Gratitude List (December 22, 2024) #TToT

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining Ten Things of Thankful today. Let’s see what I’ve been grateful for over the past week.

1. Pizza. Technically, this is one from last week. Last Sunday, there was no meal delivery service meal I liked, so I chose to get takeout pizza. I chose one with onions, mushrooms, bell peppers, sausages and fresh garlic.

2. Another food one: my Christmas hamper. This year, we had the choice between a food hamper either regular or low-cal, a beauty hamper or a crafty one. Figuring that budgets are tight, I decided to go for the regular food hamper, as I doubted what was in the others would be of interest to me. I got marshmallows, chocolate, chips, whipped cream and waffles, cocoa and maybe I forgot something. Oh yes, I did: pretzel sticks, but I gave those away. I probably gained several pounds from enjoying the food and I have the marshmallows and chocolate still unopened.

3. Oh wait, another food one and a more likely cause of weight gain: a new staff had gotten chocolate with salted caramel as a welcome present to the care agency, but she didn’t like salted caramel, so gave the bar to me. That one is gone by now.

4. The fact that I was able to take a bath on Wednesday. I used a bath bomb that changed colors and had a nice scent (although for the life of me I can’t remember which).

5. My decreased antipsychotic dosage that I started on last Friday. I’m now on 15mg of Abilify a day. So far, I haven’t been significantly more irritable.

6. The fact that the days are officially getting longer now. Man, do I hate winter and especially the darkness.

7. A good visit from my spouse today. We hadn’t seen each other last week, so the visit felt extra special. We went shopping at Hema, my spouse’s favorite store, and ate lunch there too.

8. The fact that I was able to go for a walk today despite the weather being rather gloomy in the afternoon. Thankfully though, no rain in the evening.

9. The fact that I’m still creatively inspired. And generally more motivated to do things than I used to be.

10. Peace. I mean both inner peace and outer peace. That is, I’m still experiencing anxiety, but it isn’t nearly as severe as it was several months ago. I’m also so grateful that, at least for now, I live in peace.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (November 9, 2024)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. I apologize for not having commented on anyone else’s posts last week. As I write this, it’s 5:15PM, so I’ve just had dinner. I won’t have my next cup of coffee until 7PM, but at least I’m not writing that it’s too late at night for coffee for me. Let’s have a drink and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s quite chilly, though most days the daytime high is still above normal. Most days, it’s been around 10°C, but yesterday the temperature didn’t climb above 6°C. We haven’t had more than a slight drizzle of rain.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I’ve been doing okay in the health and wellness department. I walked everyday, though not as far as I’d have liked. I also downloaded the FitOn app onto my iPhone and did a workout on it yesterday. My eating has been okay and I lost half a kilogram over the past week. Sleep has been all over the place though.

If we were having coffee, next I’d share that this week has been tough. You might remember that I shared several months ago about the improvements to my care that would take effect in mid-October. Some did happen indeed, while others didn’t and the end result is that my quality of life isn’t improving.

Part of the problem is the fact that half the team rigidly shove the new rules down my throat and the rest do as they please regardless of what my new day schedule says. For example, in my new day schedule, there are now shift codes assigned to times my staff are with me, so that it’s hopefully clearer for everyone who will be supporting me. Some staff have been rigidly following the rules, while others changed things up, sometimes at the last moment. Most staff also don’t tell me who has which shift a day in advance, yet when I am supported by a staff one day who rigidly follows the rules, they’ll tell me that so-and-so will be supporting me half an hour in advance and not care that I didn’t know the day before because their coworker didn’t tell me. And they’re unwilling to change things up because the day schedule says they can’t. This means I’ve had to deal with new-to-me temp workers three times this week and, at least once, I wasn’t told the day before that they’d be supporting me. This led to me having an outburst and telling my staff that I didn’t want the temp worker. I wasn’t demanding someone else, for clarity’s sake, but the temp worker refused to leave me alone too, despite the fact that I’m not under involuntary care.

There were other things discussed at the meeting that these rules were decided at, but I don’t see these being implemented at all. For this reason, my trust in my support coordinator and behavior specialist has suffered again.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d share that I had a phone appt with an independent client supporter on Tuesday. This appt had been on the calendar for months and I originally intended to say it’s all fine here and to close my file at her agency. That’s not how it went: I was honest that, while I do see my staff have good intentions, it’s still proving hard to figure out the care I need and to make it work with the way the home works. She recommended involving the Center for Consultation and Expertise (CCE) again. This is an organization that helps care agencies and clients when they’re stuck.

