#WeekendCoffeeShare (November 18, 2023)

Hi everyone. I have barely touched the blog lately, but it’s not because I’ve been uninspired. Rather, I’ve mostly been doing other things online. Before I abandon it altogether, I thought I’d write a post though. I’m joining in with #WeekendCoffeeShare. I’ve had my last cup of coffee for the day, but thankfully my assigned staff ordered my favorite soft drink, apple and peach-flavored Dubbelfrisss, so I’ll have that in a bit. If you’d like one too, join me. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s been raining all day today and, though we were supposed to have a daytime high of 12°C, I don’t know when that was supposed to have been the case as it’s been around 7°C each time I looked at the weather on my Apple Watch. I haven’t been outside at all. I mean, I can bear the cold, but rain, yuck! I can tolerate it when it starts raining midway through a walk, but when it rains as I leave the house, I usually turn right around. Consequently, I didn’t meet my movement goal on my Apple Watch today at all. In fact, I’m pretty sure I hit an all-time low, but frankly, I don’t care.

The rest of the week, though we had some rain, it wasn’t constantly pouring. Though some days I needed to get out my winter coat, most days the daytime temperature wasn’t too cold either.

If we were having coffee, I’d cheat a little and tell you all about the meeting I had last week with my assigned staff, support coordinator, behavior specialist and my mother-in-law. Okay, who said you can only talk about the past week during a weekend coffee share? Maybe I did. Anyway, the meeting started out with my assigned staff complimenting me on how I do accept men and unfamiliar staff now. This rubbed me the wrong way, as the day prior he’d pretty much given me no choice, so what was I to do? I’ll see tomorrow whether they’ll go the full length and assign me a male staff for my ADLs (which is a big no for me), as then the female staff who normally always assigns me temp workers is working the morning shift with a male temp worker. Said temp worker is familiar with everyone here, but I am honestly quite sure she’s going to assign him to me for my morning routine anyway. Let me just say I’m going to throw a big hissy fit if this happens.

Other than that, the meeting went okay. We talked about my day schedule, which is okay in terms of how many hours of support I get but far from ideal in terms of how it’s cut up into small blocks. Since my ExtraCare (one-on-one) funding hasn’t been approved yet for next year, we’re waiting to see what happens to that to change anything. I’m pretty fearful the Care Office doesn’t consider every single moment the staff spend with me as ExtraCare, as, well, it isn’t, but the manager does. Oh well, we’ll see.

We also talked about my wish to start therapy again for my trauma-related symptoms. Upon further thought, I realized I need to work on stabilizing first before I start EMDR or whatnot. The behavior specialist is going to write an application. I am also going to work with my assigned staff on my signaling plan, which details how I can best be supported during each phase of emotional (dys)regulation.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share about my dietitian’s appt on Wednesday. It went pretty well. I am currently at a healthy weight and within the weight range I agreed upon with her. She did finally admit she doesn’t know why I’m not gaining weight when I’m having quite a lot of food in excess of my food plan. I honestly currently have far too many other things on my mind to care about this too. I mean, yes, I’m scared, but I’m scared for a lot of other reasons too.

How have you been?

October 2023 Reflections #WBOYC

Hi everyone. It’s the last day of the month and this means I’m reflecting on the past month’s happenings. As usual, I’m joining in with What’s Been On Your Calendar? (#WBOYC).

First, I’m finally going to share the polymer clay unicorn I crafted on September 30. Okay, that’s not technically the past month, but I didn’t fully finish it and take a picture till October 5.

My spouse joked that, judging by its colors – fuchsia, yellow and blue (the blue is called Peppermint, don’t ask me why) -, it’s typical of a specific music scene from the nineties. The staff who helped me craft this unicorn, is only slightly older than me, so she understood.

I haven’t really been crafting with clay much over the month of October. I did though help cook dinner twice. I also made a few smoothies.

I also did a good amount of walking, although I didn’t meet my movement goal every single day this month. I blame the rain, because the one day I didn’t meet the goal, it was raining almost constantly. Besides walking, I went swimming once.

My mother-in-law visited me three times this month and my spouse came by each week. My sister had originally wanted to come by this Sunday, but I prefer not to see her or my parents in the institution. Instead, my spouse and I are going to see them and my parents at Christmas.

