Weekly Gratitude List (August 10, 2018) #TToT

Posted on by Astrid

It’s Friday again. This week has flown by! It was really a mixed bag in terms of how I’ve felt. Here are the things I’ve been grateful for this past week.

1. Starting at new day activities. My first week definitely was a good one. I am truly loving it there.

2. The weather. It was hot on Monday and Tuesday but as of Wednesday it’s been pretty nice. Not cold but cool enough that I could finally move again and not break out in a sweat from merely existing.

3. Going on the elliptical. It was quite a challenge, since I hadn’t exercised in weeks, but it was a fun challenge. I love being able to let my thoughts go as I exercise.

4. Eating at my in-laws on Wednesday. My husband had to suddenly stay at work late, so he asked whether I could eat with his parents. They cooked endive with mashed potatoes, which is not my favorite meal to say the least, but it wasn’t too terrble either. Congrats to me for eating all that was on my plate.

5. A lie-in on Thursday. I had kept my alarm set at 6:45, but turned it off and rolled over. My support coordinator wouldn’t be here till 3PM and, though I have in the past been in bed till that late, I trusted myself to wake before then. And I did.

6. Those blueberries I mentioned yesterday. Boy, do I love them. They also doubly made up for the endive on Wednesday, as I had them for dessert then too. At home, I rarely eat dessert, but my in-laws do.

7. Making a cheesecake with my support coordinator. I didn’t share this yesterday, as I hadn’t tried it then yet, but it was delicious! My husband also really liked it.

8. Going to the marketplace. At my new day activities, the people visit the local marketplace each Friday. We all bring money, throw it together and buy some extra treat for lunchtime. Today though, I didn’t put mo money in with the others’, as I’d forgotten my lunch so wante dto buy me some more food than just a treat. The bread stand wasn’t there, but I did buy strawberries. Later, a staff went to the supermarket to buy some bread for me.

9. Journaling prompt eBooks. I bought two new ones on Wednesday. Yes, I’m probably obsessed with collecting them, given how many journaling prompt books and files and apps I have. One of the new ones I bought is the complete Lisa Shea journaling collection (eleven books for one reduced price). I had been ahing at many of the individual books, but €1,- each still means I’d spend over €10 on just some journaling prompts and some were more expensive. What then if they disappoint me? Well, the full collection was €6,45, which seemed reasonable. So far, I’m loving the books. The other was Journal Writing Prompts for Child Abuse Survivors, which cost only €0,99. I like that one too. As a side note, it’s interesting how I spend far less money on eBooks now that I use Kindle. Back when I used Kobo, I didn’t bet an eye at €5,- for a few simple journaling prompts (like one of Mari L. McCarthy’s 24-day challenge books). It’s good that I am more careful now, in that it’s technically my husband’s money I’m using (even though I pay him back straight away), as I use his credit card.

10. Lying in the cocoon swing at day activities. A cocoon swing is like a small tent that hangs off a tree and you can then lie in it and swing it. I love it. It’s truly pure relaxation!

Linking up with Ten Things of Thankful again.

Some Kind Words Meant the Best Part of My Day

Posted on by Astrid

Boy, am I feeling awful right now. I ate a whole bag of sugar-free candies (a small bag, but still) and now I’m having the worst bowel cramps in the history of this body. A part of me is still not convinced that I should never buy these candies again, as this part believes with their laxative effect, I’ll actually lose weight while indulging into my sweet tooth, so a double win. I have already banned myself from buying candy containing sugar, as that’d mean I’d eat a whole (usually much larger) bag too and I’d have the added drawback of it containing like 1500 calories. My goal is to be healthy though, not skinny and awful-feeling. That same part of me disagrees, but well.

To cheer myself up and to find inspiration to write a post for today, I looked at some question of the day posts on other blogs. On A Writer’s Life, last Monday, the author asked a question that could fulfill both these purposes. They asked about the best part of our day.

I had a pretty boring day today. I didn’t do much that was truly exciting. That is, I exercised on the elliptical for the first day in a while, but that’s while I was already suffering from the aforementioned bowel cramps. At day activities, I did a few things I enjoyed, but nothing that stood out majorly.

However, some kind words from my day activities staff did stand out. Yesterday, I had been taken home by taxi as usual. The drivers know the day activities in this area well as they regularly drive clients there. As such, they know that my group is for pretty severely intellectually disabled people. The driver who drove me home yesterday asked what I, being of at least average intelligence, do at that group. I did go into an explanation, which I later felt maybe I shouldn’t have. I mean, she’s just a driver, not one of my staff.

