#WeekendCoffeeShare (April 19, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare tonight. It’s almost 11PM here, so definitely no more coffee for me. If you’d like to grab a drink, feel free to and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. We finally got rain. Not as much as was originally thought and not nearly enough, but we got rain. The temperatures have also been lower, usually around 15°C. This is still warmer than normal, but I still yearn for 20°C.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that, as a result of the rainy weather, I haven’t walked as much as I did in previous weeks. I still kept my perfect streak with respect to my movement goal on my Apple Watch, but didn’t meet my exercise goal everyday.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I’ve finally been crafting again. I created a polymer clay bear holding a heart for my support coordinator, who is on maternity leave. Unfortunately, one of its ears fell off during baking, but thankfully I noticed it in time and was able to add a new ear.

I also made another attempt at creating a polymer clay trinket dish today, but failed once again.

If we were having coffee, I’d report that I had a meeting with the intellectual disability physician, who prescribes my psych meds, on Wednesday. The good news is that I’m allowed to further taper my antipsychotic. The bad news is no answers regarding my tremors. She thinks they may be related to my spastic cerebral palsy and this means that they can get worse when I’m stressed.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I had a dietitian’s appt on Wednesday too. This went well. I’m staying in a sort of acceptable weight range and not having binge eating episodes or purging. My next appt will be in three months.

If we were having coffee, I’d moan about the temp worker situation once again. On Wednesday, when like I said I had two appointments, the staff wanted to orient a new “regular” temp worker to me. As soon as they told me, I told them that this wasn’t going to work out that day, but they kept telling me to see what’d come out of my doctor’s appt first and then we’d discuss it again. Well, no-one ever allowed for any discussion after the appt and, when the time came for the worker to be oriented, the staff doing the orienting kept pushing me in overt and covert ways to accept him. Like, the temp worker was constantly sneakily, without talking, being in my presence. This gave me a horribly unsafe feeling, because I, being blind, couldn’t be sure whether he was there or not.

The staff doing the orienting at one point seemed to show some understanding and told me she was going to talk it over with the other staff. She came back to tell me that it’d been agreed between my assigned staff, the support coordinator, behavior specialist and the team manager that, if I refused him now, I’d had my chance. She never told me who’d told her that when she was “talking it over”, so I assumed it was my assigned staff. I still refused the temp worker and to this day feel horrible about the whole situation. I mean, this whole agreement among the powers-that-be is showing that they believe I refuse staff for their one orientation moment just because I feel like it. Honestly, I still disagree with that whole thing about just one orientation moment and then they’re as regular as the regular staff who’ve worked here for years.

At one point, I went into the communal room and another staff, one of my “favorites”, was there. She asked me what was up and I explained that I had two appts that originally the staff didn’t think I could handle in one day and now they added this orientation thing to it too. The temp worker was present too and I told him it wasn’t that I didn’t like him, but he hadn’t even spoken a word to me during his previous shifts here and now he was creeping up on me. He apparently had been instructed to do so. The other staff understood and I actually talked a little to the temp worker.

Unfortunately, when I read my daily log notes for the past week today, I saw there wasn’t a single word about how I’d talked to him eventually. Neither was there anything about how I’d accepted the other temp worker (who’d had her orientation moment with me last week) for my activity on Tuesday, nor that I showed the new student staff my clay yesterday on his first shift here. This is relevant because it signifies that they’re still only reporting my challenging behavior and not the things I do accomplish in spite of the stress it gives me.

If we were having coffee, I would once again end on a positive note by sharing some small pleasures of the week. First was the BBQ on Thursday. It was good. Next up is a visit to the next town’s market yesterday. My spouse was a little surprised that I didn’t buy olives, as I usually buy those when going to the market. I did buy candy. I also went to the supermarket to buy some ingredients for my smoothies. We also went to that town’s coffee shop run by disabled people and had the most delicious caramel latte.