Mental health-wise, the month has been quite good, truthfully. I mean, I’m still adjusting to my new care home and it’s October, which is a hard month for me each year. Taking this into consideration, however, I can’t complain. I am intensely grateful for the fact that most staff go out of their way to accommodate me. Initially, I was told by some that I’d be assigned the temp worker almost by default, which set me off because that was exactly what happened at my old care home and, given my attachment issues, I struggle with this. I spiraled into a bad crisis for this reason last week. Thankfully though, the staff now try their best to assign at least a somewhat familiar staff to me if they have to be a temp worker after all.

With respect to my physical health, I am happy to report I didn’t lose any more weight. In fact, I gained a few pounds. It wasn’t like I definitely couldn’t lose any more weight for my health, but I would’ve felt concerned had I lost more weight, given how much I ate over the past month. I am now within the weight range I agreed upon with my dietitian rather than slightly below it, so I’ve decided I can no longer afford as many treats as I used to consume. Yesterday, I convinced my assigned staff to add my food plan to the manila folder of important information that’s on my table in my room. After all, staff would often hand me a cookie (or two) without even thinking about it with each coffee break, despite the fact that my food plan has one only with my evening coffee break. I am due for weigh-in tomorrow morning again. Fingers crossed I won’t have gained significantly.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (September 16, 2023)

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. I just had my afternoon coffee, but will probably not finish this post in one go, as I have an activity moment again in half an hour. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. We’ve had pretty nice late summer weather here with temps rising to between 20°C and 25°C during the day. Next week, we’re supposed to get rain and then I’m pretty sure it’s over with the warm weather, although October can occasionally bring days when the temperature reaches 20°C too. I love telling tales of the day, about five or six years ago, when we had a daytime high of 27°C here in mid-October.

If we were having coffee, then I’d talk about my walking and other exercise. I went swimming on Wednesday. It’ll probably have been the last time for now, as I’m moving to the new care home on Monday, although the swimming instructor did say my new home’s clients go swimming too.

I went on the stationary bike yesterday. Other than that, my physical activity has been hit and miss. Some days, I got in over 10K steps, while on other days, I hardly walked at all.

If we were having coffee, I would however share that, on one of my walks, last Tuesday, I visited the institution petting zoo and took some lovely pictures. The first picture shows the petting zoo’s cat, Macho, on a stack of hay.

There also is a large aviary with parakeets in it. Here are two photos of the birds in their cage.


If we were having coffee, finally I’d tell you all about my visit to my new care home. I went there with a staff and my mother-in-law. Since this staff has been pushing me towards independence more than I can handle lately and since she’ll be doing handover too, I was disappointed that she’d be attending the visit too. After all, that’d mean I wouldn’t be able to talk to my new staff about my needs without her overhearing.

When we got to the home, we were greeted by the man who will be my new assigned staff, same one who’d been talking to my mother-in-law about the color paint on my wall. I had thought he’d be my support coordinator but apparently not. I don’t know who my support coordinator will be yet. Not a problem, since in general you have more day-to-day contact with your assigned staff than your support coordinator. When still outside, I heard a loud singing of “Happy Birthday!”. This turned out to come from the neighboring home though, as no-one had a birthday this day.

We were led into the living room, where a number of residents and another staff were having coffee. I initially thought there were two staff, since one of the residents talked in an almost identical voice and said almost the same things as the staff. This turned out to be echolalia though.

The residents in this home are more significantly intellectually disabled than those at my current home. Most can speak a little though. Like, one told me I had a pretty golden ring. When I told my spouse about this, I was reminded of my preference last year for a home with people with mild intellectual disability. Yeah, I replied, but I didn’t know back then what I had to give up to live with people with whom I can have a conversation.

Overall, the staff seemed much nicer than those at my current care home. For one thing, both staff introduced themselves, while back when I went to look around here last year only the staff who would be giving me the tour told me their name.

I was led to my room, which is the closest to the living room. This has disadvantages, in that I may be able to hear living room sounds more, but it has a huge advantage in that I will be able to find it much more easily than my current room. The wall is a nice baby pink according to my mother-in-law. I wasn’t able to get a real impression of my room without my furniture in it yet, but that’s not a problem.

When shown around, I did make it clear what my needs are re help with my activities of daily living and that I’m not ready to grow yet, since that will take me being stable first. The staff who was with me didn’t comment, thankfully. Overall, I feel less stressed about moving to the new home now that I’ve met my new fellow residents and staff.

I have yet to pack my clothes. Other than that, everything is in boxes now and ready to be moved. I’m ready for a new chapter in my life!

Gratitude List (September 8, 2023) #TToT

Hi everyone. It was a rather eventful week. Time for me to focus on the positives in a gratitude post. I’m joining Ten Things of Thankful, which is back after a hiatus over the summer. Here are my thankfuls.

