Shades of Blue

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. This month, the Weekly Prompts Colour Challenge is “blue”. I have written several posts addressing the color blue. It is one of my favorite colors, probably my favorite after purple. Oh wait, now that I think of all the beautiful shades of blue, I actually believe as a general color category, blue is even better than purple. Sorry, lilac.

There are so many wonderful shades of blue. I once took a quiz on Dictionary.com to determine how much I knew about the different words for various blues. The only one I got wrong the first time I took the quiz, was the meaning of “cerulean”. I was unsure when I retook it today too, but remembered that my first instinct had been incorrect back then so selected the next thing that came to mind. And this time, I scored 8 out of 8 correct answers. That doesn’t mean that I don’t tthink cerulean should be purplish.

Since the quiz did not explain every shade of blue clearly, and there are many more that weren’t mentioned in it, I just looked a few up. Since I do have some concept of color despite being totally blind now, I can imagine what colors would look like. No-one can be sure whether I’m correct, but that applies to sighted people’s internal perception of color as well.

Blue is the color I have the most shades of in polymer clay and I don’t even have all of them. I have Fimo blue (true blue, so blue as blue should be, apparently), brilliant blue, pacific blue, aqua, blue ice quartz, blue agate and peppermint, which contrary to common sense is blue not green. I also have Premo cobalt blue and ultramarine blue, as well as Cernit in several shades of blue that I can’t remember. In this sense, it’s interesting to note that I hardly create anything primarily blue out of polymer clay. I think I need to change that.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (June 7, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. It’s past 10:30PM, so I should really be in bed and I certainly shouldn’t be drinking coffee. Then again, this is a virtual get-together, so I’ll gladly pass you a virtual cup of your favorite beverage. Let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s been quite unpredictable but mostly chillier than I’d like and also rainier. At the end of last week (I believe) I was even awoken by a thunderstorm in the middle of the night. And if you know me well enough, you’ll know that I hate thunderstorms.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that, thankfully, it wasn’t raining on any of the evenings we did the walking event I mentioned last week. That is, not during our walks at least. I’m also proud to say that I completed the event and earned a medal. I’ve always been surprised at the fact that participants in the big Nijmegen four-day walking event only earn an actual medal every five years. Of course, I can probably guess the reason: the medals we get are cheap and not something a neurotypical adult would appreciate. As such, participants in the Nijmegen thing are as happy with a simple mark of completion as I am with the medal. We also got free ice cream at the end of the event (well, those who’d actually completed the event and earned all their checkmarks). I chose whipped cream-flavored ice cream.

Did I mention that originally, my staff had agreed with me that I’d use a wheelchair as needed during the event? That wasn’t an option according to the staff accompanying me. I sort of understood, but was annoyed at the lack of clear communication. Thankfully, I was able to complete the event on foot.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I had two physical therapy sessions this week. One was on Wednesday and it was originally intended for another dry needling session. However, because of the walk that evening, we decided to do the dry needling on Friday and for the physical therapist to just loosen up my leg a bit.

On Friday, I had my second dry needling session and it hurt like crazy. Afterwards, I got a bit dizzy. However, it’s now nearly 36 hours after the treatment and at least for now the pain is less than it was last week. I’m also hopeful that this will actually in a few days turn out to have significantly lessened my leg pain.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I haven’t been very crafty over the past week. On Monday, I created a polymer clay bear using a new-to-me skill: filling it up with tinfoil. The foil needs to be crumpled very tightly to prevent air bubbles forming in it and there’s also the risk of air bubbles getting trapped between the clay and the foil. Air bubbles will expand and can cause the layer of clay to crack. This happened with the bear too, but still, I’m pretty content with the result.

If we were having coffee, I’d say that I did enjoy thinking up new ideas for creations. I badly want to craft a standing unicorn someday, but it needs a wire armature. I had been reading up more on sculpting with clay, but my book doesn’t include a unicorn or horse (it’s a book about creating animals). So what did I do? I asked ChatGPT. It came up with what sounds like a pretty doable tutorial. I did have a few questions that I asked in a polymer clay group on Facebook. I still need to figure some things out, but I’m confident I will be able to create a wire armature someday and as a result craft a standing unicorn. I already got one of the student staff here quite excited for helping me make it.

“Paper No Longer Exists.”

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today I’m once again participating in Esther’s Writing Prompt, which this week is “paper”. I could be writing about my rather disastrous attempts at paper crafting, but did so already in 2022. I could also write about my first diary, which I kept on Braille notes stuck into a handmade notebook. That would be a short post, as the diary was short-lived. I only regularly kept a diary once I got a computer.

