March 2023 Reflections #WBOYC

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s the last day of the month and this means I’m reflecting back on this month’s happenings. I’m joining What’s Been On Your Calendar? (#WBOYC). Here goes.

This month would have started with my having the meeting on my care on March 2, but it got postponed yet again for the third time. I did get a visit from my mother-in-law instead and we took a walk through a nice park. Here are a couple of pictures my mother-in-law took with her phone of a remembrance stone we saw there.



The next Sunday, my husband and I drove to Ikea in Zwolle, where I bought a stuffed orang-utan. I so far didn’t show it on the blog yet, so what better day to do this than today?

On the other Sundays, my husband and I drove to Apeldoorn to have lunch at Backwerk. We did try visiting another lunch cafe once at the recommendation of one of my staff, but literally all tables were dirty.

On March 17, I finally had the meeting on my care. The positive aspect was that the powers-that-be will be looking for another, hopefully more suitable care home for me. The negative aspect is the fact that, in the meantime, nothing will change. This had me spiral out of control quite a bit, which my staff feel frustrated with.

Last week, it led to a bit of a disagreement between me and my assigned staff, because she got frustrated with my negativity. The way she worded it, even if my day schedule doesn’t get disrupted and I’m supported by regular staff for the entire shift, I still find a reason to complain. I countered that this hadn’t happened in months. Even this morning, with three out of four staff being regular employees, the fourth staff supported me for most of the shift.

In the health department, I did pretty well. I finally saw the dietitian last week and we concluded I no longer need to lose weight. Not that weight loss ever was a priority for me, more like a welcome side effect of my healthier-for-me lifestyle. The fact that I’d lost weight rather rapidly over the past five months, meant I had to up my calorie intake to prevent further weight loss. I did gain a bit of weight in the first week on my new food plan, but then again I did eat fries once in that week and a large burger another day. I’m not stressing about the weight gain at all.

In other health news, my cardio fitness level according to my Apple Watch has declined slightly and is in the “low” range again, though just barely. My heart rate recovery, on the other hand, is steadily improving.

All this being said, I’m trying to embrace my body as it is and appreciate my health for what it is.

In the blogging department, I did quite poorly, having written only eleven posts including this one. I am not sure how I’m going to do with the April A to Z Challenge given this reality, but I trust I can do it.

Hello Monday (March 6, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. A few weeks ago, I discovered another great weekly linky called Hello Monday, in which bloggers share about their weekend. Since I didn’t join #WeekendCoffeeShare this past Saturday, I still have a lot to share about the weekend. Besides, Sunday afternoon was fun, so even if I had posted on Saturday, I could post again today. Let’s get started.

Saturday morning was kind of hard. A new staff was being introduced to me, so for the morning shift there were two staff people doing my one-on-one. I do appreciate the fact that they actually had him properly introduced to me rather than having me do all the explaining, like they did with the student staff, but it did lead to me overhearing them converse about stuff that they said wasn’t my business. Well, if it’s none of my business then why discuss it in my room with me sitting right there in the middle?

Saturday evening was slightly better, but Sunday morning was hard again. The staff assigned to be my one-on-one that day always complains of a sore arm when holding my arm to guide me when walking, but I can’t safely walk without a sighted guide and I struggle to hold onto someone’s arm too (which is the proper way of walking sighted guide). In this sense, I empathize with this staff. Being that he isn’t the crafty type either, we were quite limited in the activities we could do, so I eventually decided we’d go for a walk anyway.

After he left at just past eleven for my “time to rest” (his cringe-worthy term for time without one-on-one support), which normally doesn’t start until 11:30, I indeed had a little lie down, but had had it by 11:30 and decided to go into the living room to see the other clients and staff. I sat there while they had lunch (and I had a little bit too). I was going to have a visit from my husband at 1PM and we usually go out for lunch then. One of the staff directed us to clear up the table, while she herself remained seated. Granted, she was another client’s one-on-one and either that client can’t or won’t clear up. I can’t without someone assisting me either and my one-on-one was nowhere to be found, but thankfully another staff helped me.