Speaking of which, I’d tell you that I’ve been having a new interest lately: coffee brewing. I’d really like to be able to create my own coffees. Still need to look into all the necessary supplies, but it should be fun.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (April 12, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. It’s just past 4:30PM as I start writing my post, so I’m going to interrupt my writing for dinner. If you’d like a cup of coffee, you’re free to join me at 7PM, by which time I’ll probably have finished this post. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s been sunny most of the week and we haven’t had rain in forever. Today, the temperature climbed to 22°C. This is my favorite type of weather, but I do realize that this high temps in April probably mean 40°C in July.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I once again managed to get in quite a lot of steps. On Monday, a staff and I went to the nearby lake, which I’d visited a few times with another staff before. While there, I did manage to take a few photos. My staff thought it’d be cool to take a photo of me at the bridge, but none of the photos she took were good enough. Here are a few photos that did turn out okay.



If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I’ve been taking some more photographs. On Sunday, I took some sunset shots. I really want to learn how to capture just the sunset rather than the buildings and trees too.


On Monday, I let my staff take my phone to the yard to snap a picture of an air balloon. I love how Be My Eyes describes the second photo with the bird on it.


If we were having coffee, next I’d tell you that I went out for lunch twice this week. On Wednesday, a staff and I went to Deventer to eat out at a restaurant staffed by people with developmental disabilities called Brownies ‘n’ Downies. There, I got the chicken burger with fries.

On Thursday, my mother-in-law came by for a visit. We drove to a pancake place a few towns away that has a play area for children too. Even though there weren’t many people in the restaurant, it was quite an overloading experience.

If we were having coffee, next I’d share that I’ve been hyperfixating on the idea of doing more cooking. I’ve been looking at smoothie recipes too, but I can’t seem to find cacao powder that isn’t super expensive anywhere in a brick-and-mortar supermarket.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that, this week, I’ve unfortunately still been struggling with temp workers being assigned to me. (Of course, my staff will say they’re “regular” temp workers.) Today, the support coordinator assigned me one of the temp workers for the entire morning under the guise of fewer switches. Well, it isn’t like he does this fewer switches thing when my trusted staff are available. IN the afternoon, the other temp worker had to have her one orientation moment with me. We went for a walk and then tried to play a game of dice, but she didn’t understand. The support coordinator told me that, if a staff doesn’t understand an activity, I can choose another activity which does suit them and another staff will explain the activity to them later. This frustrates me to no end.

If we were having coffee, I’d end on a positive note and share that, thankfully, the Center for Consultation and Expertise received our request to get involved. I’m now waiting for the behavior specialist to receive a call planning an orientation meeting. I really do hope I’ll be invited to that meeting.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (March 29, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this last Saturday of March. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. It’s nearly 8PM as I write this, so no more coffee for me. However, a fellow client’s parents brought us cheese, sausage and maybe other little snacks to go with our soft drinks this evening. I’ll have apple and peach-flavored Dubbelfrisss as usual. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first as usual I’d talk about the weather. It’s been mild most days with daytime temperatures around 15°C, though night-time temps have been around freezing. We had a little rain on Sunday I believe, but I think that was before I woke up. Honestly, I’m pretty sure nature could use some showers.

If we were having coffee, then I’d talk about my physical fitness routine. I am still going strong with my goal of a perfect month on my Apple Watch and, on Thursday, got in over 20K steps again.

If we were having coffee, then however I’d moan about my tremors. I’ve mentioned a couple of times that my right leg trembles horribly sometimes and, usually when it’s been happening, the rest of my body follows suit and starts twitching. Yesterday, it was really bad. My intellectual disability physician usually says it’s most likely influenced by stress, though both of us know that my medication (particularly my antipsychotic) could be causing it too.

With respect to my meds, I’ve often been reacting out of fear of becoming unmanageable and for this reason asking for a very slow taper. My physician has been constantly asking whether my life will become more difficult soon due to for instance more temp workers, because apparently that’d be a reason not to taper further for a while. Now I’ve decided that being manageable is not a reason to put my body through the effects of strong meds. Besides, yesterday I had an aggressive meltdown precisely because I couldn’t cope with the tremors anymore. Now thankfully on Monday my staff will contact the intellectual disability physician, my GP or both.

