#WeekendCoffeeShare (December 13, 2025)

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. I’m starting this post at 5:35PM as my iPhone is upgrading to iOS 26. I’ll probably finish this post after my evening coffee at 7PM. By the look of it, the iPhone update might not even have been completed by then, as my Internet is incredibly slow. Anyway, let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. Early in the week, the daytime highs were like 14°C and we had a little rain. No more rain today or yesterday and the temps have dropped to 10°C. That’s still warm for this time of year.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I’m still going strong meeting my movement goals on my Apple Watch and it’s now finally decided to actually add days to my streak. I broke my streak record a few days ago. The previous record was 309 days and it was set in June of 2023. However, of course I cheated with this one, as I paused my rings while sick last September.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you this week is a mixed bag. Early in the week, I found out that, as of next month, all self-employed temp workers will be let go. That’s understandable, as a self-employed person actually doing the same things as regular employees, is considered tax evasion on the part of the employer (in this case the care agency). The Tax Service had originally planned on handing out fines for this starting this year, but due to the problems in care and other sectors, it postponed this a year. I had known that this was going to happen for years, but due to the care agency’s careless attitude, hadn’t been sure that the care agency was actually going to follow through this time.

On Monday, one of the regular staff here, who is responsible for planning, said it’s indeed true and that this will likely lead to more staffing issues and possible cuts to our care. Other staff have been reassuring that my one-on-one hours have already been approved until late 2026 and I need not worry about cuts to my one-on-one. All this makes me quite worried regardless, as I’m just now learning to actually fill my one-on-one with enjoyable or meaningful activities.

If we were having coffee, then I’d talk about these meaningful activities. On Monday, I finished the Christmas decorations I crafted last week. No photo of the individual pieces, sorry, as my staff hung them on the branch that we use to decorate for the seasons before I remembered to snap a picture. I do, however, have a few pictures of the entire scene.


As a side note, my staff also borrowed some of my clay cutters for creating more decorations. These, I believe she is now finishing and will be putting up soon.

If we were having coffee, next I’d tell you that, yesterday, I visited the next town’s market again. I love going to this market, which is quiet enough that I don’t get overloaded yet there are enough stalls to buy all of the things I’d like to buy. I had fried shrimp at the fish stand. Well, one of two fish stands, actually. It turned out I usually go to the other one and like that one better, but I was with a staff who’d never been to this market. I also bought olives, mixed nuts and candy.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share that I finally got my mother-in-law’s access to my records at the care agency revoked. I had originally asked that she’d be given access because, for some stupid reason, the powers-that-be wouldn’t give me access. Their reasoning was that it’d lead to too much distress, something I now realize isn’t grounds enough for denying a patient access to their own records. However, due to this decision, for many years, nobody had access to my records, so the staff could basically write down whatever they liked. That’s why eventually I asked my mother-in-law be given access. Not that she ever reads my records or that I trust her to respond appropriately if she does. Now nobody has access again, but I’m soon going to persuade the behavior specialist and manager to give me access after all.

Gratitude List (December 29, 2024) #TToT

Hi everyone. I’m doing a gratitude list again. As usual, I’m linking it up with Ten Things of Thankful. Here goes.

1. A nice Christmas-themed walk around institution grounds on Tuesday. We were able to see lights, listen to a barrel organ playing festive jingles and at the end of the walk, we could do some crafty things like decorate a clementine with cloves and create a paper rose.

2. The fact that the labeling tape I ordered online early in the week, actually arrived on time for my visit to my in-laws on Christmas (where I’d had it delivered) and the tape also fit into my home’s label printer. I as a result was finally able to label my new clay.

3. Fries. I always have to include several food-theemd thankfuls, don’t I? On Tuesday, we had French fries.

4. Seeing my spouse and in-laws on Christmas.

5. Making salad on Boxing Day. A student staff’s mother had made homemade Turkish-style meatballs called köfte.

6. Being able to play DJ at the home’s dance party on Friday. Another student staff had brought his large Bluetooth-enabled speaker and I asked him if I’d be allowed to connect it to my iPhone and be the DJ. That was so cool! At first, I played ABBA like I’d requested the staff do the previous time we had a party. Then I put on a random EDM playlist, but that wasn’t well-received, so I switched to my own personal playlist of Dutch and dialect songs.

7. Getting in lots of exercise minutes today. I took three longer walks.

8. The fact that my support coordinator reassured me that, pending my one-on-one renewal request, things will stay the same for now and no hours will be cut. Officially, my one-on-one needs renewing by January 1 and we haven’t heard anything yet. I’m still struggling with my current hours particularly in the evenings, so I really hope that things won’t get worse. We’ll see.

