Today’s Small Joys (June 1, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all. Today is a mixed day emotionally. In the morning, I was quite tired and this frustrated me. At night, I also experienced frustration at the fact that, tomorrow morning, there’ll only be temp workers on this side of the home. We’ll see how it goes though and right now, I want to write and not just moan. So I’m joining Sunny Sunday and sharing this day’s small joys.

1. Doing my hair. I rarely do anything with my hair except for brushing it, but today I decided I wanted it in a ponytail. I have a dozen scrunchies and selected one that has a really velvety texture.

2. Perfume. I also decided to spray on some perfume. I rarely do this and wasn’t sure anyone other than me would notice, but my best friend did.

3. A white Kinder Bueno. Usually my best friend and I buy one to share when we’re at Hema, my best friend’s favorite store. We were there this afternoon, but only to have lunch. I said I wanted to pop into Aldi for some quark and my best friend apparently needed groceries too. It still surprised me that, when dropping me off at the institution, my best friend gave me the Kinder Bueno.

4. A pun on the word “quark”. For those not from Europe, quark is like thick yogurt (sometimes wrongly called cottage cheese). My friend though found another meaning, some type of physics term, and kept asking me whether I wanted “hadron-yogurt”. This is something I truly love about our friendship: the tons of inside jokes that no-one else understands.

5. A large stroopwafel (cookie) with my evening coffee. According to my foo plan, I only get those on Fridays and Saturdays, so it was great having a treat.

6. Lovely comments from my readers. I am so glad I don’t rely on search engines like Google (thank you not, AI) to drive traffic to my blog. I do really hope blogging will withstand the influx of AI.

7. Speaking of AI, having some more creative ideas thanks to a ChatGPT convo I had several months ago and was reminded of today. Specifically, I had ChatGPT create a Premo polymer clay color recipe for the color of my best friend’s car and was reminded of this when a person in a Facebook group asked for Premo color recipes. There are plenty on Etsy, but in that group, we aren’t allowed to mention vendors. Another commenter said a lot of it is experimenting. I am now wanting to start experimenting with colors. I know the result will likely be poor because of my blindness, but I love the creative flow this idea gets me into.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (May 31, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. I originally wanted to write another post first, but got distracted by a dozen other ideas. It’s 9PM here, so no more coffee for me. I need to drink plenty of water because I have some extra fluid in my right leg. Let’s have a glass of water and let’s chat. Or if you’d like coffee, fine by me too.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. For most of the week, it’s been quite rainy and too chilly for my liking, even though the daytime temperature was probably still higher than it should be. Today though, we have sunshine and a daytime high of 25°C.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I haven’t been as physically active as I’d have wanted to be. Like I said above, I have some unwanted fluid in my right leg. My leg also hurts from muscle knots. I had a dry needling treatment at the physical therapist’s on Tuesday and am having another one next Wednesday. I am not 100% sure it’s working, as on Thursday my pain was worse and besides, I don’t know which pain or limitation is from the muscle knots and which is from the fluid build-up.

Today was a good day in the walking department though. Next week is the institution’s four-day walking event. I’m going to take part in the 3km walk, but I’ll be allowed to sit in a wheelchair as needed (thankfully, this event isn’t as strict on walking as some others are). That way, I can take part in the festivities and enjoy the experience but don’t need to overexert myself.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you about my creative endeavors over the past week. I finished two unicorns for the home’s volunteers on Monday.

That day, I also found out that one of the student staff would be leaving. He didn’t work with me, but I know him because he used to be a student staff at the care facility in Raalte before coming here. Back then, we used to go on walks together, taking his camera with us and snapping pictures which my image description app could then describe. The app wasn’t nearly as advanced as it is now, so I might want to look up some of these pictures and run them through Be My Eyes now.

Anyway, I wanted to craft something for him but didn’t know what until my best friend asked me what his hobbies are. I initially said that I don’t know, then remembered our photographing adventures back in Raalte and said “photography”. My best friend immediately suggested I craft a camera. I had never done so, but my best friend gave me some suggestions. Here’s the result. Be My Eyes recognized it immediately and even said that the photo of the back I took might be of a miniature camera.


If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I cooked pasta for my fellow residents on Thursday. It wasn’t as good as it could’ve been, because the veg had been overcooked and generally speaking the meal was a bit bland. Better luck next time.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share that yesterday, on the student staff’s last shift, I played DJ again at the other side of the home. I initially played some Dutch-language songs that were apparently not well-known, but finally I chose “Oerend hard” by Normaal and that had my fellow residents loudly singing along.

