October 2023 Reflections #WBOYC

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s the last day of the month and this means I’m reflecting on the past month’s happenings. As usual, I’m joining in with What’s Been On Your Calendar? (#WBOYC).

First, I’m finally going to share the polymer clay unicorn I crafted on September 30. Okay, that’s not technically the past month, but I didn’t fully finish it and take a picture till October 5.

My spouse joked that, judging by its colors – fuchsia, yellow and blue (the blue is called Peppermint, don’t ask me why) -, it’s typical of a specific music scene from the nineties. The staff who helped me craft this unicorn, is only slightly older than me, so she understood.

I haven’t really been crafting with clay much over the month of October. I did though help cook dinner twice. I also made a few smoothies.

I also did a good amount of walking, although I didn’t meet my movement goal every single day this month. I blame the rain, because the one day I didn’t meet the goal, it was raining almost constantly. Besides walking, I went swimming once.

My mother-in-law visited me three times this month and my spouse came by each week. My sister had originally wanted to come by this Sunday, but I prefer not to see her or my parents in the institution. Instead, my spouse and I are going to see them and my parents at Christmas.

Mental health-wise, the month has been quite good, truthfully. I mean, I’m still adjusting to my new care home and it’s October, which is a hard month for me each year. Taking this into consideration, however, I can’t complain. I am intensely grateful for the fact that most staff go out of their way to accommodate me. Initially, I was told by some that I’d be assigned the temp worker almost by default, which set me off because that was exactly what happened at my old care home and, given my attachment issues, I struggle with this. I spiraled into a bad crisis for this reason last week. Thankfully though, the staff now try their best to assign at least a somewhat familiar staff to me if they have to be a temp worker after all.

With respect to my physical health, I am happy to report I didn’t lose any more weight. In fact, I gained a few pounds. It wasn’t like I definitely couldn’t lose any more weight for my health, but I would’ve felt concerned had I lost more weight, given how much I ate over the past month. I am now within the weight range I agreed upon with my dietitian rather than slightly below it, so I’ve decided I can no longer afford as many treats as I used to consume. Yesterday, I convinced my assigned staff to add my food plan to the manila folder of important information that’s on my table in my room. After all, staff would often hand me a cookie (or two) without even thinking about it with each coffee break, despite the fact that my food plan has one only with my evening coffee break. I am due for weigh-in tomorrow morning again. Fingers crossed I won’t have gained significantly.

Hello Monday (October 30, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Oh my, I’ve once again been neglecting my blog. I honestly wouldn’t know why, since over the past few days I’ve felt pretty good. I guess I’ll blame the time of year or something. Anyway, today I’m sharing an update with you all for Hello Monday.

Saturday was a very busy day. It was mostly in a good way, but it still left me feeling overwhelmed. A staff made pancakes for lunch, which were absolutely delish. In the afternoon, I sat down with one of my staff to discuss some of the important life events I want all of my staff to know about. This was intense, as you can imagine.

In the evening, I helped another staff cook macaroni for all of the residents and staff. We started out by cooking the mince, then adding onions, garlic and peppers. We thankfully didn’t have to chop the other vegetables. I turned out to be right about the amount of macaroni we needed. Thankfully, the staff’s estimate had been higher, so we had leftovers rather than not having enough. Unfortunately, neither I nor the staff thought of freezing the leftovers, so I’m afraid they’ve gone to waste.

I had a difficult night with nightmares and interrupted sleep, but it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been several years ago.

On Sunday, my spouse visited me. We went to Starbucks a second time and, after another caramel frappuccino and a donut for me because the pumpkin spice lattes were sold out, I had to agree that my spouse had been right all along that Starbucks is a waste of our money. I mean, the donut was worse than supermarket ones and truthfully my iced coffee was worse than the one I’d had at McDonald’s several months ago, which had initially made me decide I don’t like iced coffees. However, the problem with that one wasn’t the iced coffee itself but the paper straw. This was an issue now too, of course, but the frappuccino definitely was quite bad.

We also went to Aldi to shop for groceries. I only bought crunchy muesli, since the other things I wanted I’d asked my staff to order from the delivery service.

Sunday evening, of course, it got dark at around 5:30PM already because of the end of daylight saving time. I stayed indoors and watched some TV. We’ll have general elections on November 22, so I watched a humorous political quiz-like program in preparation for it.

Last night, I slept better, thankfully. I went on several walks today. On one of them, I decided to take some fall-themed pictures. The one below was taken a short distance from my care home.

We also visited the petting zoo once again and I took a picture of the guinea pigs.

This evening, I spent my allocated activity time claying with my one-on-one staff for the moment. We both created a flower, though hers looks more like a starfish in shape and due to the colors we used, the center is hardly visible. I usually get some help with my crafting, but this time I loved being able to craft the flower pretty much independently while my staff worked on hers.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (October 25, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s been a while since I last posted. The past week has been hard, but I’m feeling better now. I’m joining in with the Wednesday HodgePodge once again. Here we go.