9. Meeting up with my spouse again yesterday. And looking forward to going to our house over New Year’s.

10. The fact that the festive season is almost over. I can’t stand all the chaos.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (November 9, 2024)

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. I apologize for not having commented on anyone else’s posts last week. As I write this, it’s 5:15PM, so I’ve just had dinner. I won’t have my next cup of coffee until 7PM, but at least I’m not writing that it’s too late at night for coffee for me. Let’s have a drink and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s quite chilly, though most days the daytime high is still above normal. Most days, it’s been around 10°C, but yesterday the temperature didn’t climb above 6°C. We haven’t had more than a slight drizzle of rain.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I’ve been doing okay in the health and wellness department. I walked everyday, though not as far as I’d have liked. I also downloaded the FitOn app onto my iPhone and did a workout on it yesterday. My eating has been okay and I lost half a kilogram over the past week. Sleep has been all over the place though.

If we were having coffee, next I’d share that this week has been tough. You might remember that I shared several months ago about the improvements to my care that would take effect in mid-October. Some did happen indeed, while others didn’t and the end result is that my quality of life isn’t improving.

Part of the problem is the fact that half the team rigidly shove the new rules down my throat and the rest do as they please regardless of what my new day schedule says. For example, in my new day schedule, there are now shift codes assigned to times my staff are with me, so that it’s hopefully clearer for everyone who will be supporting me. Some staff have been rigidly following the rules, while others changed things up, sometimes at the last moment. Most staff also don’t tell me who has which shift a day in advance, yet when I am supported by a staff one day who rigidly follows the rules, they’ll tell me that so-and-so will be supporting me half an hour in advance and not care that I didn’t know the day before because their coworker didn’t tell me. And they’re unwilling to change things up because the day schedule says they can’t. This means I’ve had to deal with new-to-me temp workers three times this week and, at least once, I wasn’t told the day before that they’d be supporting me. This led to me having an outburst and telling my staff that I didn’t want the temp worker. I wasn’t demanding someone else, for clarity’s sake, but the temp worker refused to leave me alone too, despite the fact that I’m not under involuntary care.

There were other things discussed at the meeting that these rules were decided at, but I don’t see these being implemented at all. For this reason, my trust in my support coordinator and behavior specialist has suffered again.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d share that I had a phone appt with an independent client supporter on Tuesday. This appt had been on the calendar for months and I originally intended to say it’s all fine here and to close my file at her agency. That’s not how it went: I was honest that, while I do see my staff have good intentions, it’s still proving hard to figure out the care I need and to make it work with the way the home works. She recommended involving the Center for Consultation and Expertise (CCE) again. This is an organization that helps care agencies and clients when they’re stuck.

I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I am hopeful that an external organization can shed new light onto the situation or, if not, I’m able to accept that my home are doing all they can. On the other hand, I feel slightly guilty for not being able to suck it up when things seemed so positive at the meeting. Hope is the dominant feeling though.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (September 21, 2024)

Hi all on this beautiful Saturday in September. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. It’s 7:30PM, so I just had my last cup of coffee for the day. I also had a delicious smoothie I made. I must admit, I normally don’t make the best smoothies, or at least I don’t really like them myself. This one though was absolutely great! I used banana, pineapple, coconut water and a bit of cinnamon. The cinnamon was old, so even though I’m pretty sure I put quite a bit into my smoothie, I only got a slight taste of it. I shared what I had left with my fellow residents, but since this is a virtual get-together, you are invited to grab a virtual cup.

If we were having coffee, first I’d share about the weather. It’s been absolutely gorgeous with daytime temperatures of about 23°C most of the week. It’s also been quite sunny. Mornings are chilly, but then again it’s September, so that makes perfect sense. Tomorrow is supposed to be the last warm day and then next week daytime temps are supposed to drop to as low as 13°C.

If we were having coffee, I’d probably be stating the obvious if I said I’ve been walking a lot. I sometimes feel guilty when this is pretty much all I do during my allocated activity time. Then again, I tell myself the weather isn’t going to be as beautiful as it is now forever.

I also have been taking photos on my walks. That is, I usually hand my phone to my staff, who then will be snapping the pictures. I enjoy it nonetheless. Yesterday, we were able to capture a bunny.

I have also been loving using Be My Eyes and other image description apps. Be My Eyes was even able to correct me and my staff on what type of bird was swimming in the institution pond.