When my husband came to pick me up, he drove randomly. At one point, he asked me where we were going. “Where are we?” I asked. He replied we were at highway A50, headed northward, in the middle of nowhere. Zwolle was the closest bigger city, so we decided to head there. We went to Ikea, where we looked around a little, tthen had fries with chicken (for me) and meatballs (for him). Then we saw these really cute soft toys. My husband pointed out an orangutan, which I immediately decided to buy. My husband wants me to name him after the monkey king in The Jungle Book and he wanted me to look up the song on our way back to the institution. Not that I remember that movie. I mean, I’ve probably seen parts of it, but we only had public television at home when I was a child. I think the monkey is called Louis.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (September 24, 2022)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this rainy Saturday. How are you doing? Take a seat and have a drink, as I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare.

If we were having coffee, I would start out by sharing that last Monday was my and my husband’s eleventh wedding anniversary. We drove to Steenwijk, a town in the far north of my province, where we had lunch and went for a short walk. Then we drove to Blokzijl, a small town not far from there, where we had another walk around town and my husband took a photo of me with a large cannon.

Then we drove to Ikea in Zwolle, where my husband bought a few things, I looked for a new desk chair, and we had dinner. Unfortunately, they only serve the vegetarian version of the Swedish meatballs now, so I had chicken.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you I got a new pasta machine from one of the staff – the staff who always gives us clients everything she finds at thrift stores. This one works electronically or so she told me. I didn’t tell the staff that any pasta machine is hand-operated by default and a motor is optional. This one does have a motor. I did E-mail another staff to ask her to bring her tool kit one more time to remove the fenders for me.

If we were having coffee, I would share that the dietitian showed up unexpectedly for an appointment yesterday. The reason was the fact that I’d lost quite a bit of weight and had been compulsively exercising a lot over the past few weeks. Although the compulsive exercising seems to have reduced this week, I did need a bit of a reverse kick in the behind. You see, I have a history of disordered eating, bordering on bulimia, and although my main means of compensating used to be purging, this could definitely become a thing with over-exercise too. I do need to monitor this closely.

If we were having coffee, I would use the rest of this post to update you about the prospective new care home. I didn’t write a coffee share post last week, so those visiting from there might not know this, but the client in whose place I could come at the home at the main institution, moved out this Thursday. I had my first orientation visit with the prospective new home last Wednesday, am getting another on Monday and, if then I want to move, moving date has been set for October 5.

My first orientation visit went quite well. The clients are quite verbally capable, although of course they do “live in their own world”, as the support coordinator phrased it. The apartment – separate living room, bedroom and private bathroom – is quite large, although I couldn’t fully grasp its size because the client who was moving out had a lot of furniture. My husband did ask whether I would have to clean the apartment myself, but I assume not. I asked though just to be sure.

I love the fact that there are a lot of sports and recreational facilities on grounds, although the staff aren’t yet able to say how we could fit those into my day activities.

A great positive of the possible new home is that they cook their own meals everyday. Yay for no more meal delivery service junk!

My husband is coming to have a look around the home on Monday too, so he may be able to ask his questions too. I am quite excited but still a bit nervous.

How have you been?

Things I’m Proud Of Myself For This Week

Posted on by Astrid

This week was a struggle in some ways, but it was also good. I have been dealing with a lot of fear of joy again. I also find it hard to take credit for things I do well in case it means people expect me to always do as well. To turn these negative convictions around and focus on the positive, I am listing some things I am proud of myself for this week. I am joining today’s Word of the Day Challenge, because the word happens to be “Proud”. Okay, that was what inspired me, so I need to give the creators of the challenge credit here. I am also joining in with #LifeThisWeek.

1. I am proud of the progress I am making with polymer clay. I have been practising making layered cookie cutter shapes and can now do them on pasta machine setting three at least with Fimo Professional pretty successfully. I am still learning with Fimo Soft, as that’s a bit too sticky for my liking.

2. I am proud of myself for having been relatively physically active despite some pain. I am not giving in to every little ache, but I’m not overdoing it either.

3. I am proud of myself for not having run away or become actually aggressive when a fellow client was screaming at full volume for like an hour last Thursday. I mean, like I mentioned before, I did become a little threatening, but I didn’t hurt her, the staff or myself.

4. I am proud of myself for having survived today’s trip to Ikea, with most things we needed being very hard to find or out of stock, without getting very distressed. I managed to get a dustbin as well as a desk, or rather, separate legs and a top. When we got to the storage department, we couldn’t find the desk top but there was another, very similar one in its place. I wasn’t sure we’d got the right one, but we asked the shopping assistant and it was the one we needed.

