#WeekendCoffeeShare (January 10, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all on this freezing cold January Saturday! I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. It’s past 10:30PM, so no more coffee or any other beverage for me. This evening, I thankfully did have my favorite soft drink, an apple and peach-flavored, slightly carbonated soda called Dubbelfrisss, again. Yesterday the staff offered me the raspberry and cranberry-flavored one, which I don’t like, and I thought the apple and peach one was out of stock at the online grocery store we use. Thankfully not. Oh my, I’ve already started to ramble.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s freakin’ cold! The entire week except for yesterday, it was snowy. Yesterday, we had rain. The daytime high was 4°C yesterday and that was the least cold it’s gotten. Tonight, we’re supposed to get temps as low as -9°C. Next week though is supposed to be rainy with daytime highs of 8°C.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share a few photos I took in my yard on Tuesday. I don’t care for making snowmen, though now I wish I’d taken pictures of the ones my fellow clients had been making. After all, I do like photographing.


If we were having coffee, next I’d tell you that my assigned staff finally plans to discuss a new day schedule with my support coordinator (the one who’s now my support coordinator anyway, as my assigned staff will be taking over from her eventually) next week. I’ll discuss my ideas with her tomorrow.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that, like i mentioned yesterday, I’ve been quite crafty again. This week, I made a necklace, a bracelet and several polymer clay things. I also photographed the unicorn I’d made last week. Did I mention that? I can’t remember. Anyway, I used seed beads for its eyes.

If we were having coffee, I’d also share that the idea of a possible new day schedule has me looking into cooking more again. I really hope that will be part of the schedule too. I’ve been obsessing over buying some new gadgets, such as a food processor.

Today, I planned on making flatbread again. I badly want to make it for all my fellow residents, not just the ones who stay at the home during day activities. Unfortunately, I was too tired and the living room was too overwhelming.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share that I’m sort of frustrated with my blog. I mean, the AI training robots seem to have left the building, but now I’m getting tons of E-mails through the contact form that look to be spam. I’m also struggling to comprehend the numbers of likes and comments on my posts. On some, I get tons of likes and a decent number of comments, but on others, hardly any. I tell myself this is a thing each January as people adjust to the new year and new ways of doing link-ups such as this one.

Trying to Celebrate Small Wins #JusJoJan

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I have been struggling with mixed feelings about my day schedule and the things I accomplish or don’t accomplish during the day. Sometimes, I feel like there’s been quite a lot I’ve done, but on other days, I focus on the hours I’ve spent staring at the wall.

The difference isn’t just dependent on how much I actually did in terms of crafting, cooking, walking, reading, etc. It’s sometimes also a matter of perspective. I mean, I spent most of my allowed activity time slots just chatting with staff today. I could focus on that and on the fact that, with some help, I could’ve turned them so much more productive. Then again, I could also focus on the things I did achieve. Today, for example, I crafted a polymer clay snake.

It frustrates me to no end that my day activity goal is so vague that it’ll be achieved regardless of what I do or don’t accomplish during the day. I had worded the main goal myself, saying I’d like to do at least one meaningful activity each day. To this, however, my then assigned staff added examples, including dice games, and a caveat that if it looks like I’m in distress or tired, the staff can suggest doing smalltalk or extra moments to lie in bed, saying everyone needs rest. By this logic, each day is meaningful even if I’d spent it entirely in bed.

And that’s not entirely untrue. What makes it untrue is the part where staff decide for me which activities give me meaning and when it’s appropriate for me not to engage in them. In other words, it’s worded as an excuse for staff not to help me find and engage in meaningful activities. If I chose to lie in bed all day, like I did last September when sick with probable COVID, it’s quite different from all the times staff have suggested I lie down. If I chose to be lazy, it’d be on me, but if the staff choose to be lazy and twist it to mean they’re meeting my needs, we’re having quite a different situation.

I do try to celebrate the small wins though. Like today’s snake. That doesn’t mean I can’t wish for improvement, particularly because a lot could be improved without me getting more support hours. Would it be harder on the staff? Possibly, but not necessarily. I mean, listening to me moan about my quality of life, is no doubt exhausting to some staff too. And besides, it isn’t my task to make staff’s work day meaningful.