1. October 25th is International Artists Day…do you have a favorite artist? If so tell us who and why.
No, I don’t. I’m blind so can’t appreciate paintings or other means of visual art. As for sculptures, I haven’t touched enough to know much about them.

2. Would you describe yourself as artistic? Elaborate.
No, not really. I mean, I’m creative with words and I love to craft, but I don’t have the slightest idea of what makes a good piece of art.

3. What’s a skill, task, hobby, or job you’ve done so often you now have it ‘down to a fine art’?
I’m not sure what that expression means, but if it means you can do something very well or it takes little effort, nothing.

4. How often do you dine out? Fast food, fine dining, or somewhere in between? Tell us about a less than stellar restaurant experience you’ve had recently (or not so recently if that’s easier).
I rarely dine out these days, but my spouse and I get lunch out each week. I can’t remember any recent negative restaurant experiences. I mean, having iced coffee and cake at Starbucks about a month ago was a bit disappointing.

One experience I’d like to share though, has nothing to do with the restaurant, but with the person I went eating out with. In late August, my assigned staff for my old home invited me out for lunch to say goodbye because of my move. In advance, she mentioned nothing about who would pay, so I assumed we’d each pay our own food. This, I consider already thoughtful of me, since had she not been staff, I’d assumed that her inviting me and not mentioning costs would mean she’d pay. Recently though, my spouse got the monthly care home bill for additional costs such as laundry etc. And guess what? Judging from the amount, I’ve most likely paid for both of our lunches. I’m not going after it, but next time I’m going to make sure I understand up front what I’m going to pay for something special offered to me.

5. Do you celebrate Halloween? To what extent? Are there trick or treaters where you live?
No, I don’t celebrate Halloween. I do like it though. Maybe next year I’ll get some decorations, but this year I didn’t feel like I have the space for any temporary decorations. As you know, I live in an institution, so no trick-or-treaters here.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I went swimming today. One of the staff stayed half an hour past the end of her shift to be able to support me. And yes, I did ask about having to pay for this myself, since in Raalte a client would have to pay individual support hours for this and the hourly fee is far higher than what a staff earns per hour. The staff told me I won’t need to pay. Swimming was great! There were six of us residents participating. Thankfully, the staff who supported me did ask that the music be turned off. Residents here take turns swimming, so it isn’t like I’ll be able to go each week, but I’ll most likely be able to go swimming another time.

Hometowns

Posted on by Astrid

Today’s topic for Tell Us About… is “hometowns”. I remember having to choose my hometown on Facebook and apparently it’s the city I was born in. That would be Rotterdam. I only lived there for nine years before moving to Apeldoorn for my mother’s work. Honestly, if I had to choose a town I’d consider “home” it’d be that, even though I don’t care for the rather narrow-minded people who live here. I guess the Apeldoorn area is only “home” to me because I’ve lived here the longest and I’d probably have felt much happier had I stayed in Rotterdam for life. No-one can be sure though.

When I lived in Apeldoorn between 1996 and 2007, I lived in two different neighborhoods. The one I lived in with my parents was a kid-friendly neighborhood built in the 1970s. One of my father’s acquaintances called it an unrban planning train wreck, because the streets were so disorganized you’d get lost even when you knew your way around.

The training home neighborhood was built in the late 1990s to early 2000s. My street was called Boomgaard, which translates to “Orchard” in English. Yes, all streets in that neighborhood had weird names like “Silent Garden”, “Banister”, etc. Then again, the street names in my childhood neighborhood in Apeldoorn were almost equally weird.

As a child and teen, I often went shopping in downtown Apeldoorn with my Mom and sister. I can’t say I enjoyed it (except for going to McDonald’s at the end), but it was manageable.

Since my parents also moved out of Apeldoorn, I didn’t revisit the city after moving to Nijmegen in 2007 until I moved back to the area when moving into the institution last year. One thing I noticed, and it’s only recently dawned upon me how bad it is, is how many brick-and-mortar stores have closed. A telling example is my mentioning to my spouse recently that The Body Shop has a store in Apeldoorn that we might be able to check out. To be sure, I did a store search on the website and guess what? It’s gone! I could really have known, since half the store buildings in Orangerie, the main shopping center, are empty. This really saddens me.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (October 18, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s Wednesday once again, so time for the Wednesday HodgePodge. Here goes.