Instead, a phrase I read in a teen magazine back in 2006, comes to mind. The magazine interviewed a futurologist, a person who scientifically tries to predict the future. They asked whether the teen magazine would still exist in 2020. The futurologist said it would not be in the same form, because “paper no longer exists in 2020”.

He probably meant paper tabloids and magazines, not paper in general. More generally, he probably meant that our digital age would’ve progressed so far that people would no longer read traditional paper media. That isn’t entirely true even in 2025, though I wish it were (because that’d make media much more accessible to me).

In other ways, the futurologist was spot on about life in 2020, though not in a good way. He predicted we’d have found a cure for cancer and AIDS by this time. This was what soothed my mind each time I had a health anxiety attack and worried about cancer: if I just made it to 2020, it’d be cureable. As we all know, it isn’t and most likely won’t be anytime soon. That being said, the flip side of the cure the futurologist predicted, did turn out to happen, ie. a global pandemic. And actually exactly in 2020.

Back to paper. I just reread the article and it said that digital paper, which the futurologist claimed would completely replace regular paper, would look just like traditional paper but be wirelessly refreshable. I know some people have digital photo frames, but I haven’t heard of refreshable paper that’s as thin as the regular kind.

Oh, and in case you were wondering: the magazine I got the article out of, no longer exists.

Today’s Small Joys (June 1, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all. Today is a mixed day emotionally. In the morning, I was quite tired and this frustrated me. At night, I also experienced frustration at the fact that, tomorrow morning, there’ll only be temp workers on this side of the home. We’ll see how it goes though and right now, I want to write and not just moan. So I’m joining Sunny Sunday and sharing this day’s small joys.

1. Doing my hair. I rarely do anything with my hair except for brushing it, but today I decided I wanted it in a ponytail. I have a dozen scrunchies and selected one that has a really velvety texture.

2. Perfume. I also decided to spray on some perfume. I rarely do this and wasn’t sure anyone other than me would notice, but my best friend did.

3. A white Kinder Bueno. Usually my best friend and I buy one to share when we’re at Hema, my best friend’s favorite store. We were there this afternoon, but only to have lunch. I said I wanted to pop into Aldi for some quark and my best friend apparently needed groceries too. It still surprised me that, when dropping me off at the institution, my best friend gave me the Kinder Bueno.

4. A pun on the word “quark”. For those not from Europe, quark is like thick yogurt (sometimes wrongly called cottage cheese). My friend though found another meaning, some type of physics term, and kept asking me whether I wanted “hadron-yogurt”. This is something I truly love about our friendship: the tons of inside jokes that no-one else understands.

5. A large stroopwafel (cookie) with my evening coffee. According to my foo plan, I only get those on Fridays and Saturdays, so it was great having a treat.

6. Lovely comments from my readers. I am so glad I don’t rely on search engines like Google (thank you not, AI) to drive traffic to my blog. I do really hope blogging will withstand the influx of AI.

7. Speaking of AI, having some more creative ideas thanks to a ChatGPT convo I had several months ago and was reminded of today. Specifically, I had ChatGPT create a Premo polymer clay color recipe for the color of my best friend’s car and was reminded of this when a person in a Facebook group asked for Premo color recipes. There are plenty on Etsy, but in that group, we aren’t allowed to mention vendors. Another commenter said a lot of it is experimenting. I am now wanting to start experimenting with colors. I know the result will likely be poor because of my blindness, but I love the creative flow this idea gets me into.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (May 31, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. I originally wanted to write another post first, but got distracted by a dozen other ideas. It’s 9PM here, so no more coffee for me. I need to drink plenty of water because I have some extra fluid in my right leg. Let’s have a glass of water and let’s chat. Or if you’d like coffee, fine by me too.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. For most of the week, it’s been quite rainy and too chilly for my liking, even though the daytime temperature was probably still higher than it should be. Today though, we have sunshine and a daytime high of 25°C.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I haven’t been as physically active as I’d have wanted to be. Like I said above, I have some unwanted fluid in my right leg. My leg also hurts from muscle knots. I had a dry needling treatment at the physical therapist’s on Tuesday and am having another one next Wednesday. I am not 100% sure it’s working, as on Thursday my pain was worse and besides, I don’t know which pain or limitation is from the muscle knots and which is from the fluid build-up.

