#WeekendCoffeeShare (July 26, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m once again joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. It’s 9:45PM, so all I’ll have to drink before going to bed is water. I don’t mind though and hope you don’t either. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s been raining all week, but temperature-wise, it’s been nice. We had daytime highs in the low 20s Celsius most days. Today, the temperature rose to 25°C. I hadn’t expected it to rain, so didn’t take a jacket with me when driving to Apeldoorn with my spouse. Thankfully, it only rained when we were in the car or somewhere else inside.

If we were having coffee, next I’d share that my spouse and I may not be divorcing after all. It’s a long story that is too personal to share on a public blog. The short version is that I sent an impulsive text last week asking my spouse to finally make arrangements, because I wanted to live independently. The reason for the text had nothing to do with my spouse, but it did get things set in motion. As it turns out though, it’s probably not practically in our best interest to divorce.

If we were having coffee, I’d go into the reason for said text: one of my “favorites” among the staff is leaving and this is at a time when I’m struggling significantly with most other staff seeming at once not to agree on any way to support me but somehow agreeing that I’m a pain in the neck. At least on a weekly basis, I hear stuff like “You can’t go anywhere anyway” or “Your spouse doesn’t want you in this state” when I’m being restrained or otherwise having my autonomy taken away.

Furthermore, it looks like my staff have decided that neither I myself nor my spouse have my best interest in mind, while in that order, we’re the ones most adamantly advocating for me. However, I saw impulsive comments my spouse made after we found out divorce may not be an option cited in my report. This wouldn’t have been such a big deal, had staff also objectively reported their own comments, like all the “You can’t go anywhere anyway” stuff. The way it sounds now, my spouse sounds like the bad one.

One of my assigned staff even got me to agree on getting more information about guardianship because she somehow feels that a person who doesn’t know me but knows the law is better able to make decisions for me. I have yet to tell my staff no on this one.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I did finally work with polymer clay again. I made a parrot for the staff who’s leaving, because this staff has two parrots. We have plans for making her other one out of polymer clay sometime this coming week.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share that I’ve been obsessing over recipes and cooking again. Like I said yesterday, I made a curry for myself and my fellow residents on Tuesday. The staff who helped me with it, proposed we do cooking again this coming Tuesday. This time, I chose a pasta bake. I’ve also been making smoothies and overnight oats recently.

I have an app on both my PC and iPhone to organize my recipes. It’s called Recipe Keeper and I’m half convinced it’s spyware like TikTok. Other than that, its only drawback is the fact that somehow I can’t have my password manager remember the password. This has me paranoid too. However, it’s the only app that’s available on both iOS and Windows that is remotely useable for me.

Quality of Life #SoCS

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all. I haven’t written a blog post in nearly two weeks, since I’ve been struggling quite badly. However, I saw the prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday, which is “starts with Q”. Immediately, the word “quality” and, derived from that, “quality of life” came to mind.

I regularly write about this concept when discussing myself as a former preemie living with multiple disabilities. That’s not what I mean this time though. This time, I mean real, day-to-day quality of life. I’ve seriously been on a quest for a more meaningful life.

You might remember me talking about the cup of green tea I was allowed to have one evening. I said back then that it’s normal to choose when you want tea, so most people will not be appreciative of it. I was. However, as I spiraled further into depression, this cup of tea became the metaphor for how bleak my life is, actually.

It could be a lot worse. It was, back in the mental hospital, where, though I could grab food whenever I wanted (or at least I did), I spent most of my days lying in bed or surfing the Internet. Most of my fellow residents also have even less autonomy than I do. And yes, I know they’re severely intellectually disabled, but quite frankly that’s not an excuse. Just because you’re used to well-intentioned others making every single decision for you (and they are used to it as well!), doesn’t mean that’s how it’s always supposed to be. Or how it should be. Like I was at the time very grateful for the cup of tea at 9PM, that’s not how it always should be. That is, of course it’d be good if I remained grateful for a cup of tea, but in real life, I should be able to make the decision whether I want a cup of tea myself.

Unfortunately, I have a ton of ideas to improve my quality of life and gain more autonomy, but these don’t get to fruition. The reason is in part the fact that an idea has to be put into practice and executive functioning isn’t my best quality. Another reason is resistance from staff, either overt or covert.

