey in it I actually ate. Maybe honey licorice, although that probably just has honey flavoring in it.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
No “Freezer Fiat” yet. For whatever reason, the license plate wasn’t ready yet, so we won’t get our new car till next week.

The Wednesday Hodgepodge (January 10, 2024)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Sorry for not having touched the blog in a few days. I really mean to blog more this year, but have been struggling a bit lately again so no inspiration. Today it’s time for the Wednesday Hodgepodge though, so this post should come relatively easily. Here goes.

1. What’s a change you’d like or need to make this year?
I’d like to taper at least one of my medications.

2. Break the ice, on thin ice, ice skating, tip of the iceberg, ice cold…which icy idiom applies to your life right now? Explain.
Ice cold. It’s been freezing for a couple of days now. It’s a dry frost though, so no need for people to remove ice from their cars. In the early mornings, the temperature dropped to -7°C with a real feel of -15°C.

3. What’s a project you’ve been putting off? Will you get to it this month? This year?
Decorate my room. I’m not sure I’ll get to it this month, but definitely this year.

4. Of the fruits that grow well in winter which ones have you tried? Which is your favorite?

pomegranates, clementines, persimmons, passion fruit, pears, grapefruit, lemons, pomelos, kumquats
I have tried about half of this list: pomegranates, pears, grapefruits, clementines, lemons and that’s it I think. I don’t really care for any of them, but if I have to choose one, I’ll go for clementines.

5. What do you think it means to be courageous?
I don’t really know. I think it includes standing up for oneself and others in the face of persecution. Then again, it could also include standing up for what’s right, but what’s “right” depends on your viewpoint. Like, I’m pretty sure half the Hodgepodge’ers wouldn’t feel included in my “all-inclusive” society because their values do not align with my purpose of inclusion. In this sense, courage is really not unrelated to one’s political or religious affiliation and whether someone is a hero or an idiot depends on whether you agree with them or not.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
On Saturday, my spouse will be visiting me after picking up the new car we’re getting. I can’t wait to sit in our “freezer Fiat”, as we’ve been jokingly calling it. We call our current car the “heat-up Micra”, as it has no air conditioning and is black and our previous car had broken heating so was ice cold in winter. The “freezer Fiat” will, thankfully, come with air conditioning.

December 2023 Reflections #WBOYC

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m early sharing my end-of-the-month reflections, because I’ll share a review of the entire year tomorrow or on Sunday and I just now felt inspired to write. As usual, I’m linking up with #WBOYC.

The month started out pretty good with my new, pretty much ideal day schedule having taken effect. I did worry slightly that it’d be taken away if I didn’t spend my every two-hour activity time slot in the afternoon actually working with polymer clay or doing some other long activity. Thankfully, so far, it’s not been changed.

Also early in the month, I started acting out a bit because I got assigned a temp worker due to a staffing rearrangement. I started constantly comparing myself to a client who doesn’t need to deal with temp workers. Finally though, I calmed down and asked my assigned staff to write in my signaling plan that staff focus on validating my feelings and needs rather than feeding my comparison trap.

In mid-December, I went on the lights tour (I called it “Christmas lights tour”, but it wasn’t actually specifically Christmassy) around town. I loved it but had to agree with the staff that going without my one-on-one wouldn’t have been an option.

Christmas itself was okay but overwhelming. My spouse and I spent Christmas day at my parents’, where my sister and her family were too. Dinner was a lot better than I expected. However, both my spouse and I were overwhelmed by my nieces and my spouse might’ve contracted whatever illness my sister was carrying (COVID, possibly).

We spent the afternoon after Christmas at my in-laws having a Christmassy lunch. I went for an hour-long walk with my mother-in-law that day.

Like I mentioned last week, the storm last week caused one of my institution staff to be hit by a falling tree. She unfortunately died. This was quite a scary experience to many people here, so I for one at least hardly went for walks all week. I finally found out how to check for weather warnings today, so was able to go on a walk (two, in fact) again. Thankfully, the areas with lots of trees now cannot be entered anyway.

I have been slightly more creative than I used to be over the past month. Stilll not as creative as I’d like to be, but I’m getting better. Projects included another polymer clay unicorn, a butterfly and a pineapple charm. Also a dolphin which hardly anyone sees as a dolphin. The worst insult it’s gotten is that it’s a mouse.

