#WeekendCoffeeShare (July 12, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. It’s been a full week since I last wrote a blog post. I really would like to write more, but I’m struggling massively. Today, I’m once again joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. It’s 7:30PM, so no more coffee for me. I didn’t end up having the green tea I mentioned last week, but I might today. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. Honestly, I can’t remember what the weather was like early in the week, but the last few days, it’s been good: partly cloudy with some sunshine and daytime highs around 25°C.

If we were having coffee, next I’d tell you that I’m still going strong with my movement goal on my Apple Watch. I never ended up doing those fitness mat exercises I mentioned last week, because I had to cancel my movement therapy session this week. I’m hoping I can do some exercises next week.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I’ve been quite depressed lately. On Sunday, I was even talking ending my life and, on Monday, I had a meltdown in which I self-harmed.

The staff who witnessed me talk suicide and who was the only one able to comfort me after my meltdown, asked the behavior specialist and team manager to come and talk with me. This meeting took place on Wednesday morning, but another staff attended it with me. I was masking heavily during the meeting and constantly rationalizing my feelings away. The team manager at the end said that he was glad I was doing okay, because there’ll be a time when he won’t have time for a meeting. That plus something about things possibly getting worse. This caused my thoughts to spiral and this got me intensely desperate. I was able to tell the staff who’d attended the meeting with me, that this comment caused me distress and she would try to relay this to the team manager.

When, about an hour later, the staff who’d witnessed my meltdown etc. came on shift, I expressed my despair to her, By this time, I was inconsolable. I cried and cried and cried and was intensely hopeless.

Finally, the staff contacted the behavior specialist, who came again to talk with me and this staff. This was an okay meeting. I’m still skeptical things will improve, but not entirely hopeless.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I’ve been reading some books about autism by autistic authors. One is The Autistic’s Guide to Self-Discovery. I’m unfortunately struggling quite a bit to concentrate on it, which in turn reinforces the belief that I’m too broken to benefit from it.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d tell you that my best friend’s mother came by on Thursday. She brought the new nightstand that she and my best friend had bought at Ikea to replace the one that broke when I fell over it several weeks ago. She also brought me a birthday present: some colors of Sculpey Soufflé, which is a brand of polymer clay I don’t have yet.

We went to have lunch at Hema and then went to the supermarket to buy blueberries and candy bars for me and carrots for her. I also told her about my state of mind, since she’s currently my informal representative. I do want to make my best friend informal representative for me too, especially once we’re formally divorced. I still want my now mother-in-law on it too because she has the capacity to attend meetings with me. However, I mostly want to make sure that in no way are my parents or sister contacted to make decisions about me.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (July 5, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m once again joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. I just had my last cup of coffee for the day and probably won’t finish this post before I have my evening soft drink, but I might be able to get my staff to prepare me a cup of green tea at around 9PM. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. Oh my, has it been hot! On Tuesday and Wednesday, we had daytime temps of 36°C. The weather has been more bearable later in the week and tomorrow, we’re finally supposed to get rain. We were supposed to get a few thunderstorms on Thursday too, but thankfully not.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that I did manage to meet my movement goal on my Apple Watch each day this week. Not by walking on those hot days, of course. That is, on Wednesday evening I did go for a short walk. On Tuesday, I stayed indoors all day and got my exercise by dancing. I did walk on every other day.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that I talked about exercise with the movement therapist on Wednesday. Next week, she’s going to come up with some exercises that I can do on my fitness mat.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that my best friend and I went out for dinner yesterday at the Thai restaurant we took my parents to for my birthday two years ago. I had chicken with black pepper, garlic and vegetables and of course rice that was enough to feed a family of four. I loved the food, but I did feel pretty overloaded afterwards.