However, it does help me personally to focus on the things I do achieve rather than the things I don’t. I’m genuinely happy about the snake I crafted. Yesterday, I even did two crafty activities and met my movement goal on my Apple Watch by walking. I try to celebrate that. Celebrating my small wins gives me joy.

This post was written in response to today’s prompt for #JusJoJan, which is “celebrate”.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (January 3, 2026)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s nearly 9:30PM as I start typing my #WeekendCoffeeShare post, so no more coffee for me. I just had a cup of orange-flavored green tea. Feel free to grab a cup of your favorite beverage and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s cold, windy and snowy thanks to weather phenomenon Anna in Scandinavia. I can deal with the cold, but the wind and snow are rather annoying.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I haven’t really been moving much lately. I signed up for the free trial of Apple Fitness+ a few weeks ago, but canceled it on Thursday because it kept getting in my way when I tried to change my workout type on my Apple Watch. Not that I’ve done much other than walking, but I did try to dance once and somehow my watch kept messing up.

If we were having coffee, next I’d say that I’ve been struggling quite badly over the past few days. My day schedule is still a never-ending battle, I still haven’t heard from the Center for Consultation and Expertise consultant and on top of that the behavior specialist responsible for my home will be going on maternity leave soon. Yesterday, I also found out that I won’t be getting a new assigned staff now that my assigned staff is going to be my support coordinator. It wouldn’t have been a problem, had she had enough time in her work week to be both support coordinator for ten clients and my assigned staff, but she doesn’t. Staff keep saying I can go to any staff with my concerns, but this is actually not going to work for me with everyone having different opinions and no-one ever taking responsibility for so-called team decisions.

I had a meltdown over this whole thing yesterday. Staff kept arguing with me that I am too needy of my assigned staff and I have the capacity to understand the staffing situation so I don’t need an assigned staff. That last comment was made when I said the other clients often cling to their assigned staff people too. I’m honestly fed up with all the claims that I’m fundamentally different from every other client.

If we were having coffee, I would share that I quit Morning Pages already. I started on January 1, but last night hardly slept at all, so I decided I was lying down after breakfast again. Besides, the app I used won’t let me browse entries with VoiceOver, so I can never read what I wrote. Not that you’re supposed to for a while when you’re truly doing The Artist’s Way, but eventually I wish I could check back.

If we were having coffee, I’d finally share something positive: I’ve been crafting again this past week. On Tuesday, I made yet another polymer clay cheer up frog and, on Thursday, I made a unicorn with seed beads for its eyes. The frog, I once again made in record time: just over twenty minutes. And it’s awesome.

Yesterday, I was talking to my assigned staff / support coordinator about possibly making the unicorns and cheer up frogs to be sold at the care agency gift shop in the next town. The reason I went into it wasn’t altogether positive, namely the fact that another resident now has to pay for support to accompany him to his football and I’m scared that, eventually, the higher-ups will decide polymer clay isn’t “work” so I’ll have to pay for one-on-one support with that too. However, I do like the idea.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (December 27, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all! Can you believe 2025 will be over with in less than a week? I honestly can’t. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. It’s past 8:30PM, so no more coffee for me. My favorite soft drink wasn’t cold, so I had water with my evening medication today. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. We had a frigid Christmas with a daytime high of -1°C. Today, the daytime high is 4°C. That’s still below-average for this time of year though and it’s still freezing at night.

If we were having coffee, next I’d tell you I finally let go of my movement streak on my Apple Watch. That is, like I said before, I was cheating all the while because I’d paused my rings when sick last September. On Christmas day, it was freezing cold, so I didn’t care for a walk. I could’ve cheated again, but didn’t.

If we were having coffee, next I’d share about my Christmas. I was at my and my wife’s house for the night. Christmas is often stressful with family issues and forced cheerfulness, but this year it was genuinely okay. Then again it was just the two of us (plus my wife’s cat, who was in hiding from me almost all the time).

