#WeekendCoffeeShare (July 31, 2021)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all on this rainy Saturday. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again, although yet again it’s a bit late for coffee at 8:30PM. It’s odd in this respect that I start my coffee share paragraphs with “If we were having coffee…” even though I rarely offer you coffee. Oh well. Let’s have a drink anyway and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee (or any other drink, but it feels off to have to repeat that every paragraph), I’d share that I haven’t been doing as well in the walking department this week as I did last week. I reached my goal of 10K steps only once this week and on a few other days, struggled to get beyond 5K steps. My foot hasn’t been cooperating and neither has the weather. It’s been quite rainy most days, although I managed to get a walk in between showers almost everyday.

If we were having coffee, I would share that I have the kindest yet weirdest mother-in-law. Earlier in the week, I asked her to be on the lookout for fine sanding paper to use to sand and buff my polymer clay ornaments. Not only did she drive by three different hardware stores in search for it, but she eventually ordered it online at Bol.com, even though I could as easily have ordered it there. I’m so grateful but I also feel a bit off now.

If we were having coffee, I would share that I have a slight cold, so I didn’t go to Lobith yet again. The self-administered antigen test for coronavirus I took was negative. Still, I want to avoid giving my husband whatever virus I do have, especially with him just having been vaccinated and this meaning he can’t be reliably tested for COVID.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I made the most delicious chicken, curry and fruit salad with my one-on-one staff yesterday. It was great having this for lunch.

If we were having coffee, I’d use the rest of this post to blather on about polymer clay, I guess. This evening, I have been practising making ornaments as independently as possible. I can roll out pretty even bases to cut shapes out of now, as well as cut out the shapes. I am however not able to remove the clay ornament from my cutting board workspace without damaging it yet. However, I’m confident that I’ll learn.

What have you been up to?

A Pink, Heart-Shaped Object #SoCS

Posted on by Astrid

SoCS Badge 2019-2020

A pink, heart-shaped object. That’s what VoiceOver Recognition said about the below picture. It’s my latest polymer clay work in progress. It’s still a work in progress because I intend on sanding it once I get my sanding paper and because I intend on adding an edge of a different color polymer clay, probably purple.

I have been really obsessing over polymer clay lately. I love it. That being said, I keep finding imperfections with my work. This one turned out okay, but the back is a little raw from the parchment paper I used to bake it on. I guess I should’ve used cardstock, but I forgot about that.

Overall, I’m really loving polymer clay though. I think I will develop some level of skill in it one day eventually. This evening, I may try to create a shape without asking for help as much as I did with this one. After all, I don’t need to bake my creations right away and can let them sit there to wait for me to decide whether I want to use them or knead the clay back into a ball.

Back to VoiceOver Recognition. It’s a great feature. However, with my previous creation, it guessed the colors all wrong. You see, the below object is purple and pink and VO said it’s black and red. I think that might’ve been the lighting conditions though. Or something. Not sure.

That polymer clay work, not quite in progress anymore, didn’t turn out as well as I’d hoped. Of course, I recognized that the snake edge I used around the heart shape is all uneven, but it’s also unevenly attached to the heart. I don’t like it, but I probably could not have reused this clay anymore anyway, since the colors had already attached to one another. That is, I could have mixed the colors and tried to see what color got out of it, but well, maybe it’d turn out all brownish. Oh well, now it’s a crooked heart with an uneven snake around it, but it’s a learning curve, right?

This post was written for Stream of Consciousness Saturday (#SoCS), for which the prompt today is “The last photo you took”.

Gratitude List (July 30, 2021) #TToT

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all, happy Friday! I’m joining Ten Things of Thankful (#TToT) today with a gratitude post. Let’s get started.

1. I am so grateful my benefits arrived. Oh well, I spent a significant amount of money already on crafting supplies and my yearly premium subscription to Day One, a diary app. I have once again resolved not to make unnecessary expenses for at least a week. I am however grateful that, even if I do end up spending some money, I won’t go broke anytime within the foreseeable future.

