Hometowns

Posted on by Astrid

Today’s topic for Tell Us About… is “hometowns”. I remember having to choose my hometown on Facebook and apparently it’s the city I was born in. That would be Rotterdam. I only lived there for nine years before moving to Apeldoorn for my mother’s work. Honestly, if I had to choose a town I’d consider “home” it’d be that, even though I don’t care for the rather narrow-minded people who live here. I guess the Apeldoorn area is only “home” to me because I’ve lived here the longest and I’d probably have felt much happier had I stayed in Rotterdam for life. No-one can be sure though.

When I lived in Apeldoorn between 1996 and 2007, I lived in two different neighborhoods. The one I lived in with my parents was a kid-friendly neighborhood built in the 1970s. One of my father’s acquaintances called it an unrban planning train wreck, because the streets were so disorganized you’d get lost even when you knew your way around.

The training home neighborhood was built in the late 1990s to early 2000s. My street was called Boomgaard, which translates to “Orchard” in English. Yes, all streets in that neighborhood had weird names like “Silent Garden”, “Banister”, etc. Then again, the street names in my childhood neighborhood in Apeldoorn were almost equally weird.

As a child and teen, I often went shopping in downtown Apeldoorn with my Mom and sister. I can’t say I enjoyed it (except for going to McDonald’s at the end), but it was manageable.

Since my parents also moved out of Apeldoorn, I didn’t revisit the city after moving to Nijmegen in 2007 until I moved back to the area when moving into the institution last year. One thing I noticed, and it’s only recently dawned upon me how bad it is, is how many brick-and-mortar stores have closed. A telling example is my mentioning to my spouse recently that The Body Shop has a store in Apeldoorn that we might be able to check out. To be sure, I did a store search on the website and guess what? It’s gone! I could really have known, since half the store buildings in Orangerie, the main shopping center, are empty. This really saddens me.

Hello Monday (July 24, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining Hello Monday for a weekend recap. The weekend was a true mixed bag, but those who know how much I’ve been struggling please do read on till the end for some exciting news.

Saturday was a truly crappy day. I got a total stranger as my one-on-one for the morning. This is not unusual, but the crappiness started as soon as I voiced my discomfort with her being a total stranger. Rather than try to comfort me, she was like: “What about if I leave you alone till coffee time?” Coffee time is at 11AM and it was just past 10AM. I said no, because despite what the staff here seem to think my one-on-one isn’t a mere suggestion. Fifteen minutes later, she was like: “I haven’t had breakfast yet. I need to grab some food, see you at coffee time, okay?” I went to the communal room, where my assigned staff happened to be, who set this straight with my would-be one-on-one. After that, we played some card games, had coffee and then she quickly decided to swap places with another staff. He’s not a stranger. Not someone I get along with, but at least I know what to expect of him (which is very little, to be honest).

In the evening, there was a staff shortage until 6PM and of course I was asked to come to the communal room to unburden the staff (his literal words). Then I got a staff I barely knew once again and only could play card games once again.

Sunday was better. I did get an unfamiliar one-on-one in the morning, but at least my spouse came by for a visit. We once again drove to Apeldoorn for lunch at Backwerk and hopped into Holland and Barrett for some essential oils. My spouse got a discount card even though we rarely shop there.

In the evening, my new support coordinator – did I share my old one left the agency a few weeks ago? – was my one-on-one for an hour. We went for a walk and discussed some aspects of my care, both unaware of the E-mail landing in my inbox at 7PM. My mother-in-law had forwarded it to me. It was originally sent to her at 11AM that morning. The subject line read something like: Painting Astrid’s new room.

The E-mail started with something like: “I am [name], support coordinator for Astrid’s new care home, [home].” The person writing the E-mail then went on to tell my mother-in-law that, when moving, a client can have one wall in their room painted in a desired color, and which color would I like?

