#WeekendCoffeeShare (June 28, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. No more coffee for me, as it’s nearly 9PM. I however do still have some slices of cake with nuts and caramel left over from when my sister and her family came over this afternoon. I also have a bag of mini brownies in my cupboard. I didn’t even know I liked brownies, but yesterday we got one with our coffee when my best friend, my parents and I were eating out. They were great! When my father told the waiter that it was my birthday, he offered me a bag of brownies as a treat. So let’s munch on some sweetness while we have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. No complaining from my sister or my nieces about the heat today, yay! It was 26°C this afternoon, but apparently that’s doable for them. The rest of the week was a mixed bag. Early in the week, we had quite windy weather that made it feel chillier than it was. I even wore a jacket on Tuesday.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that, thank goodness, I survived my birthday! I’m now 39. That’s not what I mean though: I made it through both meeting my parents and the visit from my sister and her family.

Yesterday, my best friend and I drove to Groningen to meet my parents. We walked some time around a library / study hall thingy which had as its only positive for us that you could oversee the city from the roof. Most of the way up, we were able to use escalators, but we had to walk up a flight of stairs to get to the roof. This was a bit scary for me.

After a few hours, we went to a restaurant, the one with the brownies. I was dead set on ordering something I wouldn’t normally eat, so chose the rib eye. When I ordered, the waiter told me it was served with mashed potatoes and, by this time, I was a bit overloaded so didn’t ask for an alternative. Thankfully, my best friend did and I got fries.

The food was good, but seeing my parents was, well, awkward. Thankfully, no arguments and my parents engaged more with me and my best friend than last year. I, however, didn’t want to give them a reason to start making triggering comments so I only replied “Fine” when my mother asked how I was during dinner.

My sister and her family visited me at the institution today. This was actually quite a positive experience. My nieces, who are five and three, were also a lot more engaging with me than last year and a lot less cranky. I allowed both of them to create something with my Fimo Kids clay. I told them I’m going to cure their creations in the oven and could be mailing them their way. Then, my brother-in-law said they’d be in Apeldoorn in a few weeks and could pop over here to pick up their creations then. I actually think I like that.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I got a fitness mat for my birthday from my sister and her family. I really want to work on my strength, but boy is this hard. I tried planking and couldn’t even hold it for ten seconds. When I did a few squats too then checked my heart rate on my Apple Watch, it was 179. It quickly dropped when I was just standing, but this is a good reminder I will want the physical therapist’s advice on starting a strength training routine.

If we were having coffee, next I’d share that we had the institution summer festival on Tuesday and Wednesday. I didn’t participate much, but I did take part in a climbing activity. This was so scary!

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d tell you my assigned staff, behavior specialist, physician and some others had their meeting with the Center for Consultation and Expertise (CCE) on Wednesday. The CCE are going to ask for a consultant to come to my care home and observe me and the staff and on that basis they’re hoping to provide suggestions for better support. I was initially quite pessimistic, but am now cautiously optimistic that things might improve.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (June 21, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare this evening. It’s 5:40PM as I type this. I’d advise you to drink lots of water today, as it’s hot outside, but if you’d like a coffee, I’ll gladly serve you one. I also just heard that one of the staff ordered a dozen bottles of diet coke (and I mean the 1.5l bottles, not single-serving bottles), so if you’d like a coke, that’s okay too. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, I’d start by sharing about the weather. Did I say it’s hot? Yes, I did. The daytime high today was 30°C. That plus lots of sunshine and poor air quality means I may go outside for a bit at 9PM or so, but not now. The rest of the week, the daytime temps have been lower, but I’ve been able to wear short sleeves each day.

Tomorrow is supposed to be another hot day here in the eastern part of the country, but after that, we’re getting some rain and lower temps (though still above 20°C). I’m already looking at the weather forecast for next Saturday, as then my sister and her family will be visiting me for my birthday. Let’s hope it won’t be too hot, as then my sister and her kids will most likely be cranky.