If we were having coffee, I’d talk a little about the new iOS and WatchOS versions that came out on Monday. They’re quite stable and there aren’t many bugs affecting VoiceOver or Braille use. That’s a rarity with the first release of a major software update. I didn’t initially think I’d care for iOS 18, but WatchOS 11 does have some nice features and I’d need iOS 18 for that. I am looking forward to seeing my Vitals trend in a few weeks.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’ve been struggling a little with flashbacks and nightmares. I am, thankfully, for the most part still able to cope.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that on Wednesday, I celebrated one year in my current care home. I treated the entire home to burgers again, like on my birthday, but this time the salad I made as a side dish was the highlight for me.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d tell you that on Thursday, it was my and my spouse’s thirteenth wedding anniversary. We drove to Nijmegen to have lunch at what I consider to be my favorite restaurant, Dromaai. Not that the food is exceptionally good, but I have fond memories of eating out here with my partner when I still lived in Nijmegen.

Phones #SoCS

Today’s prompt for #SoCS is “phone”.

I’ve had an iPhone for just over seven years now. Before that, I had a sturdy regular cellphone. I once had the earliest model of a smartphone-like thing, a Nokia 6230i, but I could still only use it to make calls. I got it with my then new phone plan because I wanted to make use of a scheme by which cellphone calls would be charged landline fees. Remember, it was 2007, so cellphone rates were still very high and I didn’t have a landline. That is, I wanted to get one while living independently in Nijmegen but had just got it installed when I landed in crisis. I in fact had my home phone that I intended to use in my apartment with me when I was hospitalized.

The reason I could only make calls with a phone that was almost a smartphone, is the fact that it didn’t have MobileSpeak, the earliest excuse for a phone screen reader, on it and it couldn’t get it installed even if I wanted to. I’m surprised at how things have changed. Then again, I really shouldn’t be surprised. Life progresses, after all.

My current iPhone, I use for all kinds of things, almost like a handheld computer. That is, not actually almost, really, since I don’t even take my iPhone with me when I leave my room. I really want to do that more, so that I can take pictures when I notice something interesting. Like the rainbow my staff saw a few days ago. I really wish I’d had my phone with me then.

Friday Feels (September 13, 2024)

Hi everyone. Today I’m participating in Friday Feels. The idea is to answer three questions about the past week and share an F word related to it. The questions are:


  1. What made me happy?
  2. What made me sad?
  3. What made a difference?

F word

My F word for this week is “fall”. Last Saturday, it looked like summer wasn’t going to end anytime soon, since the daytime temperature reached 27°C. From this past Monday on though, the weather’s been considerably chillier and rainier. On Wednesday, the temperature didn’t even get above 14°C. Today is slightly less chilly, but the nights are truly getting colder.

What made me happy?

First, Chinese takeout for dinner on Monday to celebrate a fellow client’s birthday.

Second, a treat of one of my favorite biscuits with my afternoon coffee today.

Third, the fact that I was able to get the WiFi on my iPhone to work properly again here. It turned out that turning off a privacy setting on my phone for this particular network, solved the issue.

Last but certainly not least, swimming! On Wednesday, I heard that two of my fellow residents were going swimming at the institution pool that evening. Usually, about seven or eight residents go and it’s too overwhelming for me, but since there was another activity too, just these two guys were going. I took up the courage to ask my staff whether I could go too. It was amazing!

What made me sad?

I experienced a slight increase in bad memories over the past week. Mostly, they were manageable, which is why I’m not using the word “flashback” to describe them.

What made a difference?

There are several things that made a difference this week. First, the fact that one of my trusted staff returned from vacation this week. Most are still on holiday, so the next few weeks will be somewhat difficult still, but I managed this week.

Second, the weather, like I said, is very different and it made a difference, in that I could sleep under my weighted blanket without sweating excessively. This is important, because until now I thought something might be wrong with me. I guess not.

Third, the new agreement that staff will no longer unlock the door for me when I want to elope and will physically restrain me if necessary to keep me from for instance climbing over the fence. I saw the agreement on Tuesday and, though I still have some questions about it, I am for the most part relieved about it.

My Current Night-Time Routine

Hi everyone. I totally forgot about Writer’s Workshop this week, even though there are several prompts that appeal to me. I might just write another post tomorrow about another prompt, but tonight, I’m talking about my bedtime routine. Oh wait, I wrote a post about that already in 2022. Reading it makes me miss Raalte so much… even my night-time routine was better. Oh well, here’s my current night-time routine.