I had heard my assigned staff mention this home among the possible homes considered for me, but I had absolutely no idea I had been accepted into it. I don’t know anything about the home other than what the care agency’s website says, which isn’t to be trusted due to the fact that they make things look better than they are. However, it isn’t really like I care. Any small improvement over the care I receive here is greatly appreciated.

Today, I confirmed with my support coordinator that I am indeed moving to this home. When the move will be, is not yet known for sure, but I’ll find out about two weeks in advance and be able to take a look around a few days before the actual move.

And for those who are wondering, I chose lilac as the color for my wall.

Lovin’ Lately (July 14, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s been forever, probably years, since I shared a compilation of my favorite things. With my birthday just over two weeks ago and all the lovely presents I got, I thought it’s about time. I also discovered some other lovely things. Here goes. I am joining in with Friday Favorites.

1. Lots of polymer clay. Plus some lovely cutters to use with it. I got twelve small, one-ounce blocks of Fimo from my spouse, as well as four two-ounce blocks of Premo and a large block of white Premo. I already opened the Premo in the color 18k gold. Unfortunately, the pieces I created using it, were ruined in the oven.

From my parents, I got a box full of 24 small packets of a budget brand of polymer clay. I also got several cutters. One of them was a unicorn and I’ve really been loving creating pendants using it. Here is the first one, done using the budget brand polymer clay. I was convinced I’d used lilac clay, but it’s clearly blue and that’s not because the clay changed color in the oven. Apparently my staff with whom I did the pendant is slightly color blind.

2. Beads. I got some lovely glass beads from my mother-in-law. Some of them are in the shape of animals, such as butterflies, pigs and ladybugs. My spouse uses the ladybug emoji as a nickname (nick-emoji?) for me, so these are extra fitting.

3. Podcasts. Because as of iOS 16.5, my Braille display freezes when using book apps, including the default iPhone one, I’ve had to find other ways to occupy myself. I started looking at podcasts. A favorite is the Enneagram & Coffee podcast. I especially loved the episode on attachment theory and the Enneagram, which I listened to just a day or two after writing my post on attachment issues last Sunday. I was right to think most Enneagram type Fours lean towards anxious attachment. So do I.

4. My new nightgowns. I bought them at Hema, a department store my spouse and I visit almost each week we’re in Apeldoorn, a few weeks ago. Both of them are so comfy and they look good too.

5. White chocolate peanut rocks. Not sure if these exist in the English-speaking world too, but peanut rocks are basically chunks of chocolate filled with peanuts. They usually come in dark and milk chocolate varieties, but I’d never seen them in white chocolate form. Until last week, that is. Since my favorite type of chocolate is white chocolate (and yes, I know chocoholics say white chocolate isn’t real chocolate), I just had to buy them. And oh boy, are they delish!

What have you been lovin’ lately?

Share Your World (July 3, 2023) #SYW

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today I’m joining Share Your World. The questions for this week are so intriguing. Let’s go.

1. Do you own your own home, rent, or something else?
It’s complicated. While my spouse and I are homeowners, I don’t live in our home. Instead, I live in an institution. We actually went to the solicitor to sign the contract to our house in Lobith in the same week I moved into my old care home.

2. What is your favorite “go to” food when you’re feeling under par?
Licorice. I love indulging in it whenever I’m in need of a pick-me-up, but also when I’m feeling under the weather.

3. Do you indulge in retail therapy?
Absolutely, but for me, online window shopping is almost as comforting as actually spending money when I’m in a bad mood. Currently, I’m loving looking at clay cutters, jewelry-making supplies and other crafty stuff, but I’m restraining myself from buying any until my mother-in-law has visited me, because she might bring me some of the things I could’ve bought otherwise.

4. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Four pairs of walking shoes, three of which are so damaged they really shouldn’t be worn anymore but I still wear them because I don’t want to buy a new pair of walking shoes every month. My orthopedic shoes. Two pairs of gym shoes. My horseback riding shoes. Does that make eight?