If we were having coffee, next I’d share that I did meet my movement goal on my Apple Watch each day this week again. That is, each day except for today so far, but I’m pretty sure I’ll meet it today too despite only one walk.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that a staff handed me some shorts, shirts and a few other clothing items that she no longer wears. We did have to throw a few things away that I suspected would be worn out soon or damaged in the washing machine. Overall though, I’m very happy with everything she gave me.

If we were having coffee, I’d also tell you that I fell last Sunday. I had just finished a polymer clay project and was walking out of the bathroom after having washed my hands when I stumbled over an open drawer of my nightstand and fell. I apparently fell backwards, hitting my head quite hard on the floor. The staff said I was responsive right away, though I have a small memory gap. After a while, I got a major headache and my neck also started hurting.

My father broke his neck when he was young and didn’t find out until several days later. This thought crept up on me constantly and, not knowing that if I had broken or seriously damaged my neck, I would’ve felt severe pain right away not a while later, I felt quite anxious. My staff wasn’t able to reassure me either. Thankfully, my GP’s nurse practitioner, who came by on Friday to check on me, was. I now am to take paracetamol four times daily for the next few days to lessen the pain, in hopes that I’ll move my neck more and it won’t stay stiff. I’m glad my anxiety is also less, because that too was keeping me from moving my head.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share that, though I have a zillion ideas for what to do in the crafting, physical activity and writing departments, none of these seem to materialize. This frustrates me to no end. I really hope there’s a way for me to get some more structure in my activities without it becoming too compulsive.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (June 14, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this hot Saturday evening. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. No more coffee for me, as it’s 7:30PM. I was just discussing possibly creating a mocktail someday, but not today, as I don’t have the right equipment. It’s the right weather though. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather, as usual. Early in the week, the daytime temperature didn’t even reach 20°C, but yesterday and today were hot with a high of 30°C. It’s also pretty humid. We got some rain today and there are thunderstorms in the forecast. Tomorrow, the temperature’s supposed to be less hot: about 23°C.

If we were having coffee, next I’d tell you that I did still meet my movement goal on my Apple Watch each day this week. I went for bike rides on Monday, Thursday, Friday and today. On Thursday, we rode the side-by-side bike to a shopping center about 10km away. I wanted to buy fruit and look for a hat or cap to protect myself when in the sun. I have a giant straw hat, but don’t like how large it is. Then again, it’s supposed to protect my eyes too. I didn’t find a hat or cap I liked, but I did buy peaches. Yum!

If we were having coffee, next I’d tell you about my creative endeavors over the past week. On Tuesday, I made a new necklace and today, I made four pineapple charms out of polymer clay. These are to be used as decorations for the living room. They’re currently still curing in the oven.

If we were having coffee, I’d also moan once again about the institution’s policies regarding where packages are supposed to be delivered. And about PostNL. I ordered a number of jewelry-making supplies on Tuesday, which were sent out by the store on Wednesday. On Thursday, PostNL would’ve delivered them, but they were too busy (as they usually are). They tried to deliver my package today, but the place that usually picks up packages here on grounds is closed on weekends, so PostNL sent my package on to a pick-up point. And to make matters worse, the pick-up point isn’t even within biking distance. I hope that the package will arrive at the pick-up point Monday morning, and I hope that my Monday afternoon staff will be able and willing to drive me there too. It’s all very frustrating! PostNL used to have a pick-up point in the next town, but that apparently closed.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d talk about the stressors re my upcoming birthday. I initially wrote a post on this topic yesterday, but decided to delete it.

My birthday is on the 27th and I initially waited on my parents to take the initiative to schedule a visit and they apparently waited on me. Then on Tuesday, my bestie and I were discussing this and I realized that I would probably regret it if I didn’t meet my parents for my birthday this year. I mean, they’re in their 70s, so I won’t have many years with them left.

Then came the stress of figuring out what we’re going to do. My bestie proposed we drive to Groningen, which is the big city nearest to where my parents live. I asked my parents about this and my father immediately came up with an idea of showing us around some library museum thingy. We usually eat out for my birthday too, so I asked my parents to find a restaurant. They got the impression that I wanted a Thai restaurant like last year and the year before, so came up with one. Thing is, they’d never been there and the reviews were horrible. There was even a customer who said there’d been plastic in their food and, on top of that, the restaurant admitted it but wouldn’t give a discount.