I could write a book on all the ways staff have verbally, physically and in other ways hurt me under the guise of being human and having emotions too. Or conversely under the guise of safety for the group or that being the reality of staff-client relationships. But I won’t.

I’ll end by saying that, at least, on Tuesday I had a good day cooking curry for my side of the home. That’s what I mean by day-to-day quality of life: having the ability to prepare my own food, for example, or choosing what I’ll have for dinner. Of course, the other residents didn’t have a say in my choice to make curry, but they did appreciate it. We’re a long way from people in long-term care actually having meaningful lives, but this felt like a tiny contribution.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (May 31, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. I originally wanted to write another post first, but got distracted by a dozen other ideas. It’s 9PM here, so no more coffee for me. I need to drink plenty of water because I have some extra fluid in my right leg. Let’s have a glass of water and let’s chat. Or if you’d like coffee, fine by me too.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. For most of the week, it’s been quite rainy and too chilly for my liking, even though the daytime temperature was probably still higher than it should be. Today though, we have sunshine and a daytime high of 25°C.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I haven’t been as physically active as I’d have wanted to be. Like I said above, I have some unwanted fluid in my right leg. My leg also hurts from muscle knots. I had a dry needling treatment at the physical therapist’s on Tuesday and am having another one next Wednesday. I am not 100% sure it’s working, as on Thursday my pain was worse and besides, I don’t know which pain or limitation is from the muscle knots and which is from the fluid build-up.

Today was a good day in the walking department though. Next week is the institution’s four-day walking event. I’m going to take part in the 3km walk, but I’ll be allowed to sit in a wheelchair as needed (thankfully, this event isn’t as strict on walking as some others are). That way, I can take part in the festivities and enjoy the experience but don’t need to overexert myself.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you about my creative endeavors over the past week. I finished two unicorns for the home’s volunteers on Monday.

That day, I also found out that one of the student staff would be leaving. He didn’t work with me, but I know him because he used to be a student staff at the care facility in Raalte before coming here. Back then, we used to go on walks together, taking his camera with us and snapping pictures which my image description app could then describe. The app wasn’t nearly as advanced as it is now, so I might want to look up some of these pictures and run them through Be My Eyes now.

Anyway, I wanted to craft something for him but didn’t know what until my best friend asked me what his hobbies are. I initially said that I don’t know, then remembered our photographing adventures back in Raalte and said “photography”. My best friend immediately suggested I craft a camera. I had never done so, but my best friend gave me some suggestions. Here’s the result. Be My Eyes recognized it immediately and even said that the photo of the back I took might be of a miniature camera.


If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I cooked pasta for my fellow residents on Thursday. It wasn’t as good as it could’ve been, because the veg had been overcooked and generally speaking the meal was a bit bland. Better luck next time.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share that yesterday, on the student staff’s last shift, I played DJ again at the other side of the home. I initially played some Dutch-language songs that were apparently not well-known, but finally I chose “Oerend hard” by Normaal and that had my fellow residents loudly singing along.

Overall, this week was a good one except for the pain.

March 2025 In My Kitchen

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I enjoyed the linky last month, so am participating in In My Kitchen again.

As regular readers of my blog will know, I don’t have my own kitchen because I live in an institution. We also usually get our dinners from a meal delivery service. Last month, I shared that I was hoping to do some more cooking in March. Guess what? I cooked dinner for myself and my fellow residents twice this past month.

First, on March 5, I cooked pasta with pesto, chicken and broccoli. My spouse joked after seeing the picture that the pine nuts were on sale. In reality, I hadn’t originally planned to sprinkle the pasta with pine nuts but my staff had loads of them, originally intended for her parrots, who don’t even really like them or that’s what she said.

A little over a week later, I cooked pasta again. This time, I included shrimp, lots of garlic, peppers, a few packages of mixed veg and, because according to me this was too little for ten people, a few bell peppers too. I needn’t have worried, because everyone had enough to eat and there were still a few servings left to go in the freezer.