Gratitude:
Take pride in the person you are, you are unique.
I agree 100%. How could I not, as an Enneagram type 4?

The Wednesday HodgePodge (June 14, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s been a while since I last touched the blog. Honestly, I haven’t been feeling inspired. Today is no exception. I’m joining the Wednesday HodgePodge once again. Here goes.

1. What does productivity look like to you?
I honestly don’t really know. I don’t do to-do lists, but I do have goals. For example, I’d really like to blog at least three times a week.

2. What was your fondest (or one of your fondest) memory of High School?
Participating in the Model European Parliament debating contest, in which students pretend to be EU representatives. Especially because I was chosen by a student committee, not the teacher. The students were in the year above me, mind you. I don’t think my classmates would ever have picked me. Neither, it turned out, would the teacher responsible for the contest and he didn’t shy away from admitting that it was because of my blindness. That, he also admitted was the reason I didn’t make it beyond the provincial level. I don’t mind. Going to Arnhem for a week to debate the European Union’s most pressing issues (I was on the foreign affairs committee) was cool. So was partying at night and getting tipsy on two beers, the most alcohol I’ve ever had. And trying a few puffs of a joint. Which, since I didn’t smoke, did nothing. For which I’m intensely grateful, since I later found out about the mental health risks of cannabis.

3. What did you do the summer after High School?
Nothing in particular until I started at the blindness training center in late August.

4. June 14th is National Strawberry Shortcake Day…are you a fan, and if so will you celebrate? How do you make yours? Have you been strawberry picking? If so what do you do with all those berrries?
I have no idea what shortcake even tastes like, since it’s not a thing here in the Netherlands. I haven’t been strawberry picking recently either.

5. What’s something you always splurge on?
My latest crafty interest, so it’s been polymer clay for several years. I am quite embarrassed to admit that, ten years ago, during the year I started crafting, I probably spent at least €1000, if not more, on card making supplies. And this was a time when I couldn’t sensibly afford to spend €100 a month on things I didn’t need. Besides, I ended up throwing most of my supplies away after that year.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I recently bought new AirPods. The old ones had an annoying beep in the right earbud, and since I had given up on the perfect noise canceling headphones, I decided to settle on AirPods instead. The good news is I actually figured out how to pair them with my PC.

Hello Monday (May 22, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s been nearly a week since I touched the blog. Honestly, the week has been less than stellar, but the weekend was lovely. Let me share. I’m joining Hello Monday.

On Friday evening, I finally decided that, screw it, whether I’d get a staff whom I can trust to help me with my polymer clay or not, I wanted to clay. I put my clay box on the chair we don’t normally use, which did mean having to put several things that had been placed on top of the box on the floor. “Why is everything on the floor?” the staff asked me when entering my room. I replied that I wanted to create a polymer clay unicorn. “You do you,” the staff replied.

At first, she seemed rather uninterested and barely did the things I asked her up front to help me with. Eventually though, she did warm up to the idea of us working on a unicorn and she did give me feedback. The unicorn we created – and which I finished on Saturday morning with another staff – is the first one that has wings. It still needs to go in the oven and I intend to add glitter to the wings too.

On Saturday, I finished the unicorn, went for a walk and played a game of dice with a fellow resident here at the care home. Then, my spouse arrived to pick me up to drive to our house in Lobith. On the way there, we went into the carwash (€15 for a mediocre washing!) and got takeout Chinese food.

We had a relaxing evening at home. At around 10PM, my spouse suggested we go for a drive, as the car needed to be moved out of the street. After all, the town fair would be starting on Sunday and there’d be a procession going through our street. I forgot my passport, so we needed to stay in the Netherlands (Lobith is close by the German border). At one point, my spouse suggested we go to Burger King for ice cream, but it was closed. Next question: “Do we drive to Duiven to go to McDonald’s or go home to sleep?” I chose to go to McDonald’s. We each had a McFlurry. I had the Twix one with caramel sauce, which was lovely.