Polymer Clay Dolphin

In the health department, I did okay. I did gain 2kg over this past month, all within the last two weeks. However, I am still within the weight range I agreed upon with my dietitian and on the upper end of a healthy BMI. I did resolve to lose those 2kg eventually though, but it doesn’t have to be in two weeks.

I do have some pain in my lower abdomen. No UTI and a bladder scan was normal too. I guess that’s a positive thing.

Another positive thing, which I almost forgot to mention, is the fact that my one-on-one got renewed. Not just that, but the hours the agency had asked for, were granted. This means my care for now will definitely not be decreased, like I had feared. After all, until the renewal, the agency was paying for some hours itself and that couldn’t have lasted. Thankfully, the Care Office granted the full number of hours requested.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (December 20, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Another Wednesday, yay! I’m joining in with the Wednesday HodgePodge. Here goes.

1. Did you do more talking or more listening yesterday? Was it by choice or by necessity?
Talking. Honestly, even though I’m an introvert, I talk more than I listen generally. Maybe that technically makes me an ambivert, who knows?

2. Are you a tea drinker? Hot, cold, or both? Flavored? What do you like in your tea? Do you make Christmas tea this time of year? What time of day do you like to sip your tea?
I’m more of a coffee lover but I do drink tea occasionally. Usually hot. I mostly drink plain green tea, although I like some flavored green teas too, like coconut or cranberry. Nothing in my tea please. I’ve never made Christmas teas and have no idea what makes a tea specifically a Christmas tea. I usually drink my tea in the afternoon or evening.

3. What’s an activity you won’t try, an event you won’t attend, or an athletic challenge you won’t take part in not even for “all the tea in China”?
Marathon running. That is, most likely I will never run more than 100m at all and that can barely be considered running.

4. What’s something most people seem to love but is not “your cup of tea”?
Starbucks. And yes, I thought of that before I’d read Joyce’s answer. Like I said before, I went there twice and thought I sort of liked it the first time (because everyone apparently does). The second time though, both I and my spouse decided we definitely weren’t coming back.

Oh and romance novels. I am not sure whether I haven’t found the right kind yet but I think they’re all horribly cheesy, shallow and predictable, and it’s not like I need lots of twists in a book otherwise.

5. How does your family celebrate New Year’s Eve?
Uhm, we don’t? That is, as far as I know my spouse isn’t expecting me to come to our house for the occasion. Last year, though I did spend New Year’s Eve in Lobith, we went to bed before midnight.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I want to share some good news: my one-on-one got renewed! I don’t know any details yet, but according to my staff everything will stay the same with respect to my care.

Sunny Sunday (December 17, 2023): A Good Day!

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today I was writing another post, which I’ve since scheduled for tomorrow, but instead of sharing that decided to join in on Sunny Sunday. Today was a good day. Let me share what made today good.

First off, the weather. As I opened my phone this morning, I saw a weather report, which I didn’t read, but the headline said it was “ideal walking weather”. It was a little cold in the morning, but that’s only to be expected in December (I guess there’s a reason I was born in the summer, ha). However, later in the day, the sun peeked through the clouds and the daytime temperature rose to 10°C.

I decided to follow the headline’s advice and go for an hour-long walk. In the morning, I was supported by the most familiar to me staff member, which was awesome. I am so grateful she supported me rather than leaving me to be supported by the temp worker or very young and inexperienced new male staff.

In the afternoon, my spouse came by for a visit. I said that I was thinking of buying another case for my phone, since the one I’d gotten was too rigid. I am grateful to share my spouse showed me how to properly fold the back of the case.

In the evening, I had lots of fun crafting with clay. I created a butterfly pendant.

Overall, today was a pretty joy-filled day. It was also a productive day. After all, I had a shower in the morning and washed my hair, rearranged my Day One journals’ content, and have been spending the evening online reading and writing blog posts.

I of course could think of reasons why today wasn’t perfect, but no-one needs a perfect day. All we need is a little joy and sunshine in our life.

Sunny Sunday (November 26, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today I’m feeling all over the place. It’s been like this for most of the week. I’ve been struggling with lots of unfamiliar staff sent out to do my support and my day schedule being screwed up for various reasons. However, I’m going to focus on the positive. I’m joining in with Sunny Sunday. Like Leigha, I am going to focus on the things I’m grateful for, from the general to the specific. I am using Maslow’s hierarchy of needs as a guide.

1. Physiological needs: Food. Particularly, the fact that we had French fries yesterday (oh wait, that’s not a need). My relatively good physical health. A roof over my head.