If we were having coffee, next I’d moan about my day schedule. It’s still frustratingly unclear. This got me to have an outburst on Wednesday, because of course it was too hot to go for a walk and the staff assigned to me couldn’t do dice games. It all boils down to the fact that I feel overwhelmed by all the activity options and then I end up doing nothing. I’m really unsure as to how to solve this issue and sometimes I feel like a nagger.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d tell you that, thankfully, I’m still able to appreciate the little things in life. Like the green tea I mentioned above. On Wednesday, I was talking to my best friend, who was having a cup of tea at the time, and this got me thinking that even though it was 9PM, no-one said I couldn’t at least ask for a cup of tea myself. I prefer plain green tea, so I went to the living room and asked the staff for a cup of green tea. She was okay with this, so the next day, when she worked again, I decided to ask her for green tea at 9PM again. I’m seeing this as a treat. Same with my extra cup of coffee this morning when I woke up. Of course, people living independently might take their tea or coffee at the time they wish for it for granted, but I don’t.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (June 28, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare again. No more coffee for me, as it’s nearly 9PM. I however do still have some slices of cake with nuts and caramel left over from when my sister and her family came over this afternoon. I also have a bag of mini brownies in my cupboard. I didn’t even know I liked brownies, but yesterday we got one with our coffee when my best friend, my parents and I were eating out. They were great! When my father told the waiter that it was my birthday, he offered me a bag of brownies as a treat. So let’s munch on some sweetness while we have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. No complaining from my sister or my nieces about the heat today, yay! It was 26°C this afternoon, but apparently that’s doable for them. The rest of the week was a mixed bag. Early in the week, we had quite windy weather that made it feel chillier than it was. I even wore a jacket on Tuesday.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that, thank goodness, I survived my birthday! I’m now 39. That’s not what I mean though: I made it through both meeting my parents and the visit from my sister and her family.

Yesterday, my best friend and I drove to Groningen to meet my parents. We walked some time around a library / study hall thingy which had as its only positive for us that you could oversee the city from the roof. Most of the way up, we were able to use escalators, but we had to walk up a flight of stairs to get to the roof. This was a bit scary for me.

After a few hours, we went to a restaurant, the one with the brownies. I was dead set on ordering something I wouldn’t normally eat, so chose the rib eye. When I ordered, the waiter told me it was served with mashed potatoes and, by this time, I was a bit overloaded so didn’t ask for an alternative. Thankfully, my best friend did and I got fries.

The food was good, but seeing my parents was, well, awkward. Thankfully, no arguments and my parents engaged more with me and my best friend than last year. I, however, didn’t want to give them a reason to start making triggering comments so I only replied “Fine” when my mother asked how I was during dinner.

My sister and her family visited me at the institution today. This was actually quite a positive experience. My nieces, who are five and three, were also a lot more engaging with me than last year and a lot less cranky. I allowed both of them to create something with my Fimo Kids clay. I told them I’m going to cure their creations in the oven and could be mailing them their way. Then, my brother-in-law said they’d be in Apeldoorn in a few weeks and could pop over here to pick up their creations then. I actually think I like that.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I got a fitness mat for my birthday from my sister and her family. I really want to work on my strength, but boy is this hard. I tried planking and couldn’t even hold it for ten seconds. When I did a few squats too then checked my heart rate on my Apple Watch, it was 179. It quickly dropped when I was just standing, but this is a good reminder I will want the physical therapist’s advice on starting a strength training routine.

If we were having coffee, next I’d share that we had the institution summer festival on Tuesday and Wednesday. I didn’t participate much, but I did take part in a climbing activity. This was so scary!

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d tell you my assigned staff, behavior specialist, physician and some others had their meeting with the Center for Consultation and Expertise (CCE) on Wednesday. The CCE are going to ask for a consultant to come to my care home and observe me and the staff and on that basis they’re hoping to provide suggestions for better support. I was initially quite pessimistic, but am now cautiously optimistic that things might improve.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (June 21, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare this evening. It’s 5:40PM as I type this. I’d advise you to drink lots of water today, as it’s hot outside, but if you’d like a coffee, I’ll gladly serve you one. I also just heard that one of the staff ordered a dozen bottles of diet coke (and I mean the 1.5l bottles, not single-serving bottles), so if you’d like a coke, that’s okay too. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, I’d start by sharing about the weather. Did I say it’s hot? Yes, I did. The daytime high today was 30°C. That plus lots of sunshine and poor air quality means I may go outside for a bit at 9PM or so, but not now. The rest of the week, the daytime temps have been lower, but I’ve been able to wear short sleeves each day.