5. I am proud of myself for having lost the weight I’d gained last month again this month. I stepped onto the scales again this morning and am exactly 72kg now. Of course, my weight has been fluctuating anyway, but it’s not gone up significantly at least.

What are you proud of yourself for?

#WeekendCoffeeShare (August 14, 2021)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this beautiful Saturday! The weather is much better than I’d expected yesterday that it’d be. It’s partly cloudy but warm and dry. I like it.

Today, I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. I just had my afternoon coffee, as seems common when I write these posts. However, I’m pretty sure there’s still some coffee left. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, firstly I’d share that I finally went to Lobith last weekend. It was good being there. As I mentioned yesterday, we got pizza (takeout). Other than that, we just chillaxed. Is that even a word?

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I texted my sister on Monday. She’d called me last week because her daughter had been referred to the orthopedic doctor for a leg length difference (her left leg is shorter than her right leg). Apparently, my niece also used her left leg less than her right. My sister wanted to know about the reasons I wear (or should wear) an AFO. I explained about the fact that I had a brain bleed and it’s from that, without mentioning cerebral palsy of course as my parents never mentioned that to me even though I’m pretty sure that’s what it’s called.

As it turns out, my niece has mild hip dysplasia and will be seen by a child orthopedic specialist in Amsterdam someday. Please all pray that the wait won’t be too long. My niece is nearly two-years-old, so it’s pretty late for corrective wear or so I’ve been told.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I’ve been doing quite well over the past week. I have mostly felt able to cope with my current situation okay. On Thursday, a fellow client was screaming for almost an hour on end. She does this every once in a while, yet for the first time I didn’t have an impulse to run away. I did get a little threatening towards the client, but the staff were able to calm me down.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I have been rather crafty of late again. I didn’t finish many projects, but I did practise polymer clay a lot. I also did make a melt and pour soap and massage oil for my friend who lives a few care homes down the road from me. It was her birthday yesterday. I came by at around 10:30AM to give her her presents and was invited to sit down in her garden for coffee and apple crumble. This was really nice.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share that tomorrow, I’m going to Ikea with my one-on-one to buy some new furniture for my room. My dining/crafting table is rather wobbly on its legs, so I want a new one. I also want a new second chair for my staff. My staff currently sit on a very clunky office chair with armrests, which for this reason can’t be pushed under the table. I want one similar to my own chair. I’m pretty sure I’ll be successful at finding both a desk or table and a chair. I’m also going to look at a mini fridge, as you may remember I wanted to buy one for in my room too. I don’t intend on actually buying it at Ikea, but I want to take a look at what it’s like so that I know if I have the right picture in my mind. Then I want to order it online next month when I get some extra money with my benefits.

How have you been?

Shark!

Posted on by Astrid

Stuffed Shark

So my husband came over today. I had originally planned on visiting him for the week-end, but then I’d have to go home to the care facility by ParaTransit taxi again. You get only 700 km at a reduced rate each year and the one-way drive from my husband to here is 72 km. This means that I can’t go each week for the rest of the year. So my husband proposed to come over for a visit.

We went to IKEA in the nearby city of Zwolle. I was looking for an office chair to use in my corner of our house. The way IKEA is constructed, you need to walk past a lot of other stuff before you can get to the desks and office chairs. This meant we could also check out the lounge chairs. I took my lounge chair (well it was originally my husband’s family’s but I used to sit in it all the time) to the care facility with me and would like a lounge chair at my husband’s house too. We couldn’t buy one right away, but we did see some good, some bad and some really rubbish ones.

At one point, we came across the soft toy aisle. My husband showed me a giant stuffed elephant and then an equally large stuffed shark. The littles were totally in awe! He asked us whether we wanted to buy the shark and we shouted “Yes!”. So we now have a stuffed shark. We took most of our stuffies to the care facility with us, so we’re very happy to have a soft toy at home with our husband too. We joked that of course we have our husband, but well, that’s different.

We also got some nice candy. Some of us were upset because we couldn’t have Swedish meatballs. Not that our husband said so – he didn’t explicitly say they were on offer, but he knew we knew about them -, but we had already had pancakes for lunch and figured it wasn’t healthy to have two meals. Everyone was content again when we got the candy.

We also ate out at a nice Indian restaurant. The food was delicious!