2. Safety needs: my financial security. The fact that my staff did try to get me a familiar staff person for my one-on-one at least part of the time (although it was after I’d had an outburst).

3. Love and belonging needs: my spouse, who phoned me this evening despite having a headache. A visit from my mother-in-law on Tuesday.

4. Esteem needs: my new day schedule, which will take effet tomorrow, giving me more time to engage in activities I enjoy. Well, technically it’s not more time in total, but the day schedule is less cut up into small parts, so I’ll have a larger time slot in the afternoon for something like polymer clay.

5. Self-actualization needs: renewed motivation for actually doing something creative. It hasn’t yet formed into something concrete, but I’m working on that.

What are you happy about?

I Want to Create #SoCS

Posted on by Astrid

I haven’t been very inspired to create lately. Last Monday, this topic was on my mind when discussing how I’m doing at my current care home. I sometimes try to blame lack of time or familiar staff to help me create as reasons for why I hardly work with polymer clay anymore. This is indeed a factor, but it’s not everything. I’m probably also experiencing a bit of a decline in my creativity and general cognitive state. Then again, if I don’t nurture this creative side of mine, I will only deteriorate further. And, although if I had all the mental and physical energy in the world, I’d really like to be able to be more independent in other areas, creativity is what I really want to work on.

Thankfully, my crafty spirit isn’t completely gone. In fact, I believe that I still can ignite this spark of creativity that is the recognition that I want to create, so that it will become a massive flame of artistic expression.

It wasn’t even for this reason that I decided to create a gnome out of polymer clay yesterday. It’s my spouse’s birthday tomorrow and I’d be visiting my in-laws in celebration of it today. My spouse has a birthday wishlist and had already guessed correctly the gift I’d selected off of it, so I wanted a handmade gift in addition. My spouse has a large collection of gnomes, so it’d be only logical that I’d create one out of polymer clay.

Polymer clay gnome

I actually was more creative than I normally am, as usually I follow a YouTube tutorial except with my unicorns. This time though, I created the gnome completely by imagining it. The only thing I don’t like about it, is the fact that I forgot to paint a white dot in its eyes to make them look a little more alive.

This post was written for Stream of Consciousness Saturday, for which the prompt this week is “create”.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (November 1, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s Wednesday once again, so I’m joining in with the Wednesday HodgePodge. Here we go.

1. Besides Thanksgiving (in the USA) what’s one thing you’re looking forward to in November?
Not sure really. November is the hardest month of the year for me. My spouse’s birthday is this month, but I won’t be going to our house in Lobith for the weekend. I’m pretty sure we’ll find a way to celebrate though and that’s what I’ll be looking forward to.

2. Do you like candles? Your favorite scent? How often do you burn a candle in your home?
No, I don’t. They’re not safe for me because of the flame. I used to love wax melts though. My favorite scents were sweet scents reminiscent of bakeries like those including vanilla, cinnamon and coconut.

3. What gadgets did you use today?
My laptop, iPhone and Apple Watch.

4. This question is a repeat from one asked in November of 2014, but I liked it so it’s coming round again. Many of you weren’t here in 2014. Okay, you can have fifty pounds of something (anything but money)…what will you choose? Also, since I mentioned it…what were you up to in November of 2014?
Fifty pounds of polymer clay LOL. Then I could make some giant unicorns. Seriously though, I have absolutely no idea what substance it would be useful to have fifty pounds of. Except maybe gold so that I could trade it in for money, but that’d be cheating.

As for where I was in November of 2014, I was in the psychiatric hospital in Wolfheze. If I remember correctly, the psychologist who ended up kicking me out of there in 2017 had just become my responsible clinician.

5. ‘Tis the season…what’s something you’re feeling especially grateful for today?
My mental health. It’s November and I’m struggling, but not nearly as badly as I was last year.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
As I shared yesterday that I hoped I wouldn’t have gained significantly at my weigh-in today, I owe you all the result: I lost 0.5kg.

October 2023 Reflections #WBOYC

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s the last day of the month and this means I’m reflecting on the past month’s happenings. As usual, I’m joining in with What’s Been On Your Calendar? (#WBOYC).

First, I’m finally going to share the polymer clay unicorn I crafted on September 30. Okay, that’s not technically the past month, but I didn’t fully finish it and take a picture till October 5.

