What’s Up (June 2020)

Posted on by Astrid

Wow, can you believe it’s already the last Wednesday of the month? I truly can’t. Time flies! Today I’m joining in with What’s Up Wednesday.

What We’re Eating This Week

Well, like I said last month, I live in a care facility with food delivery, so I don’t get to meal plan. We’ve been having an insane amount of baked potatoes lately though.

What I’m Reminiscing About

Not really anything. I mean, occasionally memories pop up, but they’re usually neither pleasant nor significant to share about here.

What I’m Loving

Sunshine! The weather is truly beautiful out here. Tomorrow and Friday the temperature is supposed to rise to 30°C (86°F). That’s a bit hot for my liking, but oh well.

What We’ve Been Up To

Lots of walking! I loved taking several long’ish walks a day with my staff. Today it was a bit hot, but we managed two shorter walks anyway.

What I’m Dreading

My parents possibly being judgmental about my living situation. They will visit me for my birthday on Friday. As much as I try not to stigmatize my intellectually disabled fellow clients, I still fear they’ll feel shame.

What I’m Working On

I started working in the book DIY MFA yesterday and immediately was inspired to write a piece of short fiction. It’s not remotely good enough to go on the blog and it doesn’t have an actual ending yet, but I liked the writing process.

What I’m Excited About

My birthday! Tomorrow, the festivities will start with my mother-in-law visiting. On Friday, my parents will visit. That’s a little scary, but it’ll likely be okay. Then on Saturday, which is my actual birthday, my husband will be visiting. I invited him to get pizza delivered.

What I’m Watching/Reading

I’ve been watching Diagnosis on Netflix and reading the book by that same title, written by Lisa Sanders. I also finally started reading The Falling in Love Montage by Ciara Smyth. I’ve been excited about it ever since I first heard about it in like January. It was released earlier this month.

What I’m Listening To

I’m frequently listening to the Harp Music for Sleeping playlist on Spotify. It’s very relaxing. This afternoon, in fact, I fell into a deep sleep listening to it.

I’ve also been discovering podcasts. Early this month, I mostly listened to true crime podcasts. Now I’m occasionally listening to progressive Christian podcasts.

What I’m Wearing

A skirt and a black T-shirt. I have three skirts that are the exact same model yet a different color. As I am blind and haven’t labeled my clothes, I don’t know whether this is the blue, green or red one.

What I’m Doing This Weekend

Having pizza with my husband on Saturday, like I said. I’ll probably have a lie-in on Sunday.

What I’m Looking Forward To Next Month

Probably visiting my husband for a weekend again. Like I mentioned a few times, the visiting rules at my care facility will be relaxed come this Friday. This means I’ll be allowed to go home to my husband for a weekend again. I don’t want to right away, but I’m hopeful in July I’ll be able to go a few times.

What Else Is New

My husband has two weeks off work this week and the next. He’s getting workmen over to replace the outer doors and some other big things that need doing.

What’s up with you?

Decisions

Posted on by Astrid

This week, V.J.’s weekly challenge is all about decisions. V.J. is facing a decision regarding an opportunity to buy a house.

My husband and I faced a similar decision last summer. I had been approved for long-term care funding on June 4. This would mean higher costs for my care, as the copay for long-term care is several hundreds of euros a month, while the copay for community care is at most €19. This made our search for a house to buy more urgent. After all, mortgages are usually cheaper than is rent on a similarly-priced house. We had inquired about buying the house we were renting at the time, but the housing corporation had refused.

My husband did most of the visits to possible houses by himself, including the one to the house we ended up buying. This house was about the only house within our budget that wasn’t falling apart or being rented out for an undefined time. The latter of which is illegal, but that didn’t help us.

So my husband ended up choosing our house in Lobith. I was hardly involved with the paperwork, except where I had to be because we’re married. I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to live in this house for long anyway.

Similarly, my husband left all decision-making regarding the care facility I was going into up to me. Of course, this is in a way different, in that I’m a legal owner of our house and he’s not legally anything regarding the care facility.

I ended up moving to the care facility in Raalte just two days before we were to sign the contract on our house.

It’s indeed somewhat interesting that my husband and I leave each other so much room for decision-making regarding our own lives. Other married couples probably do much more shared decision-making. I don’t know whether it’s a good thing or not the way we do it. People have encouraged me to get more involved with the financial and legal aspects of the house. I’ve also been told my husband could (should?) be more involved with my care. But as long as we’re both competent adults, it works okay.

