Hello Monday (October 30, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Oh my, I’ve once again been neglecting my blog. I honestly wouldn’t know why, since over the past few days I’ve felt pretty good. I guess I’ll blame the time of year or something. Anyway, today I’m sharing an update with you all for Hello Monday.

Saturday was a very busy day. It was mostly in a good way, but it still left me feeling overwhelmed. A staff made pancakes for lunch, which were absolutely delish. In the afternoon, I sat down with one of my staff to discuss some of the important life events I want all of my staff to know about. This was intense, as you can imagine.

In the evening, I helped another staff cook macaroni for all of the residents and staff. We started out by cooking the mince, then adding onions, garlic and peppers. We thankfully didn’t have to chop the other vegetables. I turned out to be right about the amount of macaroni we needed. Thankfully, the staff’s estimate had been higher, so we had leftovers rather than not having enough. Unfortunately, neither I nor the staff thought of freezing the leftovers, so I’m afraid they’ve gone to waste.

I had a difficult night with nightmares and interrupted sleep, but it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been several years ago.

On Sunday, my spouse visited me. We went to Starbucks a second time and, after another caramel frappuccino and a donut for me because the pumpkin spice lattes were sold out, I had to agree that my spouse had been right all along that Starbucks is a waste of our money. I mean, the donut was worse than supermarket ones and truthfully my iced coffee was worse than the one I’d had at McDonald’s several months ago, which had initially made me decide I don’t like iced coffees. However, the problem with that one wasn’t the iced coffee itself but the paper straw. This was an issue now too, of course, but the frappuccino definitely was quite bad.

We also went to Aldi to shop for groceries. I only bought crunchy muesli, since the other things I wanted I’d asked my staff to order from the delivery service.

Sunday evening, of course, it got dark at around 5:30PM already because of the end of daylight saving time. I stayed indoors and watched some TV. We’ll have general elections on November 22, so I watched a humorous political quiz-like program in preparation for it.

Last night, I slept better, thankfully. I went on several walks today. On one of them, I decided to take some fall-themed pictures. The one below was taken a short distance from my care home.

We also visited the petting zoo once again and I took a picture of the guinea pigs.

This evening, I spent my allocated activity time claying with my one-on-one staff for the moment. We both created a flower, though hers looks more like a starfish in shape and due to the colors we used, the center is hardly visible. I usually get some help with my crafting, but this time I loved being able to craft the flower pretty much independently while my staff worked on hers.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (October 18, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s Wednesday once again, so time for the Wednesday HodgePodge. Here goes.

1. What’s something small you tend to sweat even though you know you shouldn’t?
Hmmm, I tend to get nervous and frustrated about a lot of things that are probably minor to others, but to say they’re things I “shouldn’t” sweat, feels a bit invalidating. I mean, I could choose the situation where staff randomly switch up who is going to support me and as a result a staff I didn’t expect shows up in my room. This often feels minor to the staff, but honestly I think they don’t know what it’d be like to depend on an almost countless number of random staff for your everyday needs.

2. October 17th is National Pasta Day…do you like pasta? What’s your favorite? Cooked at home or eaten in your favorite Italian restaurant? How often do you make/eat pasta?
I love pasta. My favorite is either penne pesto or macaroni Bolognese. I know, in the U.S. it’s spaghetti Bolognese but even that isn’t originally Italian, as it’s a combo of Naples’ spaghetti and Bolognese sauce. The way I understand it, in Bologna they eat their recipe only with tagliatelle.

I enjoy my pasta mostly home-cooked. At my old care home, we’d get home-cooked meals on weekends, which was awesome. Here, we get meal delivery service meals each day, but I already agreed with one of the staff that I’ll be helping her cook macaroni Bolognese on the 28th.

3. Do you consider yourself a spontaneous person? Explain.
No, not at all. And usually when I try to do something spontaneously, it means I’ve forgotten something else and I end up majorly messing up.

4. Who are some of your heroes? Tell us why.
Do people who are no longer alive count? In that case, my paternal grandmother, of course. Some of the autistic activist pioneers, like Mel Baggs and Cal Montgomery too. I admire their work in standing up for their and all of our rights to an actually meaningful life.