I also made a few smoothies using my blender. Unfortunately, last week I found out that, somehow, the ring-shaped thingy that keeps the blades in place, had broken. I erroneously thought this meant the entire blender should be discarded. Yesterday, my spouse and I went to the electronics store and bought a new one, actually I believe it’s the same one I had. I also recently learned that I can actually make more smoothie with my blender than I used to think. After all, when you fill up the blender with fruit, veg or whatever you’re blending, you shouldn’t fill it up fully. Until recently, I however thought that this means you’re left with only, say, half the blender’s content of smoothie and that’s it. I never realized that you can add more food once the blender has finished blending some of its contents. Stupid, I know, but oh well.

In other kitchen-related news, my assigned staff has told me that she’ll add a weekly cooking activity into my day schedule. I don’t yet know when this is going to happen, but I did hear that my one-on-one support has been approved until the end of 2026 again. Yay!

#WeekendCoffeeShare (March 1, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this first day of March. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. I’ve just had my last cup of coffee for the day, but if you’re quick, you may be able to enjoy a soft drink. We usually get chips with our soft drinks on weekends, but if I’m correct, the staff ordered meatballs. Let’s have a drink (and a snack) and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. Most days, it was chilly but not rainy. We got the most rain on Thursday, but even then I managed to go out.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that I did achieve the perfect month on my Apple Watch in February. My March challenge is incredibly easy: get in at least 3.63km of walking/running on at least fourteen days this month. I always thought the challenges were based on the previous month’s achievements, but I’m pretty sure I got a lot more steps in during February.

If we were having coffee, I’d report that I’ve been struggling again. This led to a number of arguments between me and the staff. Particularly, it frustrates me to no end that some staff are much more likely to react angrily to my irritability than others. As a result, I don’t accept gestures indicating they support me from these staff. Like, if you’ve first been telling me off, I won’t accept it when you offer me comfort. Unfortunately, my assigned staff claims this differing treatment is just how it is and she says it’s because I don’t accept the same treatment from everyone. This came across as if she was holding me responsible for the different approaches.

If we were having coffee, I’d also share that I’ve been frustrated with my day schedule and particularly the lack of clarity in it. I particularly don’t like the fact that, each time, I’ll have to choose an activity out of fifteen or so options. Thankfully, I was able to turn my frustration around today and decide that, on Monday, I’m going to the next town to buy groceries and, on Tuesday, I’m going to cook dinner for the home.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that part of my struggle is the extreme discrepancy between my intelligence and my emotional functioning. I’m said to function emotionally at a level comparable to a child under 18 months of age in most respects, but my IQ is above-average. Moreover, I happen to have an interest in psychology and social work. As a result, I, for example, know more about the theory of care and support than most of my staff, but I can’t apply it to my own situation and not just because I’m the client.

Like, when I’m in a good place mentally, I sometimes find myself pointing out ways staff are asking too much of me emotionally, but precisely because I can say so, I’m judged not to need the support I need.

If we were having coffee, I would however also share that I still experience moments of joy. For example, on Monday, a new student staff was being introduced to my activities and we created a unicorn (of course) out of polymer clay. This time, because the unicorn was rather fat and the staff had placed the front legs far apart, I chose to add a heart to its belly. I also decorated its back with rhinestones. Two pictures below, because my staff couldn’t capture both the heart and the rhinestones in one.


If we were having coffee, lastly I’d tell you that I struggle with self-criticism and this also leads me towards less creativity. I, however, overcame the feeling that I “should be better” sometime on Tuesday when I created a rather simple bracelet. It was just beads stringed onto elastic wire. However, looking at my comment about emotional development, I sincerely believe I did a pretty awesome job, since a toddler can’t do this at all.

Sorry for the rambly post. I’m still feeling hazy after another meltdown. By the way, no meatballs for our evening treat, as somehow they’d disappeared.

February 2025 In My Kitchen

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone! A while ago, I discovered Sherry’s In My Kitchen linky. As most of you know, I don’t have a kitchen, but of course my care home does. I’m using this opportunity to share some thoughts about the foods I’ve prepared and/or consumed lately. Do polymer clay-related musings count too, since polymer clay is cured in an oven? Just kidding (a bit).

Last week, like I think I shared, I visited the next town’s market and bought olives, fried chicken and peppers. I also bought arugula at the supermarket. My staff whipped up the most delicious salad out of these and some carrots that were in our fridge. I had some the next day as well. Sadly, I was under the impression that the staff had used up all peppers, only to be told yesterday that there were still peppers in the fridge. Those had by then gone bad.