The best part was my Bastogne cookie dessert. It was my idea to make this and I helped crumble the cookies and lended my wife my hand mixer. The recipe though was for eight servings. We made half of that, but of course it’s still a lot for just two people. The rest of the meal was good too.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that I decided to give the staff who’s retiring next week her polymer clay “cheer up frog” on Sunday rather than wait for her last shift. She was very pleased with it.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d share that, yesterday, I decided to download yet another self-care app on my iPhone. I already used to have a ton of them, like I’ve had a ton of different apps for all kinds of things over the years. This one, I downloaded because I read on another blog about affirmations and wanted to do these again. The app this blogger uses, Labyrinthos, isn’t all that accessible with VoiceOver and its paid plan is a little outside of my budget. Besides, much as I love to dabble in tarot (which this app is mainly about), the cards are still mainly visual. This got me looking for other apps for affirmations and gratitude etc. The app I downloaded is simply called Gratitude. So far, I really like it. I’m really hoping to make positivity a bigger part of my life in 2026.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (December 20, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare once again. It’s 7:30PM, so no more coffee for me today. If you’d like to grab a cup of your favorite beverage though, feel free to. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s still been warm for this time of year. Today, the daytime high was 7°C and that’s the lowest daytime temp we’ve had all week but it’s still considered above normal. We had some rain, but not too much and none is in the forecast for the next ten days.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I’m still meeting my movement goal each day, but I’m not nearly as physically active as I was over the summer. Not that I care. My cardio fitness level according to my Apple Watch is back in the below-average rather than low range. I doubt that’s correct. My sleep scores are also amazing most days. That makes me wonder why I wake up tired almost everyday.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I’ve had quite a productive week this past week. On Tuesday, I decided to put up a little Christmas decoration in my room after all. These are all my own polymer clay creations, though only the gingerbread figure is new.

Today, I finally created another cheer up frog. In case you don’t know, when several staff were on sick leave last spring, I created polymer clay frogs to cheer them up, the frog being a pun on the Dutch word for “cheer up” (“opkikker”), which has the word for frog (“kikker”) in it. One of the staff who’d gotten one last spring, asked for another one last September, but then we had an argument causing her to withdraw from my care. This staff is retiring in a few weeks, so when we had talked things over, I told her she’d get her “opkikker” after all.

However, by that time I was out of the right color of green polymer clay. I finally ordered new clay three weeks ago, but it took the store two weeks to get it delivered to me. By this time, I’d just ordered from another store. Now I have three packages of tropical green Fimo. This is alright, since I’ve since promised several more staff an “opkikker”.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I also did quite a bit of cooking and baking over the past week. I cooked another chicken curry last Tuesday and baked a custard cake on Wednesday.

Yesterday, the same staff who went to the market with me last week, worked my afternoon activity. He had said last week that he didn’t particularly like the market, so I hadn’t asked him to go with me again, but he came up with it himself yesterday. This time, I bought olives again, but also peppersweets. I had no idea what these are and they tasted quite different than I’d expected, but they were delicious. I also bought fried chicken and mixed salad greens. Later in the afternoon, I prepared a salad using the olives, peppersweets, salad greens and also some onion and bell pepper I’d grabbed out of the care home fridge. It was absolutely delish.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that, yesterday, I attended the town’s annual Christmas lights walk. Two years ago, the staff were being difficult about me attending because it doesn’t end until 7:45PM and my activity time slot ends at 7:15. I made it very clear that I’m willing to think of ways I can cope without one-on-one, but my day schedule shouldn’t be an excuse not to include me. On Thursday, when the staff asked me whether I wanted to attend, i once again made sure they understood this. It was quite an enjoyable walk, though it’d been more enjoyable in previous years.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d ask for positive thoughts regarding the changes to staffing that will take effect next month. My assigned staff (who is also in training to become a support coordinator), today did reassure me that my day schedule isn’t at risk. I hope she’s right.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (December 6, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Yesterday, I had tons of ideas on my mind on what to blog about but no motivation to actually write. Today, it’s the opposite. I’m joining in with #WeekendCoffeeShare even though I think I don’t have a lot to share today. I, as usual, had my last cup of coffee for the day about half an hour ago and am going to take a break from writing this post to have my soft drink and chips. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. For most of the week, it was chilly but not rainy with daytime temps around 7°C. Today, the daytime high was 10°C but it’s been raining all day.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I was pretty active for most of the week, both by walking and one time by cycling to the next town just to have a purpose for cycling. I didn’t need any groceries and we only ended up having a snack, but at least we weren’t aimlessly cycling around.