Today was a good day in the walking department though. Next week is the institution’s four-day walking event. I’m going to take part in the 3km walk, but I’ll be allowed to sit in a wheelchair as needed (thankfully, this event isn’t as strict on walking as some others are). That way, I can take part in the festivities and enjoy the experience but don’t need to overexert myself.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you about my creative endeavors over the past week. I finished two unicorns for the home’s volunteers on Monday.

That day, I also found out that one of the student staff would be leaving. He didn’t work with me, but I know him because he used to be a student staff at the care facility in Raalte before coming here. Back then, we used to go on walks together, taking his camera with us and snapping pictures which my image description app could then describe. The app wasn’t nearly as advanced as it is now, so I might want to look up some of these pictures and run them through Be My Eyes now.

Anyway, I wanted to craft something for him but didn’t know what until my best friend asked me what his hobbies are. I initially said that I don’t know, then remembered our photographing adventures back in Raalte and said “photography”. My best friend immediately suggested I craft a camera. I had never done so, but my best friend gave me some suggestions. Here’s the result. Be My Eyes recognized it immediately and even said that the photo of the back I took might be of a miniature camera.


If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I cooked pasta for my fellow residents on Thursday. It wasn’t as good as it could’ve been, because the veg had been overcooked and generally speaking the meal was a bit bland. Better luck next time.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share that yesterday, on the student staff’s last shift, I played DJ again at the other side of the home. I initially played some Dutch-language songs that were apparently not well-known, but finally I chose “Oerend hard” by Normaal and that had my fellow residents loudly singing along.

Overall, this week was a good one except for the pain.

Blindness Doesn’t Bind Me

Posted on by Astrid

I am blind. This is, in a sense, an advantage. Not because it means I’m more capable in some way than sighted people. Of course, I could be more capable than some sighted people in some ways, but that’s not due to my blindness.

I say my blindness is an advantage in that it allows me an easy explanation for my challenges when I don’t want to elaborate. Other blind people – those in the “competent blind adult” community – may think I’m setting a bad example. Honestly though, I don’t care.

I know blindness shouldn’t bind me. It shouldn’t keep me from achieving my goals. But neither should autism. Or mild cerebral palsy. Or any of my other disabilities alone.

But I don’t want to have to pull my every disability apart to see how it does or does not – or should or should not – limit me. I am not blindness, autism, cerebral palsy or whatnot. And yes, I know I’m more dependent than other people with my diagnoses. But I am not my diagnoses. I am myself and I lead a meaningful life as much as I can. And that includes not letting other people define what that is.

Written for Three Things Challenge #MM75. I didn’t know how to fit in the word “abound” and actually had to look up its definition to be sure I would, if using it, use it correctly.

IQ Tests and Final Exams and Psychological Assessments, Oh My!

Posted on by Astrid

Hi all! Today, Esther’s weekly writing prompt is “tests”. Oh my! This made me think of so many things. IQ tests: I’ve had half a dozen or more during my life. Final exams: so glad they’re over with and it’s been twenty years since I graduated high school. Psychological assessments: I still have a love-hate relationship with those. And that goes for tests in general, I guess.

After all, as a child, I didn’t mind taking IQ tests. When I was twelve, I got the infamous Wechsler IQ test, well, the verbal part of it, since I’m blind and the performance part isn’t accessible. I got a score of 154, which, according to the psychologist, indicated giftedness. I’m pretty sure there were all sorts of things wrong with that assessment though.

When I was 30, I got another IQ test, Wechsler again but the adult version and now they removed the clear distinction between verbal and performance IQ so the report just said I got “parts” of the test. My overall IQ score had dropped to 119 I believe. That’s still above-average and I’m pretty sure that’s correct. However, I wish there were a performance IQ test for blind people, because I am pretty sure that’d show where my real limits are. Not that I’m proud of being disabled, but I am and if it could be proven on a test, that’d be much better than an ever-changing psychiatric diagnosis.

Final exams. Like I said, I’m glad it’s been twenty years since I graduated high school. My final exams were quite frustrating, as not only was I horribly nervous, but my computer crashed once in the middle of the test. I graduated from what in the UK is called grammar school and honestly I have no clue how I did it. I mean, well, I know, sort of: the same way I “passed” my IQ tests, ie. being a pretty above-average memorizer. Too bad that a good memory and decent academic skills don’t get me far in life. It takes more than test-taking abilities to be successful, after all.

