Moon Phases and Seasons

Posted on by Astrid

I, being blind, haven’t been able to see the moon in at least a quarter of a century and for most of this time, I didn’t pay much attention to its existence. I didn’t have a clue which phase the moon was in until a year or two ago, when Apple introduced moon phases as part of its weather app. Even then, I saw the moon phase as just some random factoid I liked.

That is until a few months ago, my staff told me about a fellow client who is usually very cognitively impaired and withdrawn but lights up significantly during the time around the full moon. I haven’t yet figured out whether moon phases impact me too, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they did. I’m just not as aware of the moon because I can’t see it.

Which brings me to the topic of seasons. Fall here has been incredibly warm and I’m struggling to conceptualize the fact that it’s late October. I can still see whether it’s light or dark outside when I’m actually outside, but I am starting to struggle more with the concept of seasons. I do still know that it’s late October, but I don’t “feel” it, if this makes sense. I don’t know how much of this is my blindness and how much, if anything, is cognitive decline.

I’m sharing this post with Friday Writings, for which the optional prompt is the moon. Yeah, I know it’s Sunday, but who cares?

Friday Feels (September 13, 2024)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today I’m participating in Friday Feels. The idea is to answer three questions about the past week and share an F word related to it. The questions are:


  1. What made me happy?

  2. What made me sad?

  3. What made a difference?

F word

My F word for this week is “fall”. Last Saturday, it looked like summer wasn’t going to end anytime soon, since the daytime temperature reached 27°C. From this past Monday on though, the weather’s been considerably chillier and rainier. On Wednesday, the temperature didn’t even get above 14°C. Today is slightly less chilly, but the nights are truly getting colder.

What made me happy?

First, Chinese takeout for dinner on Monday to celebrate a fellow client’s birthday.

Second, a treat of one of my favorite biscuits with my afternoon coffee today.

Third, the fact that I was able to get the WiFi on my iPhone to work properly again here. It turned out that turning off a privacy setting on my phone for this particular network, solved the issue.

Last but certainly not least, swimming! On Wednesday, I heard that two of my fellow residents were going swimming at the institution pool that evening. Usually, about seven or eight residents go and it’s too overwhelming for me, but since there was another activity too, just these two guys were going. I took up the courage to ask my staff whether I could go too. It was amazing!

What made me sad?

I experienced a slight increase in bad memories over the past week. Mostly, they were manageable, which is why I’m not using the word “flashback” to describe them.

What made a difference?

There are several things that made a difference this week. First, the fact that one of my trusted staff returned from vacation this week. Most are still on holiday, so the next few weeks will be somewhat difficult still, but I managed this week.

Second, the weather, like I said, is very different and it made a difference, in that I could sleep under my weighted blanket without sweating excessively. This is important, because until now I thought something might be wrong with me. I guess not.

Third, the new agreement that staff will no longer unlock the door for me when I want to elope and will physically restrain me if necessary to keep me from for instance climbing over the fence. I saw the agreement on Tuesday and, though I still have some questions about it, I am for the most part relieved about it.

10 on the 10th for October 2023: A Fall-Themed Would You Rather

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today I’m joining Marsha for 10 on the 10th, for which the theme this month is a fall-related would you rather. Here goes.

1. Would you rather soak your feet in pumpkin innards or in creamed corn?
Ew to both. But if I had to choose, creamed corn it would be.

2. Would you rather dance with a scarecrow or play poker with a mummy?
Dance with a scarecrow. I can’t play poker at all and, while I can’t really dance either, that’s not really something I care about.

3. Would you rather eat an apple dipped in caramel or a pumpkin muffin iced with cream cheese frosting?
Apple. I’ve never had a pumpkin muffin and am not sure I like it, but I do love apples and caramel.

4. Would you rather dress as a clown or as a monster for an entire week?
Monster. That’s more my style and I am more of a monster than a clown anyway.

5. Would you rather rake leaves or burn marshmallows?
Neither, truthfully, but if I have to choose, I’ll burn marshmallows, because at least I can enjoy eating them afterwards.

6. Would you rather smell like a bonfire or like a cinnamon stick for an entire month?
Cinnamon stick for sure. I can’t stand the smell of bonfires.