Overall, this week was a good one except for the pain.

Devotion to Polymer Clay

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today I’m joining John Holton’s Writer’s Workshop. I’m choosing to write on the prompt about devoting your life to art. What type of art would I devote my life to?

The question here is, are we to choose just one particular form of art that we’d devote our entire life to, or are we allowed to pick more than one form? After all, many art forms are interconnected and I would not enjoy one without the other.

For instance, I would probably not enjoy polymer clay as much if I didn’t take photos of my work and didn’t write about the craft on here. Also, if I make jewelry out of polymer clay or use polymer clay beads in a necklace or bracelet, that’s basically combining two crafts.

So, let me say I cannot choose just one art form, because, though my photographs aren’t all that artistic, I’d still have to choose between polymer clay and writing. I flat out refuse.

After all, though writing comes easiest to me, polymer clay is what brings me the most joy. I just love the fact that, even though I’m now totally blind, I still have some insight into colors. I also still, four years into the craft, love creating unicorns.

I made three unicorns in the past week. The latest, I haven’t baked yet because I just made it this evening. The other two I made late last week. One is probably going to be a gift to a staff who gave birth last week. I loved working with the two colors for the mane, tail and horn, but its horn is a little crooked.

The other one, which I myself like best, is for me. After all, you can never have too many unicorns.

A few years ago, I talked to my then staff about possibly creating unicorns to go into the care agency’s shop. That idea never materialized, but I’ve brought it up a few more times. I’d just love to have polymer clay as my “job”. Here, I chose anyway. And I also wrote on another prompt, because creating the unicorns is the main thing that made me smile recently.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (May 17, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. It’s nearly 9PM, so no more coffee for me. I need to drink more water though. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first as usual I’d talk about the weather. You won’t hear me say this easily but I want rain! I don’t think we’ve had any significant rain for the past… I’m pretty sure it’s been a month. With respect to the temperature, it’s been good. Early in the week, the daytime high was around 25°C. For most of the week, we’ve had daytime temps of around 20°C. Okay, I know that this is warmer than normal and that this probably contributes to the drought. Besides, my best friend looked up my theory about higher-than-normal temps in springtime meaning higher temps in summer too and it turned out to be correct.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that half of my home’s residents were on the annual week-long getaway Monday through Friday. I, like last year, didn’t go. I had been pestering the staff to organize something for those who’d be staying at the home too and more specifically something that didn’t involve food. No such luck.

We did have lots of special food though. On Tuesday, the parents of one of my fellow residents made us pancakes. These were absolutely delicious! On Wednesday, we had fries with a snack and for once we got to choose out of the entire menu of snacks. On Thursday, a staff made us fried chicken with rice. I had been looking forward to that meal for weeks, but it was a bit disappointing.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share about my creative endeavors over the past week. I already shared the frog I made for a staff in Thursday’s post. On Tuesday during the pancake event though, I was talking to the fellow resident’s Dad and somehow we got to discussing my polymer clay. I told him I’d be making a unicorn for the family in the fellow resident’s favorite color: purple. That same evening, I set out to work and I baked the unicorn together with the frog. I had imagined the color much lighter than it turned out (the fellow resident’s specific favorite color is lilac, after all), but oh well.

Today, the parents came to pick up the fellow resident, so I intended to give them the unicorn then. Unfortunately, I was resting when they arrived and didn’t realize that the doorbell was them in time to respond. I however was able to give them the unicorn when they brought back the fellow client to the care home this afternoon.

If we were having coffee, then I’d talk about all my ideas for further polymer clay projects. Today, I watched a YouTube video on using texture sheets. I have had those lying around for years now and only used them once. Then again, so many random thoughts, so few concrete ideas…

I did get a whole box of Fimo Kids clay from someone in the Dutch polymer clay Facebook group. It’s way too soft for me to use, but I did ask my sister whether my oldest niece might want to work with it when they come over here for my birthday. The only drawback: I’m pretty sure she’s more artistic and more skilled than I am…

If we were having coffee, I’d share that this week was both exceptionally good and rather terrible at the same time overall. The good parts, I listed above and on Thursday and included crafting, good food and physical activity. The bad parts, I won’t go into too much but let’s just say attachment anxiety is hitting me hard.