Flash Fiction: Of Fish and Tape (Or Horses and Receipts)

Posted on by Astrid

A fish swam in the ocean with a roll of sticky tape in its mouth. It was a copycat really, because it learned to carry something in its mouth from the stick horse a little girl once created for her teacher’s St. Nicholas surprise. The attached poem read
A wooden horse
Without a tail
Flew quickly towards the sun
With in its mouth a receipt
Of an already-eaten cake.

That poem was better in Dutch, as the girl was me, but it was still silly. At least it rhymed in its original Dutch version.

The fish didn’t know this, of course. Its picture had been drawn or otherwise created some 30 years after the girl’s original poem. And even if the fish knew, it didn’t care.

I do wonder though, isn’t a roll of sticky tape far too large for a goldfish? It will know very soon. Or not.

This piece of silliness was written for Simply 6 Minutes. It’s 148 words. My original poem was:
Een houten paard
Zonder staart
Vloog pijlsnel naar de zon
Met in zijn mond een kassabon
Van een opgegeten taart

How Blogging Has Changed Me

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today in her Sunday Poser, Sadje asks us how blogging has changed us and specifically our thinking.

This is a really tough one. I started keeping an online journal that gradually morphed into a blog at age 16 in 2002. Starting that journal wasn’t a surprise: I’ve always been a bit in your face with my issues, especially to strangers. Back then, I wasn’t ashamed to put my thoughts out there for the entire world to read. My English, though it was readable, wasn’t nearly at the level it is now and I had no concept of privacy either for myself or others. I honestly can’t say I don’t regret any posts I’ve put out there. I actually regret having posted some of the writings on my current blog.

As such, having written stuff online for 23 years helped me be slightly more aware of my own and other people’s boundaries. I still probably should be more careful. In fact, I considered starting a new, anonymous blog earlier this year, but I doubt how much that’d help me be truly unidentifiable. I, after all, share so much online about myself that I’m pretty sure my nicknames are easy to connect.

In other respects, blogging has helped me become a better writer. That is, before my days on WP, I did share the stories I’d written as a teen online too. However, these were written in Dutch. Blogging has certainly helped me improve my English.

I still rarely express myself through creative writing, such as poetry or short fiction. That’s a goal I have had for years, but somehow it feels embarrassing to do. That’s weird, isn’t it? I don’t feel ashamed of blabbering about my life, but creative writing scares me.

With respect to connections, WP has helped me immensely. As soon as I moved my diary to WP in 2007, I learned about the blogging community and have started making connections. Some of these people, like carol anne from Therapy Bits, I still talk to more than 15 years on. Blogging isn’t like real life for me, in that hardly any deep friendships have formed out of it. Oh wait, I only have one friend IRL too. 🤣 Maybe this means I’m too superficial for deep connections.

One last thing I learned from blogging is to keep my mouth shut when I have nothing nice to say. That doesn’t mean I can always do so in real life, but I learned early on that particularly when commenting on other people’s posts, you should always include something positive or encouraging. I was harshly criticized back in my early days online for honestly saying that some product wasn’t for me. Turned out the post was sponsored. Let me just say I will never do that kind of thing.

I did occasionally try to be a “lifestyle blogger” in Dutch, but it isn’t my thing and will never be. I’ll, after all, always be authentically me. As such, when I say something nice, I do mean it (it isn’t like I comment positively just because I need to).

That’s a good thing about WP as opposed to self-hosted blogging: there’s less pressure to become an “influencer”. That doesn’t mean you can’t be more or less popular, but I trust those on WP, including those who get a zillion comments, to be authentic.

When Pluto Was a Planet #SoCS

Posted on by Astrid

This morning, I read on a major Dutch news app that a dwarf planet had been discovered on the outskirts of our solar system, reducing the chances that there’s a ninth planet in our solar system to extremely low.

Wait… there are nine planets, right? That’s what I was taught in school and I’m not that old, am I? Or Maybe I am, since it’s been nearly 20 years since Pluto was officially declassified as a planet. It’s now a dwarf planet just like the newly-discovered one, even though Pluto is four times the size of this one.

That brings me to nostalgia in general. That time when Pluto was a planet, when there were 15 million people in the Netherlands… that’s a song, but there are now 18 million. I guess either time flies or I’m getting old or both, since there will always be 15 million people inn the Netherlands and Pluto will always be a planet. Oh, that’s rather ignorant.

This post was written for Stream of Consciousness Saturday, for which the prompt this week is “that time”. I’ve included the Spotify link to the song because YouTube doesn’t seem to work properly.