2. I am grateful my staff try to find me things I need or want for free or at a heavily discounted price. For example, one staff was able to get a music pillow for just €1. Another staff gave me some cookie cutters and ziploc bags she didn’t use and her daughter’s old duvet cover. Oh, it feels off to say this right after I’ve told you about my spending my benefits money on crafting supplies.

3. I am grateful to retain my creative mojo. I have really been loving doing some crafts lately, particularly polymer clay and some jewelry-making too.

4. I am grateful that my creative juices flowing means I have something else to talk about online besides my disabilities and health conditions. I am truly loving perseverating on polymer clay in particular.

5. I am grateful for organized storage shelves. Okay, I think I decluttered them a month or so ago already, but with my new crafting supplies, I had to do it again. I’m really satisfied with the space I created without even too much throwing out.

6. I am grateful for pasta salad. My day activities staff and I made this for lunch on Tuesday and there was still some left on Wednesday.

7. I am grateful I haven’t gained any weight in the past week despite not walking as much and despite the pasta salad and other treats. In fact, I lost 200 grams.

8. I am grateful for a nice fill-in community psychiatric nurse. My regular CPN will be on vacation when I was originally next supposed to see her in two weeks, so the other one will fill in. She joined me and my regular CPN for our appointment on Wednesday and she seems nice.

9. I am grateful for a nice new student staff. She is already older, so it’s easier for me to trust her than the young interns.

10. I am grateful my husband is now fully vaccinated. He got his second shot yesterday and he seems to be doing okay.

What are you grateful for?

First Steps With Polymer Clay

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’ve been pretty busy lately, but in a good way. My day activities staff ordered some packages of Fimo soft polymer clay, which arrived in the mail Tuesday afternoon. We went round for a trip to Action that afternoon too to get some other supplies. I was pleasantly surprised at how little they cost, as once again of course I bought far more than I had on my grocery list.

That evening, I set out to work with my one-on-one staff. I wanted to create a pink (the color of Fimo soft is 22 “Raspberry”) flower with a green (color 53 “Tropical Green”) center. So I rolled out my Fimo. Of course, not having checked all the beginner’s instructions for polymer clay, I used a wooden roller pin. Ah well, having used it once can’t hurt, I hope and my acrylic roller should arrive tomorrow.

Then I cut out the flower shape with a cookie cutter that was in my Christmas present from day activities last year. I can’t remember how many times I had to try before I was relatively satisfied with how even it turned out. Later, I learned about burnishing your clay before baking.

I randomly formed the green ball center and put it on top of the flower. To make it sit in the flower itself, I later learned, you need a ball stylus. Mine should arrive on Friday.

When I was inspired to do polymer clay by this post by Ann, I read that Ann used a straw to cut a hole in the polymer clay. That would make the hole a little too large for my liking and, besides, I don’t have plastic straws. Instead, I used a Rainbow loom needle that came in the surprise beading package I got for my birthday last month. To be honest, it turned out okay, though of course the pros on Facebook tell me I shouldn’t have made the hole before baking.

Then I baked the clay. I did read up instructions on not baking it for too short a time, so I baked my clay for about 35 minutes. It was a bit of a struggle finding the right equipement to bake it in, since I didn’t want the clay to fly around the oven or get too close to the heating element. Eventually, it worked though.

After I posted the hardened product on Facebook, I got a lot of tips on how to handle it better before baking. Ah, oops. Better luck next time.

I had decided beforehand that I was going to experiment with decorating my ornament like Ann had. The first products I came across at Action, were glitter and metallic markers rather than glitter glue pens. I found glitter glue later though and decided to buy both. This ornament is decorated using one of the glitter markers. I did the circling of the green center myself, so you may see a slight spotting on the edge of the actual center itself. After this mishap, I asked my staff to accentuate the edge for me.

What do you think of my first attempt at using polymer clay?

Linking up with the Creatively Crafty Link Party and Party in Your PJ’s.

