Of Elements, Songs and World War III

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Esther’s writing prompt this week is “Element(s)”. I was immediately reminded of the song The Elements by Tom Lehrer.

Tom Lehrer, who passed away this summer at the age of 97, was a comedian and singer, though to be honest like most male comedians, he couldn’t actually sing. Then again, neither can I, but I don’t try. I don’t care whether he could sing or not though, as his song lyrics were brilliant. The Elements isn’t nearly his best song.

I love his songs about current events. Though they were written in the 1960s, some still ring true, in a scary kind of way.

I honestly have been feeling more and more unsafe over the past year or so. I mean, Millennials like me were in our teens when the 9/11 terrorist attacks happened and the world (or rather I should say the West) hasn’t been at peace ever since. I mean, the world’s never been at peace, but in 1989, the West at least thought it had won. Not so. Now with Trump in office in the United States, I wonder who “the West” even are anymore. I, being in Europe, feel more and more like it’s not just Russia and China who might cause the next world war, but Alabama might as well.

I feel more and more scared when I use my mantra that everything will be okay in 2034. I know, I started this thing as a satirical take on the book 2034, which is about the next world war. I realize now that the authors of the book were actually quite serious, but a few years ago, I thought I could turn things around by saying everything will be okay. I don’t mean this to be blasphemous, but I honestly got the idea from the Bible. I mean, I remember when I was (pretending to be) a Christian, I at one point wrote that everything will be okay in 2021 and sort of hoped that Christ would return that year. He didn’t, and as a non-believer I doubt He will in 2034.

Of course, I try to hope that there won’t be a World War III in 2034 or ever. But if there will be, I hope whoever presses the button, will remember Tom Lehrer’s survival hymn.

Gratitude List (August 24, 2025) #TToT

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s been a while since I last joined Ten Things of Thankful (#TToT), but today, I feel like it. Here are my gratefuls for the past week.

1. Baking a cake. Earlier this week, I decided to use up the second of three cake mixes I’d gotten from my parents for my birthday. It was raspberry cake. Unfortunately, I found out today that the third mix had an expiration date in April, so I threw it away. Now I do think the other mixes probably had their expiration dates at the same time, as they came in one package, but oh well.

2. A long bike ride. On Wednesday, the staff and I rode the side-by-side bike to the nearby town to get groceries, only for me to realize then that I didn’t know what groceries I’d wanted to buy, so we decided to just bike around. It turned out I’ve broken my record for the longest bike ride at 19.3km.

3. The night staff. I’ve been needing their support a few times lately and often feel like a burden. The night staff used to make that feeling worse by telling me to “just try to sleep”. Thankfully, recently they’re telling me that I am not a burden and they’re there for me as much as they are there for everyone else. Even if they don’t fully mean this, it helps me feel more comfortable.

4. The staff having cooked chicken and noodles for us on Wednesday.

5. An institution cafeteria sandwich on Thursday.

6. Green tea. Always, green tea. I’ve been requesting it in the evening more often lately and that’s been feeling good.

7. My having been allowed to play DJ again with the home’s large Bluetooth speaker. I mostly played ABBA songs, but did one MARINA song too, realizing only when it’d started that it was rather explicit. Oh well, most of the residents don’t know English and the few who do, just chuckled at it.

8. Mini candy bars. A fellow resident’s parents brought them yesterday and they are yum! I only found out that they were from Aldi today. If I’d known earlier, I’d have asked my spouse to drive by there on the way from Apeldoorn to the institution so that I could pick up a bag myself.

9. Diarium, a diary app. Recently, there was a discussion on Reddit about journaling and I decided to give this app, which is available on both Windows and iOS, another try. It has a lot fewer features than Day One, but Day One’s web-based interface (there’s no PC app) honestly sucks.

10. The weather. We’ve been having lower temps this week than last week and I’ve had to wear my jeans again and even put on a jacket some of the time. Still, it’s been warm and sunny enough.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (May 31, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. I originally wanted to write another post first, but got distracted by a dozen other ideas. It’s 9PM here, so no more coffee for me. I need to drink plenty of water because I have some extra fluid in my right leg. Let’s have a glass of water and let’s chat. Or if you’d like coffee, fine by me too.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. For most of the week, it’s been quite rainy and too chilly for my liking, even though the daytime temperature was probably still higher than it should be. Today though, we have sunshine and a daytime high of 25°C.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I haven’t been as physically active as I’d have wanted to be. Like I said above, I have some unwanted fluid in my right leg. My leg also hurts from muscle knots. I had a dry needling treatment at the physical therapist’s on Tuesday and am having another one next Wednesday. I am not 100% sure it’s working, as on Thursday my pain was worse and besides, I don’t know which pain or limitation is from the muscle knots and which is from the fluid build-up.