My spouse joked that, judging by its colors – fuchsia, yellow and blue (the blue is called Peppermint, don’t ask me why) -, it’s typical of a specific music scene from the nineties. The staff who helped me craft this unicorn, is only slightly older than me, so she understood.

I haven’t really been crafting with clay much over the month of October. I did though help cook dinner twice. I also made a few smoothies.

I also did a good amount of walking, although I didn’t meet my movement goal every single day this month. I blame the rain, because the one day I didn’t meet the goal, it was raining almost constantly. Besides walking, I went swimming once.

My mother-in-law visited me three times this month and my spouse came by each week. My sister had originally wanted to come by this Sunday, but I prefer not to see her or my parents in the institution. Instead, my spouse and I are going to see them and my parents at Christmas.

Mental health-wise, the month has been quite good, truthfully. I mean, I’m still adjusting to my new care home and it’s October, which is a hard month for me each year. Taking this into consideration, however, I can’t complain. I am intensely grateful for the fact that most staff go out of their way to accommodate me. Initially, I was told by some that I’d be assigned the temp worker almost by default, which set me off because that was exactly what happened at my old care home and, given my attachment issues, I struggle with this. I spiraled into a bad crisis for this reason last week. Thankfully though, the staff now try their best to assign at least a somewhat familiar staff to me if they have to be a temp worker after all.

With respect to my physical health, I am happy to report I didn’t lose any more weight. In fact, I gained a few pounds. It wasn’t like I definitely couldn’t lose any more weight for my health, but I would’ve felt concerned had I lost more weight, given how much I ate over the past month. I am now within the weight range I agreed upon with my dietitian rather than slightly below it, so I’ve decided I can no longer afford as many treats as I used to consume. Yesterday, I convinced my assigned staff to add my food plan to the manila folder of important information that’s on my table in my room. After all, staff would often hand me a cookie (or two) without even thinking about it with each coffee break, despite the fact that my food plan has one only with my evening coffee break. I am due for weigh-in tomorrow morning again. Fingers crossed I won’t have gained significantly.

Hello Monday (October 30, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Oh my, I’ve once again been neglecting my blog. I honestly wouldn’t know why, since over the past few days I’ve felt pretty good. I guess I’ll blame the time of year or something. Anyway, today I’m sharing an update with you all for Hello Monday.

Saturday was a very busy day. It was mostly in a good way, but it still left me feeling overwhelmed. A staff made pancakes for lunch, which were absolutely delish. In the afternoon, I sat down with one of my staff to discuss some of the important life events I want all of my staff to know about. This was intense, as you can imagine.

In the evening, I helped another staff cook macaroni for all of the residents and staff. We started out by cooking the mince, then adding onions, garlic and peppers. We thankfully didn’t have to chop the other vegetables. I turned out to be right about the amount of macaroni we needed. Thankfully, the staff’s estimate had been higher, so we had leftovers rather than not having enough. Unfortunately, neither I nor the staff thought of freezing the leftovers, so I’m afraid they’ve gone to waste.

I had a difficult night with nightmares and interrupted sleep, but it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been several years ago.

On Sunday, my spouse visited me. We went to Starbucks a second time and, after another caramel frappuccino and a donut for me because the pumpkin spice lattes were sold out, I had to agree that my spouse had been right all along that Starbucks is a waste of our money. I mean, the donut was worse than supermarket ones and truthfully my iced coffee was worse than the one I’d had at McDonald’s several months ago, which had initially made me decide I don’t like iced coffees. However, the problem with that one wasn’t the iced coffee itself but the paper straw. This was an issue now too, of course, but the frappuccino definitely was quite bad.

We also went to Aldi to shop for groceries. I only bought crunchy muesli, since the other things I wanted I’d asked my staff to order from the delivery service.

Sunday evening, of course, it got dark at around 5:30PM already because of the end of daylight saving time. I stayed indoors and watched some TV. We’ll have general elections on November 22, so I watched a humorous political quiz-like program in preparation for it.

Last night, I slept better, thankfully. I went on several walks today. On one of them, I decided to take some fall-themed pictures. The one below was taken a short distance from my care home.

We also visited the petting zoo once again and I took a picture of the guinea pigs.

This evening, I spent my allocated activity time claying with my one-on-one staff for the moment. We both created a flower, though hers looks more like a starfish in shape and due to the colors we used, the center is hardly visible. I usually get some help with my crafting, but this time I loved being able to craft the flower pretty much independently while my staff worked on hers.