Online Window Shopping #WotW

Posted on by Astrid

Hi again everyone. Today I’m joining Word of the Week. The idea is to sum up your week in a word or phrase. Today’s phrase of the week is: online window shopping.

You see, like I mentioned last week, I had resolved not to spend any more unnecessary money until my benefits arrived on the 23rd (last Friday). I actually kept this promise to myself and didn’t buy anything, but over the week, I did have a lot of ideas of what I wanted to buy once my benefits arrived. Then when they did, it was almost the weekend, so I decided not to spend my money yet because my packages wouldn’t be sent out till after the weekend anyway.

Most of my online window shopping involved crafty stuff. Like I mentioned yesterday, I got it in my head that I wanted to try latch hooking again. Thankfully, my day activities staff remembered that a client at my pre-COVID group at the day center used to do this but no longer did. She went looking for the supplies and, on Thursday, I had a bit of canvas, a latch hook and a whole lot of yarn. The yarn was cut too short for me to work with right now, but I had some yarn and lace in my room too. Learning the craft again was hard, but I eventually managed to make some knots.

I also found a really cool polymer clay ornament while browsing some other blogs and this got me thinking of restarting polymer clay. Like jewelry-making and latch hooking, I did this in the past but threw my supplies away because I couldn’t manage the craft fully independently. Now that I let go of that ambition and actually have the one-on-one support I need, I am really thinking of restarting the craft. This blogger used an embossing folder and glitter glue to decorate her ornament, which had me looking at card making stores again too. I’m pretty sure that’s the only craft I’ll never pick up again.

I also did some online window shopping that didn’t involve crafts. Like, on Thursday I found out that NVDA, a free screen reader I occasionally use on my PC, now works with the Vocalizer voices I’m used to with JAWS and VoiceOver (my regular PC and iPhone screen readers). I immediately downloaded the add-on, only to realize that of course I’ll need a license. I mean, NVDA may be free, but the Vocalizer voices are not. A license costs €99. I’m still undecided as to whether I want to invest in it or wait for JAWS to fix the one major bug that leads me to using NVDA, that is, the inability to use the WordPress block editor with it.

Lastly, on Friday, I got talking to my assigned home staff about stim toys. Specifically, chewable jewelry. I initially thought that only U.S.-based sites sold them, but it turns out several of my fellow clients use them. I looked up chewable jewelry and found several online stores in the Netherlands that sell them. Of course, they’re marketing them mostly for children, so I may need one for heavier chewers. I haven’t yet decided on buying it though.

How would you sum up your week?

Word of the Week linky

#WeekendCoffeeShare (July 24, 2021)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this late Saturday evening. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare even though it’s rather late for coffee here at nearly 9PM. Besides, I had green tea this evening. I can of course still make you a Senseo, although with the amount of coffee stains in and on my coffee maker I wouldn’t recommend it. So I guess a glass of water or a soft drink should suffice. I hope that’s alright. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, firstly I’d share that I’m so grateful the weather has been much milder over the past week than it was the week before. Of course, we here in Raalte weren’t personally affected by the floods either and damage control down in Limburg is still ongoing. However, the weather here has been truly beautiful.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that, thanks to the weather as well as my feet cooperating, I have been able to get in a lot of walking lately. I got in over 11K steps each day of the week so far.

I am still not sure I’ll sign up for Steptember, the annual fundraiser for the cerebral palsy charity this coming September. The aim is to raise funds while aiming for 10K steps each day, regardless of whether this is done while walking, wheeling, biking, etc. Last year, I did participate, but I didn’t really like the pressure I put onto myself by signing up.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I’ve been really crafty over the past week. I have been making some new bracelets. One of them, I sent to my mother. She received it in the post today and was happy with it.

I also picked up trying to do latch hooking again. This is a yarn craft for making rugs etc. I learned this at the blindness rehabilitation center back in 2005 and tried to pick it up again briefly in the psych hospital, but was too easily frustrated for it back then. So far, I am not 100% sure I understand the technique again yet, but I’m confident that ultimately I’ll learn.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I’m truly grateful for all the comments on my blog over the past few days. It makes me feel so happy to see that others read and appreciate my writing.