I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I am hopeful that an external organization can shed new light onto the situation or, if not, I’m able to accept that my home are doing all they can. On the other hand, I feel slightly guilty for not being able to suck it up when things seemed so positive at the meeting. Hope is the dominant feeling though.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (November 2, 2024)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this first Saturday of November. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. Can I offer you a drink? Let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. The daytime temperatures have been between 13°C and 16°C this week. We got a little rain here and there, but for the upcoming week, no rain is in the forecast. Daylight saving time also ended last week, so it’s now dark by 5:30PM. If you know me, you know I seriously hate this with a passion.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I haven’t been walking nearly as much as I’d have liked. I didn’t even close my activity rings on my Apple Watch each time this week. Yesterday and today have been quite good though. I signed up for a month-long challenge in the Challenges app, but I honestly don’t think I’m as interested in it as I was the last few times I participated.

On Thursday, I wanted to go swimming, but we arrived at the institution pool only to find out it was closed.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that, as regular readers of my blog know, this time of year is hard for me. Today marks 17 years since my major mental breakdown. I could try to reclaim the month by creating positive memories, but the last time I wanted to do this, I couldn’t make it last beyond that one November. I’m fully intending to stay at my current home for a long while and I can see my staff fully intend to help me in this process, but then again intentions aren’t enough.

If we were having coffee, I’d expand on this further by saying I’ve been quite a pain in the butts of my staff lately. I can honestly see why: I’m (subconsciously) pushing their limits because I think (know?) that, when I’m truly myself, they’ll kick me out. Knowing that abandonment feels safe to me because it’s what I know, unfortunately doesn’t make it any easier to change my actual actions, because when I’m dysregulated, I don’t realize I’m projecting my own fears onto my staff.

If we were having coffee, lastly though I’d tell you about the positive aspects of the past week. Firstly, I went to markets twice this week. Secondly, I tried my hand at creating a little Christmas wreath out of polymer clay. I’m not one to plan my crafty endeavors and in fact I have the snowman I crafted nearly two years ago on display year-round. I really hope to craft a few more little decorations before Christmas truly starts in early December.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (September 28, 2024)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again today. It’s nearly 10PM here, so no coffee for me. If you’d like some though, pour yourself a cup and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d moan about the weather. I had to check back to last week’s coffee share to see if memory was serving me well, as I almost couldn’t believe the daytime high was above 20°C then. Today, the daytime high was only 14°C. It was raining all day yesterday and most of the day today too.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that, as a result of the rainy weather, I almost didn’t meet my movement goal on my Apple Watch yesterday. I was tempted to lower my goal for that day specifically, but my spouse convinced me that would be cheating. I then danced around my room for about 25 minutes so that at least I’d meet my goal. I didn’t meet my exercise goal, but that doesn’t count towards the perfect month award.

During most of the rest of the week, I didn’t walk much at
all either. On Thursday, however, I went swimming. This was great!

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I’ve also been quite fatigued lately. I’m probably starting to experience a touch of the seasonal blues.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I had bloodwork on Monday. I had no idea why and in fact was convinced they got me mixed up with another client. Apparently not. However, I had already had breakfast and one of the things needing to be checked was glucose. I thought this would be problematic, but the nurse said it wasn’t. I finally found out the reason for the bloodwork yesterday: it was the fact that I’d been experiencing night sweats. I had long attributed those to the warmer weather, but then again they aren’t gone now (though they’ve lessened). Fingers crossed for all normal results.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I had a meeting with my support coordinator, behavior specialist and mother-in-law on Monday. It was a bit difficult. Though I could see my support coordinator doing her best to help me, it was still quite hard to feel the limits of what she can do for me.

For example, I had been struggling with play therapy because a staff I don’t realy trust had been attending it with me. My support coordinator tried her best to find a somewhat trusted staff for me in the coming weeks but couldn’t, so I felt like giving in and accepting a staff I at least don’t feel bad about.

The next day, I had a candid conversation with my support coordinator. That was somewhat reassuring. Play therapy on Wednesday was still more or less useless.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that next week, I’ll be video-recorded in my interactions with a staff. The goal is for staff to look at the tiny signs that might lead to distress and things they can do or not do to help me.