I also bought blueberries and have been adding those to my muesli and quark that I eat for breakfast almost each day.

I’ve also been making smoothies lately. For example, a few weeks ago, we had lots of bananas that were on the ripe side, so we chose to whip up a smoothie with them. My current blender has only a 1 liter container, so at first I used to make only about four cups of smoothie and share them with my fellow residents who also stay up later.

Yesterday, a staff offered to help me prepare a smoothie for the entire home that we could use in place of our evening soft drink. Looking back, creating more smoothie than my container can hold is as simple as pouring the smoothie into cups then reloading the blender. The staff peeled and cored the apples and pears, something I think I could’ve helped with too, but oh well. I chose to add cinnamon, cardamom and clove, as well as soy milk as a liquid. The smoothie was absolutely delicious!

For the upcoming month, I’m really hoping to do more in the care home kitchen. Honestly, I feel I could easily be whipping up my own salads and do more in the smoothie-making process. I’ve also been looking at treats and even main meals to cook. I mean, I have the two-hour supported activity time slot in the afternoon and this often is currently spent on nothing more than a walk. I have been nagging my staff for a more structured activity schedule for months, but this seems to be rather difficult. One can always hope though.

Gratitude List (April 26, 2024) #TToT

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. How have you been? I’m participating in Ten Things of Thankful with a gratitude post once again. It’s been a while. I however have quite a few thankfuls to share, I think, so let’s go.

1. I’m grateful for homemade pizza. My spouse, mother-in-law and I made it together at my in-laws’ house (my father-in-law wasn’t there) last Saturday after the CP conference.

2. I’m grateful for a side-by-side bike ride on Sunday. I was assigned an extremely tall staff member for my one-on-one and, for those not aware, I am short myself. This makes walking with him quite a challenge, as we haven’t yet figured out a way for him to guide me that doesn’t cause me pain. However, I came up with the idea of biking instead.

3. I am grateful for the fact that my attempt at making overnight oats on Monday turned out to be a success! Last time I made them, I added way too much milk.

4. I am grateful because, on Tuesday, I was able to cook köfte for my fellow residents and staff. It took me quite some time, but that’s not a problem.

5. I am grateful for French fries on Wednesday. Oh, I’m making more than half of this list about food, but okay.

6. I am grateful for an opportunity to go swimming yesterday. I had gone swimming twice last week, once with my own home’s residents and once with a small group. I hadn’t expected to be able to join the small group this week again and swimming for my home was canceled because most residents were on the annual trip. However, I was able to join the small group anyway.

7. I am grateful for a trip to the institution museum this afternoon. It’s a really small museum, but it was interesting to learn about the history of the institution. Plus, we got free mini pancakes! Oh wait, that’s another food-related thankful…

8. I’m grateful for a day without rain today. We had rain most of the week and, though I could go on walks everyday inbetween showers, I couldn’t go out nearly as much as I’d have liked. Today though was a rain-free day and we even had a bit of sunshine.

9. I am grateful for an appointment with the nurse practitioner who works at my local GP practice re my decreasing mobility. I’ll have a physical therapy appt soon too but I’d really like to know what’s causing my mobility impairment (CP or something else) and whether a decrease in mobility is to be expected or what can be done about it.

10. Last but not least, I am so grateful I seem to be slowly crawling out of the pit of depression I was in.

March 2024 Reflections #WBOYC

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s the end of the month, so it’s time for my monthly reflections. As usual, I’m joining #WBOYC.

This month was really tough. I started it with second-degree burns all over my left upper leg because of a self-harm incident the night of February 29. Thankfully, the wounds have completely healed, though last Tuesday, a staff who doesn’t come here regularly and hence saw my leg for the first time since it had happened, was a bit shocked anyway.

I have now been on my lower dose of Abilify, my antipsychotic, for a full month too, since I started that on March 1. I told my support coordinator that, for now, I’d like to remain on this dose and not go down further, even though it’s definitely not an ideal dose. Honestly, right now, I’m pretty sure it’s the least ideal dose I could be on, as I’m still experiencing daytime sleepiness but also significantly increased irritability. However, I don’t want to go back to my old dosage, which was causing more sleepiness, and I fear I might become unmanageable on a lower dose. We will re-evaluate in a month. Let’s hope the increased irritability is temporary.