If we were having coffee, I’d also moan about my shoes. I’d worn one pair of orthopedic shoes for only a week last Thursday and they were already badly damaged. The physical therapist took a look at them and said she thought the orthopedic shoemaker might not have done the last repair properly. I’m not sure that’s the reason they get damaged so quickly. On Friday though, the physical therapist came by and took a video of my walking, which she is going to compare to a video she took about half a year ago. I’ll see her again next Friday and hope she’ll have some ideas.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I’ve been having bad memories of my time in the mental hospital. Like I said above, the intellectual disability physician here constantly talks about the possibility of more temp workers as an excuse not to taper my medication. This was precisely why I was prescribed medication in the first place: I’d become severely irritable because of the large number of temp workers at the time and my psychologist was threatening me with seclusion if I continued to have meltdowns. Similarly, when on the locked ward, I was literally told I’d be locked up in the “quiet room” if I needed more care than they could provide. I realize rationally that this is institutional abuse, but I’ve internalized a lot of all the bullcrap institutions feed me.

If we were having coffee, I’d end on a somewhat positive note by sharing that the behavior specialist finally filled out the forms to get the Center for Consultation and Expertise involved on my case.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (March 22, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s nearly 10PM here. I really wanted to write today but, for reasons I’ll explain in a bit, didn’t get to it. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. No more drinks for me except maybe some water, but if you’d like to, feel free to grab your favorite beverage.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s been absolutely delightful. Yesterday, the daytime temperature was as high as 22°C and I wore a skirt. I usually don’t wear skirts in colder weather because I don’t like wearing tights. It felt so good to be able to wear a skirt. I also loved the sunshine.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that I got in a lot of walking again over the past week. I really liked being active.

If we were having coffee, next, however, I’d share that I’ve been struggling badly again. I had an unannounced visit from the behavior specialist on Monday. My initial question was whether any progress had been made in involving the Center for Consultation and Expertise on my care. The answer to that was “No” and the behavior specialist didn’t offer any clarity on when she was going to get the ball rolling. My feeling is it’ll be 2034 by the time they get involved.

She did, however, have a lot of new so-called “agreements” (I’d call them executive orders) on my care. She pretty much ignored my input and there’s nothing about the things I said in the bullet points my assigned staff wrote in my records. Some of the new rules include:


  • New staff get only one chance to be oriented to me for each task (activity, morning routine, meal) and then they’re supposed to be “regulars” and can be assigned to me whenever the staff want. If I am not accepting them for their orientation time, it’s a missed opportunity on my part. I didn’t find out about that last bit until today.

  • I can be physically dragged to my room if I’m having a meltdown in the communal areas.

  • Staff will no longer be forced to rotate almost each support moment. Sounds good and it was what I wanted, but now they’re supposed to decide at the end of each moment who will come for my next moment, giving me only half an hour to adjust.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that the staff tried to orient three new “regular temp workers” (that’s an oxymoron in my opinion) to me within the next three days. I didn’t accept two of them. One because it was the evening after the meeting with my behavior specialist and a relatively new staff would be orienting her colleague. The other, I never said I wasn’t accepting but I was in a lot of distress and somehow my assigned staff made up that it was because of the new one.

The third one, I accepted without protest for my morning routine even though I later found out staff are supposedly first oriented to an activity. The staff being oriented kept asking me whether I’d explain things to her if she forgot. Well, actually, no, since I’m pretty easily overloaded by lots of questions. “She does pay attention, don’t worry,” the regular staff told me. Well, I do worry.

Unfortunately, I got a lot of negativity in my records for my behavior and yet there wasn’t the slightest acknowledgement of the fact that I’d accepted the third new staff without protest. That feels intensely unfair to me.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that the support coordinator did, for some reason probably only he knows, decide the new “regular temp workers” can’t be assigned to me yet even though by the behavior specialist’s rules, I’ve had my chance with all three. I am grateful for this, although I do understand I’ll need to accept them soon enough. That, hopefully, will go okay.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share that I’ve been writing up positives and negatives of the day each day for a few weeks now. Looking over these, it shows that I do appreciate small joys.

For example, there’s a new sensory room on the other side of the home and I’ve been eager to use it. I’ve also donated some stuffed animals and cushions to it.

Today’s Small Joys (March 16, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m struggling a bit but don’t want to share why. Instead, I’m sharing some small joys from the day again today. I’m participating in Sunny Sunday. Here goes.

1. Sunshine. It’s chilly (about 9°C in the afternoon) but sunny. With this being the case, my partner and I were even able to sit outside for our lunch.