1. I am grateful I have a moving date! This obviously tops my list. Like I mentioned on Wednesday, I’ll be moving to the new care home on the 18th.

2. I am grateful my mother-in-law is taking time off from her volunteer job to come to the visit to look at my room and have a coffee at the new care home on the 15th. Hers may be a volunteer job, but it’s responsible work, as she works for an animal rescue shelter and they’re required to maintain 24/7 availability.

3. I am grateful for quality time spent chatting and playing dice games with a fellow resident. Today, she won, which was good, as I had spilled the beans about my leaving this home a little earlier than I’d originally planned and she was quite upset. For the record, I didn’t let her win.

4. I am grateful for the nice card this resident gave me, even though I told her I wouldn’t be leaving today.

5. I am grateful for sunny and warm (well, hot) weather. It’s a little too hot for my liking, but I love the fact that I can wear my summer clothes a little longer than usual.

6. I am grateful my Braille display and computer both behave. Both gave me a scare this week. I bought new headphones on Sunday. Not because I needed them but because they’re fluffy and pink. Then when I plugged them into my computer, somehow my PC decided to install TikTok. This was a coincidence, as a 3.5mm audio cable can’t transfer data like that. However, I had no clue so started messing with my computer like crazy, uninstalling everything I didn’t recognize. This thankfully didn’t cause any long-term problems, but for a while I thought my Braille display wasn’t working so I must’ve somehow uninstalled its driver (even though I recognize that manufacturer). In the end, rebooting my Braille display solved the problem.

7. I am grateful for a delicious blueberry smoothie I made on Monday with a temp worker. I used frozen blueberries, yoghurt, vanilla extract, cinnamon and sweetener. It was absolutely amazing!

8. I am grateful for some long walks when it still wasn’t too hot outside.

9. I am grateful for a great essential oil blend in my diffuser. Yesterday, a fellow resident was out of control a lot and it was causing me anxiety. I eventually decided to ask the staff to help me create a blend so that I could calm down. I put patchouli, white fir and lavender essential oils in the diffuser.

10. I am grateful for the will to write. I may not always know what to write about, but at least I want to write. I currently have a seven-day writing streak going (although I still need to write today, which will make it eight days) in Day One, which is rather cool. Sometimes, all I write is a quick gratitude list (which I drew inspiration from for this post) or a “My Day” template post, but that’s okay too.

What are you grateful for?

August 2023 Reflections #WBOYC

Hi everyone. It’s the last day of the month, so it’s time for my monthly reflections. Overall, August was slightly better than July, but it’s still been quite a tough month. Honestly, it’s been quite a tough year so far.

My spouse’s car broke down a few weeks ago, so we weren’t able to see each other each week this past month. Last Sunday, though my spouse did visit me, it was in my mother-in-law’s car. Thankfully, the car has been fixed for now.

My mother-in-law also only visited me once this past month despite there being five Tuesdays in August and her normally visiting me every other Tuesday. On the 1st, she had to work and on the 29th, a new horse was delivered. The story behind her having gotten a new horse is a bit sad, in that one of her horses, Remco, passed away suddenly last month. I mean, he was already crippled, so could only step around a bit, but still his death was unexpected. The new horse is a young mare called Marrit.

Now on to my own life. It’s been boring. I’ve been mostly waiting to find out more about the move. Last Sunday, my support coordinator told me that I’ll move within six weeks, probably sooner. I honestly have mixed feelings about the whole thing. Obviously, I try to remind myself it can’t be worse than here, but what if it isn’t any better either? Will I be expected to magically flourish there just because it’s not this home? I’m hoping, of course, that I will eventually flourish, but this isn’t going to happen magically. Indeed, this requires work, both on my part and on the part of the staff.

I also, like I mentioned yesterday, have had an increase in flashbacks to my childhood trauma. Of course, I could hope this will lessen when (if?) I’m in a calmer environment, but still I’m pretty sure they won’t disappear without support.