If we were having coffee, I’d end on an upbeat note by saying I’ve been making a lot of smoothies lately. I don’t really have the energy for polymer clay or the like, but preparing a smoothie takes only five to ten minutes. I always create enough to share with at least some of my fellow clients and they truly appreciate it. My best one was a smoothie with pineapple, banana, coconut water and a pinch of cinnamon.

I also finally managed to make a delicious mug cake. I mean, the ones I made before were okay, but there was always something slightly off about them. The only thing about this one was the fact that I couldn’t wait for it too completely cool before consuming it. Otherwise, it was great!

#WeekendCoffeeShare (September 21, 2024)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all on this beautiful Saturday in September. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. It’s 7:30PM, so I just had my last cup of coffee for the day. I also had a delicious smoothie I made. I must admit, I normally don’t make the best smoothies, or at least I don’t really like them myself. This one though was absolutely great! I used banana, pineapple, coconut water and a bit of cinnamon. The cinnamon was old, so even though I’m pretty sure I put quite a bit into my smoothie, I only got a slight taste of it. I shared what I had left with my fellow residents, but since this is a virtual get-together, you are invited to grab a virtual cup.

If we were having coffee, first I’d share about the weather. It’s been absolutely gorgeous with daytime temperatures of about 23°C most of the week. It’s also been quite sunny. Mornings are chilly, but then again it’s September, so that makes perfect sense. Tomorrow is supposed to be the last warm day and then next week daytime temps are supposed to drop to as low as 13°C.

If we were having coffee, I’d probably be stating the obvious if I said I’ve been walking a lot. I sometimes feel guilty when this is pretty much all I do during my allocated activity time. Then again, I tell myself the weather isn’t going to be as beautiful as it is now forever.

I also have been taking photos on my walks. That is, I usually hand my phone to my staff, who then will be snapping the pictures. I enjoy it nonetheless. Yesterday, we were able to capture a bunny.

I have also been loving using Be My Eyes and other image description apps. Be My Eyes was even able to correct me and my staff on what type of bird was swimming in the institution pond.

If we were having coffee, I’d talk a little about the new iOS and WatchOS versions that came out on Monday. They’re quite stable and there aren’t many bugs affecting VoiceOver or Braille use. That’s a rarity with the first release of a major software update. I didn’t initially think I’d care for iOS 18, but WatchOS 11 does have some nice features and I’d need iOS 18 for that. I am looking forward to seeing my Vitals trend in a few weeks.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’ve been struggling a little with flashbacks and nightmares. I am, thankfully, for the most part still able to cope.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that on Wednesday, I celebrated one year in my current care home. I treated the entire home to burgers again, like on my birthday, but this time the salad I made as a side dish was the highlight for me.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d tell you that on Thursday, it was my and my spouse’s thirteenth wedding anniversary. We drove to Nijmegen to have lunch at what I consider to be my favorite restaurant, Dromaai. Not that the food is exceptionally good, but I have fond memories of eating out here with my partner when I still lived in Nijmegen.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (September 7, 2024)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. It’s 7:40PM as I start writing my post, so like most times, I’ve had my last cup of coffee for the day. I will have a glass of my favorite soft drink in about half an hour and after that it’s just water, or maybe a cup of bedtime tea. However, I’d love for you to join me for a virtual cup of coffee. Let’s get into my post.

If we were having coffee, first I’d rave about the weather. After all, if you know me, you know that in my opinion summer is the best season. It’s September, but the weather is still summer-like. During most of the week, we had daytime highs above 25°C. Tomorrow, it’s supposed to cool off slightly and after that, sometime next week the temps are supposed to drop to 15°C.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I got in a lot of exercise minutes over the past week, mostly walking. I’m doing a challenge with my spouse on our Apple Watches that lasts up till this Monday and so far, I’m doing much better. I had expected to be slightly better because my spouse is a truck driver, but then again we have the same movement goal even though I’m shorter and as a result lighter than my spouse, which means I burn off fewer calories with the same activity.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I had my second play therapy session on Wednesday. The first was a bit of a disappointment, because as soon as she saw my staff, the therapist started saying I could come alone next time. I felt mostly disappointed about the fact that she hadn’t asked me or my staff why I need a staff to attend our sessions. When I explained this at this week’s session, she was totally cool with it.