5. Let’s wrap it up with something light…Taylor Swift…are you a fan? On a scale of 1-10 how much so? (1=who’s Taylor?, 10=a true Swiftie, seen her in concert more than once). If you’re a fan what’s your favorite T. Swift song?
Uhm, 2 I guess. I’ve heard of her. I’m not a fan, but it’s not about her. The thing is, I’m not a pop music fan at all. In fact, I rarely listen to music except for soothing instrumental music when trying to fall asleep. I honestly couldn’t name any of Taylor Swift’s songs if I had to.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I want to give a shout out to the app Be My Eyes and its AI-based image description component Be My AI. Until this was introduced several weeks ago, all we blind people had were Seeing AI, Envision AI and some other apps that did rather generic image descriptions. Be My AI, on the other hand, does a rather detailed description of images. I can’t copy an image description here because for some stupid reason I can’t get it to write its descriptions in English, but let me just say it’s great.

10 on the 10th for October 2023: A Fall-Themed Would You Rather

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today I’m joining Marsha for 10 on the 10th, for which the theme this month is a fall-related would you rather. Here goes.

1. Would you rather soak your feet in pumpkin innards or in creamed corn?
Ew to both. But if I had to choose, creamed corn it would be.

2. Would you rather dance with a scarecrow or play poker with a mummy?
Dance with a scarecrow. I can’t play poker at all and, while I can’t really dance either, that’s not really something I care about.

3. Would you rather eat an apple dipped in caramel or a pumpkin muffin iced with cream cheese frosting?
Apple. I’ve never had a pumpkin muffin and am not sure I like it, but I do love apples and caramel.

4. Would you rather dress as a clown or as a monster for an entire week?
Monster. That’s more my style and I am more of a monster than a clown anyway.

5. Would you rather rake leaves or burn marshmallows?
Neither, truthfully, but if I have to choose, I’ll burn marshmallows, because at least I can enjoy eating them afterwards.

6. Would you rather smell like a bonfire or like a cinnamon stick for an entire month?
Cinnamon stick for sure. I can’t stand the smell of bonfires.

7. Would you rather watch a scary movie or go ghost hunting?
Go ghost hunting. Like I said last week, scary movies give me nightmares. So probably does going ghost hunting, but oh well.

8. Would you rather stay overnight in a haunted house or a cemetery?
A haunted house, I guess. I don’t actually believe in ghosts, so I’d prefer the comfort of an actual bed to sleep in even if interrupted by ghostly sounds over staying in a cemetery all night.

9. Would you rather eat pumpkin pie or apple crisp?
Apple crisp. I’ve only had pumpkin pie once or twice and vaguely remember not liking it. Apple crisp sounds delish to me.

10. Would you rather be in a pie eating contest or a pumpkin carving contest?
Pie eating contest. I mean, both are equally unhealthy for me, in the sense that I’d probably cut myself in the carving contest and overeat to the point of being sick in the pie eating contest. For this reason, I’ll go with what at least gives me some joy and that’s eating pie. Unless it’s pumpkin pie, of course.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (October 4, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s been a few weeks since I participated, so I’m joining in with the Wednesday HodgePodge once again. Here goes.

1. What’s something that scares you?
Too many things to mention, although I’m not one to have many classic phobias. My main one is toxiphobia, a fear of poisons.

2. Do you care where the food you eat comes from? To what degree?
Not really, honestly. Not that I get a say in where my care home food comes from in terms of the supermarket they order from – it’s some type of countrywide supplier specifically for care agencies. However, it’s not like I’d care much even if I did have a say. I do care about having a say in the specific foods I get to eat, which thankfully I have. When it comes to organic or not and the country my food originally comes from, I honestly am too lazy and stingy to care even when I go to the brick-and-mortar supermarket in the next town.

3. What’s something you wish you’d spent more time doing when you were younger?
Be creative. I did love writing as a child and spent a good amount of time on that, but I definitely wish I’d spent more time on other creative outlets.