My night-time routine starts at 8PM with my getting into my nightwear. Even though this is early, I’m the last of my care home to get dressed into my nightwear. I also get my last round of meds at 8PM, which thankfully doesn’t include sleeping pills. The one time I took a sleeping pill while here, I had to take it at 9PM, which is still very early for me.

At 8:45PM, I usually get a small snack or a bit of fruit, because like I said I go to bed late and I’d feel hungry if my last food of the day (except for a biscuit at evening coffee time) was dinner at 5PM. Then at 9:30PM I brush my teeth, my staff lock my door that leads to the backyard and turn off my lights. Since I’m blind, I can function without light and, if the staff don’t turn off the light for me, I might forget or be bothered by the light if it’s set really bright, and I don’t know how the switch works.

Once I’m ready for bed, I turn off my computer and check the battery status of my iPhone. I sometimes forget to charge my Apple Watch before bedtime and then I put it on the charger for a few minutes to at least get a bit of power to last it through the night. Depending on the battery status of my iPhone and my mood, I might turn on relaxing music either for an hour or throughout the night.

I take off my slippers and usually my socks (except in the freezing depth of winter, then I leave my socks on). I have a weighted blanket that I lie under year-round. And no, it isn’t exceptionally hot in summer. I also fetch two specific stuffed animals: the lemur will have its tail across my stomach and the dolphin I will hold in my arms. I have about five more soft toys in my bed, but these usually just lie around my pillow.

I can sleep in all kinds of positions depending on my mood, the temperature in my room, etc. I usually have the headboard of my bed turned up pretty high. When I can’t sleep, I also turn the other end up. Yes, I know, it sounds weird. I am so grateful for my adjustable bed though. It isn’t a given, since just after I’d gotten this one in like 2021, the higher-ups in my care agency decided that people who weren’t severely physically disabled, didn’t qualify for adjustable beds. They didn’t take away mine though, thank goodness.

Sunny Sunday (December 17, 2023): A Good Day!

Hi everyone. Today I was writing another post, which I’ve since scheduled for tomorrow, but instead of sharing that decided to join in on Sunny Sunday. Today was a good day. Let me share what made today good.

First off, the weather. As I opened my phone this morning, I saw a weather report, which I didn’t read, but the headline said it was “ideal walking weather”. It was a little cold in the morning, but that’s only to be expected in December (I guess there’s a reason I was born in the summer, ha). However, later in the day, the sun peeked through the clouds and the daytime temperature rose to 10°C.

I decided to follow the headline’s advice and go for an hour-long walk. In the morning, I was supported by the most familiar to me staff member, which was awesome. I am so grateful she supported me rather than leaving me to be supported by the temp worker or very young and inexperienced new male staff.

In the afternoon, my spouse came by for a visit. I said that I was thinking of buying another case for my phone, since the one I’d gotten was too rigid. I am grateful to share my spouse showed me how to properly fold the back of the case.

In the evening, I had lots of fun crafting with clay. I created a butterfly pendant.

Overall, today was a pretty joy-filled day. It was also a productive day. After all, I had a shower in the morning and washed my hair, rearranged my Day One journals’ content, and have been spending the evening online reading and writing blog posts.

I of course could think of reasons why today wasn’t perfect, but no-one needs a perfect day. All we need is a little joy and sunshine in our life.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (December 16, 2023)

Hi everyone. It’s been a while since I last joined in with Natalie’s #WeekendCoffeeShare, so here goes. I already had my last coffee for the day and had my weekend soft drink (yay, we still got Dubbelfrisss!) too. I bet you could still get a cup of tea though. That is, I’ve had some later in the evening here. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I bought a new iPhone last week. I bought the SE 3rd gen. I had originally intended on buying the 15, but that costs like €1000 and I would probably get annoyed with the lack of touchID and a home button. Besides, it’d be a greater risk of being stolen. Still, to be honest, I am slightly disappointed with the battery life of the one I got and had wanted the 15 for its great camera features. Of course, I myself can’t take good pictures at all, but I would’ve loved to have a device that can make them. All that being said, I’m pretty sure the pros of the one I got outweigh the cons.

My spouse bought me a lilac case for it. It’s a little on the thick and rigid side, honestly, so I might want to replace it eventually. I still have my old phone’s case, which the new one fits into too, but I don’t feel like I could in my right mind switch them up. That would be unfair to my spouse.