We mostly played with PlayMobil®, which was really intriguing. I did overshare a bit this week, which I later regretted. It feels really challenging to set healthy boundaries, which is one of my goals that I told the therapist about.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I spoke with my support coordinator again today. On Monday I had a meeting with her and the behavior specialist. One of the things I’d asked to be implemented as soon as possible, is the agreement that staff won’t unlock the door for me when I’m in crisis and will, if necessary, physically prevent me from leaving the home. I had since wondered where the agreement that the door be unlocked came from. I looked at my support agreements, but there was nothing. Today, my support coordinator looked all through my file and couldn’t find the agreement either. This frustrates me, as honestly I have no idea who came up with it. It wouldn’t have been as frustrating, had this not been interpreted as a rule by literally all staff, even staff who hadn’t previously let me out the door. I mean, on Thursday I said I was leaving in an agitated tone and immediately the staff said she’d unlock the door for me. It frustrates me to no end that staff are making rules that they don’t write down and that, as a result, can’t be discussed with me. I hope that, once my support coordinator writes the agreement that I can’t be let out the door, which she’s going to do on Tuesday, this at least will stop in this case. I’m pretty sure there are many other unwritten rules about my care though.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d tell you I’m really feeling like doing something with polymer clay again, but I am rather uninspired. I did try to make a flower pendant this evening, but so far it’s just a cut out flower with no detail.

Daily Habits I Already Do That Improve My Quality of Life

Posted on by Astrid
Daily writing prompt
What daily habit do you do that improves your quality of life?
View all responses

So many times, we think about the habits we could add to our daily routine to improve our quality of life. I at least do and then the only thing I do is make a list of them, but I don’t actually add most habits to my daily routine. I must admit, there’s very little I do literally everyday. This, however, is a nice reminder to look at the tiny things I do (almost) daily that improve my life.

  1. Get up at a reasonable time. I used to be a big one for lie-ins until late morning or early afternoon. Now though, I always get up between 8AM and 8:30AM. Yes, also on weekends. I sometimes go back to bed after breakfast for about half an hour, but I consider that my chill moment rather than me needing the extra sleep.
  2. Eat breakfast. I sometimes skip lunch or dinner, but I never skip breakfast. This hasn’t always been the case. Like, when I was a teen usually the first thing I’d pop into my mouth would be a candy bar or two from the school vending machine. Even when in the mental hospital, I’d often not wake up until mid-morning or later and would skip breakfast.
  3. Brush my teeth. This is another one that hasn’t always been this way. Like, in the mental hospital I’d skip toothbrushing more often than I’d actually do it. The staff thought that I just didn’t want to brush my teeth and,, since I had a borderline personality disorder diagnosis, this was considered “my choice”. However, I struggled with the feel of the manual toothbrush, the taste of toothpaste and I’d often simply forget to brush my teeth.

    Now, I get reminded to brush my teeth and my staff supervise me. Though I haven’t found a solution to the toothpaste issue, using an electric toothbrush helps a lot already.
  4. Go for a walk. Or several. This is something I don’t literally do everyday, but 99% of the time, I go for at least one longer walk.
  5. Call or text my spouse. Social interaction helps improve quality of life too, so I include this one. I sometimes am so busy with my morning activity that I don’t text my spouse until early afternoon, but not a day goes by when we don’t interact.

Looking at this list, most of these habits I do in the morning. That’s so interesting, since I consider myself a night person. Things I do in the evening that improve my life, however, aren’t usually literally daily habits.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (August 10, 2024)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this beautiful Saturday in August. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. It’s nearly 10PM, so I’ve long had my last cup of coffee and my soft drink for the day. I, however, do have Kinder Country candy bars in my cupboard, as well as lots of other candy. I bet I could persuade the staff to open the cupboard for you, but I can’t persuade them to brew you a coffee. Water will have to do. Anyway, let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, I’d start by sharing about the weather. It’s mostly been quite warm with daytime temps in the mid to high 20s Celsius. We did get rain yesterday, but thankfully no thunderstorms. On Monday, the daytime high is supposed to be 32°C. I’m a warm weather person, but that’s too hot even for my liking.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I did a lot of walking over the past week. On four days out of the past seven, I got in over 100 exercise minutes according to my Apple Watch and I didn’t even go swimming this week, as the institution pool is closed now.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that I’ve been struggling a lot lately. Part of the reason I’m showing it more might be the fact that I discontinued my morning dose of topiramate a little over a month ago, but it’s not (just) that which explains why I’m feeling like crap. After all, I’ve been feeling like crap for months. Make that years, honestly. I am realizing I never recovered from the blow to my self-esteem that was being more or less kicked out of the care home in Raalte. No, don’t interrupt that I wasn’t kicked out, since I know I literally wasn’t. However, when I realized the intensive support home was the nightmare it was and asked to be put on the waiting list to return (or actually return, since I asked before my room was filled up), I was told that some people had actually been glad that I’d left.