In the health department, I’m doing pretty well. I had a meeting with the dietitian yesterday and she asked me not to lose any more weight. I’m not sure how to do this, truthfully, as I’m eating well overall. There’s also this thought at the back of my mind telling me that I could still lose 10kg and be at a healthy BMI. Besides, I still have quite a lot of abdominal fat and watched some YouTube videos a while back that mentioned the dangers of internal obesity. Then again, the dietitian told me there’s very little I can do about this. The YouTube videos tell me otherwise, but then again my healthy voice is telling me (or at least I’m assuming it’s my healthy voice) that following those YouTubers will just lead to extreme restricting, which will probably just cause me to relapse into bulimia. I’m still struggling intensely with all the things diet culture tells me about what to eat and not to eat to preserve my health and, at the same time, my dietitian has one foot right inside diet culture as well. After all, my food plan was a classic weight loss plan up until I reached a healthy BMI. Heck, the very fact that I mention the BMI here shows how much I’m into diet culture. I want to unlearn this, but I’m not sure how.

With respect to other health factors, I’m doing okay. I walk more than I did in July, have been swimming again and went on the stationary bike occasionally. That being said, I do worry about a decline in my mobility. This could be the YouTube videos again, which told me a loss of arm swing could be a sign of overall decline. I have absolutely no idea whether my arm ever swung at all though. That being said, my drop foot seems to be getting worse too.

I did finally get the eczema on my legs treated. I also got a slight infection on the skin of my earlobes, where I had my ears pierced in early July. I’m currently on a course of an antibiotic ointment, so hoping that’ll work.

In the crafty department, I haven’t been very active. I did create a lot of unicorns out of polymer clay, but they were all done using cutters, not sculpted. I intend to paint them and use them as gifts for my fellow residents when leaving this home.

I’m linking up with What’s Been On Your Calendar? (#WBOYC).

Colors, Changes and Connections

Today, I am joining Denyse’s #WWandPics link-up. Denyse apparently has been sharing posts following an alphabetical theme. Today, she talks about the letter C. I could do this alphabet thing too, but then I’d have to start at A. Instead, I’m taking inspiration from her “C” words to write my post.

Denyse’s first “C” word is “change”. Of course, things are changing in my world too, though I’m not yet sure when. I got informed last Saturday that my new care home will keep my current day schedule for now. That’s in spite of the fact that it apparently indeed does cover two hours more care a day than I get funding for. I still don’t fully understand the technicalities, but I don’t really care, as the number of support hours I get according to my day schedule was never the problem. It was how cut up into at most 60-minute activity blocks it is. It’s okay though. Better than the alternative my staff have been suggesting, saying I need to find a way to cut back on those two hours and go down to 30-minute activity blocks.

I asked my support coordinator about having a care plan review. We haven’t had one in nearly two years due to my moving to my current home right when my last review was due. My support coordinator is going to get the new one to schedule a review once I’m settled there and he will attend too.

He also finally sent my mother-in-law an activation code to access the daily reports on me and my care plan. As far as my mother-in-law is concerned, they mostly report really superficially. For those who are wondering, back several years ago it was agreed upon that I wouldn’t get access because it might cause distress, but I did want someone in my family to have access especially now that I’m struggling significantly. Most daily reports apparently go something along the lines of “mostly had a good day, slightly stressed over ___”. I don’t know whether it’s deliberate, but that’s certainly downplaying my distress.

The support coordinator for the new home did ask my current support coordinator to confirm what color paint I want on my wall, despite the fact that I’m pretty sure I already told him through my mother-in-law. It will be pink, since lilac wasn’t available. Truthfully, all other colors except maybe blue sounded awfully ugly to me. And yes, despite being blind, I do have some concept of color from when I could still see a little.

Through all this change, I am happy about my online connections. I have multiple disabilities, so am in Facebook groups for various conditions. I am also in a few Facebook groups for former preemies or NICU babies in general. The Dutch one is organizing a get-together in September. I sent the organizer an E-mail to sign up, then decided to ask some further questions in the Facebook group. As far as I’m aware, the get-together will be held in a café-style meeting room, so I’ll most likely be able to get the ParaTransit taxi driver to get me right to where I need to be. On the one hand, I’m reminding myself that I used to attend the DID charity meetups independently each month from 2011 till 2013 and even rode the train there by myself. On the other hand, it’s 2023, not 2013 and I’ve probably declined cognitively at least a little. Then again, if I don’t try, I’ll never know if I can do this. I would really love to connect to other NICU survivors, as honestly I’m beginning to realize I might not be alone in experiencing significant attachment issues and they might in fact have started this early on.

July 2023 Reflections #WBOYC

Hi everyone. It’s the last day of the month and this means it’s time for my monthly reflections. As usual, I’m joining in with What’s Been on Your Calendar? (or #WBOYC for short).