If we were having coffee, lastly I would announce that tomorrow is my third blogiversary! That is, it’s the third anniversary of my having (re)started this blog. I say “re” because I used this domain (or the WordPress.com subdomain at least) back in 2011 too. I have been on WordPress for over fourteen years and have had an online diary ever since 2002. I still keep learning and growing everyday. I am so, so grateful that, contrary to what some “influencers” say, blogging isn’t dead at all. I hope it never dies.

How have you been?

Currently (July 2021)

Posted on by Astrid

I usually don’t participate in the Currently linkup, in part because the prompts don’t always inspire me and in part because the posting day coincides with the Insecure Writer’s Support Group. I still follow Anne’s blog in my feed reader though and today, I decided to check out her post. It’s quite an easy one this month, so here goes.

Eating

Way too much. When I would initially be prescribed my currently latest medication, topiramate, the psychiatrist told me that it may cause me a decreased appetite. So far, not so. It’s not a problem though, since, even though I’m overweight, my weight is stable.

Today, my day activities staff took me to the local marketplace and we bought fish and chicken wings for lunch and I bought a giant waffle called “stroopwafel”.

Now in case you’re thinking I’m chronically overeating, I normally eat a pretty balanced diet.

Feeling

Okay’ish. I’ve had a few rough weeks, as regular readers of my blog will know. However, I still find moments of joy, particularly when I’m crafting.

Going

To Lobith. For those visiting from the linkup, I live in a care facility in Raalte, Netherlands. My husband lives in Lobith, about a ninety-minute drive away. I normally go to Lobith about twice a month, but I went there both last weekend and the weekend before for my birthday celebrations.

Ordering

Most recently, some jewelry-making supplies. However, I already have my eyes on a number of relatively affordable essential oils too. I mean, oils that would cost over €50 for a 10ml bottle normally but I can get for €20 at some stores apparently. Think Roman chamomile. I know, it’s probably not the best quality, but my wallet has a will of its own. I need to restock my sweet almond oil too, as I just used most of what I had left for a massage oil yesterday.

Realizing

That I may need to stop evaluating my life and start living. This is sort of the take-home message I got from my psychiatric nurse practitioner at my last appointment on Monday. I was talking about possibly wanting to find myself another care home and compulsively looking for it. I mean, checking out care agencies’ websites on a daily basis for suitable homes. This really isn’t helping, since even if I need or want to leave my current placement, I’ll need guidance on finding myself another place to live. As my nurse practitioner said, I’m evaluating my life each day again rather than seeing each day as just the day it is.

Unfortunately, part of me is feeling as though his message means I need to accept a rather difficult living situation just because it isn’t time to evaluate yet. I can see his point about not checking out care agency websites daily, but the compulsion is also hard to break, as this is what I’ve been doing pretty much my entire adult life. For those not aware: I lived in one temporary placement or another from age nineteen until I moved to the current care facility in 2019. It’s only natural that I cannot believe that this is where I can stay.

What’s up with you?

Jewelry-Making #WotW

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today I’m once again joining Word of the Week. I already shared some of my experiences from the week with you all on Friday. Today, I want to focus on an important positive aspect of the week: jewelry-making. Like I said last week, I got a lot of supplies from my parents for my birthday. I also bought some new supplies later this week.

The actual jewelry-making process is still sometimes hard for me due to my being blind and having mild cerebral palsy. I am making progress though in figuring out what works for me.

First, on Wednesday, I made a bracelet for my day activities staff. She had her birthday that day so was off, but my assigned support staff from the home came to sub. I did all the threading by myself and tried to tie the knot too.

On Thursday and Friday, I was even busier making jewelry. I made my first necklace in a long time. It didn’t turn out as good as I’d hoped and I don’t have a photo, but it is nice enough.