2. Good coffee. The lunch we had was a bit disappointing to me especially considering how much it cost, but the coffee was good.

3. Being able to wear a nice, handmade necklace and being complimented on it by my spouse. I bought glass beads and wire a few days ago and I created my first necklace with them yesterday. I wore it today, which made me feel good.

4. Finding a couple more necklaces, most handmade by me many years ago, in the bag my spouse brought me after clearing out the house.

5. Unicorn soft toys. I was clearing out my box of stuffies this evening, because my spouse had also brought me some stuffed animals and my box was already quite full. I didn’t seriously know how many unicorn soft toys I have. Those, I all kept.

6. Looking forward to the sensory room the staff are creating on the other side of the home. I actually plan to donate some of my unwanted soft toys to that project.

7. Finding one of my first polymer clay creations in the bag too. It’s a baby. It’s extremely ugly, so I threw it away. However, remembering my making it, as well as realizing how far I’ve come along on my creative journey, made me smile.

Honestly, many of these things are more nostalgia-inducing than purely joyful. Remembering the good times is a positive thing though, so I’ll still focus on that.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (March 8, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this International Women’s Day! I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. It’s 7:30PM, so no more coffee for me. If you’d like a drink though, feel free to grab one and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. For most of the week, it’s been absolutely gorgeous! Today, we even reached 20°C. I know that this isn’t good news, in the sense that it’s way too warm for early March. I do care, but I also realize that I alone (or even all of the Netherlands alone) can’t stop or slow down climate change. For this reason, I’m enjoying the good weather while I can.

If we were having coffee, then I’d brag about all the physical activity I got in. Yesterday, I set a new record on my exercise minutes by exercising (mostly walking) for over three hours. I burned 600 active calories according to my Apple Watch.

Today, I didn’t walk as much, but still went for a few nice walks and I did ride the side-by-side bike. It’s an eBike and my staff had forgotten to check its battery level, so it quit working midway through our ride.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that, on Thursday, my staff and I took a walk around the nearby lake. We also walked this route one day in late January and I remembered a little café along the way had the most delicious caramel pie. My partner looked at the menu on Wednesday and said the caramel pie wasn’t on it. Maybe it was the “pie of the week”. Thankfully, once at the café, my staff asked the waitress whether they still had the caramel pie and they did!

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I am planning to create a trinket dish out of polymer clay soon. I ordered a cutter for it, which arrived on Monday. Unfortunately, my ceramic tile that I work on, is too small to cut out the shape on. However, one of my staff said she still had ceramic tiles somewhere and, thankfully, these were big enough. Haven’t gotten down to actually creating the trinket dish yet, because the weather’s just too beautiful.

If we were having coffee, I’d also share that, on Tuesday, a staff and I went for a walk around grounds again with the purpose of taking pictures of nature. There were mostly snowdrops and crocuses to be seen.



A few days later though, they’d mostly gone and the first daffodils could be spotted. No pics of those, as it was too sunny when I was out today.

If we were having coffee, I would conclude by saying this week overall was good. I had a few moments when I was in distress over the fact that there were quite a few temp workers, but the staff made sure always to assign me a regular staff. I realize it can’t always be this way and I’m okay with that, but I did tell my staff that my accepting a temp worker once out of necessity doesn’t make them a regular.

Today’s Small Joys (March 2, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m struggling intensely today. I often say that these days are the best for gratitude lists, but I don’t feel capable of doing an entire ten things of thankful. Instead, I’m going to list some small pleasures from today. I’m joining Sunny Sunday.

1. Coffee. My staff brought me an extra cup of coffee when waking me up.

2. Crunchy muesli. I treated myself today.

3. Earning some top commenter achievements on Reddit. Don’t ask me how.

4. Beautiful weather: it was quite sunny and mild with a daytime high of 10°C.

5. A delicious burger at McDonald’s.

6. A hug from my spouse. In fact, the entire visit was good. Having my spouse on my side genuinely helps.

This was easier than I thought. In fact, the E-mail newsletter I got this idea from, suggested listing only one to three things and I made it to six.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (March 1, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this first day of March. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. I’ve just had my last cup of coffee for the day, but if you’re quick, you may be able to enjoy a soft drink. We usually get chips with our soft drinks on weekends, but if I’m correct, the staff ordered meatballs. Let’s have a drink (and a snack) and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. Most days, it was chilly but not rainy. We got the most rain on Thursday, but even then I managed to go out.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that I did achieve the perfect month on my Apple Watch in February. My March challenge is incredibly easy: get in at least 3.63km of walking/running on at least fourteen days this month. I always thought the challenges were based on the previous month’s achievements, but I’m pretty sure I got a lot more steps in during February.