Today though, I spent the entire day indoors and still need to dance or whatever to reach my movement goal on my Apple Watch. My streak for whatever reason is still stuck on 33 days even though I’m moving each day and it’s been stuck on 33 days for a month or so.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that I had many plans over the past week but haven’t accomplished a lot. On Monday and Tuesday, I did create some Christmas decorations out of polymer clay. Yesterday, I attempted to bake cookies. They turned out okay but not great and the process was frustrating. Nonetheless, it was better than lying in bed or staring into space, which is what I’ve been doing a lot lately.

If we were having coffee, I’d cheat a little with the coffee share being about the past week, since there was none last week. I’d share about the meeting I had with the behavior specialist early last week. It went well. First of all, like I said, the “one chance” rule about orienting new staff got ditched. My assigned staff, who is in training to become my side of the home’s support coordinator now too, E-mailed me the new orienting plan yesterday and it looks pretty good.

We also discussed my day schedule. In the future, I’ll hopefully get more set activities. In preparation for this, my assigned staff created instruction cards for some of my activities, so that I can hopefully do more activities regardless of which staff is assigned to me. She E-mailed these to me too and I gave some feedback.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share that I’ve been having lots of memories lately. And by “memories” I don’t mean good ones. Yesterday, for example, I remembered the team meeting for my current home I attended in the summer of 2023. One of the staff, when I told them that I can’t prepare my own lunch, replied: “But you lived independently, right?”. I immediately got defensive, because yes, I technically lived independently, but I shouldn’t have. Yesterday when I was talking about this with my wife, whom I’d first met when living on my own in 2007, she told me more about how bad it actually was. Until a few years ago, I believed that, while I couldn’t cope, this was mostly a mental thing. In other words, I was falling apart mentally but could really care for myself if I hadn’t been so scared. Well, no.

It is sad to realize that part of the reason why I need so much care is lack of training in childhood, adolescence and to a lesser degree early adulthood. I’m still struggling with my parents’ reasoning that they couldn’t have taught me because I was too strong-willed and just didn’t want to learn. It may’ve been true that I didn’t understand why I had to learn something that caused me frustration, but then isn’t it the parents’ job to guide the child through their frustration? I’m honestly still struggling with this.

The Wednesday Hodgepodge (December 3, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I badly want to write but feel horribly uninspired. For whatever reason, I feel drawn to blog hops in which I haven’t participated in forever, like the Wednesday Hodgepodge. I haven’t participated in forever because I’m not a Christian and don’t want to elicit judgmental comments from fellow participants. I like the questions though and used to love the community spirit. This is a double-edged sword, unfortunately, in that I feel like I cannot fully be myself in Christian-centric communities. However, I can be myself on here and nobody is required to read or comment on my posts. With no further ado, here are this week’s questions.

1. What does it mean to have the “holiday spirit”? On a scale of 1-10 how is yours this year? (10=off the charts, 1=still looking for it)
I was immediately reminded of Tom Lehrer’s Christmas song when I saw this question.


That being said, I’m also reminded of the holiday spirit as referring to the spirit of community and connection to family and friends. In this respect, my holiday spirit is at a 2 at best. I, after all, hardly have any contact with my family and as of this year we’re not celebrating Christmas at my in-laws’ either. Thankfully, I will be going to our house to celebrate the holidays with my wife. However, since neither of us are religious, I don’t think it matters much that we’re being together specifically for Christmas. At least it’s a way to avoid having to spend time with our parents.

2. What’s your favorite character from a (December) holiday-themed movie, book, or TV special? Tell us why. 
I don’t think I’ve ever watched holiday-themed movies. When I was a kid, my parents used to watch musicals on TV on Boxing Day, like My Fair Lady, The Sound of Music, etc.

The only Christmassy book I remember reading is Murder on Christmas Eve by Ann Sutton. I read it last year, when I was more into the holidays than I am now. It’s a mystery set in 1920s England. Dodo Dorchester, the main character, is quite interesting.

3. Do you like gingerbread? Are gingerbread houses part of your holiday tradition?
I don’t care for gingerbread, but I don’t hate it either. No gingerbread houses here. However, yesterday, I did craft a gingerbread man out of polymer clay.