7. Would you rather watch a scary movie or go ghost hunting?
Go ghost hunting. Like I said last week, scary movies give me nightmares. So probably does going ghost hunting, but oh well.

8. Would you rather stay overnight in a haunted house or a cemetery?
A haunted house, I guess. I don’t actually believe in ghosts, so I’d prefer the comfort of an actual bed to sleep in even if interrupted by ghostly sounds over staying in a cemetery all night.

9. Would you rather eat pumpkin pie or apple crisp?
Apple crisp. I’ve only had pumpkin pie once or twice and vaguely remember not liking it. Apple crisp sounds delish to me.

10. Would you rather be in a pie eating contest or a pumpkin carving contest?
Pie eating contest. I mean, both are equally unhealthy for me, in the sense that I’d probably cut myself in the carving contest and overeat to the point of being sick in the pie eating contest. For this reason, I’ll go with what at least gives me some joy and that’s eating pie. Unless it’s pumpkin pie, of course.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (October 4, 2023)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s been a few weeks since I participated, so I’m joining in with the Wednesday HodgePodge once again. Here goes.

1. What’s something that scares you?
Too many things to mention, although I’m not one to have many classic phobias. My main one is toxiphobia, a fear of poisons.

2. Do you care where the food you eat comes from? To what degree?
Not really, honestly. Not that I get a say in where my care home food comes from in terms of the supermarket they order from – it’s some type of countrywide supplier specifically for care agencies. However, it’s not like I’d care much even if I did have a say. I do care about having a say in the specific foods I get to eat, which thankfully I have. When it comes to organic or not and the country my food originally comes from, I honestly am too lazy and stingy to care even when I go to the brick-and-mortar supermarket in the next town.

3. What’s something you wish you’d spent more time doing when you were younger?
Be creative. I did love writing as a child and spent a good amount of time on that, but I definitely wish I’d spent more time on other creative outlets.

4. Let’s play autumn this or that….pumpkin spice or apple cider? Corn maze or haunted house? Horror film or Hallmark movie? Blanket or sweatshirt? Watch football or watch the World Series? Foliage-red, yellow or orange?
Pumpkin spice for sure. Corn maze, though I don’t care for it either (but I hate haunted houses). Neither on the movies, but a Hallmark one if I have to choose, since the reason I hate haunted houses is because I startle extremely easily and also I don’t want nightmares. Is the blanket supposed to go onto me in the same way as a sweatshirt? Then I’ll choose a sweatshirt because it’s easier to keep in place while I type. Neither on the sports thing. That is, I’ve never heard of the World Series but assume it’s sports-related too and I never watch sports. All three colors are beautiful.

5. This time last year where were you and what were you doing?
Such an intriguing question especially today. October 4, 2022 was my last full day in the care facility in Raalte. Most of my furniture was being moved to the intensive support home (my now old care home) that day, as Raalte’s transportation person was off on Wednesdays (something thankfully my staff did realize beforehand, unlike with the recent move). Can you imagine I lived in three different care homes over the past year?

6. Insert your own random thought here.
October 4, 2023. I’ve been living in my current care home for just over two weeks and am beginning to consciously or unconsciously erase my connection to the intensive support home. Honestly, I feel awful when a temp worker tells me he knows me from there. That being said, it’s not just because it could hardly get worse than there, that my current home feels like a better fit.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (October 19, 2022)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all. I’m joining the Wednesday HodgePodge again. This week’s questions are truly random or at least I cannot see a common theme to them. I don’t mind though. Here goes.

1. What’s something you wish you’d figured out sooner?
That I am the beloved of God and that it really doesn’t matter what my family or anyone else thinks of me in the end, God will ultimately judge my heart.

2. Something from childhood you still enjoy today?
Swimming, playground equipment (when it’s strong enough to carry adult me, such as here at the institution), children’s books.

3. Are you a fidgeter? What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word fidget?
I am a definite fidgeter! The first thing that comes to mind is hair twirling. I’ve done it since adolescence. When I was 21, my autism diagnosing psychologist in fact told me I really had to unlearn it because it was a “serious social handicap”. Thankfully, the only people who agreed were my immediate family, who had more or less abandoned me by this time anyway.

