I usually don’t participate in the Currently linkup, in part because the prompts don’t always inspire me and in part because the posting day coincides with the Insecure Writer’s Support Group. I still follow Anne’s blog in my feed reader though and today, I decided to check out her post. It’s quite an easy one this month, so here goes.
Eating
Way too much. When I would initially be prescribed my currently latest medication, topiramate, the psychiatrist told me that it may cause me a decreased appetite. So far, not so. It’s not a problem though, since, even though I’m overweight, my weight is stable.
Today, my day activities staff took me to the local marketplace and we bought fish and chicken wings for lunch and I bought a giant waffle called “stroopwafel”.
Now in case you’re thinking I’m chronically overeating, I normally eat a pretty balanced diet.
Feeling
Okay’ish. I’ve had a few rough weeks, as regular readers of my blog will know. However, I still find moments of joy, particularly when I’m crafting.
Going
To Lobith. For those visiting from the linkup, I live in a care facility in Raalte, Netherlands. My husband lives in Lobith, about a ninety-minute drive away. I normally go to Lobith about twice a month, but I went there both last weekend and the weekend before for my birthday celebrations.
Ordering
Most recently, some jewelry-making supplies. However, I already have my eyes on a number of relatively affordable essential oils too. I mean, oils that would cost over €50 for a 10ml bottle normally but I can get for €20 at some stores apparently. Think Roman chamomile. I know, it’s probably not the best quality, but my wallet has a will of its own. I need to restock my sweet almond oil too, as I just used most of what I had left for a massage oil yesterday.
Realizing
That I may need to stop evaluating my life and start living. This is sort of the take-home message I got from my psychiatric nurse practitioner at my last appointment on Monday. I was talking about possibly wanting to find myself another care home and compulsively looking for it. I mean, checking out care agencies’ websites on a daily basis for suitable homes. This really isn’t helping, since even if I need or want to leave my current placement, I’ll need guidance on finding myself another place to live. As my nurse practitioner said, I’m evaluating my life each day again rather than seeing each day as just the day it is.
Unfortunately, part of me is feeling as though his message means I need to accept a rather difficult living situation just because it isn’t time to evaluate yet. I can see his point about not checking out care agency websites daily, but the compulsion is also hard to break, as this is what I’ve been doing pretty much my entire adult life. For those not aware: I lived in one temporary placement or another from age nineteen until I moved to the current care facility in 2019. It’s only natural that I cannot believe that this is where I can stay.
What’s up with you?
A Multitude of Musings 
Those were good and I’m glad you’re enjoying your crafting, you are very talented.
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Thank you for saying that! 🙂
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Nice to have you join in! I always pick the prompts the month in advance in order to give people time to prepare, but you’re right, sometimes they just don’t speak to me in the moment when the time arrives… That’s wonderful you could travel to celebrate your birthday, and enjoy a stroopwafel as well. My mother-in-law is Dutch and introduced me to these treats – delicious! Hope you will be able to continue to find moments of joy and living in the present. Things I am always working on too.
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Thank you so much for commenting. Yes, living in the present is an important skill that I’m definitely working on. I’m so happy your mother-in-law introduced you to stroopwafels. Is yoour son’s name chosen after a Dutch relative too? He’s named Hendrik, right, which isn’t a common English name.
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Oh, I have such fond memories of stroopwafels from when I lived in The Netherlands. I think I too would be happier if I just lived my life and recognized the good in every day rather than always trying to figure out where I’m going. Those are some very wise words.
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Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I’m so glad I was able to send you off on a trip down memory lane.
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Greetings from a Tropical island called Sri Lanka. I was quite taken up with your post and read a bit to try and get to know you. Am glad you are doing things to keep yourself occupied with crafting. Life is harder for some more than others. And whatever you feel just feel free to be yourself and don’t be too hard on yourself. I do have to admit that I over-evaluate myself too. this harms my relationship with my husband and the few others who are in my inner circle. May be because I feel that I have to do a lot and be better at everything etc etc. But just like you, I have told myself that I will learn to live a little and take each day as it comes by without having any expectations. That way I can enjoy what the day unfolds for me. Hope this thought will help you Dear Astrid. Xx. Dew
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Thank you so very much for sharing your perspective. That means a lot to me and is definitely helpful.
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I am not usually into essential oils and scented oils (too many people around me who are sensitive to scents) but sweet almond oil is heavenly! Be well and have a lovely day!
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I understand about sensitivity to scents. Glad you like sweet almond oil though, it’s great for soothing skin.
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I agree with your nurse practitioner. Its time you believed that you are safe, your current living arrangement is where you belong, no one wants to get rid of you or kick you out of there. Xx
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Thanks for saying that, I agree with you but it is hard.
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