Today was a good day in the walking department though. Next week is the institution’s four-day walking event. I’m going to take part in the 3km walk, but I’ll be allowed to sit in a wheelchair as needed (thankfully, this event isn’t as strict on walking as some others are). That way, I can take part in the festivities and enjoy the experience but don’t need to overexert myself.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you about my creative endeavors over the past week. I finished two unicorns for the home’s volunteers on Monday.

That day, I also found out that one of the student staff would be leaving. He didn’t work with me, but I know him because he used to be a student staff at the care facility in Raalte before coming here. Back then, we used to go on walks together, taking his camera with us and snapping pictures which my image description app could then describe. The app wasn’t nearly as advanced as it is now, so I might want to look up some of these pictures and run them through Be My Eyes now.

Anyway, I wanted to craft something for him but didn’t know what until my best friend asked me what his hobbies are. I initially said that I don’t know, then remembered our photographing adventures back in Raalte and said “photography”. My best friend immediately suggested I craft a camera. I had never done so, but my best friend gave me some suggestions. Here’s the result. Be My Eyes recognized it immediately and even said that the photo of the back I took might be of a miniature camera.


If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I cooked pasta for my fellow residents on Thursday. It wasn’t as good as it could’ve been, because the veg had been overcooked and generally speaking the meal was a bit bland. Better luck next time.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share that yesterday, on the student staff’s last shift, I played DJ again at the other side of the home. I initially played some Dutch-language songs that were apparently not well-known, but finally I chose “Oerend hard” by Normaal and that had my fellow residents loudly singing along.

Overall, this week was a good one except for the pain.

When Pluto Was a Planet #SoCS

Posted on by Astrid

This morning, I read on a major Dutch news app that a dwarf planet had been discovered on the outskirts of our solar system, reducing the chances that there’s a ninth planet in our solar system to extremely low.

Wait… there are nine planets, right? That’s what I was taught in school and I’m not that old, am I? Or Maybe I am, since it’s been nearly 20 years since Pluto was officially declassified as a planet. It’s now a dwarf planet just like the newly-discovered one, even though Pluto is four times the size of this one.

That brings me to nostalgia in general. That time when Pluto was a planet, when there were 15 million people in the Netherlands… that’s a song, but there are now 18 million. I guess either time flies or I’m getting old or both, since there will always be 15 million people inn the Netherlands and Pluto will always be a planet. Oh, that’s rather ignorant.

This post was written for Stream of Consciousness Saturday, for which the prompt this week is “that time”. I’ve included the Spotify link to the song because YouTube doesn’t seem to work properly.

Gratitude List (December 29, 2024) #TToT

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m doing a gratitude list again. As usual, I’m linking it up with Ten Things of Thankful. Here goes.

1. A nice Christmas-themed walk around institution grounds on Tuesday. We were able to see lights, listen to a barrel organ playing festive jingles and at the end of the walk, we could do some crafty things like decorate a clementine with cloves and create a paper rose.

2. The fact that the labeling tape I ordered online early in the week, actually arrived on time for my visit to my in-laws on Christmas (where I’d had it delivered) and the tape also fit into my home’s label printer. I as a result was finally able to label my new clay.

3. Fries. I always have to include several food-theemd thankfuls, don’t I? On Tuesday, we had French fries.

4. Seeing my spouse and in-laws on Christmas.

5. Making salad on Boxing Day. A student staff’s mother had made homemade Turkish-style meatballs called köfte.

6. Being able to play DJ at the home’s dance party on Friday. Another student staff had brought his large Bluetooth-enabled speaker and I asked him if I’d be allowed to connect it to my iPhone and be the DJ. That was so cool! At first, I played ABBA like I’d requested the staff do the previous time we had a party. Then I put on a random EDM playlist, but that wasn’t well-received, so I switched to my own personal playlist of Dutch and dialect songs.

7. Getting in lots of exercise minutes today. I took three longer walks.

8. The fact that my support coordinator reassured me that, pending my one-on-one renewal request, things will stay the same for now and no hours will be cut. Officially, my one-on-one needs renewing by January 1 and we haven’t heard anything yet. I’m still struggling with my current hours particularly in the evenings, so I really hope that things won’t get worse. We’ll see.

9. Meeting up with my spouse again yesterday. And looking forward to going to our house over New Year’s.

10. The fact that the festive season is almost over. I can’t stand all the chaos.

Music Moves Me (December 9, 2024): Dancing Queen!

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I joined in with Music Moves Me many years ago and rediscovered it a few weeks back.

Guess what? On Saturday, one of the student staff had brought a Bluetooth speaker and he was blasting music in the other side of the home’s living room. One of the clients there knew the lyrics to every song. They were Dutch-language songs, none of which I knew, because that’s not my taste in music.