4. Let’s play autumn this or that….pumpkin spice or apple cider? Corn maze or haunted house? Horror film or Hallmark movie? Blanket or sweatshirt? Watch football or watch the World Series? Foliage-red, yellow or orange?
Pumpkin spice for sure. Corn maze, though I don’t care for it either (but I hate haunted houses). Neither on the movies, but a Hallmark one if I have to choose, since the reason I hate haunted houses is because I startle extremely easily and also I don’t want nightmares. Is the blanket supposed to go onto me in the same way as a sweatshirt? Then I’ll choose a sweatshirt because it’s easier to keep in place while I type. Neither on the sports thing. That is, I’ve never heard of the World Series but assume it’s sports-related too and I never watch sports. All three colors are beautiful.

5. This time last year where were you and what were you doing?
Such an intriguing question especially today. October 4, 2022 was my last full day in the care facility in Raalte. Most of my furniture was being moved to the intensive support home (my now old care home) that day, as Raalte’s transportation person was off on Wednesdays (something thankfully my staff did realize beforehand, unlike with the recent move). Can you imagine I lived in three different care homes over the past year?

6. Insert your own random thought here.
October 4, 2023. I’ve been living in my current care home for just over two weeks and am beginning to consciously or unconsciously erase my connection to the intensive support home. Honestly, I feel awful when a temp worker tells me he knows me from there. That being said, it’s not just because it could hardly get worse than there, that my current home feels like a better fit.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (August 23, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining the Wednesday HodgePodge once again. Here goes.

1. What’s your earliest memory?
My third birthday. My paternal grandma brought me a doll from Berlin and my father taught my sister and me the German word for “doll” (“Puppe”). My sister and I, of course, laughed really hard about this, as “Puppe” sounds just like the Dutch verb for “poo”. The doll, by the way, is named Roza, because my father also said Rosa (but then again, as a child I had no clue how to spell it) is a German name.

2. What’s something about you today that the old you would find surprising?
The fact that I live in an institution. Until I was about 25, living in an institution was my worst nightmare.

3. Do you like to fish? Are you a fish eater? Favorite fish (to eat)? Favorite way to prepare fish?
I’ve only been fishing once and found it intensely boring. Then again, I can’t see so that takes away what little fun I imagine there is to fishing.

I do like fish, but usually just the once with the not-too-distinct flavor. The only exception is tuna, which I love and would probably be my favorite fish to eat. When my sister turned vegetarian and showed my parents info about the unethical consequences of tuna eating, they for a while refused to buy it. I got really upset.

4. What’s your biggest first world problem?
I’m not sure whether my unsuitable care home counts as a first world problem. I guess it does, since most disabled people in developing countries don’t have a choice where they live at all. Neither do I at this point, in the sense that I know next to nothing about my future care home and am told that since I’m moving anyway it’d be pointless to give me more info. I have a post scheduled for tomorrow on this topic. In any case, I’m still fortunate in many ways I guess.

5. What one word would you use to describe your year thus far?
Chaos.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I almost broke my record of active calories burned on my Apple Watch today. Honestly, I think relatively speaking I already broke it, since my last record dates from September of last year and I weighed 12kg more than I do now, so burned off more calories with the same physical exertion. I still need 20 exercise minutes to break my exercise record (which I set on the same day), but I won’t do that. Those 15 active calories I still need to burn for my movement record should be doable though. Today, unlike the time I set my old record, I did a variety of workouts: walking, swimming, the stationary bike and dancing.

How Sensory Seeking Manifests in Me

Posted on by Astrid

As those who visit my blog regularly will know, I am autistic. My assigned staff put “highly sensitive” rather than autistic on my basic info sheet. This isn’t necessarily incorrect, but it is definitely incomplete. Not just because autism encompasses more than sensory processing challenges and because the hyped-up term of “highly sensitive” doesn’t come close to describing my level of overload, but also because in certain ways, I am not hypersensitive at all. Today, I want to talk about the ways in which I am, in fact, a sensory seeker.