This month was a toughie once again. All I had to keep me going was an E-mail from the behavior specialist at the end of June saying that they were still investigating a possible new home for me, so I hadn’t been forgotten. This didn’t do much to perk me up, honestly. At the beginning of the second week of the month, my mother-in-law E-mailed her to request extra supports. We had been discussing her asking the behavior specialist to come round to talk to me every once in a while to keep me from spiraling further into crisis before, and in fact my mother-in-law had requested it before, but that message had not been responded to. This time around, it turned out the behavior specialist was on vacation till the end of the month. I’m pretty sure given her work schedule, she should be back tomorrow, but even though our E-mail was sent pretty early in her leave, I’m skeptical that she’ll respond then.

Of course, I did find out on the 23rd that a new home has been found for me. Like I mentioned last week, the way I found out about it was rather weird and I don’t know anything about the home other than what my care agency has on its website about it. A moving date hasn’t been set either as far as I’m aware and I won’t be informed till about two weeks in advance. My assigned staff asked me today whether I keep wondering when I’ll be moving. Yep, of course.

In other news, my support coordinator did leave the agency a few weeks ago. I can’t say I miss her, as I can talk to my new one much more easily. Still, I’m glad I’m leaving this place in the hopefully not too distant future.

I haven’t really been crafting much over this past month. The only thing I finished, in fact, is a bracelet with the glass beads I got from my mother-in-law for my birthday. Today, I did finally get round to claying once again. And got my hands all blue from handling alcohol inks without gloves.

I also didn’t walk as much as I did last month over this past month. I honestly don’t really care though.

Since iOS 16.6 resolved the Braille display bug that caused me to be unable to read books on my iPhone, I have been reading more over the past week. I also finally bought a blender, so yay for smoothies!

Here’s hoping August will be a better month than the past few months have been.

Hello Monday (July 24, 2023)

Hi everyone. I’m joining Hello Monday for a weekend recap. The weekend was a true mixed bag, but those who know how much I’ve been struggling please do read on till the end for some exciting news.

Saturday was a truly crappy day. I got a total stranger as my one-on-one for the morning. This is not unusual, but the crappiness started as soon as I voiced my discomfort with her being a total stranger. Rather than try to comfort me, she was like: “What about if I leave you alone till coffee time?” Coffee time is at 11AM and it was just past 10AM. I said no, because despite what the staff here seem to think my one-on-one isn’t a mere suggestion. Fifteen minutes later, she was like: “I haven’t had breakfast yet. I need to grab some food, see you at coffee time, okay?” I went to the communal room, where my assigned staff happened to be, who set this straight with my would-be one-on-one. After that, we played some card games, had coffee and then she quickly decided to swap places with another staff. He’s not a stranger. Not someone I get along with, but at least I know what to expect of him (which is very little, to be honest).

In the evening, there was a staff shortage until 6PM and of course I was asked to come to the communal room to unburden the staff (his literal words). Then I got a staff I barely knew once again and only could play card games once again.

Sunday was better. I did get an unfamiliar one-on-one in the morning, but at least my spouse came by for a visit. We once again drove to Apeldoorn for lunch at Backwerk and hopped into Holland and Barrett for some essential oils. My spouse got a discount card even though we rarely shop there.

In the evening, my new support coordinator – did I share my old one left the agency a few weeks ago? – was my one-on-one for an hour. We went for a walk and discussed some aspects of my care, both unaware of the E-mail landing in my inbox at 7PM. My mother-in-law had forwarded it to me. It was originally sent to her at 11AM that morning. The subject line read something like: Painting Astrid’s new room.

The E-mail started with something like: “I am [name], support coordinator for Astrid’s new care home, [home].” The person writing the E-mail then went on to tell my mother-in-law that, when moving, a client can have one wall in their room painted in a desired color, and which color would I like?

I had heard my assigned staff mention this home among the possible homes considered for me, but I had absolutely no idea I had been accepted into it. I don’t know anything about the home other than what the care agency’s website says, which isn’t to be trusted due to the fact that they make things look better than they are. However, it isn’t really like I care. Any small improvement over the care I receive here is greatly appreciated.

Today, I confirmed with my support coordinator that I am indeed moving to this home. When the move will be, is not yet known for sure, but I’ll find out about two weeks in advance and be able to take a look around a few days before the actual move.

And for those who are wondering, I chose lilac as the color for my wall.

Gratitude List (July 20, 2023)

Hi everyone. I’m feeling like I have really been neglecting my blog. The truth is I’ve been struggling a lot, more so even than I used to. However, today I’m feeling pretty good so I’m taking the opportunity for a gratitude post. Here goes.