On Sunday, with the car out of the way, we could have a lie-in. I slept in until about 9:30AM.

Several weeks ago, I’d bought white jeans with my staff. I wore them for the first time on Sunday and at breakfast, they had coffee stains in them already. It looked rather gross (I’ll spare you my spouse’s description). For this reason, we decided to go clothes shopping yet again. We, like usual, went to Apeldoorn. I bought darker beige jeans.

We also stopped by Holland & Barrett, a wellness store, to look at nothing in particular. We left with six bottles of essential oils though. Initially, when looking at them, my spouse said: “Just tell me what you want, I’m not going to name them all, as they have everything.” I asked for clary sage. After looking for about ten minutes, my spouse at first concluded they didn’t have clary sage, then started naming some oils: “Clary sage, nutmeg, …” I said: “Clary sage, that’s the one I’m looking for!” I also got vanilla and jasmine oils. Don’t tell me these are usually either absolutes or oleoresins, not essential oils, I know. I am not sure about the quality of Holland & Barrett’s oils, but I don’t use them for any therapeutic benefits anyway. We also got a blend of roses and a blend of wildflowers just because one of my oils was one plus one free and the other was second at half price. Lastly, my spouse got rosemary.

We also obviously stopped by Backwerk to have lunch. I got a sausage roll.

In the evening, I started looking all over the Internet for blends to try with my new oils. Of course, I had had clary sage before, so only vanilla and jasmine were new, but I love all the possibilities. I created a blend in my diffuser this morning: equal amounts clary sage, vanilla, sandalwood and frankincense. This evening, I joked to my spouse that the blend made me high, because it’s so very calming. I love it though!

Currently (May 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I remember joining in with Currently every once in a while way back many years ago, but then the person who used to host the meme discontinued it and I never found it again. Now, I’ve rediscovered it. The Currently linky is a meme in which we share what we’re currently up to based on five monthly verb prompts. Here goes.

Loving:
First up is smoothie making. I am loving experimenting with ingredients, such as instant coffee and cocoa powder. One smoothie, in which I added just a little (or a lot!) too much instant coffee, turned out rather bad. One of my fellow residents still claimed she loved it though. We’re not officially allowed to give each other things, but since I just can’t make just one smoothie serving and she’s the one who enjoys my smoothies most, I make sure to consider her first when I have some left over.

Next are my tactile dice. I had and probably still have them at my and my husband’s house in Lobith but they’re probably down in some junk closet, so I decided to order new ones. I have been loving playing the game of yahtzee with the same fellow resident.

Picturing:
I will be going clothes shopping with my staff tomorrow and am kind of imagining how that will be going, both positively and negatively.

Craving:
I just had lunch when I started writing this post, so nothing at that moment. Now that I’m finishing up this post at 3PM, I’m craving white chocolate. I just hit my lowest weight since my wedding (in 2011) this morning and am really pleased with it though.

Wishing:
To find a more suitable care home. It’s been really hectic here at my current care home and I’m pretty sure the powers-that-be are testing my limits. For those visiting from the linky: I reside at a care home for people with mild intellectual disability and significant challenging behavior. I am supposed to get one-on-one support for most of the day, but this often doesn’t happen because others need or are supposed to need more care. I finally got the okay to be looking for another care home last March, but of course this can be a long process.

Collecting:
Smoothie recipes, of course. I downloaded several smoothie recipe collection books off Bookshare, the accessible book service for the blind or dyslexic. I don’t have all the ingredients for any one smoothie, unfortunately, but like I said, I’m trying to experiment.

Hello Monday (April 3, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hello everyone. I’m joining Hello Monday again this evening. Let me share about my weekend.

On Saturday, my assigned staff supported me for part of the morning. We made a melt and pour soap in the shape of a heart. Sadly, I don’t have a picture and I gave it to my husband. I added gold-colored mica powder to the soap and lavender and ylang ylang essential oils.