Then I came up with another idea: to go to a chicken restaurant about 45 minutes from my parents. However, this restaurant is in a tiny town with nothing to do. I also asked my sister to recommend restaurants in Groningen. She initially reacted disappointed that I hadn’t invited my parents over here the day my sister and her family are coming, so I was like “Screw it!” and came up with the chicken restaurant. My sister eventually recommended some places, but these sounded more like diners than restaurants. Finally, my bestie decided to look up good restaurants and found something which sounds good to all of us.

I still feel quite a bit of stress about my birthday, as I don’t have a good relationship with either my parents or my sister. I will however get through it.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (May 4, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m once again joining #WeekendCoffeeShare on Sunday, as yesterday, I had a busy day and was too tired to write.

Today’s the day we commemorate Dutch people who died in World War II (and in every war, conflict and maybe they now count terrorist attacks too since). Only 5% of Dutch people currently were alive during our liberation on May 5, 1945. I never was all that much of a May 4 and 5 follower, but I have over the past few years learned to be more mindful of the freedom and rights I and those I love have, since they are more and more being threatened. For this reason, I think I’m going to do the two minutes of silence at 8PM this year. I hope I’ll have finished my post by then. I’ve just had dinner, so no coffee for me, but I’d love to offer you a drink.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. On Wednesday, we had our first day when, at the national weather institute in De Bilt, the temperature climbed to above 25°C. On Thursday, here it even got to 28°C. I read that the first day of temps above 25°C usually doesn’t happen until mid-May. I appreciated it though. Today, the daytime temp didn’t get above 13°C.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I’ve done a lot of walking again, as well as riding the side-by-side bike. My May challenge on my Apple Watch is to double my movement goal twice. I already did it once so far, so that should be ridiculously easy.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that one of the sick staff whom I’d made the polymer clay frog for last week, let me know via her colleague that she was really happy with it. I had originally asked another staff to pass the frog for the other sick staff on to her. Then, on Tuesday, that staff said it may be nice for the two of us to pop by the sick staff’s house on Wednesday so that I could personally give the frog to her. I did ask the staff whose idea this was to text her colleague to ask her permission for us to stop by, since some care workers with good reason don’t want clients to know where they live. Now I for one never even look up my staff online and would certainly not violate their living space. The sick staff gave her permission so one of the side-by-side bike rides was to there. The staff’s kids were home too and one of them asked me where I live. I, being awkward with young kids that I am, originally mentioned the institution town and then said I lived at [staff’s name]’s work, only to realize that [staff’s name] is “Mommy” to the kid.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that the other side-by-side bike ride was to a market once again. I resisted the urge to buy something, as I’d already been to the supermarket on Monday and I reasoned even just strolling the market is a nice experience. Besides, we did have lunch at a fish diner.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share I’m still struggling with the temp worker situation and how much energy goes into explaining everything to them. Sometimes, I think staff get me, while at other times, it seems as though they’re absolutely clueless.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d tell you that, yesterday, I went to Nijmegen for a cerebral palsy meeting again. It wasn’t the nationwide CP day. That had been in early April but was held in a city that’s a two-hour journey from here, so I hadn’t gone there. Nijmegen is about a 45-minute drive in good traffic. This meeting lasted three hours total and there was no theme. Rather, we gathered in a restaurant and had lunch and some drinks and just chatted. I have met many of the participants a few times before, but there were a few newcomers too. With one of them, I chatted almost the entire time, because we had so much in common. She recommended a few resources to me too.

After the meeting, I had decided to go to my best friend’s parents’ house (ack, “in-laws” is a lot shorter 😉). My best friend picked me up in Nijmegen and drove us there. My best friend’s sister was there for a bit too with her one-year-old son. I really don’t do well with kids, although this one is a lot less loud than my nieces.