4. Much of our vocabulary is determined by where we live or where we grew up. What say you- sprinkles or jimmies? lightning bugs or fireflies? soda or pop? sneakers, trainers, or tennis shoes? sub, hoagie, grinder, or hero? freeway, highway, or motorway? frosting or icing? sauce or gravy?
I am a non-native English speaker, so I use the words that I know best: sprinkles; fireflies; soda (or coke); all three for the shoes but mostly sneakers; no idea what the next couple words have to do with each other; highway most of the time; both frosting and icing; sauce for pasta and gravy for meat/potatoes.

5. Share a favorite holiday memory from your childhood.
This is not Christmas-related, but since St. Nicholas is still not over yet (it’s December 5), I’ll share a memory of that. I’ve probably shared it a few times before: the last year that I still believed in St. Nick, my father recorded himself playing St. Nick’s servant Pete claiming to be stuck in the chimney. Not that we even had a chimney at that house, but what did I know? The next year, my father played the recording for me outside of the holiday season to make me stop believing for sure.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
Despite not being in the holiday spirit, I did create a few Christmas decorations out of polymer clay over the past few days. Tomorrow or on Friday, I’m also going to bake St. Nicholas-themed cookies.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (August 9, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. It’s 7:30PM, so I just had my last cup (two cups, in fact) of coffee for the day. I’ll probably take a break from writing this blog post for my soft drink at 8PM. Please join me as we chat.

If we were having coffee, first as usual I’d talk about the weather. It’s truly beautiful! Today, the temperature rose to 25°C and it was quite sunny. Rain isn’t in the forecast until next Thursday I believe. I know, climate change and all, but I’m enjoying the summer while I can.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I am still going strong with my physical activity goals. Yesterday, a staff mentioned the trampoline that’s on the campsite near the institution and we decided to check it out. Today, I went on the side-by-side bike with another staff. Because of this as well as having walked a lot today, I might break my active calories record according to my Apple Watch.

If we were having coffee, next I’d tell you that I unfortunately haven’t been crafting much lately. On Sunday, I created polymer clay earrings that are still waiting to go into the oven. Other than that, no crafty endeavors.

I did, however, create a dessert for myself and my fellow residents on Monday. It was good.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that the rest of the week was quite hard. There’s this temp worker who is absolutely clueless about how to support me and yet he’s assigned to me almost everyday. Staff keep saying I should be giving him feedback more when he’s acting in an unsupportive way. First of all, well, no, that’s not my responsibility. They don’t ask the other clients to give feedback either, but when I point this out, they say it’s different for them because they can’t. I can, sometimes, a little bit and I tried this week in fact, but the temp worker didn’t learn a thing from it. Then I get told that the staff assign to me who they choose and it’s my responsibility to deal with it.

I also was told that, when the staff feel someone is trained well enough to support me, they will be assigned to me and I don’t have a say in it. All this comes across as if it’s me being deliberately difficult with certain staff based on arbitrary things, while in reality it’s the way that they act that makes certain staff more difficult for me to deal with than others. Besides, I’ve had staff assigned to me who themselves don’t even feel they’re capable enough just because these staff want to please and their colleagues pressure them. It may be easiest for staff to assign the most inexperienced temp worker to me because I try to be helpful and, when I am not, it is easy to blame me for allegedly playing favorites.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share that the Center for Consultation and Expertise found a suitable consultant for my case, but due to the summer holidays, the first contact won’t be until the end of August. This will unfortunately be a phone call with the behavior specialist. I’m not very trusting of the whole process at the moment, to be honest.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (August 2, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m once again joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. It’s almost 10:30PM, so no more drinks other than water for me. That green tea I got a month ago has gotten a meaning of its own lately, symbolizing my lack of independence and self-determination. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Grab yourself a favorite drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s been rainy most of the week and honestly less warm than I’d like it to be. I refuse to wear long-sleeved shirts in the middle of summer, but today, I almost regretted going out in just a T-shirt.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that in part due to the weather, I haven’t been as physically active as I’d have liked lately. Today, my spouse and I wanted to go for a walk but it was raining pretty hard so we turned around within five minutes. That was when I was out in just a shirt. I’m hoping I can still meet my movement goal on my Apple Watch today.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I was at our house today. My spouse got a new cat about six weeks ago and I hadn’t met him yet. His name is Caleb. Unfortunately, he hid under our bed as soon as I walked in the door and had to be dragged down by my spouse for me to be able to pet him.