I also made a football bracelet for a fellow client. I originally wanted to make something in the colors of his favorite club, but I didn’t have red and white beads. Instead, I chose green for the grass and added a football charm. This client has his birthday next month I think, so I already decided to make him something in the club colors then.

Lastly, I enthusiastically decided to make a necklace for my niece. She is 21-months-old and I had no idea what the appropriate age for wearing jewelry is. I also added acrylic charms that I later realized she might pull off and put into her mouth.

I texted my sister and she said two to three years is the recommended age for necklaces. I thought of keeping the necklace for my niece’s birthday, but eventually decided to give it anyway when my sister and her family visited me yesterday. I’m confident my sister will be able to keep it safe until my niece is ready for it.

How would you sum up your week?

Word of the Week linky

Creating Lately: A Bracelet, Body Butter and Lip Scrub

Posted on by Astrid

After a difficult week two weeks ago and lots of frustration at not finding meaning in my activities lately, last week I finally found my creative mojo again. I’ve been pretty busy crafting and DIY’ing over the week.

First, I want to show you all this bracelet I created last Friday. It is simple and I didn’t even do all the work by myself. I mean, I struggled a lot putting the purple beads onto the wire, because my left hand kept spasming and I needed my right hand to keep the wire straight. I tried reversing my hands and letting my staff hold the wire, but it wouldn’t work. Still, I managed to thread some of the purple beads and all of the roses anyway.

I also have been doing a lot of body care creating lately. Last Monday, I made a basic body butter. I used coconut oil, sweet almond oil and cocoa butter. I added in a few drops of coconut fragrance oil for the scent.

I am considering getting a talking kitchen scale, so that I can weigh out my ingredients myself. Not that we used a scale this time – we just guessed how much we’d need.

Lastly, on Thursday, I made a lip scrub. I used coconut oil and cocoa butter for the base and added plain white sugar, honey and vanilla extract. This time, I did most of the measuring myself, even though I still mostly had to guess how much we’d need.

I had made a lip scrub once before, but that one didn’t turn out as thick as we’d wanted. This one is still thinner than most lip balms I’m used to making, but then again it’s a lip scrub, not a lip balm.

I am really loving looking at bath and body product recipes. I am not as good with them yet as I’d like to be, but I like to think I’m improving.

With respect to jewelry, I don’t look up tutorials, as they’re usually far too difficult for me to follow. I just create what I think I can.

What have you been crafting lately?

Roles I Want to Play in the Future

Posted on by Astrid

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about the roles I play. This post was inspired by the first prompt in the journaling workbook The Year of You. The second prompt is to write about the roles you would like to play in the future. Here goes.

1. I want to be a student. I don’t mean that I want to go back to college full-time. That place has been passed and I’ll never revisit it. However, I would definitely like to study at the Open University or some other distance-learning college again. I considered signing up for the developmental psychology course at the OU for this fall. I’m not sure I’m ready though.

2. I want to be a writer. Of course, I am a blogger already and I have one piece of mine published in an anthology. However, I really want to publish more. I’m not so sure I’ll ever write my memoir as I was some years ago, but some short pieces should be doable.

3. I want to be a volunteer. I really hope to do some type of community service, ideally putting my knowledge of disability and mental health to use. For example, maybe I’ll do a recovery course again and maybe in the future even lead one.

4. I want to be an advocate. I am already with this blog, but I really want to be more of a voice for the disability community in the Netherlands.

5. I want to be a crafter. That is, I want to be able to find a hobby that I enjoy. I no longer have it as a goal that I’ll be able to do it independently.

6. I want to be a guide dog owner. I really hope to be able to get a guide dog sometime in the future. I’m not sure that is a realistic goal, but I can dream, right? I mean, ideally, I’d have a psychiatric service dog/guide dog combo. That would be awesome!

That’s it so far. Last year, I might’ve added wanting to be a homeowner, but that goal can be crossed off.

What roles would you like to play in the future?