If we were having coffee, I’d report that I’ve been struggling again. This led to a number of arguments between me and the staff. Particularly, it frustrates me to no end that some staff are much more likely to react angrily to my irritability than others. As a result, I don’t accept gestures indicating they support me from these staff. Like, if you’ve first been telling me off, I won’t accept it when you offer me comfort. Unfortunately, my assigned staff claims this differing treatment is just how it is and she says it’s because I don’t accept the same treatment from everyone. This came across as if she was holding me responsible for the different approaches.

If we were having coffee, I’d also share that I’ve been frustrated with my day schedule and particularly the lack of clarity in it. I particularly don’t like the fact that, each time, I’ll have to choose an activity out of fifteen or so options. Thankfully, I was able to turn my frustration around today and decide that, on Monday, I’m going to the next town to buy groceries and, on Tuesday, I’m going to cook dinner for the home.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that part of my struggle is the extreme discrepancy between my intelligence and my emotional functioning. I’m said to function emotionally at a level comparable to a child under 18 months of age in most respects, but my IQ is above-average. Moreover, I happen to have an interest in psychology and social work. As a result, I, for example, know more about the theory of care and support than most of my staff, but I can’t apply it to my own situation and not just because I’m the client.

Like, when I’m in a good place mentally, I sometimes find myself pointing out ways staff are asking too much of me emotionally, but precisely because I can say so, I’m judged not to need the support I need.

If we were having coffee, I would however also share that I still experience moments of joy. For example, on Monday, a new student staff was being introduced to my activities and we created a unicorn (of course) out of polymer clay. This time, because the unicorn was rather fat and the staff had placed the front legs far apart, I chose to add a heart to its belly. I also decorated its back with rhinestones. Two pictures below, because my staff couldn’t capture both the heart and the rhinestones in one.


If we were having coffee, lastly I’d tell you that I struggle with self-criticism and this also leads me towards less creativity. I, however, overcame the feeling that I “should be better” sometime on Tuesday when I created a rather simple bracelet. It was just beads stringed onto elastic wire. However, looking at my comment about emotional development, I sincerely believe I did a pretty awesome job, since a toddler can’t do this at all.

Sorry for the rambly post. I’m still feeling hazy after another meltdown. By the way, no meatballs for our evening treat, as somehow they’d disappeared.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (February 22, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare once again. It’s almost 10:30PM here, so no coffee for me. Since this is a virtual get-together, you’re free to grab your own beverage of choice. Let’s have a drink and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s been all over the place with freezing night-time temps and daytime highs hardly above freezing early in the week, then a daytime high of 16°C yesterday. Today the daytime high was 12°C, which is still quite warm for late February. Unfortunately, it was raining most of the day today.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that this week was a mixed bag mental health-wise. I’ve mostly been quite tired, but the bloodwork I had done on Monday came back all clear. I wish there was something simple that could explain my daytime tiredness, but I’m pretty sure that if I pressure the doctor to do more testing, they’ll just say I shouldn’t give in to fatigue, as I was told the last few times (many years ago) that I complained of being too tired.

Yesterday was a good day, but today I felt a bit irritable and overloaded.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I spent a lot of time early in the week switching web browsers. Somehow, with the latest update, Edge for iOS is pretty much impossible to use for me. Whether this is an actual bug in its accessibility with VoiceOver or it’s just that things have been switched around like crazy and I’m not tech savvy enough for it anymore, I don’t know. I tried getting the freakin’ Copilot (Microsoft’s AI) that was constantly in my way to disappear, but it wouldn’t.

So I decided to leave Edge behind altogether and switch browsers, because I don’t like using one browser on my iPhone and another on PC. I finally settled on Chrome and, though I’m still figuring things out, mostly it works okay.