Like I mentioned a few times over the past month, there was this horrible compensatory system, by which every minute I’d come out of my unsupported time in distress would have to be compensated for. It has caused me intense distress and was eventually revoked. However, I’m nowhere near my old self. Then again, my “old self” was lying in bed far too much.

Today, I got more bad news: my support coordinator is leaving in mid-April. I don’t know the other support coordinator, who will temporarily be coordinating the care for both sides of the home until a new support coordinator has been found and trained, that well, but she sounds okay. I do feel relieved that I’m no longer solely dependent on my male assigned staff but have a female one too. Okay, she only works one or two days a week, but at least she’s there.

Over the past week, the only positive I can report is that I’ve been able to walk more and, as a result, close all of my activity rings on my Apple Watch each day.

I didn’t create that much out of polymer clay. Honestly, the only thing I can think of having created this past month is an orange unicorn that I didn’t even feel like photographing. I tried my hand at earrings once, but ended up incorrectly explaining to my staff how to drill the hole into them, so I threw those away.

I did cook macaroni for my fellow clients once. I also went to the day center’s tiny gym room, but that was stupid. It only had strength training equipment other than a broken stationary bike and the strength training equipment couldn’t be adjusted.

I did read a lot, mostly children’s books about unicorns. I started in the Unicorn Academy series, which I love but unfortunately isn’t on Bookshare. I’m still debating whether I want to actually buy more of the series. I also have been reading foster care memoirs.

I only posted eight blog posts (I think), including this one. I will, however, aim to participate in the #AtoZChallenge in April. I don’t have a theme, but will go with random reflections. And yes, I have a topic picked for the letter X, in case that’s going to cause me to quit yet again.

January 2024 Reflections #WBOYC

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s the last day of January, so I’m reflecting back on the past month. This month was rather eventful but slow-going at the same time. Christmas sounds like centuries ago. As usual, for my monthly reflections, I’m linking up with What’s Been on Your Calendar? (#WBOYC).

The month started out rather positively with me being full of energy, new hope and inspiration. Indeed, I did create some cool new polymer clay things over the past month, including a Valentine’s frog. That one now stands on a Valentine’s Day-themed (well, kind of) table in the living room of the other side of the home.

Polymer Clay Valentines Day Frog

I also crafted the cat I showed you all earlier, a penguin, a rabbit and a few things that I might be turning into earrings at some point.

Last week, I also cooked rice and chicken for myself and my fellow residents. This was great.

Early in the month, I didn’t have many visitors due to various circumstances, but thankfully I was able to see my spouse twice this month anyway. I also saw my mother-in-law twice, on the 16th because it was every-other-Tuesday (we’d skipped the 2nd because I was sick) and last Monday because I had my care plan review.

This care plan review probably warrants its own post, since it was a lot to process. Midway through the month some issues that I’ve been having with my assigned staff, that I can’t go into here, came to a point where I was greatly struggling too. This and some other things, including the fact that I frankly don’t do as well with male staff as I do with female staff, have led me to request another assigned staff. Whether this can happen, I’m not yet sure of, but I hope so. Thankfully, I do have my support coordinator, with whom I do get along.

A week and a half ago, she and I finally finished my new crisis signaling plan. This has yet to be brought under the attention of all staff and even then, staff have to be willing to follow it.

Last week, a staff not being willing to follow this plan, led to me having a massive meltdown. More specifically, I spiraled out of control because the staff assigned me a temp worker for the late shift, while that entire day there were no staff I sort of trust except for one and she, contrary to what’s in my plan, refused to come over for just five minutes. I was a horrible person to her and the other staff and there’s no justifying that, but it’s sad to realize that her coming over for just five minutes might’ve prevented an evening-long meltdown.