I didn’t get back to the institution until 8PM yesterday and went to bed shortly after 10PM. I’m honestly still quite tired.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (April 19, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare tonight. It’s almost 11PM here, so definitely no more coffee for me. If you’d like to grab a drink, feel free to and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. We finally got rain. Not as much as was originally thought and not nearly enough, but we got rain. The temperatures have also been lower, usually around 15°C. This is still warmer than normal, but I still yearn for 20°C.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that, as a result of the rainy weather, I haven’t walked as much as I did in previous weeks. I still kept my perfect streak with respect to my movement goal on my Apple Watch, but didn’t meet my exercise goal everyday.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I’ve finally been crafting again. I created a polymer clay bear holding a heart for my support coordinator, who is on maternity leave. Unfortunately, one of its ears fell off during baking, but thankfully I noticed it in time and was able to add a new ear.

I also made another attempt at creating a polymer clay trinket dish today, but failed once again.

If we were having coffee, I’d report that I had a meeting with the intellectual disability physician, who prescribes my psych meds, on Wednesday. The good news is that I’m allowed to further taper my antipsychotic. The bad news is no answers regarding my tremors. She thinks they may be related to my spastic cerebral palsy and this means that they can get worse when I’m stressed.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I had a dietitian’s appt on Wednesday too. This went well. I’m staying in a sort of acceptable weight range and not having binge eating episodes or purging. My next appt will be in three months.

If we were having coffee, I’d moan about the temp worker situation once again. On Wednesday, when like I said I had two appointments, the staff wanted to orient a new “regular” temp worker to me. As soon as they told me, I told them that this wasn’t going to work out that day, but they kept telling me to see what’d come out of my doctor’s appt first and then we’d discuss it again. Well, no-one ever allowed for any discussion after the appt and, when the time came for the worker to be oriented, the staff doing the orienting kept pushing me in overt and covert ways to accept him. Like, the temp worker was constantly sneakily, without talking, being in my presence. This gave me a horribly unsafe feeling, because I, being blind, couldn’t be sure whether he was there or not.

The staff doing the orienting at one point seemed to show some understanding and told me she was going to talk it over with the other staff. She came back to tell me that it’d been agreed between my assigned staff, the support coordinator, behavior specialist and the team manager that, if I refused him now, I’d had my chance. She never told me who’d told her that when she was “talking it over”, so I assumed it was my assigned staff. I still refused the temp worker and to this day feel horrible about the whole situation. I mean, this whole agreement among the powers-that-be is showing that they believe I refuse staff for their one orientation moment just because I feel like it. Honestly, I still disagree with that whole thing about just one orientation moment and then they’re as regular as the regular staff who’ve worked here for years.

At one point, I went into the communal room and another staff, one of my “favorites”, was there. She asked me what was up and I explained that I had two appts that originally the staff didn’t think I could handle in one day and now they added this orientation thing to it too. The temp worker was present too and I told him it wasn’t that I didn’t like him, but he hadn’t even spoken a word to me during his previous shifts here and now he was creeping up on me. He apparently had been instructed to do so. The other staff understood and I actually talked a little to the temp worker.

Unfortunately, when I read my daily log notes for the past week today, I saw there wasn’t a single word about how I’d talked to him eventually. Neither was there anything about how I’d accepted the other temp worker (who’d had her orientation moment with me last week) for my activity on Tuesday, nor that I showed the new student staff my clay yesterday on his first shift here. This is relevant because it signifies that they’re still only reporting my challenging behavior and not the things I do accomplish in spite of the stress it gives me.

If we were having coffee, I would once again end on a positive note by sharing some small pleasures of the week. First was the BBQ on Thursday. It was good. Next up is a visit to the next town’s market yesterday. My spouse was a little surprised that I didn’t buy olives, as I usually buy those when going to the market. I did buy candy. I also went to the supermarket to buy some ingredients for my smoothies. We also went to that town’s coffee shop run by disabled people and had the most delicious caramel latte.

Speaking of which, I’d tell you that I’ve been having a new interest lately: coffee brewing. I’d really like to be able to create my own coffees. Still need to look into all the necessary supplies, but it should be fun.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (March 29, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this last Saturday of March. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. It’s nearly 8PM as I write this, so no more coffee for me. However, a fellow client’s parents brought us cheese, sausage and maybe other little snacks to go with our soft drinks this evening. I’ll have apple and peach-flavored Dubbelfrisss as usual. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first as usual I’d talk about the weather. It’s been mild most days with daytime temperatures around 15°C, though night-time temps have been around freezing. We had a little rain on Sunday I believe, but I think that was before I woke up. Honestly, I’m pretty sure nature could use some showers.