Tomorrow is supposed to be another hot day here in the eastern part of the country, but after that, we’re getting some rain and lower temps (though still above 20°C). I’m already looking at the weather forecast for next Saturday, as then my sister and her family will be visiting me for my birthday. Let’s hope it won’t be too hot, as then my sister and her kids will most likely be cranky.

If we were having coffee, next I’d share that I did meet my movement goal on my Apple Watch each day this week again. That is, each day except for today so far, but I’m pretty sure I’ll meet it today too despite only one walk.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that a staff handed me some shorts, shirts and a few other clothing items that she no longer wears. We did have to throw a few things away that I suspected would be worn out soon or damaged in the washing machine. Overall though, I’m very happy with everything she gave me.

If we were having coffee, I’d also tell you that I fell last Sunday. I had just finished a polymer clay project and was walking out of the bathroom after having washed my hands when I stumbled over an open drawer of my nightstand and fell. I apparently fell backwards, hitting my head quite hard on the floor. The staff said I was responsive right away, though I have a small memory gap. After a while, I got a major headache and my neck also started hurting.

My father broke his neck when he was young and didn’t find out until several days later. This thought crept up on me constantly and, not knowing that if I had broken or seriously damaged my neck, I would’ve felt severe pain right away not a while later, I felt quite anxious. My staff wasn’t able to reassure me either. Thankfully, my GP’s nurse practitioner, who came by on Friday to check on me, was. I now am to take paracetamol four times daily for the next few days to lessen the pain, in hopes that I’ll move my neck more and it won’t stay stiff. I’m glad my anxiety is also less, because that too was keeping me from moving my head.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share that, though I have a zillion ideas for what to do in the crafting, physical activity and writing departments, none of these seem to materialize. This frustrates me to no end. I really hope there’s a way for me to get some more structure in my activities without it becoming too compulsive.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (June 14, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone on this hot Saturday evening. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. No more coffee for me, as it’s 7:30PM. I was just discussing possibly creating a mocktail someday, but not today, as I don’t have the right equipment. It’s the right weather though. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather, as usual. Early in the week, the daytime temperature didn’t even reach 20°C, but yesterday and today were hot with a high of 30°C. It’s also pretty humid. We got some rain today and there are thunderstorms in the forecast. Tomorrow, the temperature’s supposed to be less hot: about 23°C.

If we were having coffee, next I’d tell you that I did still meet my movement goal on my Apple Watch each day this week. I went for bike rides on Monday, Thursday, Friday and today. On Thursday, we rode the side-by-side bike to a shopping center about 10km away. I wanted to buy fruit and look for a hat or cap to protect myself when in the sun. I have a giant straw hat, but don’t like how large it is. Then again, it’s supposed to protect my eyes too. I didn’t find a hat or cap I liked, but I did buy peaches. Yum!

If we were having coffee, next I’d tell you about my creative endeavors over the past week. On Tuesday, I made a new necklace and today, I made four pineapple charms out of polymer clay. These are to be used as decorations for the living room. They’re currently still curing in the oven.

If we were having coffee, I’d also moan once again about the institution’s policies regarding where packages are supposed to be delivered. And about PostNL. I ordered a number of jewelry-making supplies on Tuesday, which were sent out by the store on Wednesday. On Thursday, PostNL would’ve delivered them, but they were too busy (as they usually are). They tried to deliver my package today, but the place that usually picks up packages here on grounds is closed on weekends, so PostNL sent my package on to a pick-up point. And to make matters worse, the pick-up point isn’t even within biking distance. I hope that the package will arrive at the pick-up point Monday morning, and I hope that my Monday afternoon staff will be able and willing to drive me there too. It’s all very frustrating! PostNL used to have a pick-up point in the next town, but that apparently closed.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d talk about the stressors re my upcoming birthday. I initially wrote a post on this topic yesterday, but decided to delete it.