1. What’s something small you tend to sweat even though you know you shouldn’t?
Hmmm, I tend to get nervous and frustrated about a lot of things that are probably minor to others, but to say they’re things I “shouldn’t” sweat, feels a bit invalidating. I mean, I could choose the situation where staff randomly switch up who is going to support me and as a result a staff I didn’t expect shows up in my room. This often feels minor to the staff, but honestly I think they don’t know what it’d be like to depend on an almost countless number of random staff for your everyday needs.

2. October 17th is National Pasta Day…do you like pasta? What’s your favorite? Cooked at home or eaten in your favorite Italian restaurant? How often do you make/eat pasta?
I love pasta. My favorite is either penne pesto or macaroni Bolognese. I know, in the U.S. it’s spaghetti Bolognese but even that isn’t originally Italian, as it’s a combo of Naples’ spaghetti and Bolognese sauce. The way I understand it, in Bologna they eat their recipe only with tagliatelle.

I enjoy my pasta mostly home-cooked. At my old care home, we’d get home-cooked meals on weekends, which was awesome. Here, we get meal delivery service meals each day, but I already agreed with one of the staff that I’ll be helping her cook macaroni Bolognese on the 28th.

3. Do you consider yourself a spontaneous person? Explain.
No, not at all. And usually when I try to do something spontaneously, it means I’ve forgotten something else and I end up majorly messing up.

4. Who are some of your heroes? Tell us why.
Do people who are no longer alive count? In that case, my paternal grandmother, of course. Some of the autistic activist pioneers, like Mel Baggs and Cal Montgomery too. I admire their work in standing up for their and all of our rights to an actually meaningful life.

5. Let’s wrap it up with something light…Taylor Swift…are you a fan? On a scale of 1-10 how much so? (1=who’s Taylor?, 10=a true Swiftie, seen her in concert more than once). If you’re a fan what’s your favorite T. Swift song?
Uhm, 2 I guess. I’ve heard of her. I’m not a fan, but it’s not about her. The thing is, I’m not a pop music fan at all. In fact, I rarely listen to music except for soothing instrumental music when trying to fall asleep. I honestly couldn’t name any of Taylor Swift’s songs if I had to.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I want to give a shout out to the app Be My Eyes and its AI-based image description component Be My AI. Until this was introduced several weeks ago, all we blind people had were Seeing AI, Envision AI and some other apps that did rather generic image descriptions. Be My AI, on the other hand, does a rather detailed description of images. I can’t copy an image description here because for some stupid reason I can’t get it to write its descriptions in English, but let me just say it’s great.

Walking and Making Smoothies

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I have been struggling a bit lately, but today was a good day. I went on three walks, one over an hour and 4.5km long. It rained for most of the day, but I’m not made of sugar, as they say in Dutch. I honestly have no idea where that saying comes from and what sugar has to do with not being water-resistant. I mean, there are many other substances that will melt or otherwise dissolve in water. As a side note, we only had a slight drizzle on some of our walks, so it wasn’t like I got soaked in the rain.

When the rain did come pouring down, I decided to make a smoothie. I had ordered some supplies online yesterday. Like I’ve explained before, my care home does have its own postal code but officially you need to address things to the main building, adding the home in an additional address line. Most stores though don’t allow for two address lines. So, in an attempt to bypass the need to have stuff sent to my in-laws and wait a week for my spouse to bring it here, I decided to say “screw it!” and address my order to the home with its own postal code. And guess what? It got delivered right to our doorstep. This is not how I should be handling things if I can avoid it, but it’s quite tempting, honestly. Waiting a week for my stuff rather than having it delivered within 24 hours of my placing my order, isn’t very appealing.

I had ordered carrot juice, mango nectar, agave syrup and hemp seeds. The hemp seeds are in a lot of smoothie recipes and I’d kind of impulsively ordered them to get to the minimum order amount. The person with whom I unpacked my package, didn’t ask anything about the hemp seeds, but the next staff did make a bit of a weirded out sound. I had looked it up online and found out that usually only the shells (which mine have been removed from) contain trace amounts of THC. Nonetheless, I decided not to add them to my first smoothie, which I was going to share with my fellow residents.

I did add carrot juice. I also added frozen mango chunks, which we’d ordered from the online grocery store that delivers to care homes. We added one banana and a pinch of cinnamon.

Honestly, the smoothie turned out a bit thin for my liking, but it was definitely delicious. My spouse later said that ginger and orange make for a better addition to carrot juice, which I think may be true. I’m going to try this with my remaining carrot juice.

10 on the 10th for October 2023: A Fall-Themed Would You Rather

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today I’m joining Marsha for 10 on the 10th, for which the theme this month is a fall-related would you rather. Here goes.

1. Would you rather soak your feet in pumpkin innards or in creamed corn?
Ew to both. But if I had to choose, creamed corn it would be.

2. Would you rather dance with a scarecrow or play poker with a mummy?
Dance with a scarecrow. I can’t play poker at all and, while I can’t really dance either, that’s not really something I care about.