The main aspect in which I’m a sensory seeker, is reflected in the way I approach food. I love love LOVE spicy food. I also love crunchy food. I can’t stand mash, because that is about the polar opposite of both. Honestly though, I find the texture matters more than the flavor, since mash didn’t get better with lots of black pepper on it and I can handle bland yet crunchy foods.

I also chew on hard candy. Like, I’ve tried sucking on it, but I really can’t manage to do that for more than a few seconds before I need to break the candy. Another example, but I’m not sure whether this is sensory seeking or lack of proprioception and/or coordination, is the fact that my staff tell me my spoon always clanks against my teeth quite loudly. I also realize now that drinking my coffee quite hot is probably a sign of being a sensory seeker.

With the sense of smell, I have a love/hate relationship. I love my essential oil diffuser, but don’t usually wear perfumes and can’t really stand anyone else wearing them.

In the tactile sense, I’m definitely a sensory seeker. This doesn’t mean I like all kinds of touch. I mean, I can’t stand it when people unexpectedly pat me on the back. Truthfully though, it should really go without saying that you should never touch another person without asking them first.

However, I love tight hugs, or used to before I broke my collarbone in 2019, which never properly healed. I also love to be rough when brushing my hair and am probably a bit rough when brushing my teeth too. When I wear my hair in a ponytail, it has to be tight too. And my shoelaces can’t really be tied too tightly. And yes, my spouse took up the challenge, only to tell me that, even though I didn’t think they were too tight, they actually were.

I of course need to mention my weighted blanket here too. It is 12kg, which is between 20 and 25% of my body weight. That’s on the heavy side as far as I’m aware. Of course, I got it when I still weighed nearly 20kg more than I weigh now, but then I’d often end up adding another weighted blanket on top of it.

Another aspect of sensory seeking I need to mention is being in constant motion, even if it’s small movements with my fingers or toes. I am not diagnosed with ADHD, though sometimes I think I could have it. I wasn’t extremely hyper as a child – in fact, my parents would describe me as a quiet child. However, I was definitely jumping onto lots of things. I no longer do this, but mostly because I can’t due to my decreased mobility. Now that I think of it, honestly I’m pretty sure that my need to walk a lot, is also a sign of sensory seeking and/or hyperactivity.

With respect to the sense of sound, I’m not generally a seeker. I do listen to soothing music on my music pillow when trying to get to sleep, but that’s it. I can’t stand background noise. Like, some staff suggest we have music on in the background while we play games, but I really can’t concentrate then.

Lastly, of course, is the sense of sight. I’m blind now, obviously, but when I was younger, I still had some sight. I definitely was a sensory seeker when it came to the visual modality. The most striking example is the fact that I’d often make shadows on my desk with my hands and look at them.

There are many other ways in which I express sensory seeking, but you get the idea. All this being the case, don’t discount my sensory overload just because I can be a seeker in other circumstances.

My Random Musings

Also linking up with Senior Salon Pit Stop.

Dromaai: A Restaurant That Brings Me Nostalgia

Posted on by Astrid

One of today’s prompts for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop is to share about a restaurant that makes you nostalgic. I immediately thought of the restaurant in Nijmegen my spouse and I nicknamed the “dromedary”.

Its real name is Dromaai, which is wordplay on the Dutch word for turnaround. On the menu are various dishes where letters have been switched up. For example, fish stew would be called “stish few”.

I discovered the restaurant while in the psych hospital in the spring of 2008 and ate there with my family a few times. Then, in December of that year, I invited my now spouse there.

My spouse and I would see each other several times a week while I was in the hospital, often around dinnertime, and there wasn’t any food for my spouse in the hospital, of course. As a result, we had to eat out. Dromaai became a regularly-visited restaurant. My favorite dish was marinaded turkey on a skewer. I usually chose pepper sauce with it rather than the recommended BBQ. You could choose between a side dish of rice, baked potatoes or fries. I usually chose fries, but I did like the potatoes too.

In 2011, my spouse convinced me to try to become a vegetarian, so my favorite dish became a vegetable wrap. I gave up the vegetarian lifestyle after only about nine months and came back to my turkey skewer.