I’ve been thinking of making my mother-in-law my official decision-maker should that ever change in my case. I know my nearest relative would be my husband, but I want in any case to prevent my parents or sister from becoming my guardians. After all, I’m not too sure they truly would have my best interest in mind, though obviously they’d think they do.

Gratitude List (June 20, 2020) #TToT

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone! How are you all doing? I’m a bit tired, but not ready to go to bed yet. Instead, I’m going to write a gratitude list again. As always, I’m joining in with Ten Things of Thankful (#TToT). Here goes.

1. Sunshine. The weather was really good over the past week. We had some light rain some days, but most days were sunny and warm.

2. An anti-allergy medication. I have bad eczema that itched like hell for some weeks. I finally went to the doctor on Wednesday and got an antihistamine called desloratadine. It didn’t help at all the first few days, or maybe without the medication the itch would’ve been even worse. In any case, now it does seem to help.

3. An antibiotic ointment. One spot, which the doctor initially thought was the result of an insect sting, got inflamed. Thankfully, with some Fucidin applied topically, the inflammation is a lot less now.

4. The night staff. A few nights ago, the itch was so bad and the inflamed spot so painful that I got really scared. I called for the night staff to apply some oily cream to the eczema. She did this, but I remained very scared. Somehow, I had gotten it in my head that I’d get sepsis from this. I pressed the call button again at around 2:30AM. The night staff was so kind and reassuring.

5. Alternatives to bread. I don’t really care for bread for lunch, at least not when topped with the ordinary kind of things you normally put on bread, such as cheese, peanut butter, etc. Thankfully, we had some lettuce left over from making burritos last week, so I had a salad for lunch one day. Another day, I had noodles.

6. Pancakes. Today, two staff came to our home on a voluntary basis just to bake us pancakes. They were so delicious!

7. Reaching my step goal. I reached over 12K steps (my goal being 10K) on three days this week. Today, I didn’t do so well, so I will still need to get some 5K steps tomorrow to break my weekly record of just under 65K steps.

8. The visiting rules at my care facility likely being relaxed as of next week Friday. The announcement will go onto the facility’s COVID-19 page on Monday.

9. My parents offering to visit me. I called my Mom last Sunday and, as we were discussing the visiting rules, my father asked if they could come too. I initially was a bit hesitant and I’m very nervous, but also excited. They will be visiting me next Friday.

Oh, and now I can’t think of a number 10, but whatever. I’m grateful for being able to express my gratitude. Consider that my tenth thankful. Besides, the number is just a suggestion.

What are you grateful for?

It’s Been Three Months

Posted on by Astrid

Today, it’s been three months since the day center closed due to the COVID-19 lockdown. A few days earlier, we’d already been advised not to get visitors at the care facility, but the no-visiting rule didn’t take effect till March 25. Over at Mama’s Losin’ It, Kat asks us in one of her writing prompts this week how we’re doing three months into lockdown.

Of course, the restrictions are slowly being lifted. As of May 21, we’re allowed two visitors, ideally from the same household. They still need to maintain distancing, can’t have physical contact with us and can’t enter the care homes.

I found out yesterday that more restrictions may be lifted as of June 26. I already arranged for my parents to come visit me on the 26th, as my staff said this was okay even though my mother-in-law will be visiting me on the 25th and my husband on the 27th. I guess they’re being less strict as it’s my birthday on the 27th.

The new rules, if they take effect on the 26th, would allow limited outside activities, such as visits with family. Then again, a lot is still uncertain and is left up to the specific homes’ staff and management. Regardless, the day center won’t fully reopen till October.

I’m doing pretty well amidst the lessening restrictions. I mean, I’m really excited but also a bit anxious about possibly being allowed to go home to Lobith again. It’d be cool if I could have a real birthday celebration even if it isn’t right on the 27th.

With respecct to the day center, I’m happy it won’t reopen fully till October. I feel a lot more comfortable getting day activities in my own home, where I can retreat into my room. I also think I get more support now. I really hope a way will be found for me to retain a similar level of support once we return to the day center.