4. Your favorite fall vegetable? How do you like it prepared?
Broccoli! In fact, about a month ago, I was discussing with a former staff what vegetable I’d choose if I could eat only one for the rest of my life and I picked broccoli. It is such a versatile vegetable. I love it cooked plain or with a creamy sauce, stir-fried or even raw in a salad. Next up are carrots. I eat them raw as a side to my lunch almost everyday.

5. What’s something you find mildly annoying, but not annoying enough to actually do anything about? Might you now?
My headphones (the cheap Chinese brand ones I bought six months ago as a replacement for the Bose QuietComfort 45 ones that broke within three weeks of me having bought them) being basically useless as wireless headphones due to the battery draining very quickly. I have been intending to replace them for a few weeks, but can’t decide for sure on a new model. For now, I’m using my AirPods with my iPhone, but this is indeed slightly annoying.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I’ve been in the main institution care home for two weeks today and it’s going pretty well. We had some issues early on, among other things with my medication, but all has been sorted now.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (October 12, 2022)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all. I haven’t been around in a few days and am not too motivated to write. However, I don’t want to abandon this blog altogether, so I’m participating in the Wednesday HodgePodge for today. Here goes.

1. Thursday (Oct 13) is National Train Your Brain Day. What do you do to keep your brain in tip top shape? Is it helping?
Does reading and writing in English, which is my second language, count? Other than that, not very much. I used to love a word game called 7 Little Words, but it’s not as accessible now as it used to be.

Is it helping? I’m afraid not. I feel like I’ve been slowly deteriorating over the past fifteen years.

2. You can sit with anyone in the world and “pick their brain”…whom do you choose? Tell us why?
Anton Došen, a former professor of psychiatry of intellectual disability here in the Netherlands and the first one (if I’m correct) to describe the discrepancy between cognitive and emotional development.

3. What’s something happening in the world (or your corner of it) right now that you have trouble “wrapping your brain around”?
Too many things to count… Politics, the economy, the war in Ukraine, my staff’s expectations of me… God’s love… etc.

4. On a scale of 1-10 where do you fall in the pumpkin fanclub? (1=blech, 10=make it all pumpkin all the time) Tell us something delicious you’ve tasted recently that had some pumpkin in it somewhere.
Hmmm, I don’t really care for pumpkin that much, unless it’s mixed in with other vegetables in some kind of stew or something. I’ve never had pumpkin spiced anything either.

5. Share a favorite song, book, or movie with an autumn title, setting, or vibe.
I have absolutely no idea.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I am struggling. For one thing, fall is the hardest season for me. For another, settling into my new home is really difficult. Thankfully, I’m getting to know my staff a little and trying to let them know how I feel. This is hard, as I don’t want to be seen as too demanding. I am pretty sure some staff see me as such anyway.

The Wednesday HodgePodge (September 21, 2022)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I haven’t blogged in several days. A lot is still on my mind, but I’m too all over the place to write it all down in a coherent way. Don’t worry, I’ll get to it, eventually. For right now, I’m joining in with the Wednesday HodgePodge. Here goes.

1. Volume 478. Sounds like a lot. Where were you in 1978? If you weren’t born where were you in 2008?
In 1978, my parents got married. I wasn’t born yet. As for 2008, I spent the entire year on the locked acute psychiatric unit. I got there in November of 2007 and left for the resocialization unit in March of 2009. This year was also the year I started officially dating my partner, whom I married in 2011.

2. Raise your hand if you remember records playing at a speed of 78 rpm? What’s a topic that when it comes up you “sound like a broken record”?
No, I don’t think I remember that. As for the second part of the question, anything that causes me stress or worry can get me talking like a broken record.

3. What’s the last thing you recorded in some way?
I rarely if ever make audio recordings. In fact, I did one once in my private diary app Day One just to see if it’d work. Can’t remember when though. Joyce supposes many will reply with something they’ve added to their DVR, but I have no idea what that even is. So yeah, like her, I’m going with something I wrote down and it’s my worries about the prospective new care home. I E-mailed them to my assigned home staff Monday night.

4. Thursday is the first day of fall (in the northern hemisphere). How do you feel about the changing seasons? Something you’re looking forward to this fall?
Fall is my least favorite season, so I don’t really like this change of the seasons. However, I do look forward to hopefully being able to capture some photos of the amazing fall colors. I’ve heard the main institution that I may move to in two weeks is surrounded by beautiful nature.