Why is this relevant now? Because, even though my current home is better than the intensive support home, I’m still feeling like I’m massively overloaded and my capabilities are massively overestimated when I’m struggling. This leads to staff not following my current support agreements, which even when followed to a T create just about barely manageable a care situation if even that when I’m feeling low (they’re okay when I’m feeling good). I know I said the same of my day schedule back at the intensive support home, but I only said so because my staff there had already decided I was a spoiled brat and wouldn’t stop complaining until I had full-time one-to-one. Which was almost correct before topiramate, but it wasn’t when I was on this medication. And it isn’t now either. After all, when I wished for near full-time one-on-one back in 2021, I didn’t realize its implications in care. I do now.

I realize I might need to go back on my full dose of topiramate (even though the evening dose is going to be discontinued next week too), but I don’t think it’s an excuse to keep everything else the exact same, since my needs weren’t being met before I discontinued this medication. In short, yes, the med might get me to shut up, or it might not, but either way something else needs to change too.

After many meltdowns, I finally wrote down my care needs in a document and E-mailed this to my assigned staff. I did water them down a little to make them manageable within the way my home operates, but not so much that I’d have every reason to still complain if the team decide to implement this. At the end of the document, I put in a brief summary of my care in Raalte (in early 2022, so when the team had already fallen apart) and asked for recognition of the improvements I’ve made since. I mean, I don’t seriously request to be moved now (I do blurt it out during meltdowns) and I wish I got half as suitable care as I got back then.

The support coordinator mostly making decisions about me, is on vacation now, but she’ll return on Tuesday. I hope I’ll have a meeting with her and the behavior specialist soon to discuss my needs.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share some positives of the day today. I realize this post was mostly negative, after all, but today was a pretty good day. Here are some reasons why:

  • My assigned staff was here this morning.

  • She brought me a cup of coffee right when waking me up.

  • Even though we were late finishing my morning routine, the staff coming for my morning activity came right on time.

  • I went for three walks today.

  • I had a waffle with forest fruit jelly, powdered sugar and whipped cream on it with my afternoon coffee. And a macaron in the morning. Sorry not sorry, dietitian.

  • I was able to ask the staff who did my afternoon activity with me, whether she’s leaving (which I thought because I’d seen her with a client from another home) and thankfully she said no. I am proud of myself for up front asking her rather than getting distressed.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (July 13, 2024)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’ve once again not been blogging, but this time it’s not because I’m struggling. Well, I still don’t feel the greatest, but the main reason I haven’t blogged is that something else has caught my attention. I’ll talk about it in a minute. Want a coffee? I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare once again. It’s past 10PM, so no coffee for me, but since this is a virtual get-together, you can have whatever you like. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

First, if we were having coffee, I’d share about the weather. It’s been all over the place. On Tuesday, it was hot and humid with a daytime high of 30°C. Then we got this giant thunderstorm. Wednesday and Thursday were still okay with daytime temperatures of around 22°C. Yesterday though, it was not just raining all day, but it was freakin’ frigid with a daytime high of 16°C. Today is slightly better.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that, despite having my new Apple Watch wristband, I didn’t meet my movement goals each day this week. I blame the weather. I thankfully no longer care as much as I used to and can sit back and relax every now and again rather than having to keep up with my activity rings. I did try to walk each day (except for yesterday) and went swimming on Thursday too.