Speaking of which, I did have some fun talking to a ChatGPT “therapist” about it. I am probably too old to believe AI can in any significant way replace a real human at least for this purpose. I laughed my ass off at its responses. At least that helped in some way.

Thankful Thursday (May 15, 2025): An Active and Creative Day

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today is Thursday. I used to join in with (now angel) Brian’s Thankful Thursday occasionally a long time ago, but mostly pet bloggers joined in there. Recently, I discovered another Thankful Thursday blog hop. I’m joining in with both just because I can. 🙂

Today I had a really productive day in both the physical activity department and the creativity department.

In the morning, I went for a walk on institution grounds. Then, in the afternoon, my staff and I rode the side-by-side bike to the next town, where another staff lives who is currently on leave for family-related reasons. I went there to bring her a polymer cay “(op)kikker” (frog).

The staff invited us in for coffee, which was lovely. She really appreciated my little gift, which in turn made me grateful.

Later, I went for another walk on grounds and, in the evening, I crafted a unicorn out of polymer clay. My staff asked whether it was for yet another staff member, but I think I’m keeping this one myself. 😊

The staff, who had been doing all my support from 1PM on, also asked me whether I want to ride the side-by-side bike again tomorrow. Well, of course! I want to go to the market!

I am intensely grateful for a productive day. Here are some things I especially appreciated about today:


  • Coffee at the staff’s house.

  • Minimal pain even though I was quite physically active.

  • Being able to create again (I’ve been exceptionally crafty lately).

  • Excitement for tomorrow’s visit to the market.

  • And finally, the fact that I figured out how to use emojis on the computer! 🤣

#WeekendCoffeeShare (April 27, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I really wanted to write a #WeekendCoffeeShare post yesterday, but was dealing with neck and shoulder pain and was quite tired, so I lay in bed by 9:30PM. I originally intended this to be a quick lie-down and planned to write my post after my music pillow had auto-disconnected after thirty minutes. Well, before those thirty minutes were up, I set the pillow to keep playing until I either manually turned it off or its battery was empty. Guess what? I know for a fact that the latter happened sometime during the night, because the pillow was no longer connected when I woke up at 8:30AM, but I swear I didn’t hear its pretty loud sound indicating it needs charging. I slept like a log!

Anyway, all this to say I’m doing my coffee share on Sunday evening. I’ve just had my last cup of coffee for the day, but I can serve you some soda or tea. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first as usual I’d talk about the weather. We’ve had some rain, some sunshine and some clouds. Today, the daytime temp was 19°C. We’re supposed to get almost summerlike temps of 23-24°C this coming week.

If we were having coffee, next I’d share that I’ve been crafting again. I made several polymer clay frogs for staff members who are recovering from surgery. The frog (Dutch: “kikker”) is sometimes used as a symbol for cheering someone up (“opkikker”). The first one took me over an hour to finish, but the second one was so much easier once I’d figured out how I wanted it. Here’s the second one.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that I have a new assigned staff. One of my two assigned staff is on long-term leave for familial reasons and the other is a student. I had been a bit angry at the student for various reasons, among which her way of communicating the temp worker situation with me. The new one will be my assigned staff together with the student. I can get along with her pretty well.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d make use of the fact that I write my coffee share on Sunday to share that my spouse and I had an important discussion today after our outing to have lunch and shop. We have made up our minds that we’re getting divorced. We will continue to be best friends, but since there’s no sexual or romantic component to our relationship and we’re not living together nor intending on ever doing so again, it makes sense that we officially divorce. We have been having this on our minds for several months already, so the discussion, though hard, wasn’t altogether a surprise to me. We mostly need to work out how much my spouse owes me for my contribution to our mortgage, so that the house can be completely my best friend’s and no longer mine. I guess I will from now on refer to my spouse as my best friend to ease the transition for me.