I also created an essential oil blend for in my diffuser. I used pink grapefruit, bergamot and ylang ylang essential oils in this blend.

I did ask my assigned staff to inquire about my orthopedic shoes. This has been an issue for at least two years: I started out with supportive insoles, then an ankle foot orthosis either with or without semi-orthopedic shoes and finally now orthopedic shoes, but they still don’t fit. The shoemaker is frustrated, wondering when they’ll finally be good enough. Well, when they fit. Honestly, I am skeptical about the method they used to create an image of my feet: not using putty for a “mold” but using an iPad to create digital images, a method they’d used on a client of my care agency for the first time. My guess is this method requires some level of understanding I don’t possess but am assumed to possess based on my expressive language. Anyway, I don’t care how much of a bother I am, but I’m not accepting the reality as it is now, ie. my needing to buy new regular shoes every two months due to them being damaged from the way I walk. If they can’t fit me for orthopedic shoes, they’ve got to find a way to fix my shoe issue some other way.

Saturday was a good day overall. I was supported by two staff – my assigned staff and another – I get along with very well during the morning shift and my day schedule wasn’t disrupted. For the evening shift, three out of four staff were staff I don’t really get along with and I ended up being supported by two of them. I didn’t mind though, as my day schedule wasn’t disrupted and I did get to do some activities I enjoy.

On Sunday, my husband came by for a visit and we drove to Apeldoorn to have lunch at Backwerk once again. I had a tuna baguette. Then we went into several shops, because I wanted to buy some new spring/summer clothes. Sorry, no pictures once again. I bought a blue, flowery skirt and three simple tops in black, white and blue.

Sunday evening was a bit hard. It started out well with the staff explaining to me who would be supporting me throughout the shift. This was repeated several times. Then, at 6PM, unexpectedly a staff who wasn’t supposed to come and whom I don’t get along with, showed up. I had a meltdown and eventually, after a bit of an explanation from the other staff and trying an activity for a few minutes, I chose alone time over time with him.

I also spent my weekend working on the #AtoZChallenge, of course. I don’t generally prepare my posts in advance, so I have lots of work to do on the day itself. I also discovered Reddit last week. That is, I had an account back in like 2008, but they changed things up a lot so that’s no longer valid. I love browsing Reddit now and commenting where I can. I haven’t created a post yet.

Overall, my weekend was mostly good with some negativity due to the unexpected staff change. For those not aware, I am autistic, so it isn’t just that I don’t get along with some staff, but if they’d told me in advance, I could have been prepared.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (February 22, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s Wednesday again so I’m joining the Wednesday HodgePodge. Here goes.

1. What do you find is the most boring part of your life at the moment?
There isn’t anything extremely boring about my life, but my life isn’t exciting either. I’d say the thing that makes my life a bit boring is the fact that, due to the way things work at the care home, I can hardly make plans.

2. February 22nd is George Washington’s birthday. You’ll find his face on the US $1 bill. What’s the last thing you bought for roughly $1.00? (.94 €/ .83 £)
I honestly can’t think of anything. I do probably have some cash in my wallet but rarely if ever use it. I also hardly ever go into a store just for something that costs like $1. The closest I could get, when I checked my recent purchases on my bank account, is €1.35 for a box of tissues, but that’s not roughly $1 I’d say.

3. Is it ever okay to tell a “little white lie”? Explain.
It’s never really okay, but it is understandable in some circumstances. Is there a difference? I think so, in that I can see why I or someone else would tell a “little white lie” in some situations, but that doesn’t make it right.

4. What’s the last thing you ‘chopped’? Cherry pie, chocolate covered cherries, a bowl of cherries, cherry vanilla ice cream, maraschino cherries, a cherry lifesaver…your favorite cherry flavored something?
I don’t think I chopped anything recently. Honestly, when I used to cut veggies when cooking myself, given the size I’d leave them, it wasn’t really considered chopping.