However, I at one point decided to move over there and request the staff put on a song I knew. The first band that came to mind was ABBA.

I and a few other clients were singing and dancing along and it was so much fun! The client who knew all the lyrics to the Dutch songs, sang along too.

We danced to a few more ABBA songs and then the staff asked us to name another artist or band. I came up with P!nk and mentioned her song Cover Me in Sunshine.

I honestly had no idea this song was a duet between P!nk and her daughter until I saw the music video list Willow Sage Hart and looked it up. I guess this makes me the most musically stupid person in the linky, but oh well. I just wanted to share that dancing made my evening. For this reason, I’m also joining in with Trent’s #WeeklySmile.

Several staff noticed how much fun we were having and they’re trying to get a Bluetooth speaker for the home. There’s a monthly dance event at the institution townhouse too, but that isn’t nearly as much fun.

Gratitude List (June 30, 2024) #TToT

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today, I’m doing a gratitude post. As usual, I’m linking it up with Ten Things of Thankful. I’m not in a good mood, but, as I usually say, that’s the best time to do gratitude posts, as it usually surprises me with how many things I can come up. Let’s go!

1. I am grateful for the weather. On Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, it was a little hot for my liking, but the temperatures setteld down eventually and today the daytime high was 23°C.

2. I am grateful I tolerate the heat pretty well. On those hotter days, when the daytime high was 30°C, everyone was complaining about being hot, but I handled it okay.

3. I am grateful the institution “townhouse” was finally opened last Tuesday. If I’m correct, construction finished over a year ago and I was half-joking that they’d built the thing without realizing budget cuts would mean there was no use for it. It will be used for leisure activities. I do wonder what will happen to the building these activities used to take place in, since that building too had extensive roof work done recently so I’m hoping they won’t just let that building rot.

4. I am grateful for cheesecake. I made it as a birthday treat for the entire home (both sides, so 20 clients plus staff) on Thursday. The staff I made it with, had never made a cake or pie before, but it was a definite success.

5. I am also grateful my order for buns at the local bakery went well. I was going to treat the entire home to hamburgers, but when I tried to order the buns online to be collected on Thursday, something on the payment website caused me to go paranoid and I canceled. My spouse calmed me down and I retried and was successful this time.

6. I am grateful the hamburgers were delicious! I had two of them.

7. Speaking of my birthday, I am grateful many of my fellow clients came by my room in the morning to wish me a happy birthday and to sing for me.

8. I am grateful for two cards from a former fellow client from the intensive support home. I by chance walked by there today and she called out to me and went inside to fetch the cards.

9. I am grateful for the gift voucher for one of my favorite clay stores I got from my sister. I am full of ideas of what to buy with it.

10. I am grateful for the music pillow I got from my spouse as a birthday present yesterday. It is connected to my iPhone via Bluetooth. After a bit of trial and error figuring out how it works, I slept like a log last night listening to one of my favorite calming music albums on Spotify.

What are you grateful for?

Stabilize With Medicine

Posted on by Astrid

I talked to the support coordinator, the one who’s officially the other part of the home’s support coordinator but attends my meetings with the behavior specialist because I don’t get along with my support coordinator (my former male assigned staff). She had talked to the intellectual disability physician and I won’t have a meeting with her on tapering my medication until late September. The reason is the fact that there’s lots of temp workers at the care home during the summer months and they want me stable for now. Well guess what? If you want to wait for there to be few temp workers, you’d better wait for 2034, as I usually say. For those not aware, 2034 is my code word for never. It’s inspired by the book called 2034, which is about World War III.

I’m pretty angry about this whole thing, because well I already have mildly decreased kidney function as is. That is, I had mildly decreased kidney function a year ago at my last bloodwork, so who knows if it’s gotten worse now? And, as you might know, kidney disease doesn’t usually cause symptoms until it’s pretty advanced.

I don’t even mind waiting till September, except that this means seven months on my current med combo rather than the originally planned six weeks. And except that who knows what will get in the way in September? For all I know, the support coordinator might’ve gotten pregnant or sick or have left like the last one.

I honestly feel like they want to stabilize me with medicine rather than with the right support. And, for what it’s worth, I’m not very stable as is. Never was. Not with five different medications, many of which on high doses.

This post was written for John Holton’s Writer’s Workshop, for which one of the prompts is to pick a line from a song you like and use it as the title of your post. I picked the line “Stabilize with medicine”, which I’m not sure is a full line, from the song Serotonin by Girl in red. This song is rather explicit, so I hope John doesn’t mind me sharing it in his challenge.