It’s interesting that, with quarantine having lasted for three months and still a lot of restrictions remaining, I hardly ever think of COVID-19 or the lockdown. Last week, another writing prompt I came across was about quarantine and I couldn’t think of what to write for it. Several people I know were tested for coronavirus recently, but I readily assumed they would be negative (and they were).

Other than that, we don’t shake hands and keep our distance whenever possible. That will likely continue for a long time still. generally though, I’m going with the flow, as they say.

Of course, I’m happy I can see my husband and family again. I’m also still very happy that this thing didn’t happen last year, because then I’d have to stay at home alone for so many months. Remember, the day center won’t reopen till October. Now this feels comforting. Last year, this definitely wouldn’t have been the case.

Mama’s Losin’ It

A Book I Remember From My Childhood

Posted on by Astrid

Yesterday’s prompt in Sandman’s 30-day book challenge is a book you remember from your childhood. I didn’t really like reading as a child, but I liked listening to audiobooks. Most came from the library for the bblind, but a few didn’t.

Particularly, I remember my grandpa had read one of my father’s cousins a book on cassette tape sometime when my father was still young in the 1950s or 1960s. My grandfather passed it on to me as a child. It was called De kinderkaravaan and was written by An Rutgers Van der Loeff, published in 1949.

This book describes the journey of the Sager children on the Oregon trail in 1844. In the story, the oldest boy, John Sager, leads his younger siblings from fort Hall to the Marcus Whitman family in Oregon after the rest of his trail decide to go to California. The story begins at Fort Laramie in present-day Wyoming, with the trail still intact and the Sager parents still alive. The Sager mother is pregnant with her seventh child at the time, who is born on the trail. By the time the trail reaches Fort Hall though, both parents have died and the children are supposedly getting to live with different families on the trail. John convinces the other men to let the children stay together except for the baby. He gets the baby from her caregiver when the trail is about to go to California, because he feels his parents would’ve wished them to travel to Oregon. As such, John and his younger brother Francis lead the children on a walking trail to Oregon.

Supposedly, the story is based on real events. Rutgers Van der Loeff claimed to have gotten a newspaper article from an acquaintance alerting her to the family’s adventure. Indeed, the Sager family did exist and John and his siblings did lose their parents. I only found out about a year ago that Rutgers Van der Loeff had many names and ages of the Sager children wrong. The Sager children also never traveled alone and the newspaper article claiming they did, was fabricated. The mix-up of the names and ages more annoyed me than the fact that the children’s adventure wasn’t as heroic as the author makes it look.

Maybe a year after my grandfather gifted me the cassette tapes with this book on them, my mother recorded another book by the same author for me. It is called Het licht in je ogen (which translates to The Light in Your Eyes) and is about a boy going blind from cornea damage. I loved that book too.

What book do you remember from your childhood?

Gratitude List (May 30, 2020) #TToT

Posted on by Astrid

Okay guys, I’m still feeling meh. I don’t know why, but it doesn’t really matter. I’m not inspired to write much of anything either, so what better thing to do than to write a gratitude list? I don’t promise I’ll be able to mention many things, but I’ll try my best.

1. Ice cream. Last week Thursday, another home that’s part of the care facility called for an ice cream truck to come by the facility. The ice cream truck owners had owned some type of merry-go-round or another fairground attraction before COVID-19 hit. Then they transferred to the ice cream business as away of making money. They advertise themselves on Facebook for being on-call if you have enough customers in a street. I love this idea and obviously the care facility has some 70+ clients plus staff as potential customers.

What’s extra cool is that the other home called the truck people again on Tuesday. Now if I don’t have an ice cream tummy, I don’t know.

2. Reaching my step goal. I reached 10K steps three days this past week and so far got over 55K steps this week. Tomorrow I’ll probably have a lie-in.

3. An extra staff. Due to day activities now being provided at the home, the home staff were able to cut their hours a bit, because there was a lot of overlap with the day activities staff. As a result, they’re now able to have an extra staff for a few hours on Saturday. This morning, the extra staff took me for a 25-minute walk.

4. Bathing. This is one from last week, but on Sunday I took a bath. It was good and very relaxing.

5. Gutenberg. You know, the project that aims to digitalize no-longer-copyrighted materials and make them available to the public. I discovered yesterday that my reader app, Voice Dream Reader, connects to it too. I was able to download Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery off there. I think I prefer reading eBooks to audiobooks anyway.