I also worried that my real staff would soon enoug find out that I’m too good for that group too. So today I asked one of the staff at my group. She said: “Because you can talk so well, people may get that impression, but we know better.” It didn’t sound like it was a blow to my self-esteem at all. She didn’t mean it to highlight my social and emotional difficulties, which are the reason I’m at this group. She just said that they’ve gotten to know me well and we’ve together decided that this is the right froup for me. Phew, was I relieved.

First Day at New Day Activities

Posted on by Astrid

We had our first day at the new day activities. The taxi arrived at my doorstep around 8:10AM. Since I’d been informed I’d be picked up around eight, I had already been waiting for about fifteen minutes. That was no problem though. The driver said he’d have to pick up some other people on the way, but I still arrived at day activities by 8:35. That’s very early, since most other clients don’t arrive till nine o’clock. The taxi driver said that he’d pick me up a little later tomorrow.

When I arrived, I had some water. While placing my stuff where it belongs, I stumbled upon a weighted chair. This is a comfortable chair where you can fold the arms inward, which are filled with balls to make them heavier. That way you’ll feel some deep pressure. I don’t really know how to explain it but it was really good and I sat in the chair for a little while.

After that, I did some table-based activity using magnetic building materials until it was time for coffee at 9:30. We went outside to drink our coffee. Meanwhile, I inquired as to whether we’d be going for a walk this morning. This group usually does on Monday mornings, but it’s still very hot so I thought it’d be too hot. One of the staff said it’d be too hot indeed but the other staff would have to go to the supermarket and she could ask whether I could go with her. This was fine with the other staff and we went on the side-by-side bike. I loved this.

After that, I did another table-based building activity. This one I had tried already when I was introduced to the center a few weeks ago, but I discovered new ways of building the blocks anyway.

Meanwhile, the staff were sorting out how to register my attendance in the agency’s computer system. This did stress me out a little, but not too much and I was able to confirm with my support coordinator that it would all be sorted by tomorrow.

The taxi back was again very early. I’d been informed that I’d be taken home by 1PM, but the taxi arrived at the day center by 12:30 and the driver was sure that this was the correct time to pick me up. Well, we were still eating our lunch, so no. I quickly collected my stuff and went home. Overall, it was a good day.

Weekly Gratitude List (August 3, 2018) #TToT

Posted on by Astrid

It’s Friday again, so it’s time for Ten Things of Thankful or #TToT. I loved all the positive comments on my post last week. My apologies to those I haven’t commented back on. One of the reasons is the fact that I struggle to comment on Blogspot blogs. However, I may also have been too distracted to comment. Anyway, with no further ado, here are the things I’m grateful for this week.

1. Having had a barbecue with the in-laws. That is, my mother-in-law wasn’t there, but my father-in-law and two sisters-in-law were. The food was delicious and we had a great time.

2. My having lost weight despite not following a healthy diet too strictly and not having exercised much at all. I really hope and in fact I believe I can stick to this healthy’ish lifestyle for a long while.

3. The fact that I click well with the Center for Consultation and Expertise consultant assigned to my case.

4. Good sleep in spite of the hot weather. It’s still over 30 degrees Celsius at midday. Like I said last week though, my husband got us a fan for in our bedroom. As a result, I’m sleeping pretty well.

5. Watching documentary series on Netflix. I haven’t completley figured it out, but it works okay.

6. The fact that my computer hasn’t died yet. It is over four years old and incredibly slow, has two broken keys and many programs aren’t working. I cannot get a new computer yet though. After all, for a new computer, I’d need a new version of my screen reader, which is very expensive and won’t be paid for by health insurance unless I get a prescription from a blindness agency, for which I’m on the waiting list. Thankfully, the two broken keys aren’t letters and I have gotten used to the slowness of things.

7. On a related note, the fact that I finally figured out how to subscribe to blog feeds in my favorite feed reader on this broken PC. This used to only work in Firefox, which is one of the programs no longer working with my outdated screen reader. However, I finally worked my way around this and can now subscribe in IE. This means I can finally follow new blogs I discover.

8. Having still kept up with this blog. I don’t write as much as I did last week, but at least I still manage to write at least one blog post everyday.

9. Snack veggies. My husband bought a bucket of cherry tomatoes and a bucket of snack cucumbers on Tuesday, but I forgot about them until he reminded me yesterday. Now I can enjoy snacking without guilt.