5. In what way (or ways) are you like the apple that didn’t “fall far from the tree”?
My mother half-jokingly says that I got all my negative traits from her and all my positive traits from my father. Indeed, I do share my mother’s short temper, but I also share her creative talent. In many other ways, we differ. For one thing, she hates to depend on others (except for my father). For this reason, she can’t stand those in the helping professions, including doctors. This is somewhat worrisome now that she’s in her late sixties and her health is declining. However, she considers me an attention-seeker for accepting care.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
I’m so nervous! In less than an hour, I will be headed to the main institution to have my first orientation visit with the prospective new care home. I am really hoping it is as good as people say it is. Please all pray this works out for me.

Five Things I Love About Fall #5Things

Posted on by Astrid

Today’s topic for the #5Things challenge is things we love about autumn. Or fall of course, as I primarily use American English on my blog (as far as I’m aware). Fall is my least favorite season and today is a beautiful late summer day with temps having risen to 26°C. However, there are definitely signs that fall is upon us already. To prepare myself, I’m sharing my favorite things about the season.

1. Fall colors. Like DrTanya mentioned in her original post, there’s something special about the specific shades of orange, yellow, red and green that come with fall. I am of course no longer able to actually see colors, but I can still imagine what they look like.

2. Warm, comfy clothes. Of course, I mentioned that one of my favorite things about summer is the ability to wear skirts and other looser-fitting clothes. However, I also love the feel of my more autumnal clothes. I especially will be looking for a onesie someday this fall.

3. Comfort food. DrTanya already mentioned apple pie. Mmm, how I love this! I also really want to be making pumpkin spiced something at least once this fall.

4. Decorating for a new season. I don’t really have much in the way of home decor in my room, but would really like to change that. One of my staff already offered to make a fall-themed table decoration with me.

I am quite the collector type, so I love looking for pine cones, acorns and fallen leaves.

5. Spending more time indoors. Fall is most known for its rainy days. While I don’t like rainy weather itself, I can appreciate the time to be indoors and read or craft.

What are some things you love about fall?

My Fall 2020 Bucket List #Blogtober20

Posted on by Astrid

Today’s prompt for #Blogtober20 is “Into the Groove”. I don’t really know what to do with that prompt, so instead I’m going to share my fall bucket list. September is usually mild here, but by October, fall weather is truly here. That is, two years ago, we had a day in mid-October when the temperature rose to 27°C. That seems unlikely this year. It’s windy and rainy right now. Fall is here! Let me share my fall bucket list.

1. Play in a pile of fallen leaves. I would really like to do that this year. I used to love the colors of fallen leaves. Now, I can no longer see them, but I can still smell and feel the leaves and hear them rustle.

2. Do a fall-related craft. I have been looking at lots of projects to try. For example, someone in a craft-related Facebook group did a needle-felted pumpkin. I’ve never tried needle felting, but I immediately wondered whether it’d be doable for me. I’ve also seen lots of other fall-related crafts and want to try at least one of them.

3. Prepare some fall-related food. I’d love to try something with pumpkin spice, as I just recently learned what it is and that it doesn’t involve actual pumpkin. I think it’s delicious!

4. Make a fall-themed soap. I think one of my favorite soaping suppliers has a photo contest in November – at least they did in previous years. I never participated, as I won’t win anyway, but I want to try this year. In any case, in previous years, all contestants would get a coupon just for participating. I don’t have fall-themed molds, but of course I could experiment with fall-related ingredients too. Otherwise, I could just participate with a different themed soap, as there is no set theme.

5. Read a thriller or other spooky book. I’ve seen a lot of them on people’s fall TBRs. I’m not a big fan of fantasy, but I do like the occasional thriller.

6. Create a fall-based tablescape. Or do some other fall-themed decorating in my room. I’ve not done tablescapes at all before. I mean, I don’t have a table that isn’t used. However, now I do have the small table that I can use until someone else needs it. It has just my essential oil diffuser on it. I would really like to create some fall-related decor on that table.

What’s on your fall bucket list?

#Blogtober20