It may seem like I’m not affected emotionally by this decision, but I am. I mean, I’ve mentioned a few times that my spouse and I will always be soulmates, but the fact is nothing is for certain. When we got married after all, it was to affirm our everlasting love to one another. Though our feelings for each other haven’t changed all that much since we first met in 2007, there’s this voice in me telling me this is the beginning of the end. I tell myself this is attachment anxiety talking. Whether it is or this fear is real, doesn’t really matter in the present moment though, as right now we’re still soulmates.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (April 19, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare tonight. It’s almost 11PM here, so definitely no more coffee for me. If you’d like to grab a drink, feel free to and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. We finally got rain. Not as much as was originally thought and not nearly enough, but we got rain. The temperatures have also been lower, usually around 15°C. This is still warmer than normal, but I still yearn for 20°C.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that, as a result of the rainy weather, I haven’t walked as much as I did in previous weeks. I still kept my perfect streak with respect to my movement goal on my Apple Watch, but didn’t meet my exercise goal everyday.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I’ve finally been crafting again. I created a polymer clay bear holding a heart for my support coordinator, who is on maternity leave. Unfortunately, one of its ears fell off during baking, but thankfully I noticed it in time and was able to add a new ear.

I also made another attempt at creating a polymer clay trinket dish today, but failed once again.

If we were having coffee, I’d report that I had a meeting with the intellectual disability physician, who prescribes my psych meds, on Wednesday. The good news is that I’m allowed to further taper my antipsychotic. The bad news is no answers regarding my tremors. She thinks they may be related to my spastic cerebral palsy and this means that they can get worse when I’m stressed.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I had a dietitian’s appt on Wednesday too. This went well. I’m staying in a sort of acceptable weight range and not having binge eating episodes or purging. My next appt will be in three months.

If we were having coffee, I’d moan about the temp worker situation once again. On Wednesday, when like I said I had two appointments, the staff wanted to orient a new “regular” temp worker to me. As soon as they told me, I told them that this wasn’t going to work out that day, but they kept telling me to see what’d come out of my doctor’s appt first and then we’d discuss it again. Well, no-one ever allowed for any discussion after the appt and, when the time came for the worker to be oriented, the staff doing the orienting kept pushing me in overt and covert ways to accept him. Like, the temp worker was constantly sneakily, without talking, being in my presence. This gave me a horribly unsafe feeling, because I, being blind, couldn’t be sure whether he was there or not.

The staff doing the orienting at one point seemed to show some understanding and told me she was going to talk it over with the other staff. She came back to tell me that it’d been agreed between my assigned staff, the support coordinator, behavior specialist and the team manager that, if I refused him now, I’d had my chance. She never told me who’d told her that when she was “talking it over”, so I assumed it was my assigned staff. I still refused the temp worker and to this day feel horrible about the whole situation. I mean, this whole agreement among the powers-that-be is showing that they believe I refuse staff for their one orientation moment just because I feel like it. Honestly, I still disagree with that whole thing about just one orientation moment and then they’re as regular as the regular staff who’ve worked here for years.

At one point, I went into the communal room and another staff, one of my “favorites”, was there. She asked me what was up and I explained that I had two appts that originally the staff didn’t think I could handle in one day and now they added this orientation thing to it too. The temp worker was present too and I told him it wasn’t that I didn’t like him, but he hadn’t even spoken a word to me during his previous shifts here and now he was creeping up on me. He apparently had been instructed to do so. The other staff understood and I actually talked a little to the temp worker.

Unfortunately, when I read my daily log notes for the past week today, I saw there wasn’t a single word about how I’d talked to him eventually. Neither was there anything about how I’d accepted the other temp worker (who’d had her orientation moment with me last week) for my activity on Tuesday, nor that I showed the new student staff my clay yesterday on his first shift here. This is relevant because it signifies that they’re still only reporting my challenging behavior and not the things I do accomplish in spite of the stress it gives me.

If we were having coffee, I would once again end on a positive note by sharing some small pleasures of the week. First was the BBQ on Thursday. It was good. Next up is a visit to the next town’s market yesterday. My spouse was a little surprised that I didn’t buy olives, as I usually buy those when going to the market. I did buy candy. I also went to the supermarket to buy some ingredients for my smoothies. We also went to that town’s coffee shop run by disabled people and had the most delicious caramel latte.

Speaking of which, I’d tell you that I’ve been having a new interest lately: coffee brewing. I’d really like to be able to create my own coffees. Still need to look into all the necessary supplies, but it should be fun.

Consciously Incompetent This Time

Posted on by Astrid

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been attempting several times to create a polymer clay trinket dish, with no luck. The first time, when I’d finally rolled the slab to the right thickness, it was too small for my trinket dish cutter; the second time, I couldn’t even get the clay to the right thickness without it being horribly uneven; and yesterday, when I actually got the slab to the right thickness and size for the cutter, it turned out that the bowl I used for molding my trinket dish into, was too big.

