“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29 NIV)
I had a very bad anger outburst this afternoon. For a very minor reason, I yelled at and insulted a staff member quite majorly. I told her to leave, which she did, but not just because I told her to. In fact, I’d caused her to get a little teary.
Obviously, I regret my outburst, though initially I didn’t fully see that it was all my responsibility. I mean, I did feel as though this staff member had triggered me. I see now that my anger was extreme and way out of proportion to the situation.
Then, in a collection of journaling prompts, I was pointed to this Bible verse. I didn’t know what it said, so went and looked it up because I find that Paul’s letter to the Ephesians usually appeals to me. There it was. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths. Wow!
This does not refer just to no swear words. If it had, I could’ve said I don’t use those. Instead, looking at the second part of the verse, we’re supposed to only use words that build others up. In other words, calling someone names is the exact opposite of what Paul asks us to do here.
I did eventually apologize. Initially, this was a kind of half-hearted apology. Not because I had meant my insult, but because I struggle to prevent this happening again and because, at the time, I didn’t fully see that I alone was responsible for my behavior. I see now. I am praying that, with God’s help, I will learn better anger management strategies.
God, I want to confess that I am a very sinful person. You know this already, but I need to realize that my behavior is wrong. I had a horrible anger outburst and I didn’t even fully acknowledge that it was my fault. Please help me take responsibility for my anger. Please also help me come to You in future situations where I get triggered rather than react in anger. I pray for forgiveness and hope that You will still accept me even though I am not living up to even human expectations, let alone Yours. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
A Multitude of Musings 