My Current Night-Time Routine

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I totally forgot about Writer’s Workshop this week, even though there are several prompts that appeal to me. I might just write another post tomorrow about another prompt, but tonight, I’m talking about my bedtime routine. Oh wait, I wrote a post about that already in 2022. Reading it makes me miss Raalte so much… even my night-time routine was better. Oh well, here’s my current night-time routine.

My night-time routine starts at 8PM with my getting into my nightwear. Even though this is early, I’m the last of my care home to get dressed into my nightwear. I also get my last round of meds at 8PM, which thankfully doesn’t include sleeping pills. The one time I took a sleeping pill while here, I had to take it at 9PM, which is still very early for me.

At 8:45PM, I usually get a small snack or a bit of fruit, because like I said I go to bed late and I’d feel hungry if my last food of the day (except for a biscuit at evening coffee time) was dinner at 5PM. Then at 9:30PM I brush my teeth, my staff lock my door that leads to the backyard and turn off my lights. Since I’m blind, I can function without light and, if the staff don’t turn off the light for me, I might forget or be bothered by the light if it’s set really bright, and I don’t know how the switch works.

Once I’m ready for bed, I turn off my computer and check the battery status of my iPhone. I sometimes forget to charge my Apple Watch before bedtime and then I put it on the charger for a few minutes to at least get a bit of power to last it through the night. Depending on the battery status of my iPhone and my mood, I might turn on relaxing music either for an hour or throughout the night.

I take off my slippers and usually my socks (except in the freezing depth of winter, then I leave my socks on). I have a weighted blanket that I lie under year-round. And no, it isn’t exceptionally hot in summer. I also fetch two specific stuffed animals: the lemur will have its tail across my stomach and the dolphin I will hold in my arms. I have about five more soft toys in my bed, but these usually just lie around my pillow.

I can sleep in all kinds of positions depending on my mood, the temperature in my room, etc. I usually have the headboard of my bed turned up pretty high. When I can’t sleep, I also turn the other end up. Yes, I know, it sounds weird. I am so grateful for my adjustable bed though. It isn’t a given, since just after I’d gotten this one in like 2021, the higher-ups in my care agency decided that people who weren’t severely physically disabled, didn’t qualify for adjustable beds. They didn’t take away mine though, thank goodness.

Daily Habits For a More Meaningful Life

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today was a good day for once. I went swimming for the first time in a long while. No, that’s a lie, since I went swimming with my fellow residents yesterday too. What I meant is that I was originally allocated this spot on Thursdays for swimming but haven’t been able to go yet for staffing-related reasons. Yay for an opportunity to go today!

This isn’t something I can do everyday or even each week, but there are lots of activities I could incorporate into my daily routine that will give me a more meaningful life. Today I’m joining Thursday Thirteen with a list of those.

1. Shower or wash myself. Personal hygiene often goes out the window when I’m depressed. Though I don’t really see its point in boosting my mood, in that for me the feeling of being clean doesn’t do that, I can at least say I accomplished something that day.

2. Brush my teeth. Same as above really.

3. Meditate. I’m not the kind of woman who is good at long body scans or the like, but I do love shorter, affirmation-based meditations.

4. Journal. This is something I don’t do nearly often enough. I really should be incorporating daily time to journal into my calendar. I love writing stream-of-consciousness style, but this isn’t usually suited for this blog.

5. Read. I don’t mean I should be reading a novel a day or something. Even a chapter in a children’s book could count. Like, today I read a few chapters in the second book in the Unicorn Academy series.

6. Diffuse some essential oils (or fragrance oils) in my diffuser. I’m not a strong believer in aromatherapy. I mean, I’ve literally slept like a log smelling a combo of all citrus oils over the past few nights. I do believe smelling good scents can help my mood though.

7. Listen to music. I really feel that music, any kind of music, can be good for my mental health. Whether it’s soothing instrumental music to sleep to or loud EDM when I need a confidence boost.

8. Walk. I do this almost each day already, but I’m adding it to this list anyway in case there’s a time when I forget about its importance in boosting my mood.

9. Move in general. I was going to list dancing as a separate item on this list, but then, though it would be easier to get to thirteen, it would be harder to incorporate everything into each day. I honestly feel that movement in general, whether it is dancing, yoga, cycling, swimming or whatever, helps my mood.

10. Drink a cup of green tea. I definitely feel that a daily cup of green tea could add to my mental wellbeing. Maybe it’s the fact that I usually have those with the staff members I trust a little when talking though.

11. Talk to other people, reach out for support. When there’s a day I cannot talk to any staff because there are all staff I don’t trust, I can always talk to my spouse or mother-in-law.

12. Write down my positives and negatives for the day. This usually helps me remember that, even on the hardest days, there are some moments I’ve felt okay.

13. Remember: pain is temporary, giving up is forever.