Over the past week, I’ve generally been struggling with all the staff changes, changes to my one-on-one for various reasons and general chaos. I feel, truthfully, like I’m swimming in the North Sea again, as I explained it at my care plan review. The way I explained it then, when I was in Raalte in late 2021, it was like swimming at the shallow end of the pool as far as support went. And, while, like every toddler that needs to learn to swim having their days when they resist the water, I had my bad days, they weren’t due to poor support. Then, the first male staff and, later, some temp workers were introduced to me and I had to endure the odd day when I didn’t get my allocated one-on-one. I struggled massively with this challenge and this was the main reason I decided to move. Then, at the intensive support home, I was thrown right into the Pacific Ocean: a day schedule that was rather stupid, constant staff changes, me always being assigned the new temp worker, etc. Now, on good days, I feel like I’m swimming in a calm lake and, on bad days, I feel like I’m swimming in the North Sea. And then there are those really good days when I feel like I’m back in the pool. Those are the days I’m supported by my “favorites”, as my assigned staff calls them. And just so you know, just because I survived my previous home, doesn’t mean I coped or can cope with the current chaos of my home. Yes, it’s better than it was, but that doesn’t mean it’s good. I try to be understanding of the fact that everyone faces staff shortages, temp workers, etc., but honestly, listening to all the “everyone has to give a little” wears me down.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (December 23, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining in with the #WeekendCoffeeShare once again. As usual, I’ve had my last cup of coffee for the day. We didn’t have chips to go with my soft drink, as for some reason the person ordering our care home groceries had ordered far too little. We are also almost out of desserts and the next delivery of groceries won’t be till this coming Wednesday. It’s going to be a not so luxurious Christmas after all. Speak of first world problems. Let’s have a drink (thankfully I have lots of green tea, including coconut-flavored green tea) and a biscuit (I have cinnamon stars and stroopwafels in my cupboard) and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s usually uneventful here in the eastern Netherlands, but not so this week. Storm Pia actually hit us hard. In fact, on Thursday, the storm caused a tree to fall over on top of a side-by-side bike here on the cycling path that’s along institution grounds. The staff member steering the bike was hit so hard that she didn’t survive. The client had relatively minor injuries, but I’m pretty sure they’re traumatized for life. I don’t know the staff member myself, thankfully, but it was a warning sign not to go outside in the storm.

We’ve been experiencing heavy rain and wind all week except for Monday. Monday was actually a beautiful day. I went for a 5K walk with a staff member that day.

If we were having coffee, next I’d tell you about the stroopwafel cheesecake I made yesterday. I made it because my one-on-one got renewed, something I really hadn’t expected. The cake was extremely sweet and a calorie bomb as they say here but who cares? It was also delicious, after all.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I’ve really been feeling creatively motivated lately but have been struggling to put this motivation into action. As a result, I haven’t been doing much with my polymer clay lately. I’d really like to change that soon. I did order new clay, because I want to experiment with Cernit and also because some of my Fimo is too crumbly to condition without exerting enormous effort.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I did come up with the idea of using my two-hour activity time slot for cooking a simple meal for myself and my fellow clients. We could then reheat it in the oven or microwave when it’s dinnertime.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you my assigned staff asked me to think of goals for my upcoming care plan. He did say that these goals do not need to be all that drastic or anything and that simply having a meaningful life could be a goal in itself. I mean, my staff at the intensive support home have been pushing me to create independence-focused goals but I really don’t care for those given the discrepancy between the fact that technically my body still functions okay but due to overload tasks still cost me tons of energy. I mean what if staff and I set a goal for me to achieve a certain task and I physically achieve it in three months’ time, then staff will always expect me to do it independently because purely physically speaking I can. Then because it costs me tons of energy I’ll end up neglecting it if I don’t have supervision (ie. someone pushing me to do it) and we end up back at square one. And to be honest, I don’t want to have someone supervise my every task that I can do myself just so they can tell me to do it myself and push me far beyond my capacity limits in terms of energy.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d tell you all that I’m looking to finally turn my room into an actual living space. I’m looking to buy some more furniture and also to possibly decorate it more. Currently, there’s a box full of junk in my room that I could really empty out. I mean, after I’ve finished my crisis signaling plan, because the folder from Raalte is in there. In its place, I’d like to put a second nightstand or small cabinet, so that I can put my claying supplies in there rather than in a box under my bed. I am also looking to put some poster on my wall, probably something not too weird. I mean, I originally wanted to go for a unicorn theme but that’d be all very flashy, which isn’t exactly my style.

Speaking of unicorns, I will be wearing a unicorn-themed Christmas hoodie this year, like last year. It’s a little on the big side now, but not too much so.

Hope you all have a lovely Christmas.