If we were having coffee, then I’d talk about my physical fitness routine. I am still going strong with my goal of a perfect month on my Apple Watch and, on Thursday, got in over 20K steps again.

If we were having coffee, then however I’d moan about my tremors. I’ve mentioned a couple of times that my right leg trembles horribly sometimes and, usually when it’s been happening, the rest of my body follows suit and starts twitching. Yesterday, it was really bad. My intellectual disability physician usually says it’s most likely influenced by stress, though both of us know that my medication (particularly my antipsychotic) could be causing it too.

With respect to my meds, I’ve often been reacting out of fear of becoming unmanageable and for this reason asking for a very slow taper. My physician has been constantly asking whether my life will become more difficult soon due to for instance more temp workers, because apparently that’d be a reason not to taper further for a while. Now I’ve decided that being manageable is not a reason to put my body through the effects of strong meds. Besides, yesterday I had an aggressive meltdown precisely because I couldn’t cope with the tremors anymore. Now thankfully on Monday my staff will contact the intellectual disability physician, my GP or both.

If we were having coffee, I’d also moan about my shoes. I’d worn one pair of orthopedic shoes for only a week last Thursday and they were already badly damaged. The physical therapist took a look at them and said she thought the orthopedic shoemaker might not have done the last repair properly. I’m not sure that’s the reason they get damaged so quickly. On Friday though, the physical therapist came by and took a video of my walking, which she is going to compare to a video she took about half a year ago. I’ll see her again next Friday and hope she’ll have some ideas.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I’ve been having bad memories of my time in the mental hospital. Like I said above, the intellectual disability physician here constantly talks about the possibility of more temp workers as an excuse not to taper my medication. This was precisely why I was prescribed medication in the first place: I’d become severely irritable because of the large number of temp workers at the time and my psychologist was threatening me with seclusion if I continued to have meltdowns. Similarly, when on the locked ward, I was literally told I’d be locked up in the “quiet room” if I needed more care than they could provide. I realize rationally that this is institutional abuse, but I’ve internalized a lot of all the bullcrap institutions feed me.

If we were having coffee, I’d end on a somewhat positive note by sharing that the behavior specialist finally filled out the forms to get the Center for Consultation and Expertise involved on my case.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (March 8, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this International Women’s Day! I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. It’s 7:30PM, so no more coffee for me. If you’d like a drink though, feel free to grab one and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. For most of the week, it’s been absolutely gorgeous! Today, we even reached 20°C. I know that this isn’t good news, in the sense that it’s way too warm for early March. I do care, but I also realize that I alone (or even all of the Netherlands alone) can’t stop or slow down climate change. For this reason, I’m enjoying the good weather while I can.

If we were having coffee, then I’d brag about all the physical activity I got in. Yesterday, I set a new record on my exercise minutes by exercising (mostly walking) for over three hours. I burned 600 active calories according to my Apple Watch.

Today, I didn’t walk as much, but still went for a few nice walks and I did ride the side-by-side bike. It’s an eBike and my staff had forgotten to check its battery level, so it quit working midway through our ride.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that, on Thursday, my staff and I took a walk around the nearby lake. We also walked this route one day in late January and I remembered a little café along the way had the most delicious caramel pie. My partner looked at the menu on Wednesday and said the caramel pie wasn’t on it. Maybe it was the “pie of the week”. Thankfully, once at the café, my staff asked the waitress whether they still had the caramel pie and they did!

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you I am planning to create a trinket dish out of polymer clay soon. I ordered a cutter for it, which arrived on Monday. Unfortunately, my ceramic tile that I work on, is too small to cut out the shape on. However, one of my staff said she still had ceramic tiles somewhere and, thankfully, these were big enough. Haven’t gotten down to actually creating the trinket dish yet, because the weather’s just too beautiful.

If we were having coffee, I’d also share that, on Tuesday, a staff and I went for a walk around grounds again with the purpose of taking pictures of nature. There were mostly snowdrops and crocuses to be seen.