10. The hugs, cards and presents I got from the people at my now old day activities. The leave-taking was bittersweet but I truly loved how nice everyone was.

What have you been thankful for lately?

Saying Goodbye at Day Activities

Posted on by Astrid

Today was my last day at my now old day activities. It was a good day. My assigned support worker wasn’t on my group today but she was in the building. Yesterday already, another support worker I like came for a cup of coffee on her day off so she could still say goodbye to me, as she doesn’t work Fridays either.

First, I had a cup of hot chocolate. I usually drink coffee but wanted a treat. Don’t tell me it’s summer and hot chocolate isn’t a summer drink, because I just loved the sweetness. Then, like most mornings, I went for a walk with one of the staff. It was lovely walking by the river.

As the other clients arrived, we had coffee and fruit. The people on my group are all profoundly intellectually disabled, so they probably don’t understand that I’m leaving. As such, I didn’t make a big deal out of it at my group.

I had decided to go make ham and cheese sandwiches at the group my assigned support worker worked at today. They make ham and cheese sandwiches each Friday and I’ve participated a few times before. First, however, I gave each of the staff at day activities a tiny handmade soap that’s shaped like an apple.

When we were making the sandwiches, the people from the industrial group that I originally started day activities at, came over. They handed me a card and a Winnie the Pooh coloring page that a woman I’m close with had colored. Unlike the people at my group, they and particularly this woman did understand that I was leaving.

Then, they gave me some gifts the staff had bought for me. I got a smoothie cup with a straw, because I love making smoothies and milkshakes. I also got a lovely unicorn soft toy. It is white with a lilac tail and rainbow-colored hair. I sleep with like six stuffed animals in my bed and have two more in my favorite chair in the living room. Now the unicorn has joined those two. I challenge my readers to think up a name for her.

Lastly, I got a lovely set of body care products. They are a body scrub, a body butter and body mist. I have a huge collection of body care products already, but these truly smell awesome!

Leave-taking is bittersweet, but I truly hope to have a good time at my new day activities and to not have to say goodbye there within at least a couple years.

Last Week at Current Day Activities

Posted on by Astrid

Today is a good day so far. I’m slightly less energetic and motivated than I was over the week-end, but I wouldn’t say I’m depressed either. It feels a little strange having started my last week at my curren day activities. Next week, I start at a new place, thankfully with the same care organization.

I started at my current day activities over a year ago fresh out of the mental institution. I didn’t know it back then, but the manager had gotten the impression that it was just an emergency placement, so I wouldn’t be there long-term. It’s a place for people with intellectual disabilities, which I don’t have. As such, I assume part of the reason I was eventually asked to find another place, is that they need my spot for someone who does have an intellectual disability. The staff don’t say so of course. They say it’s better for me to find another place. I hope that my new place will
prove to be better indeed.

The new place is also for people with intellectual disabilities. They are mostly severely intellectually disabled people at the gorup I will be attending, but they are at least partly capable of their own personal care. On the group I go to now, the clients are all profoundly intellectually disabled and need considerable help with their personal care. Two of my fellow clients need one-on-one support a lot of the time.

Why, you may ask, did I end up in this group? Well, I am not intellectually disabled, but the care approach to developmental disabilities suits me much better than the one for mental illness. I started day activities last year at a group for relatively capable people with mild intellectual disabilities. They do industrial activities there. This definitely wasn’t my type of activity. Also, the constant chatter that I couldn’t make sense of, was overloading me. So I often retreated into the sensory room. I prefer sensory activities to industrial-type work anyway. The center psychologist was consulted because my behavior was getting out of hand at the industrial group and she recommended I be transferred to the sensory group, which is the one I attend now.

There, I did well for about six months. Then, my behavior spiraled out of control again when several new clients joined my group and as a result there were lots of changes. After an incident in which I self-harmed, the manager decided I’d need to leave this place. Thankfully, he gave me time to find another place. The new place is with the same care organization but in a different town.

At the new place, the other clients are slightly more independent than at my current place. Also, the staff are more used to dealing with challenging behavior. It is pretty crowded and noisy, but when I’m overloaded, I’m allowed to retreat into the sensory room. I spent a few days at the new place to see if I’d like it and I did. As such, they’re more prepared than my old place. After all, the staff there only got a bit of information about me from my institution psychologist, most of which I reckon was incorrect. After all, said psychologist felt I’m dependent rather than autistic and as a result exaggerate my sensory issues in order to elicit care. Well, I’m not.