We stopped going to Dromaai when I moved to the psych hospital in Wolfheze in 2013. That is, we still went there occasionally. One time, I remember one of the workers – I think he actually was the manager or something, but he also did waiter jobs – asking us whether we’d moved and if so, where. I vaguely replied that we’d moved to the Arnhem area. “Arnhem, blegh,” he replied with a laugh, because as those from the Netherlands will know Arnhem and Nijmegen are rivals.

The last time I went to Dromaai, I went with my sister after our day at Sanadome, a wellness resort in Nijmegen, in 2018. I looked all over the menu, but to my annoyance, they’d done away with the turkey skewer. I ordered mixed grill instead, but didn’t like it nearly as much.

As a side note, don’t ask me how my spouse and I got to nickname Dromaai, “Dromedary”. My spouse has a habit of taking wordplay to the extreme though. I think it’s funny, but I realize it isn’t as I type this down now.

Mama’s Losin’ It

The Wednesday HodgePodge (April 26, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s been a few weeks since I joined in with this meme, but today’s questions for the Wednesday HodgePodge appeal to me. Here goes.

1. April 26th is National Audubon Day, honoring John James Audubon, the French-American ornithologist, naturalist, and painter known for his detailed study and illustration of birds in their natural habitats. Do you have a bird feeder? Any birds in your home decor? Have you ever owned a pet bird? What’s your favorite bird?
I am pretty sure there’s a bird feeder on my terrace, but I didn’t place it there. It was here from before I moved to my current care home and I don’t place bird food in it either.

I don’t have any birds in my home decor, though I do like birds. I’ve never owned a bird as a pet, though one of my fellow residents does currently.

My favorite bird? My first thought goes to the blackbird. I am not really sure why though, as truthfully black isn’t even my favorite color anymore (and I have no idea whether blackbirds are actually black). I do like its sound though.

2. What’s something you took to “like a duck to water”?
Blogging for sure.

3. Empty nest, nest egg, proud as a peacock, free as a bird, birds of a feather flock together, or the early bird catches the worm…choose one and tell us how it currently applies to your life.
I’ll go with “empty nest”, even though none of these expressions really apply to me. I mean, I had to Google “nest egg”, but that’s unrelated to my life too. As a childfree person, I don’t think “empty nest” applies to me either, as I never even had eggs or young in the nest, but oh well. I do feel lonely and bored with not living with my family.

4. Pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, flax seeds, chia seeds, sesame seeds, poppy seeds…your favorite seed and a favorite food or dish made with that seed or topped with that seed? Have you tried all the seeds on the list? Any you don’t care for?
Yes, tried all of them and love them all. My favorite are chia seeds and I use them in my overnight oats as well as in my smoothies. I also used to always buy poppy seed bread when I lived at the independence training home (basically regular bread with poppy seeds on its crust).

5. Something in the past week that made you “happy as a lark”?
Nothing really. I have been quite depressed lately, but the visits from my mother-in-law yesterday and my husband on Sunday were a welcome distraction.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I’m off to try out the giant trampoline here at the institution in about half an hour. That hasn’t yet made me happy, but it’s definitely something I’m looking forward to. The physical therapist has to go with me to see how I do it, but he’s hoping it will help me loosen up my muscles in my back.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (April 12, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining the Wednesday HodgePodge yet again. Here are Joyce’s questions and my answers.

1. April 13th is National Scrabble Day…are you a fan? Do you enjoy word games in general? What’s an eight letter word that tells us something about your life currently?
I don’t like Scrabble, because eventually the board becomes too crowded for me to understand. I do love other word games. There was a game I used to enjoy on the iPhone called 7 Little Words. That is, until they introduced a special “screen reader mode” that was just slightly less inaccessible than the rest of the game had become from then on.

An eight-letter word that says something about my life… clueless. I’ll leave it at that.

2. Do you have a junk drawer? Is it full? Do you know what’s in it? What’s in it?
Not really. Oh wait, the upper drawer in my desk probably counts, as it does have lots of miscellaneous stuff in it, particularly parts that belong to my various gadgets, such as my original Apple Watch wristband (well, only the lengthening half of it, as I recently discovered). I do know of most things in it, but not everything.