If we were having coffee, next I’d tell you that, yesterday, I went to an Eye Association meeting for young people who are blind or visually impaired (and a few who have an eye condition but can still see quite well). I originally thought I’d be too old to qualify as a “young person”, but the target age group is 18-45. I had a good time, but towards the end got quite overloaded. I had a near-meltdown when the taxi driver called me but I couldn’t hear him over the noise in the cafe in which the meeting was held. I for a bit thought I upset the entire group and wouldn’t be welcome anymore, but thankfully it wasn’t this bad according to several people.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d tell you all about my latest obsession. I originally wanted to write a separate post about it on Thursday, but got distracted by the actual thing. It’s learning Spanish on Duolingo. I’m currently still at the early A1 level of proficiency. My spouse and mother-in-law have both been learning Spanish on this app for several months. What got me into it though was a conversation in a Facebook group about language learning. Some people said Duolingo isn’t always correct, but I’m not sure whether they were referring to a specific language. I can see why though in a way, as for example early on in the Spanish course, you’re learning the word “elegante”, which Duolingo claims translates to “elegant”. Now I’ve never heard an English-speaking person use the word “elegant” in everyday conversation. I honestly couldn’t care less though, as if I ever get to a point where I can actually talk in Spanish outside of the app, I’ll teach myself the finer details of conversation.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (July 6, 2024)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today, I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. As I start typing my post, I’ve just had dinner, but I probably won’t be finished with my post until after my evening coffee, as I’ll take a break from writing for my evening activity time slot. In case I am able to offer you a virtual coffee – which I will anyway, since it’s virtual -, I will offer you a stroopwafel biscuit with it too. I bought those at the supermarket this afternoon, because the staff ordering groceries this week either forgot to order large cookies for the weekend or thought they’re bad for our health. Anyway, let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d moan about the weather. It’s been rainy and chilly most of the week with daytime temperatures barely reaching 20°C. On Wednesday, the daytime high in fact was as low as 16°C.

If we were having coffee, next I’d share that I tore my Apple Watch wristband in two last week. That is, I pulled a tear into it when putting it on once, then when trying to put it on once more thinking I could still use another hole, I tore the entire thing in two, thereby dropping my Apple Watch. Thankfully, it didn’t break, but I couldn’t use it for a couple of days because of having no wristband. I mean, the wristband that broke wasn’t the original one, but somehow I must’ve discarded part of the original, since I could only find half of it.

I initially tried to order a new wristband and screen protector online, but the Apple Store would only let me pay by credit card and, though I did manage to order a screen protector off Bol.com, it was delivered to my in-laws’ house and hadn’t been delivered there yet by the time my mother-in-law visited me on Tuesday. I finally decided to just give it a try and order a wristband at another store and have it delivered to the care home. Like I’ve said a few times, the care home does have its own postal code, but I was originally instructed to address mail to the main building and add my home as second address line. Bol.com won’t accept second address lines and so I always used to have them deliver to my in-laws. Not anymore, since the wristband, addressed to the care home, arrived promptly and so did the screen protector I ordered that evening. Now I’ll have two screen protectors once my spouse brings the one that’s lying around at my in-laws’, but who cares? I have a working Apple Watch at last!

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that the fact that it was raining plus the fact that I didn’t have my Apple Watch meant I didn’t walk nearly as much over the past week as I usually do. On Monday, I got pretty frustrated, because a temp worker happened to be assigned my two-hour activity time slot three times this week. Granted, he’s a regular temp worker here, but I had not yet trusted him enough to do anything other than play games and go for medium-long walks. On Monday I was anticipating two hours of dice games because of the weather, but thankfully it stopped raining eventually and we could go for a short walk.

Then on Tuesday, he told one of my most trusted staff that he’d love to work with clay with me. On Monday, the way he’d suggested we work with clay, it sounded as though he was just rattling off my activity list and I don’t do clay with staff I don’t trust to show at least some interest in it. I mean, they don’t need to know anything about polymer clay or even crafts in general, but if they’re the type to just sit around playing on their phone, a complex activity like polymer clay isn’t for them and me to work on together.

So on Wednesday, I decided to take the plunge and make a unicorn with him. At first, I used Cernit, which was way too soft, so I eventually gave up and chose Fimo. He asked to take the finished unicorn home with him to show his children, which I was happy to allow him to after I’d taken a picture, since I have many unicorns anyway.

Polymer Clay Unicorn

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I started tapering one of my medications yesterday. It’s not the medication I originally wanted to taper, which was my antipsychotic, aripiprazole (Abilify). Instead, the intellectual disability physician suggested I discontinue my morning dose of topiramate (Topamax), which was supposed to help against nightmares and flashbacks. So far, I’m not noticing any difference good or bad, but it’s still early days of course.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d tell you all to come to my home tomorrow. No, not really, but we will have a barbecue here. The parents of one of my fellow clients organize it, so I decided to buy them some chocolate as a thank-you gift.