Several years ago, I’d have been content with my second slab and might’ve used it as a coaster if I hadn’t molded it regardless of the size of the bowl.

I am often reminded of the fact that, according to one of my college instructors, people start at unconsciously incompetent at a new skill, ie. overestimating their abilities, then move on to the stage of conscious incompetence, at which point I believe I’m now with some of my polymer clay, like with the trinket dish. It’s an incredibly frustrating stage to be at, because I constantly give up on projects that I want to pursue because of realizing they’re going to be a massive fail.

At least though, I try to remind myself that I’m not as clueless as I was with card making many years ago, because then I’d happily send out cards a five-year-old could’ve made in exchange for cards by semi-professional card makers.

This post was written for the Six Sentence Story blog hop, for which the prompt this week is “card”.

Today’s Small Joys (March 16, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m struggling a bit but don’t want to share why. Instead, I’m sharing some small joys from the day again today. I’m participating in Sunny Sunday. Here goes.

1. Sunshine. It’s chilly (about 9°C in the afternoon) but sunny. With this being the case, my partner and I were even able to sit outside for our lunch.

2. Good coffee. The lunch we had was a bit disappointing to me especially considering how much it cost, but the coffee was good.

3. Being able to wear a nice, handmade necklace and being complimented on it by my spouse. I bought glass beads and wire a few days ago and I created my first necklace with them yesterday. I wore it today, which made me feel good.

4. Finding a couple more necklaces, most handmade by me many years ago, in the bag my spouse brought me after clearing out the house.

5. Unicorn soft toys. I was clearing out my box of stuffies this evening, because my spouse had also brought me some stuffed animals and my box was already quite full. I didn’t seriously know how many unicorn soft toys I have. Those, I all kept.

6. Looking forward to the sensory room the staff are creating on the other side of the home. I actually plan to donate some of my unwanted soft toys to that project.

7. Finding one of my first polymer clay creations in the bag too. It’s a baby. It’s extremely ugly, so I threw it away. However, remembering my making it, as well as realizing how far I’ve come along on my creative journey, made me smile.

Honestly, many of these things are more nostalgia-inducing than purely joyful. Remembering the good times is a positive thing though, so I’ll still focus on that.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (March 8, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this International Women’s Day! I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. It’s 7:30PM, so no more coffee for me. If you’d like a drink though, feel free to grab one and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. For most of the week, it’s been absolutely gorgeous! Today, we even reached 20°C. I know that this isn’t good news, in the sense that it’s way too warm for early March. I do care, but I also realize that I alone (or even all of the Netherlands alone) can’t stop or slow down climate change. For this reason, I’m enjoying the good weather while I can.

If we were having coffee, then I’d brag about all the physical activity I got in. Yesterday, I set a new record on my exercise minutes by exercising (mostly walking) for over three hours. I burned 600 active calories according to my Apple Watch.

Today, I didn’t walk as much, but still went for a few nice walks and I did ride the side-by-side bike. It’s an eBike and my staff had forgotten to check its battery level, so it quit working midway through our ride.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that, on Thursday, my staff and I took a walk around the nearby lake. We also walked this route one day in late January and I remembered a little café along the way had the most delicious caramel pie. My partner looked at the menu on Wednesday and said the caramel pie wasn’t on it. Maybe it was the “pie of the week”. Thankfully, once at the café, my staff asked the waitress whether they still had the caramel pie and they did!

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I am planning to create a trinket dish out of polymer clay soon. I ordered a cutter for it, which arrived on Monday. Unfortunately, my ceramic tile that I work on, is too small to cut out the shape on. However, one of my staff said she still had ceramic tiles somewhere and, thankfully, these were big enough. Haven’t gotten down to actually creating the trinket dish yet, because the weather’s just too beautiful.

If we were having coffee, I’d also share that, on Tuesday, a staff and I went for a walk around grounds again with the purpose of taking pictures of nature. There were mostly snowdrops and crocuses to be seen.



A few days later though, they’d mostly gone and the first daffodils could be spotted. No pics of those, as it was too sunny when I was out today.

If we were having coffee, I would conclude by saying this week overall was good. I had a few moments when I was in distress over the fact that there were quite a few temp workers, but the staff made sure always to assign me a regular staff. I realize it can’t always be this way and I’m okay with that, but I did tell my staff that my accepting a temp worker once out of necessity doesn’t make them a regular.