3. When does time pass quickly for you? When does it pass slowly?
It passes quickly when I’m engrossed in writing a blog post or in a good book or especially when crafting. Slowly when I am waiting on something.

4. These eight vegetables are in season during spring-asparagus, broccoli, cabbage, carrots, celery, collard greens, garlic, herbs. What’s your favorite? Any on the list you refuse to eat? Last one on the list you ate?
Wasn’t this a question last year too? Anyway, my favorite is broccoli. There aren’t any on the list I refuse to eat altogether, but I really don’t like celery. The last one of these I ate was a carrot this afternoon with my lunch.

5. What’s the oldest thing you own? Tell us about it.
I don’t think I own anything old, so I’ll have to guess either my stuffed whale which I’ve had since I was a baby or my desk. Though I’ve owned my desk for only like 17 years, it’s secondhand.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
Thank goodness for a bit of sunshine inbetween the rain today. I went for a walk this afternoon and then stopped by the day center cafeteria to have a hot cocoa and a muesli bar, the latter of which my staff treated me to out of the vending machine. Yum!

The Wednesday HodgePodge (April 5, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s time for the Wednesday HodgePodge once again and I’m giving it a try. Last week, I was scared away by the challenge of writing a limerick. I hope my participating in the hodgepodge today doesn’t mean I won’t have energy left for my #AtoZChallenge post later this evening. We’ll just see.

1. What would you say is the most difficult task when it comes to spring cleaning? Have you completed that task this year? Any plans to get it done?
Uhm, I don’t do spring cleaning or most cleaning at all for that matter, but when I still did my own cleaning back in the independence training home in 2006-2007, I thought windows were the hardest. I tried them exactly once in the 18 months I lived there and the staff agreed it’d be best to hire someone to do those for me. Another task I hated was cleaning out kitchen cupboards. I don’t have those here, but I seriously need to give the cupboards and closets I do have a good wipe down.

2. Your favorite pastel color? Favorite thing you own in a pastel shade?
My favorite pastel color is probably lilac, although I love all pastel colors really. I don’t own any pastels in my clothing as far as I’m aware, but I do own several pastel shades of polymer clay. The one I use most often is pastel aqua Fimo.

3. Do you like ham? Do you fix ham year round or is it mostly just a “holiday food”? Baked ham-ham and eggs-ham and cheese sandwich-scalloped potatoes and ham-Hawaiian pizza….what’s your pleasure?
I don’t really like ham, but it isn’t like I dislike it either. It’s not specifically a holiday food here. My favorite food that includes ham would be a Hawaiian pizza.

4. Do you celebrate Easter? What did Easter look like when you were a kid? What are your plans for Easter this year?
I don’t celebrate Easter. I mean, we might have some treats here at the care home and I’ve heard the living room was decorated for it, but it’s not like I go to church. Never been, in fact. I grew up atheist, so while we’d paint eggs and go on an Easter egg hunt, the story of Jesus’ resurrection wasn’t really familiar to me.

5. Something that makes you feel hopeful amidst all the chaos and confusion this world brings?
I am not sure how to answer this question, as I realize most hodgepodge’ers are Christians and I am not. I am not even sure what I do believe in. I mean, I am certainly not an atheist, but I have let go of my belief in the God of the Bible. Now is not the time for me to go into my reasons why, as I don’t want to offend my Christian fellow hodgepodge’ers.

However, to answer the question, I do believe that, ultimately, things will work out. I sometimes cynically joke that things will work out in 2034, referring in a kind of twisted way to the book by that title that claims World War III will start then. Seriously though, I do believe in some higher power, which I’m not sure yet what to call, by which everything is connected and will ultimately fall into place as it should be.

Other than that, the small joys I experience each day remind me that there’s still hope in the world.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I’ve been in my current care home for exactly six months today and am hopeful it won’t be much longer, as there have been a lot of crises lately. Today, however, so far, is a pretty good day. Let me focus on that!