Ten Things I Love About Myself

Posted on by Astrid

I love journaling prompts and positive challenges. These are combined into the book 200+ Journal Prompts for the Mind, Body and Soul by Riley Reigns. One of her prompts on the topic of self-love is to list ten things you love about yourself. Of course, it shouldn’t require a book of journaling prompts to come up with this idea, but oh well. I am going to take this challenge today and try to take it to the next level by challenging myself not to follow each statement with a “but…”. Here goes.

1. My sense of humor. I particularly love wordplay and verbal jokes, most with a dark theme. I remember, when I was first admitted to the psych hospital, cracking jokes about the difference between the patients and staff in a mental ward (“the patients get better and leave”). I mean, literally during my first days.

2. My intelligence and craving for knowledge. I love to collect facts and information and this I consider a true asset.

3. My perseverance. I am not one to easily give in and ask for help before having tried something myself first. Particularly when I’ve set my mind on accomplishing something, I’ll really go for it. I can also really focus my mind on a topic of my interest.

4. My honesty. I am open-minded, but if I don’t like something, I’ll be truthful about it. I don’t sugarcoat my opinions.

5. My open-mindedness. I consider myself slightly left-leaning politically and a progressive Christian, but am open to people from all walks of life. Even though I am bluntly honest sometimes, I respect everyone who respects other humans.

6. My sensitivity. I am easily touched by the beauty and sadness around me. This allows me to connect to others on a deeper level than I would otherwise be able to and to experience the world more richly.

7. My ability to express myself. I find that both creatively and verbally, I am able to be very open about my experiences and inner world.

8. My generosity. I am not sure that’s the right word. What I mean is the fact that I find joy in making my own gifts for people and especially thinking about what they’ll enjoy. I love it when I can make them smile.

9. My strong-willedness. This allows me to stand up for what I believe in and for what I want even if it is outside of the norm.

10. My resilience. Even though I’m prone to depression, I always find a will to continue fighting.

What do you love about yourself?

Linking up with #LifeThisWeek and Hello Monday.

Autistic Pride Day 2019: Reasons I’m Proud of Myself

Posted on by Astrid

It’s June 18, which means it’s Autistic Pride Day. I have known this for years, but didn’t realize it today until I saw another blogger share about it just about an hour ago. I don’t really know what to write about for today. I could list positive traits of autism, but others have probably already shared those. Besides, I don’t pride myself on my autism, despite not seeing it as a negative thing. I am proud of myself just for who I am. For this reason, I am going to list some reasons I’m proud of myself. Autism, after all, is part of who I am.

1. I am self-aware. I had a meeting today with a care consultant for a possible living facility for me. I was quite able to articulate my needs and strengths. I am increasingly aware of those.

2. I am resilient. Some people don’t think so, as I’ve had multiple mental health crises. However, I always veer back up.

3. I am determined. I don’t let others tell me what’s best for me. Again, this isn’t always seen as a positive characteristic, but so what? I think these people are just trying to get me to be submissive to their ideas of what I should be.

4. I am honest. I can be blunt, but I always speak my mind.

5. I am open to new experiences. This may contradict some common autism stereotypes. In fact, when I first heard of autism, it was explained to me as “being afraid of new things”. I am not.

6. I am affectionate. I do display affection in my own, autistic way, but I can definitely show love and affection for my husband and others I care about.

7. I am creative. Not in the sense that I can tell imaginative stories – my fiction has a horrible lack of imaginativeness to it -, but I think outside of the box.

8. I can be focused. That is, if something grabs my attention, I can completely hyperfocus on it. This can be a negative characteristic, but it definitely helped me during my school years and helps me focus on what I like now.

What are some reasons you are proud of yourself?

Confessions of a New Mummy

Sorry Not Sorry

Posted on by Astrid

Today I am not sorry I suffer with mental health issues. I didn’t choose them, no matter what some people think. I don’t necessarily have a bad attitude – and when I do, it has nothing to do with my mental illnesses.

Today, I’m not sorry I am a trauma survivor. I didn’t choose to endure the traumas I endured. These traumas and the resulting mental health symptoms do not make me weak. They do not make me not resilient. People can be resilient and suffer from mental health issues or trauma-related symptoms nonetheless.

Some people choose to believe that the fact that I don’t live up to my intellectual potential, means I’m not resilient. They reason that, if I were persistent enough, I would have finished university and had a job by now. They also judge my lack of persistence in these areas as a sign of a bad attitude.

Today, I’m not sorry I live with multiple disabilities. I don’t care whether you consider these disabilities valid or not. The people who judge me, think I use my disabilities as an excuse not to fulfill their expectations of me. They don’t realize that it’s my life and I have absolutely zero obligation to fulfill their dreams for me. No, not even when these people are my parents. I have no obligation to prove I am worthy of life.

People who don’t know me well commonly assume I must be very resilient for the mere fact that I’m alive. I didn’t use to like this attitude either, but then I read today’s post by carol anne, which inspired this post. Both of us were born prematurely. Both of us suffer with lifelong disabilities as a result. Both of us endured childhood trauma. Doesn’t the fact that we survived and haven’t succumbed, mean we’re pretty resilient? I think it does. We’re badass!