I don’t really care for cherry-flavored anything, so give me a bowl of the actual fruit instead.

5. Describe yourself with three words using your first, middle, and last initials.
Okay, this is hard, if for no other reason, then because I don’t have a middle name. My last name does have a prefix though so I’m going with that.
Authentic, Vivid imagination, Weird.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I have this burning sensation somewhere along my spine that I’ve finally decided I’m going to ask the staff to call my GP about. So far, when I’ve asked the staff to take a look at where I think the sensation originates from, they don’t see anything but I do have a large mole on my back that I’ve been worrying about for months now. A picture of it did get looked at by my old GP back in Raalte and he said it wasn’t of any concern. Let’s hope he’s right and the burning sensation won’t be anything worrisome either.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (February 18, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. It’s 5:35PM as I start writing this post. I probably won’t finish it until past seven, when I’ll have my last cup of coffee for the day. Care to join me? We also have pure green tea (so the kind without flavoring). We also probably have lemon-flavored green tea, but I don’t care for that. I did discover a new kind of green tea, Indian chai green, which I do love. It is loose-leaf tea, which I rarely have, but I think this one is quite good. I can brew you a cup of this too. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d ask about your weather, as I usually do. Ours has been mixed. Early in the week, we got some sunshine, but later, it’s been rainy. The daytime temperature usually rose to about 12°C.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that my mother-in-law, my assigned staff and my support coordinator were supposed to have a talk on Tuesday. I wasn’t invited and the goal of the meeting remained unclear to my mother-in-law until the last moment. Then, it was canceled because my support coordinator was off sick. My mother-in-law took the opportunity to make it clear that, if it’s up to me and her, the possibility of me moving out of this care home should be a serious topic of discussion at a rescheduled meeting. She also pointed out that she’d like the behavior specialist present. This meeting, all going well, has now been set for March 2. I’m not sure whether I’ll be allowed to attend too. I think I should, honestly.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that, instead of coming to the meeting, my mother-in-law paid me an extended visit. We drove to Apeldoorn, like we seem to do regularly, and had lunch. Then we went into several shops to buy some little presents for one of my mother-in-law’s coworkers at her volunteer job, who will be going into hospital soon. It was there that I discovered the Indian chai green tea. We also went into a supermarket so that I could buy rolled oats, raw nuts and some other things. I fully intended to make overnight oats with those rolled oats. I did try, but either used too much milk or did something else wrong, because there was a lot of milk that hadn’t been absorbed by the rolled oats.

If we were having coffee, I would share that I did end up crafting a Valentine’s Day present for my husband after all. It’s a polymer clay heart with an arrow in Premo cadmium red with a Fimo Effect metallic gold edge and the arrow is done in Premo white. I textured the back using a ball of tinfoil, which turned out rather ugly – uglier than it would’ve been with visible air bubbles, which texturing aims to prevent. Oh well, that means I learned something.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I weighed myself on Thursday, as I do each week, and I lost another 0.6kg. I have only 2kg to lose to be at a healthy BMI. I am still slightly worried that some physical health condition is causing me to lose weight, because to be honest I’m not minding my diet much at all and I’m not exercising excessively either. However, I did notice that my Apple Watch estimates my cardio fitness level has increased. It’s still “low”, as it’s always been, but is slowly creeping towards “below-average”.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share that I didn’t walk as much as I’d have liked over the past week. I signed up for a challenge with other Apple Watch users in an app called Challenges. The challenge ran from Monday through Friday. I started out doing quite well on Monday, starting with a walk to visit the institution’s petting zoo, which is about a 45-minute walk total. My feet hurt terribly after it. During the rest of the week, I didn’t do so well. I ended up 48th out of 88, which I’m okay with all things considered. I’d have liked to be in the top half.

By the way, while at the petting zoo, I took a picture of the goats. I didn’t get to actually pet them.

How have you been?