6. Buying a new iPhone. I have been wanting to buy the new iPhone SE 2020 forever. That is, I’ve been looking at the possibility of it being released for at least half a year before it was released. My current iPhone, the old SE model, still works, but its battery is empty really quickly. Today I ordered the new one.

Originally, I had wanted my husband to install it. Then when I was skyping with my sister and mother, my brother-in-law chimed in and said it’s really easy to migrate from one iPhone to another. Now I may want to install the phone myself as soon as I get it and there’s someone sighted to oversee it.

7. Hearing my niece on Skype. Like I said above, this afternoon I Skyped with my mother and sister. It was fun. I hadn’t even had Skype on my computer till then, but I like it. I heard my niece on the other end of the screen. She did get a little whiny eventually, probably because she was hungry.

8. Seeing my husband! I saved this one for last, as it’s the best. Last week, the no-visitors policy was lifted at my care facility, so I was able to see my husband. He visited me again today. Like I said before, we can’t really be physically close, but it’s okay. I love you, hubby!

That’s it for now. As always, I’m joining in with Ten Things of Thankful (#TToT).

What have you been grateful for lately?

Expressing Faith By Expressing Anger

Posted on by Astrid

Last week, for some reason, I felt called to listen to a church service. When I do, I usually listen to United Church of Christ services, though occasionally I check out Protestant Church in the Netherlands services locally too. The service I ended up listening to was delivered at Mayflower Congregational UCC in the Oklahoma City area. It was titled “disorientation”.

The topic was how many Christians think they’re not healthy or whole enough to attend church. Many Christians are taught to believe that we shouldn’t show our distress or be angry with God. Though I grew up in an atheist home, I too was taught not to complain or be angry. “Gets angry easily” was often written about me in psychological reports. This may have been so, but anger in itself isn’t bad.

Rev. Lori Walke, in her sermon from May 10, talks about the psalms, nearly half of which are psalms of lament. In one of the psalms she discusses, psalm 13, David cries out to God in anguish:
“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.” (Psalm 13:1-4 NIV)

Rev. Walke goes on to recite the rest of the psalm:
“But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise,
for he has been good to me.” (Psalm 13:5-6 NIV)

This expression of anguish shows, according to Walke, that David deep down still has faith. After all, if he didn’t believe his anger would do anything, what good would there be in expressing it? As such, those who hold their anger inside and keep silent, usually are more hopeless than those who cry out.

This is why Walke invites us all to take our troubles to church. We don’t need to put up a happy face all the time. Indeed, in our expression of anger, we also show an expresssion of faith.

This totally struck a chord with me. I was taught as a child not to express my anger. Like I said, it was said about me that I was angry too easily. When I landed in the mental hospital at age 21, I even for a while had the unofficial nurses’ “diagnosis” of “angry and dissatisfied”. While there definitely was some truth to this, stuffing my anger only fueled my hopelessness. It was in my expressing my despair that I also showed that deep down I still believed in a good outcome.

Joining in with Let’s Have Coffee.

What Day Is It Anyway? (March 24, 2020) #WDIIA

Posted on by Astrid

Okay, so I’m back with another #WDIIA post. As I write this, it’s March 24, 2020, 8:50PM. My paternal grandmother, my last living grandparent, the one who died in 2018, would’ve turned 96 today. It’s weird that I think about that now, as I didn’t call her for her birthday for the last several years of her life. She was profoundly hearing impaired and had severe memory loss. Then again, I could’ve sent cards, but didn’t. I do miss her though. Still, I am thankful that she doesn’t have to suffer through the COVID-19 thing.

I awoke at 8:36 this morning. Had a quick wash, brushed my teeth and got dressed. Had another bowl of yoghurt with crunchy muesli for breakfast. Thank goodness they still had full-fat yoghurt. I normally have fat-free yoghurt, but the unbranded ones are so extremely watery they’re really disgusting.

I went for two walks today, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Didn’t go for a walk in the evening this time, but did go on the elliptical for twenty minutes. I went on it for twenty minutes yesterday too and only burned 66 calories according to my Fitbit. Today I burned 90. That’s not very good, as a brisk walk burns off more. Still, I’m feeling my legs and back now. Besides, burning calories isn’t the only benefit of exercise. I do really hope that, when I can get weighed in again, I’ll have lost weight. I usually get weighed in at the day center once a month, but not sure that will be happening now.

