Glimmers #SoCS

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Hi everyone! Today’s prompt for #SoCS is “starts with ‘gl'”. I immediately thought of the word “glimmer”. This is a beautiful word with an even more beautiful meaning. It is the positive counterpart to a trigger. That is, well, in psychology positive triggers exist too, because a trigger is anything that evokes an emotion be it positive or negative. However, in popular culture a trigger is usually negative. Glimmers are the opposite, those things that remind us that life’s worth living.

I am struggling a lot lately, but still try to find glimmers in each day. For example, making a smoothie can be a glimmer. So is the fact that, on Monday, I spontaneously decided to take out my slow juicer and make a juice. I also decided to finally make a card for the intellectual disability physician involved on my case since I moved to this care agency (yes, the original home in Raalte) nearly seven years ago. She’s retiring and I hope she has a wonderful time.

Glimmers can also be memories that are evoked. Like, today I somehow got talking camping with a staff. This brought back some nice memories from my years going camping at Vlieland with my parents and sister as a child.

It helps me to write out at least one positive each day. That doesn’t mean I can’t write down negatives too, of course, and sometimes the only positive I can think of is a cup of tea. But it’s something at least.

Creating Glimmers

Today’s prompt for Friday Writings is “Glimmers”. A glimmer is the exact opposite of a trigger, something that brings you a sense of safety or joy.

Let me say that I often struggle with the fear of experiencing positive emotions, so even glimmers could be triggers in a way. I have yet to figure out why this is and what to do about it.

That is, one thing I do about it is to create positive experiences for my inner child parts that aren’t connected to the past. An example of this would be reading stories about unicorns. I don’t think my mother ever read me stories about unicorns as a young child, so unicorns bring out the playful inner child in me without the memories of my childhood attached. I can probably safely say that unicorns are a glimmer for me.

Another glimmer are my stuffed animals, but I honestly think the same applies that is the reason I love unicorns: they can’t be connected to my childhood. I currently have five stuffed animals on my bed, but the oldest one I’ve had for about four years.

I wonder why this is, honestly, given that my childhood, though not stellar, wasn’t horrifying either. Ah, who cares as long as I have my unicorn stories, unicorn polymer clay cutters, stuffed anymals, including several unicorns, etc.? Let me just live love laugh in unicorn land. If only it were this easy…