3. Would you rather eat an apple dipped in caramel or a pumpkin muffin iced with cream cheese frosting?
Apple. I’ve never had a pumpkin muffin and am not sure I like it, but I do love apples and caramel.

4. Would you rather dress as a clown or as a monster for an entire week?
Monster. That’s more my style and I am more of a monster than a clown anyway.

5. Would you rather rake leaves or burn marshmallows?
Neither, truthfully, but if I have to choose, I’ll burn marshmallows, because at least I can enjoy eating them afterwards.

6. Would you rather smell like a bonfire or like a cinnamon stick for an entire month?
Cinnamon stick for sure. I can’t stand the smell of bonfires.

7. Would you rather watch a scary movie or go ghost hunting?
Go ghost hunting. Like I said last week, scary movies give me nightmares. So probably does going ghost hunting, but oh well.

8. Would you rather stay overnight in a haunted house or a cemetery?
A haunted house, I guess. I don’t actually believe in ghosts, so I’d prefer the comfort of an actual bed to sleep in even if interrupted by ghostly sounds over staying in a cemetery all night.

9. Would you rather eat pumpkin pie or apple crisp?
Apple crisp. I’ve only had pumpkin pie once or twice and vaguely remember not liking it. Apple crisp sounds delish to me.

10. Would you rather be in a pie eating contest or a pumpkin carving contest?
Pie eating contest. I mean, both are equally unhealthy for me, in the sense that I’d probably cut myself in the carving contest and overeat to the point of being sick in the pie eating contest. For this reason, I’ll go with what at least gives me some joy and that’s eating pie. Unless it’s pumpkin pie, of course.

In an Ideal World

Posted on by Astrid

In an ideal world…
I’d get all the care I needed,
From all staff I trusted.

I’d be able to engage
In activities I enjoy-
Crafting, baking, walking, swimming.
Without a care in the world.

I’d live closer to my spouse
If not together.

Sigh…
In an ideal world…

This post was written for Sammi’s Weekend Writing Prompt, which this week is “ideal”. I realize that my dreams for an ideal world are a bit childish and rather self-centered. The piece was based on the thing I at one point told staff at my old home: that, in an ideal world, I’d get one-on-one all day long. This isn’t actually true, since I need alone time to read and blog and phone my spouse, for instance. However, I do feel there are ways in which my care could be improved. Some of them might be realistic, while others fall into the category of “in an ideal world”.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (October 4, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s been a few weeks since I participated, so I’m joining in with the Wednesday HodgePodge once again. Here goes.

1. What’s something that scares you?
Too many things to mention, although I’m not one to have many classic phobias. My main one is toxiphobia, a fear of poisons.

2. Do you care where the food you eat comes from? To what degree?
Not really, honestly. Not that I get a say in where my care home food comes from in terms of the supermarket they order from – it’s some type of countrywide supplier specifically for care agencies. However, it’s not like I’d care much even if I did have a say. I do care about having a say in the specific foods I get to eat, which thankfully I have. When it comes to organic or not and the country my food originally comes from, I honestly am too lazy and stingy to care even when I go to the brick-and-mortar supermarket in the next town.

3. What’s something you wish you’d spent more time doing when you were younger?
Be creative. I did love writing as a child and spent a good amount of time on that, but I definitely wish I’d spent more time on other creative outlets.

4. Let’s play autumn this or that….pumpkin spice or apple cider? Corn maze or haunted house? Horror film or Hallmark movie? Blanket or sweatshirt? Watch football or watch the World Series? Foliage-red, yellow or orange?
Pumpkin spice for sure. Corn maze, though I don’t care for it either (but I hate haunted houses). Neither on the movies, but a Hallmark one if I have to choose, since the reason I hate haunted houses is because I startle extremely easily and also I don’t want nightmares. Is the blanket supposed to go onto me in the same way as a sweatshirt? Then I’ll choose a sweatshirt because it’s easier to keep in place while I type. Neither on the sports thing. That is, I’ve never heard of the World Series but assume it’s sports-related too and I never watch sports. All three colors are beautiful.

5. This time last year where were you and what were you doing?
Such an intriguing question especially today. October 4, 2022 was my last full day in the care facility in Raalte. Most of my furniture was being moved to the intensive support home (my now old care home) that day, as Raalte’s transportation person was off on Wednesdays (something thankfully my staff did realize beforehand, unlike with the recent move). Can you imagine I lived in three different care homes over the past year?

6. Insert your own random thought here.
October 4, 2023. I’ve been living in my current care home for just over two weeks and am beginning to consciously or unconsciously erase my connection to the intensive support home. Honestly, I feel awful when a temp worker tells me he knows me from there. That being said, it’s not just because it could hardly get worse than there, that my current home feels like a better fit.