The week’s groceries arrived today. Tomorrow, we’re going to make toasted ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch. I’m looking forward to that.

Not much else happened today. How has your day been?

COVID-19 Again

Posted on by Astrid

I was rather late dedicating a specific post to COVID-19. As such, you might think that not much has changed. However, then you’d be wrong. I guess our government was late with the infection spread prevention measures too. Then again, we didn’t have cases of the virus here in the Netherlands until some two or three weeks ago I think. I may be mistaken, as I hardly ever watch the news.

As such, I did not hear the prime minister’s two press conferences, one last week Thursday and one on Sunday. I did not hear his address to the public on Monday either. I did not watch the Lower House debate yesterday, in which the public health minister apparently fainted. I wonder how they did the debate, given that gatherings are now prohibited.

I did hear some about the news from my family and staff though. My sister called on Sunday, wanting to catch up. She works in a restaurant, so she’s out of work now. Thankfully, her husband works in an office job, so he can work from home.

My mother called on Monday. My parents are both retired, so they don’t have to worry about unemployment. However, my mother is 64 and my father is 71, so I do worry about their health should they catch the virus.

My husband’s work is still going on for now. He works as a truck driver in what is apparently a vital part of transport.

Like I mentioned on Monday, the day center I go to closed yesterday. The day center staff are now coming out to our homes to provide us with activities. I took some of my stuff from the day center with me to the home on Tuesday. Some staff even transferred my elliptical to the home.

Thankfully here, going outside for walks is not yet prohibited. I hope it won’t ever be. I’ve been going for walks with staff twice to three times a day each day now. I don’t need to worry about not getting my physical exercise for now.

I haven’t been in a grocery store yet since the measures took effect, since my facility orders groceries online. However, my husband said yesterday that the grocery store was completely out of regular bread, but it still carried lots of raisin bread.

I do feel that we live in a rather interesting time. It feels very odd, but in a way it feels comforting knowing that we have the Internet now.

Mama’s Losin’ It

#WeekendCoffeeShare (March 15, 2020)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi and happy Sunday evening to you all! I’m joining in with #WeekendCoffeeShare, although I’m not inviting anyone over for a real coffee. Like I said yesterday, it was recommended that my husband do not visit me for the duration of the anti-coronavirus measures. Two of my fellow clients still got visitors today, so I was feeling a bit jealous. Then this evening after the prime minister held another press conference, the staff decided people can’t visit here unless they really need to at all. Day activities are still going on as far as I know, but that might change. So anyway, you’ll need to grab a virtual cup of coffee.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you how amazed I am at the virtual community building this coronavirus pandemic does. I mean, never before have I felt so much in common with my blogger pals from all over the world. Of course, I have a handful of blogger friends with whom I have a lot in common anyway, but with the #WeekendCoffeeShare community and the wider blogosphere in general, I don’t. Now we all over the world share in a common experience, no matter how tragic.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you that this week has been pretty awesome in the exercise department. Though I only went on the elliptical once and never reached my daily step goal, I did get 316 active minutes over the week. That’s more than five hours! I did go for regular walks almost each day. Here’s hoping that the coronavirus crisis won’t ever keep me stuck indoors. I’ve heard in Italy people aren’t allowed to go out on the streets at all, but they sit on their balconies anyway.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I did some great reading over the past few days. I’m not reading as much as I would ideally want to, but I’m at least picking up books again (figuratively speaking, that is, as I don’t raise my Braille display while reading eBooks).

If we were having coffee, I would share that my husband has been making great progress on living room renovations. We at least used to have softboard on the ceiling, which isn’t fire-resistant. My husband told me he took it all off.

He is a truck driver, so despite the coronavirus management measures, he’s expected to go to work tomorrow. He said it’d be crazy.

If we were having coffee, lastly I would tell you that I spoke to my sister on the phone this evening. My sister works in a restaurant, which is closing for three weeks at least. Her husband can thankfully work from home.

I hadn’t spoken to my sister in a while. She has a six-months-old daughter. I was amazed to learn about my niece’s development. I last saw her in November and apparently she’s making great strides.

How are you all doing amidst the coronavirus craze?