A few days later though, they’d mostly gone and the first daffodils could be spotted. No pics of those, as it was too sunny when I was out today.

If we were having coffee, I would conclude by saying this week overall was good. I had a few moments when I was in distress over the fact that there were quite a few temp workers, but the staff made sure always to assign me a regular staff. I realize it can’t always be this way and I’m okay with that, but I did tell my staff that my accepting a temp worker once out of necessity doesn’t make them a regular.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (March 1, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this first day of March. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. I’ve just had my last cup of coffee for the day, but if you’re quick, you may be able to enjoy a soft drink. We usually get chips with our soft drinks on weekends, but if I’m correct, the staff ordered meatballs. Let’s have a drink (and a snack) and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. Most days, it was chilly but not rainy. We got the most rain on Thursday, but even then I managed to go out.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that I did achieve the perfect month on my Apple Watch in February. My March challenge is incredibly easy: get in at least 3.63km of walking/running on at least fourteen days this month. I always thought the challenges were based on the previous month’s achievements, but I’m pretty sure I got a lot more steps in during February.

If we were having coffee, I’d report that I’ve been struggling again. This led to a number of arguments between me and the staff. Particularly, it frustrates me to no end that some staff are much more likely to react angrily to my irritability than others. As a result, I don’t accept gestures indicating they support me from these staff. Like, if you’ve first been telling me off, I won’t accept it when you offer me comfort. Unfortunately, my assigned staff claims this differing treatment is just how it is and she says it’s because I don’t accept the same treatment from everyone. This came across as if she was holding me responsible for the different approaches.

If we were having coffee, I’d also share that I’ve been frustrated with my day schedule and particularly the lack of clarity in it. I particularly don’t like the fact that, each time, I’ll have to choose an activity out of fifteen or so options. Thankfully, I was able to turn my frustration around today and decide that, on Monday, I’m going to the next town to buy groceries and, on Tuesday, I’m going to cook dinner for the home.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that part of my struggle is the extreme discrepancy between my intelligence and my emotional functioning. I’m said to function emotionally at a level comparable to a child under 18 months of age in most respects, but my IQ is above-average. Moreover, I happen to have an interest in psychology and social work. As a result, I, for example, know more about the theory of care and support than most of my staff, but I can’t apply it to my own situation and not just because I’m the client.

Like, when I’m in a good place mentally, I sometimes find myself pointing out ways staff are asking too much of me emotionally, but precisely because I can say so, I’m judged not to need the support I need.

If we were having coffee, I would however also share that I still experience moments of joy. For example, on Monday, a new student staff was being introduced to my activities and we created a unicorn (of course) out of polymer clay. This time, because the unicorn was rather fat and the staff had placed the front legs far apart, I chose to add a heart to its belly. I also decorated its back with rhinestones. Two pictures below, because my staff couldn’t capture both the heart and the rhinestones in one.


If we were having coffee, lastly I’d tell you that I struggle with self-criticism and this also leads me towards less creativity. I, however, overcame the feeling that I “should be better” sometime on Tuesday when I created a rather simple bracelet. It was just beads stringed onto elastic wire. However, looking at my comment about emotional development, I sincerely believe I did a pretty awesome job, since a toddler can’t do this at all.

Sorry for the rambly post. I’m still feeling hazy after another meltdown. By the way, no meatballs for our evening treat, as somehow they’d disappeared.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (February 22, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare once again. It’s almost 10:30PM here, so no coffee for me. Since this is a virtual get-together, you’re free to grab your own beverage of choice. Let’s have a drink and let’s chat.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s been all over the place with freezing night-time temps and daytime highs hardly above freezing early in the week, then a daytime high of 16°C yesterday. Today the daytime high was 12°C, which is still quite warm for late February. Unfortunately, it was raining most of the day today.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that this week was a mixed bag mental health-wise. I’ve mostly been quite tired, but the bloodwork I had done on Monday came back all clear. I wish there was something simple that could explain my daytime tiredness, but I’m pretty sure that if I pressure the doctor to do more testing, they’ll just say I shouldn’t give in to fatigue, as I was told the last few times (many years ago) that I complained of being too tired.