We originally intended to cook dinner together or get pizza delivered, but since the weather didn’t permit us taking a walk and my spouse didn’t want to stay inside the house all day, we decided to drive to Apeldoorn. I needed a new jacket, after all. My old one, I’d bought seven years ago and it’d finally gotten damaged beyond repair in addition to being quite dirty. When my spouse asked me my size, I made a guess. It turned out the old jacket was several sizes bigger. Then again, back in 2018 I was at least 10kg heavier than I am now. I finally got a jacket with a size inbetween my original guess and the old one’s and it fits perfectly.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that, as of yesterday, I’m once again a tiny step down with my medication. Specifically, I’m now on the absolute lowest dose of pregabalin. I was never on a high dose anyway, in fact having been on my start dose for years, but as it is in medicine, apparently going up is easier than going down. Six weeks from now, I’ll most likely be completely off of pregabalin.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share I’m still struggling. Part of it is the realization that my life is far from “normal” and the fact that I feel guilty about not accepting this reality. I constantly have my last home’s staff’s words in my head about never having a perfect day. I am also constantly thinking of ways in which my life could be even a tiny bit more meaningful.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d share that I did have some good moments over the past week. Like I said on Thursday, I have been quite active in the kitchen. I also on Thursday crafted another clay parrot.

The staff who’s leaving, took this one and the one we made last week home with her yesterday.

Tomorrow, one of my assigned staff is going to do my morning activity with me and we agreed to work with clay again. I have yet to think of some ideas for what to make. She wanted an elephant, but I’m not yet sure how to go about doing that.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (July 26, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m once again joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. It’s 9:45PM, so all I’ll have to drink before going to bed is water. I don’t mind though and hope you don’t either. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s been raining all week, but temperature-wise, it’s been nice. We had daytime highs in the low 20s Celsius most days. Today, the temperature rose to 25°C. I hadn’t expected it to rain, so didn’t take a jacket with me when driving to Apeldoorn with my spouse. Thankfully, it only rained when we were in the car or somewhere else inside.

If we were having coffee, next I’d share that my spouse and I may not be divorcing after all. It’s a long story that is too personal to share on a public blog. The short version is that I sent an impulsive text last week asking my spouse to finally make arrangements, because I wanted to live independently. The reason for the text had nothing to do with my spouse, but it did get things set in motion. As it turns out though, it’s probably not practically in our best interest to divorce.

If we were having coffee, I’d go into the reason for said text: one of my “favorites” among the staff is leaving and this is at a time when I’m struggling significantly with most other staff seeming at once not to agree on any way to support me but somehow agreeing that I’m a pain in the neck. At least on a weekly basis, I hear stuff like “You can’t go anywhere anyway” or “Your spouse doesn’t want you in this state” when I’m being restrained or otherwise having my autonomy taken away.

Furthermore, it looks like my staff have decided that neither I myself nor my spouse have my best interest in mind, while in that order, we’re the ones most adamantly advocating for me. However, I saw impulsive comments my spouse made after we found out divorce may not be an option cited in my report. This wouldn’t have been such a big deal, had staff also objectively reported their own comments, like all the “You can’t go anywhere anyway” stuff. The way it sounds now, my spouse sounds like the bad one.

One of my assigned staff even got me to agree on getting more information about guardianship because she somehow feels that a person who doesn’t know me but knows the law is better able to make decisions for me. I have yet to tell my staff no on this one.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I did finally work with polymer clay again. I made a parrot for the staff who’s leaving, because this staff has two parrots. We have plans for making her other one out of polymer clay sometime this coming week.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share that I’ve been obsessing over recipes and cooking again. Like I said yesterday, I made a curry for myself and my fellow residents on Tuesday. The staff who helped me with it, proposed we do cooking again this coming Tuesday. This time, I chose a pasta bake. I’ve also been making smoothies and overnight oats recently.

I have an app on both my PC and iPhone to organize my recipes. It’s called Recipe Keeper and I’m half convinced it’s spyware like TikTok. Other than that, its only drawback is the fact that somehow I can’t have my password manager remember the password. This has me paranoid too. However, it’s the only app that’s available on both iOS and Windows that is remotely useable for me.