My birthday is on the 27th and I initially waited on my parents to take the initiative to schedule a visit and they apparently waited on me. Then on Tuesday, my bestie and I were discussing this and I realized that I would probably regret it if I didn’t meet my parents for my birthday this year. I mean, they’re in their 70s, so I won’t have many years with them left.

Then came the stress of figuring out what we’re going to do. My bestie proposed we drive to Groningen, which is the big city nearest to where my parents live. I asked my parents about this and my father immediately came up with an idea of showing us around some library museum thingy. We usually eat out for my birthday too, so I asked my parents to find a restaurant. They got the impression that I wanted a Thai restaurant like last year and the year before, so came up with one. Thing is, they’d never been there and the reviews were horrible. There was even a customer who said there’d been plastic in their food and, on top of that, the restaurant admitted it but wouldn’t give a discount.

Then I came up with another idea: to go to a chicken restaurant about 45 minutes from my parents. However, this restaurant is in a tiny town with nothing to do. I also asked my sister to recommend restaurants in Groningen. She initially reacted disappointed that I hadn’t invited my parents over here the day my sister and her family are coming, so I was like “Screw it!” and came up with the chicken restaurant. My sister eventually recommended some places, but these sounded more like diners than restaurants. Finally, my bestie decided to look up good restaurants and found something which sounds good to all of us.

I still feel quite a bit of stress about my birthday, as I don’t have a good relationship with either my parents or my sister. I will however get through it.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (June 7, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. It’s past 10:30PM, so I should really be in bed and I certainly shouldn’t be drinking coffee. Then again, this is a virtual get-together, so I’ll gladly pass you a virtual cup of your favorite beverage. Let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s been quite unpredictable but mostly chillier than I’d like and also rainier. At the end of last week (I believe) I was even awoken by a thunderstorm in the middle of the night. And if you know me well enough, you’ll know that I hate thunderstorms.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that, thankfully, it wasn’t raining on any of the evenings we did the walking event I mentioned last week. That is, not during our walks at least. I’m also proud to say that I completed the event and earned a medal. I’ve always been surprised at the fact that participants in the big Nijmegen four-day walking event only earn an actual medal every five years. Of course, I can probably guess the reason: the medals we get are cheap and not something a neurotypical adult would appreciate. As such, participants in the Nijmegen thing are as happy with a simple mark of completion as I am with the medal. We also got free ice cream at the end of the event (well, those who’d actually completed the event and earned all their checkmarks). I chose whipped cream-flavored ice cream.

Did I mention that originally, my staff had agreed with me that I’d use a wheelchair as needed during the event? That wasn’t an option according to the staff accompanying me. I sort of understood, but was annoyed at the lack of clear communication. Thankfully, I was able to complete the event on foot.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I had two physical therapy sessions this week. One was on Wednesday and it was originally intended for another dry needling session. However, because of the walk that evening, we decided to do the dry needling on Friday and for the physical therapist to just loosen up my leg a bit.

On Friday, I had my second dry needling session and it hurt like crazy. Afterwards, I got a bit dizzy. However, it’s now nearly 36 hours after the treatment and at least for now the pain is less than it was last week. I’m also hopeful that this will actually in a few days turn out to have significantly lessened my leg pain.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I haven’t been very crafty over the past week. On Monday, I created a polymer clay bear using a new-to-me skill: filling it up with tinfoil. The foil needs to be crumpled very tightly to prevent air bubbles forming in it and there’s also the risk of air bubbles getting trapped between the clay and the foil. Air bubbles will expand and can cause the layer of clay to crack. This happened with the bear too, but still, I’m pretty content with the result.