1. I am grateful for a fellow resident’s birthday celebration on Monday. Just after handover at 3PM, we all sat in the living room and sang “Happy Birthday” for him. We had fries and a snack for dinner too. Unfortunately, another resident did have a severe anger outburst right after we did the singing and was disruptive for the rest of the evening even when in his room.

2. I am grateful that, though on Tuesday I got the least familiar to the group staff assigned to me for my one-on-one, she was not the least familiar to me.

3. I am grateful for a comforting visit from my mother-in-law on Tuesday. It was good to be able to vent to her.

4. I am grateful for a delicious caramel ice cream bowl that my mother-in-law treated me to on her visit. Okay, my dress once again had ice cream and caramel sauce all over it, but oh well, it can be washed.

5. I am grateful for a satisfying dietitian’s appt on Wednesday. She was really content with my weight (which remains within the agreed-upon range) and my eating and exercising habits. For those who don’t know, I have a history of disordered eating, bordering on bulimia, so I particularly need to make sure my eating and exercising don’t become compulsive (in addition to not engaging in purging behaviors, of course).

6. I am grateful my assigned staff supported me for part of the morning shift on Wednesday despite there being a temp worker too. Granted, the temp worker is quite familiar with the group, but I’d more or less been told that I’d still be assigned the temp worker by default unless there are literally four regular employees.

7. I am grateful for a great experience swimming yesterday. I went into the pool with just a staff and no other residents. This particular staff has this really cool way of getting my playful inner child out, so we sang songs, jumped up and down and had lots of fun.

8. I am grateful my assigned staff agreed to contact the behavior specialist once she’s back from vacation to set up a meeting to discuss possibly finding me help in overcoming my sense of basic mistrust. It’s been getting progressively worse and is affecting my life here at the care home but also my marriage.

9. I am grateful I was allowed to borrow a fellow resident’s side-by-side bike this afternoon. It was a nice change from walking.

10. I am grateful for my spouse, who sticks by me even though I’m being quite difficult. We’ve had a few arguments and I’ve crossed my spouse’s limits a few times. I now realize this is probably my anxious attachment style getting in the way of our healthy communication. For this reason, I’m all the happier to still be going on together.

What have you been grateful for lately?

Lovin’ Lately (July 14, 2023)

Hi everyone. It’s been forever, probably years, since I shared a compilation of my favorite things. With my birthday just over two weeks ago and all the lovely presents I got, I thought it’s about time. I also discovered some other lovely things. Here goes. I am joining in with Friday Favorites.

1. Lots of polymer clay. Plus some lovely cutters to use with it. I got twelve small, one-ounce blocks of Fimo from my spouse, as well as four two-ounce blocks of Premo and a large block of white Premo. I already opened the Premo in the color 18k gold. Unfortunately, the pieces I created using it, were ruined in the oven.

From my parents, I got a box full of 24 small packets of a budget brand of polymer clay. I also got several cutters. One of them was a unicorn and I’ve really been loving creating pendants using it. Here is the first one, done using the budget brand polymer clay. I was convinced I’d used lilac clay, but it’s clearly blue and that’s not because the clay changed color in the oven. Apparently my staff with whom I did the pendant is slightly color blind.

2. Beads. I got some lovely glass beads from my mother-in-law. Some of them are in the shape of animals, such as butterflies, pigs and ladybugs. My spouse uses the ladybug emoji as a nickname (nick-emoji?) for me, so these are extra fitting.

3. Podcasts. Because as of iOS 16.5, my Braille display freezes when using book apps, including the default iPhone one, I’ve had to find other ways to occupy myself. I started looking at podcasts. A favorite is the Enneagram & Coffee podcast. I especially loved the episode on attachment theory and the Enneagram, which I listened to just a day or two after writing my post on attachment issues last Sunday. I was right to think most Enneagram type Fours lean towards anxious attachment. So do I.

4. My new nightgowns. I bought them at Hema, a department store my spouse and I visit almost each week we’re in Apeldoorn, a few weeks ago. Both of them are so comfy and they look good too.

5. White chocolate peanut rocks. Not sure if these exist in the English-speaking world too, but peanut rocks are basically chunks of chocolate filled with peanuts. They usually come in dark and milk chocolate varieties, but I’d never seen them in white chocolate form. Until last week, that is. Since my favorite type of chocolate is white chocolate (and yes, I know chocoholics say white chocolate isn’t real chocolate), I just had to buy them. And oh boy, are they delish!

What have you been lovin’ lately?