Yesterday was a good day, but today I felt a bit irritable and overloaded.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I spent a lot of time early in the week switching web browsers. Somehow, with the latest update, Edge for iOS is pretty much impossible to use for me. Whether this is an actual bug in its accessibility with VoiceOver or it’s just that things have been switched around like crazy and I’m not tech savvy enough for it anymore, I don’t know. I tried getting the freakin’ Copilot (Microsoft’s AI) that was constantly in my way to disappear, but it wouldn’t.

So I decided to leave Edge behind altogether and switch browsers, because I don’t like using one browser on my iPhone and another on PC. I finally settled on Chrome and, though I’m still figuring things out, mostly it works okay.

If we were having coffee, I’d then tell you that a (now former) staff came to say goodbye on Monday. I gave her the “bull in a china shop”, ie. the polymer clay elephant in a mug I’d created last week. She loves unicorns and elephants, but she already had a unicorn.

This time around, I didn’t get a proper description from the Be My Eyes app, because it judged the mug to be its body and the letter J (for the staff’s first name) to be its tail.

If we were having coffee, I’d then tell you all I had a good day yesterday. I walked a lot, but also visited the next town’s market. I had originally been uncertain as to whether I wanted fried fish (or shrimp really) because of it being quite a high-calorie, high-fat food. I eventually said “screw it!” and considered yesterday a total cheat day. I, after all, also had fried chicken for dinner. Granted, other than that I only had a salad.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share I do really need to lose weight though. I’m about 2kg overweight, which doesn’t seem like a lot given that I used to be 20kg heavier than I am now. However, the “screw it!” thoughts are pretty commonplace especially given the current state of the world. For example, my unhealthy voice is telling me it’s not a problem if I risk getting a heart attack ten years from now because, for all we know, the world may’ve gone up in smoke by then anyway. I, thankfully, do still have more tangible reasons to lose weight or at least not gain any. Like, I still want to be able to wear my favorite pants.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share that I am still going strong meeting my movement goal on my Apple Watch each day this month. I’m really hoping for the perfect month award. That being said, I’m not overcompensating for my having indulged in too many “cheat” foods. Not that I believe in cheat foods anyway, since there are no bad foods, just less healthy habits. And overexercising can be a less healthy habit too, as my dietitian reminded me on Wednesday. Not that I’ve ever truly done that, honestly. The bottom line though is that I’m not engaging in compulsive eating habits or exercise. I feel things might need to be a little more controlled, but I’m not sure how to do this.

Today’s Accomplishments (February 15, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Over the past few weeks, all I seem to have done is hang out on social media, talk randomly with my staff and lie in bed. That isn’t entirely true, since I’m still managing to close all of my activity rings on my Apple Watch everyday this month. However, this month so far feels horribly unproductive. I think in part this may be my mindset, so to turn the tide, today I’m once again listing my accomplishments for the day.

1. Showered even though it wasn’t one of my designated shower days. Like I said in my post on spoon theory, showering costs me a lot of energy, so it’s actually quite an accomplishment that I did it on a day I wasn’t required to.

2. Went for an hour-long walk. This isn’t a huge achievement, as I walk most days, but still, I shouldn’t downplay it either.

3. Completed the friends quest with my partner on Duolingo with me having done only slightly less than my spouse. The quest was to complete 50 lessons with 90% accuracy. The accuracy isn’t the problem for me, as I’m doing intermediate English and early B2 is still quite easy. However, over the past few weeks I’d only done a lesson or two a day.

4. Created a “bull in a china shop”, as I call them, out of polymer clay. It’s an elephant that sits on top of a cup. I had been planning to make it for a few days, but always procrastinated on it even though it turned out I could finish the thing in half an hour. No picture yet, as it still needs to have its eyes painted.

5. Wrote a few thoughtful (if I can say so myself) comments on Reddit. I go there everyday now that Facebook is no longer safe, but I try to actually have something meaningful to say too.

6. Wrote this blog post. Does that count? Yes, if I say so, it does and it’s probably the greatest achievement of the day given I had hardly come on WP over the past few weeks.