If we were having coffee, I’d say that I did enjoy thinking up new ideas for creations. I badly want to craft a standing unicorn someday, but it needs a wire armature. I had been reading up more on sculpting with clay, but my book doesn’t include a unicorn or horse (it’s a book about creating animals). So what did I do? I asked ChatGPT. It came up with what sounds like a pretty doable tutorial. I did have a few questions that I asked in a polymer clay group on Facebook. I still need to figure some things out, but I’m confident I will be able to create a wire armature someday and as a result craft a standing unicorn. I already got one of the student staff here quite excited for helping me make it.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (May 31, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. I originally wanted to write another post first, but got distracted by a dozen other ideas. It’s 9PM here, so no more coffee for me. I need to drink plenty of water because I have some extra fluid in my right leg. Let’s have a glass of water and let’s chat. Or if you’d like coffee, fine by me too.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. For most of the week, it’s been quite rainy and too chilly for my liking, even though the daytime temperature was probably still higher than it should be. Today though, we have sunshine and a daytime high of 25°C.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I haven’t been as physically active as I’d have wanted to be. Like I said above, I have some unwanted fluid in my right leg. My leg also hurts from muscle knots. I had a dry needling treatment at the physical therapist’s on Tuesday and am having another one next Wednesday. I am not 100% sure it’s working, as on Thursday my pain was worse and besides, I don’t know which pain or limitation is from the muscle knots and which is from the fluid build-up.

Today was a good day in the walking department though. Next week is the institution’s four-day walking event. I’m going to take part in the 3km walk, but I’ll be allowed to sit in a wheelchair as needed (thankfully, this event isn’t as strict on walking as some others are). That way, I can take part in the festivities and enjoy the experience but don’t need to overexert myself.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you about my creative endeavors over the past week. I finished two unicorns for the home’s volunteers on Monday.

That day, I also found out that one of the student staff would be leaving. He didn’t work with me, but I know him because he used to be a student staff at the care facility in Raalte before coming here. Back then, we used to go on walks together, taking his camera with us and snapping pictures which my image description app could then describe. The app wasn’t nearly as advanced as it is now, so I might want to look up some of these pictures and run them through Be My Eyes now.

Anyway, I wanted to craft something for him but didn’t know what until my best friend asked me what his hobbies are. I initially said that I don’t know, then remembered our photographing adventures back in Raalte and said “photography”. My best friend immediately suggested I craft a camera. I had never done so, but my best friend gave me some suggestions. Here’s the result. Be My Eyes recognized it immediately and even said that the photo of the back I took might be of a miniature camera.


If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I cooked pasta for my fellow residents on Thursday. It wasn’t as good as it could’ve been, because the veg had been overcooked and generally speaking the meal was a bit bland. Better luck next time.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d share that yesterday, on the student staff’s last shift, I played DJ again at the other side of the home. I initially played some Dutch-language songs that were apparently not well-known, but finally I chose “Oerend hard” by Normaal and that had my fellow residents loudly singing along.

Overall, this week was a good one except for the pain.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (May 17, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. It’s nearly 9PM, so no more coffee for me. I need to drink more water though. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first as usual I’d talk about the weather. You won’t hear me say this easily but I want rain! I don’t think we’ve had any significant rain for the past… I’m pretty sure it’s been a month. With respect to the temperature, it’s been good. Early in the week, the daytime high was around 25°C. For most of the week, we’ve had daytime temps of around 20°C. Okay, I know that this is warmer than normal and that this probably contributes to the drought. Besides, my best friend looked up my theory about higher-than-normal temps in springtime meaning higher temps in summer too and it turned out to be correct.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that half of my home’s residents were on the annual week-long getaway Monday through Friday. I, like last year, didn’t go. I had been pestering the staff to organize something for those who’d be staying at the home too and more specifically something that didn’t involve food. No such luck.