If we were having coffee, I’d ttell you that I joined the Christmas lights tour in my town yesterday. Originally, the staff hadn’t thought of inviting me and, since it wouldn’t end till 8PM and my one-on-one leaves at 7:30, they were saying I could walk an alternative route with my one-on-one. I was disappointed and tried to say I could walk independently alongside the others just fine and didn’t need my one-on-one. The way I had imagined it the staff would be pushing a wheelchair that I’d hold onto too. As it turned out, the wheelchair users were pushed by volunteers and one staff would need to watch the entire group of ambulatory clients, including me, if I didn’t get my one-on-one. Thankfully though, my assigned staff, who did my one-on-one till 7:30, offered to stay half an hour longer to be able to allow me to participate too. Normally, I’d have to pay like €30 for those 30 minutes of extra one-on-one – not that staff actually earn €60/hour, so don’t ask me why -, but he said he’d find another way.

Along the tour, there were various points where people had decorated their houses or front yards with Christmas lights and some had left Christmas lights along the pavement. We also came by my former support coordinator’s house. You know, the one from the intensive support home, the woman one who was my original support coordinator there. She no longer works for my care agency. Anyway, we were actually instructed to come into her garden, where she was toasting marshmallows and handing out hot cocoa. I initially didn’t recognize her even though I knew she lives in this town and the instructions mentioned her first name. She said, “think [intensive support home],” and then I realized who she was. She asked me how I was doing at my current home (she knew where I’d moved). I said very cheerily that I was doing well and liked it here. I also told her that I found out about the move through my current assigned staff E-mailing my mother-in-law wanting to know my preference for the paint on my wall. “Oh, that wasn’t fun,” she said. “In fact, that was fun,” I replied.

At the end of the tour, we got fries. That was so cool!

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d report that I finally disclosed about my possible dissociative symptoms to one of my staff yesterday. She said she’d seen some of my alters, contrary to what my assigned staff says. Maybe what he’s looking for is me calling myself by different names, which I don’t do unless I really trust someone. I’m trying to maintain the status quo as to whether I/we actually have DID or not, in the sense that it’d be much easier for treatment purposes if we didn’t but then again the parts, whatever you’d call them, are there whether I want it or not.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (December 13, 2023)

Hi everyone. It’s Wednesday, so time for the Wednesday HodgePodge. I’m so happy Joyce, being a Christian, did her best to be inclusive by not mentioning “Christmas” specifically where it wasn’t necessary and instead writing “the holidays”. Thanks for being mindful of those subscribing to other faiths or spiritual paths or none at all! Here goes.

1. Oxford’s Word of the Year for 2023 is “rizz”. Hmmm…before today had you ever heard the word? Do you know what it means? (Apparently it’s short for charisma) Have you ever used the word? If you were in charge of the world, what word would you declare word of the year for 2023?
Never heard of it nor used it. No, I had no idea what it means. If I were in charge of the world, wouldn’t I have better things to do than decide on a word for 2023? I have no idea what word I’d declare a universal word of the year.

2. What’s one word you tend to abbreviate in your writing or speech? (as in rizz for charisma)
I can’t think of any off the top of my head. I remember in high school we abbreviated a lot. “Philo” for philosophy class, for example. My spouse said it’s a grammar school thing. I remember the Center for Consultation and Expertise consultant writing a report on me in 2018 abbreviating the Dutch word for grammar school, which is “Gymnasium” (and no, it has nothing to do with sports) to “Gym” too. This may not sound as unusual to American readers, who abbreviate their version of gymnasium all the time, but it’s a real grammar school thing to say “I went to Gym” to say your secondary school was a grammar school.

3. Are you a Hallmark movie watcher this time of year? What’s your favorite character from a holiday-themed movie, book, or TV special?
I answered this question last year too I think, to the effect that I’ve never seen any Hallmark movies. Nor have I read many Christmassy or winter-themed books. I’d say my favorite characters are Aisha and Emily from the chapter book Snowstar and the Big Freeze by Daisy Meadows (and all of that series).

4. Something you look forward to eating this month?
Cinnamon stars, of course! I always talk about those. They are a type of holiday-themed cookie by a Dutch brand called Bolletje. They come in chocolate tree and coconut bell (or vice versa) varieties too. Two years ago, I got four packages of cinnamon stars from my day activities staff in Raalte and had to share the last package before it expired in late February.

5. What’s the most stressful part of the holiday season for you?
This year, visiting my parents on the 25th. It’ll be the first time in five years that we’ll be visiting them and the first time in as many years that we’ll be together as a family (including my sister). Of course, my brother-in-law and two nieces will come too.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I updated to iOS 17.2 last Monday, which introduces the Journal app to the iPhone. So far, the only thing I sort of like is the Suggestions thing, which Day One, my usual journal app, has made use of too, since it’s an API. I still think it needs improving on though.