If we were having coffee, I’d then tell you that a (now former) staff came to say goodbye on Monday. I gave her the “bull in a china shop”, ie. the polymer clay elephant in a mug I’d created last week. She loves unicorns and elephants, but she already had a unicorn.

This time around, I didn’t get a proper description from the Be My Eyes app, because it judged the mug to be its body and the letter J (for the staff’s first name) to be its tail.

If we were having coffee, I’d then tell you all I had a good day yesterday. I walked a lot, but also visited the next town’s market. I had originally been uncertain as to whether I wanted fried fish (or shrimp really) because of it being quite a high-calorie, high-fat food. I eventually said “screw it!” and considered yesterday a total cheat day. I, after all, also had fried chicken for dinner. Granted, other than that I only had a salad.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share I do really need to lose weight though. I’m about 2kg overweight, which doesn’t seem like a lot given that I used to be 20kg heavier than I am now. However, the “screw it!” thoughts are pretty commonplace especially given the current state of the world. For example, my unhealthy voice is telling me it’s not a problem if I risk getting a heart attack ten years from now because, for all we know, the world may’ve gone up in smoke by then anyway. I, thankfully, do still have more tangible reasons to lose weight or at least not gain any. Like, I still want to be able to wear my favorite pants.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share that I am still going strong meeting my movement goal on my Apple Watch each day this month. I’m really hoping for the perfect month award. That being said, I’m not overcompensating for my having indulged in too many “cheat” foods. Not that I believe in cheat foods anyway, since there are no bad foods, just less healthy habits. And overexercising can be a less healthy habit too, as my dietitian reminded me on Wednesday. Not that I’ve ever truly done that, honestly. The bottom line though is that I’m not engaging in compulsive eating habits or exercise. I feel things might need to be a little more controlled, but I’m not sure how to do this.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (January 3, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. I usually do this on Saturdays, but I want to do it today. It’s 8:30PM, so I’ve had my last cup of coffee and soft drink for the day, but as usual, you can always grab a cup of your favorite beverage. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. New Year’s was windy and rainy. Today, we got a bit of snow. Let’s just say I can’t wait for spring.

If we were having coffee, I’d then tell you that, due to the weather, I didn’t meet my movement goals most of this week. That is, over New Year’s, I didn’t feel safe going outside because of the fireworks. My monthly challenge on my Apple Watch is to burn 335 active calories a day 14 times. This should be easy, but I’m honestly a bit discouraged right now.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that, on Monday, I tried to make a smoothie only to discover that tons of black critters had crawled into my blender. My outdoor cushions had been next to the blender and that’s where they came from. The cushions were horribly moldy too. Needless to say I threw out the cushions. I could’ve washed the blender, but the idea of these critters ever having been in it, creeped me out, so I discarded it too.

Thankfully, when I explained the situation on the phone, my spouse offered me a blender that had been sitting in our house since my spouse’s birthday in 2023, because it was a gift from me. Apparently my spouse hardly ever uses it. It’s a lot smaller than my old blender, so no more smoothies for the entire home. It works okay though, as I made my first smoothie in it yesterday.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that my New Year’s was okay. I had originally planned to stay at the institution, but ended up spending the night with my spouse at our house. For the most part, we just chilled and watched a little TV. We ate a delicious pasta bake for dinner. We hardly made it to midnight before feeling too tired to remain awake. Unfortunately, the fireworks were really bad, so it was 2AM before we properly slept. Neither of us usually sleeps well when we’re together anyway. I left by 2PM on New Year’s day.

That evening, the staff here at the institution had ordered salads, baguettes and various kinds of meat. It was good. I also had a cup of ice cream topped with loads of whipped cream for dessert.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share that, like I suspected, I gained weight over the holidays and am now three pounds over my upper goal weight. I’m pretty sure though that, if I gained three pounds in two weeks, I can lose at least part of the weight again before my dietitian’s appt on the 15th. I am actually considering stopping seeing the dietitian, because I know full well what to do to remain somewhat healthy and I don’t think the dietitian helps keep me accountable. I don’t want to ditch my goal (eh, hope) of being more health-conscious, but I honestly don’t see how the dietitian helps me with this. I’ll give it some more thought and may use my weight on the 15th (ie. a factor of how successful I am at actually following through on what I know to be healthy) as a factor in my decision.