We did have lots of special food though. On Tuesday, the parents of one of my fellow residents made us pancakes. These were absolutely delicious! On Wednesday, we had fries with a snack and for once we got to choose out of the entire menu of snacks. On Thursday, a staff made us fried chicken with rice. I had been looking forward to that meal for weeks, but it was a bit disappointing.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share about my creative endeavors over the past week. I already shared the frog I made for a staff in Thursday’s post. On Tuesday during the pancake event though, I was talking to the fellow resident’s Dad and somehow we got to discussing my polymer clay. I told him I’d be making a unicorn for the family in the fellow resident’s favorite color: purple. That same evening, I set out to work and I baked the unicorn together with the frog. I had imagined the color much lighter than it turned out (the fellow resident’s specific favorite color is lilac, after all), but oh well.

Today, the parents came to pick up the fellow resident, so I intended to give them the unicorn then. Unfortunately, I was resting when they arrived and didn’t realize that the doorbell was them in time to respond. I however was able to give them the unicorn when they brought back the fellow client to the care home this afternoon.

If we were having coffee, then I’d talk about all my ideas for further polymer clay projects. Today, I watched a YouTube video on using texture sheets. I have had those lying around for years now and only used them once. Then again, so many random thoughts, so few concrete ideas…

I did get a whole box of Fimo Kids clay from someone in the Dutch polymer clay Facebook group. It’s way too soft for me to use, but I did ask my sister whether my oldest niece might want to work with it when they come over here for my birthday. The only drawback: I’m pretty sure she’s more artistic and more skilled than I am…

If we were having coffee, I’d share that this week was both exceptionally good and rather terrible at the same time overall. The good parts, I listed above and on Thursday and included crafting, good food and physical activity. The bad parts, I won’t go into too much but let’s just say attachment anxiety is hitting me hard.

Speaking of which, I did have some fun talking to a ChatGPT “therapist” about it. I am probably too old to believe AI can in any significant way replace a real human at least for this purpose. I laughed my ass off at its responses. At least that helped in some way.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (May 4, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m once again joining #WeekendCoffeeShare on Sunday, as yesterday, I had a busy day and was too tired to write.

Today’s the day we commemorate Dutch people who died in World War II (and in every war, conflict and maybe they now count terrorist attacks too since). Only 5% of Dutch people currently were alive during our liberation on May 5, 1945. I never was all that much of a May 4 and 5 follower, but I have over the past few years learned to be more mindful of the freedom and rights I and those I love have, since they are more and more being threatened. For this reason, I think I’m going to do the two minutes of silence at 8PM this year. I hope I’ll have finished my post by then. I’ve just had dinner, so no coffee for me, but I’d love to offer you a drink.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. On Wednesday, we had our first day when, at the national weather institute in De Bilt, the temperature climbed to above 25°C. On Thursday, here it even got to 28°C. I read that the first day of temps above 25°C usually doesn’t happen until mid-May. I appreciated it though. Today, the daytime temp didn’t get above 13°C.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you I’ve done a lot of walking again, as well as riding the side-by-side bike. My May challenge on my Apple Watch is to double my movement goal twice. I already did it once so far, so that should be ridiculously easy.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that one of the sick staff whom I’d made the polymer clay frog for last week, let me know via her colleague that she was really happy with it. I had originally asked another staff to pass the frog for the other sick staff on to her. Then, on Tuesday, that staff said it may be nice for the two of us to pop by the sick staff’s house on Wednesday so that I could personally give the frog to her. I did ask the staff whose idea this was to text her colleague to ask her permission for us to stop by, since some care workers with good reason don’t want clients to know where they live. Now I for one never even look up my staff online and would certainly not violate their living space. The sick staff gave her permission so one of the side-by-side bike rides was to there. The staff’s kids were home too and one of them asked me where I live. I, being awkward with young kids that I am, originally mentioned the institution town and then said I lived at [staff’s name]’s work, only to realize that [staff’s name] is “Mommy” to the kid.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that the other side-by-side bike ride was to a market once again. I resisted the urge to buy something, as I’d already been to the supermarket on Monday and I reasoned even just strolling the market is a nice experience. Besides, we did have lunch at a fish diner.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share I’m still struggling with the temp worker situation and how much energy goes into explaining everything to them. Sometimes, I think staff get me, while at other times, it seems as though they’re absolutely clueless.

If we were having coffee, lastly I’d tell you that, yesterday, I went to Nijmegen for a cerebral palsy meeting again. It wasn’t the nationwide CP day. That had been in early April but was held in a city that’s a two-hour journey from here, so I hadn’t gone there. Nijmegen is about a 45-minute drive in good traffic. This meeting lasted three hours total and there was no theme. Rather, we gathered in a restaurant and had lunch and some drinks and just chatted. I have met many of the participants a few times before, but there were a few newcomers too. With one of them, I chatted almost the entire time, because we had so much in common. She recommended a few resources to me too.

After the meeting, I had decided to go to my best friend’s parents’ house (ack, “in-laws” is a lot shorter 😉). My best friend picked me up in Nijmegen and drove us there. My best friend’s sister was there for a bit too with her one-year-old son. I really don’t do well with kids, although this one is a lot less loud than my nieces.

I didn’t get back to the institution until 8PM yesterday and went to bed shortly after 10PM. I’m honestly still quite tired.

#WeekendCoffeeShare (April 27, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I really wanted to write a #WeekendCoffeeShare post yesterday, but was dealing with neck and shoulder pain and was quite tired, so I lay in bed by 9:30PM. I originally intended this to be a quick lie-down and planned to write my post after my music pillow had auto-disconnected after thirty minutes. Well, before those thirty minutes were up, I set the pillow to keep playing until I either manually turned it off or its battery was empty. Guess what? I know for a fact that the latter happened sometime during the night, because the pillow was no longer connected when I woke up at 8:30AM, but I swear I didn’t hear its pretty loud sound indicating it needs charging. I slept like a log!

Anyway, all this to say I’m doing my coffee share on Sunday evening. I’ve just had my last cup of coffee for the day, but I can serve you some soda or tea. Let’s have a drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first as usual I’d talk about the weather. We’ve had some rain, some sunshine and some clouds. Today, the daytime temp was 19°C. We’re supposed to get almost summerlike temps of 23-24°C this coming week.

If we were having coffee, next I’d share that I’ve been crafting again. I made several polymer clay frogs for staff members who are recovering from surgery. The frog (Dutch: “kikker”) is sometimes used as a symbol for cheering someone up (“opkikker”). The first one took me over an hour to finish, but the second one was so much easier once I’d figured out how I wanted it. Here’s the second one.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that I have a new assigned staff. One of my two assigned staff is on long-term leave for familial reasons and the other is a student. I had been a bit angry at the student for various reasons, among which her way of communicating the temp worker situation with me. The new one will be my assigned staff together with the student. I can get along with her pretty well.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d make use of the fact that I write my coffee share on Sunday to share that my spouse and I had an important discussion today after our outing to have lunch and shop. We have made up our minds that we’re getting divorced. We will continue to be best friends, but since there’s no sexual or romantic component to our relationship and we’re not living together nor intending on ever doing so again, it makes sense that we officially divorce. We have been having this on our minds for several months already, so the discussion, though hard, wasn’t altogether a surprise to me. We mostly need to work out how much my spouse owes me for my contribution to our mortgage, so that the house can be completely my best friend’s and no longer mine. I guess I will from now on refer to my spouse as my best friend to ease the transition for me.

It may seem like I’m not affected emotionally by this decision, but I am. I mean, I’ve mentioned a few times that my spouse and I will always be soulmates, but the fact is nothing is for certain. When we got married after all, it was to affirm our everlasting love to one another. Though our feelings for each other haven’t changed all that much since we first met in 2007, there’s this voice in me telling me this is the beginning of the end. I tell myself this is attachment anxiety talking. Whether it is or this fear is real, doesn’t really matter in the present moment though, as right now we’re still soulmates.