Tarot, Etc.: Paranormal or Intuitive Methods for Self-Care #AtoZChallenge

Posted on by Astrid

Welcome to my letter T post in the #AtoZChallenge. Today I’m talking about a topic that may be a little weird to some of my readers. Tarot, huh? Yes, I am writing about how to use paranormal and intuitive methods in self-care.

The tarot is a bit of a floaty concept to some. I mean, many people associate it with fortune-telling and predicting the future, which in my opinion isn’t possible. I mean, as a teen, I used to believe in some degree of fortune-telling, but I don’t anymore. However, the tarot is really a method of tapping into your own intuition.

So what is the tarot? It’s a deck of 78 cards, each with their own symbolism and meaning. People who lay out a spread, usually pose a situation or question and then draw one or more cards. Each card then is supposed to give the reader insight into part of the answer to their question.

The cards are visual, in that they have an image on them. As such, they at first seemed meaningless to me. That was until I downloaded a pretty accessible tarot app that had explanations of each of the cards in it.

Like I said above, drawing a card cannot predict the future. However, reflecting on a card or spread can help you come closer to understanding your own innermost self. You don’t just draw a card or lay a spread and expect the cards to solve your problem. You still have control, but really thinking about the meaning of cards, can help you come to realize your most true feelings and thoughts.

In addition to the tarot, there are many other “paranormal” ways of taking care of yourself. I like to explore astrology. Again, laying blame on the stars for your shit isn’t going to solve anything. However, reflecting on astrology can help you understand yourself a bit. As a teen, I would also experiment a bit with the pendulum, but that didn’t help me.

I also as a teen had a large collection of gemstones. Though I mostly kept them for their beauty, I did believe in their healing power to an extent.

I follow a few tarot bloggers who use the cards to explore emotions, character and setting, sometimes even in creative writing. I love that.

Signaling: Using Crisis Prevention Plans #AtoZChallenge

Posted on by Astrid

Welcome to my letter S post in the #AtoZChallenge. There are really many S words that are fitting in a self-care routine. After all, “self” starts with an S and self-care is about YOU. I will be writing about creating a crisis prevention plan.

A crisis prevention plan, which is also called a signaling plan in Dutch (hence the letter S), details the signs and symptoms you experience leading up to a crisis. In most mental hospitals, it consists of three phases:


  • Phase 1 or green: I’m doing well.

  • Phase 2 or orange: I’m not doing well.

  • Phase 3 or red: I’m in crisis.

Here in the intellectual disability care facility, a signaling plan is more extensive and can also be used to signal lowalertness. It consists of six phases:


  • Phase -2: sleeping (when not appropriate).

  • Phase -1: low alertness.

  • Phase 0: adequate and alert.

  • Phase 1: low stress, highly alert.

  • Phase 2: high stress, too highly alert.

  • Phase 3: emotional outburst or loss of control (crisis).


I find it pretty hard to translate these into English, so sorry for my quirky word choice.

In each phase, the signaling plan lists signs patients or their staff will notice when the patient is in that phase. For example, one of my phase two behaviors is loud talking. Abilities are also explained. For example, in phase 0 in my case, I am able to make decisions adequately. In phase 1, I can make choices between a few (usually two) different options. In phase 2 and 3, it’s up to the staff to make decisions for me.

Mental hospitals and mental health agencies in general are strongly focused on patient self-reliance, so they include lots of stuff about what you can do yourself in the different phases. In most cases, in fact, the patient is held fully responsible for their self-care unless they enter phase 3. I mean, patients are allowed to ask for help in phase 2, but staff will not reach out and patients are usually required to come up with direct requests for help. IN my opinion, this is rather odd.

I find it extremely comforting yet a bit surprising to see that my current signaling plan, which was created by my care staff and the behavior specialist, details staff responsibilities for each phase.

Like I said yesterday, my signaling plan also includes a recovery phase, which lists signs I’m coming out of a crisis and ways staff can help me then. This is really helpful.

Recovery Time After a Crisis #AtoZChallenge

Posted on by Astrid

Welcome to my letter R post in the #AtoZChallenge. There are a lot of R topics related to self-care. I want to write about recovering after you’ve been in a mentally hard space or crisis.

First, let me tell you that recovery time is important in preventing a crisis too. You just can’t go, go, go all the time. No-one can, whether you struggle with mental health issues or not. So take your down time. Whether that be a nap, a nice bath or shower, or listening to your favorite music, is up to you. Or something else entirely, of course. I often need to take a little time to unwind in the afternoon. I do this by lying on my bed with nature sounds or relaxing music playing on Spotify. When we still went to the day center, I’d go to the sensory room for about half an hour to an hour.

When you have just come out of a mental health crisis, it’s especially important to take your time to recover. Your recovery time, according to my DBT handout, may help you come to an insight as to how to prevent this crisis from happpening again. It often does for me. It may not, but then at least you’ll need time to come back to your usual self.

I have a crisis signaling plan here at the care facility. Its different phases normally range from -2 (asleep when you shouldn’t be) to +3 (emotional outburst or loss of control, ie. crisis). My staff put in another phase for me, which they call “recovery”. This is what happens after I calm down from a meltdown. I usually feel sadness and shame then. Staff are in this phase advised to stay near and help me process my thoughts and feelings. This is, for me, often the time when I can be most honest about my needs.

What do you do to recover when you’re climbing out of a mental pit?

Quotes, Sayings and Affirmations for Self-Care #AtoZChallenge

Posted on by Astrid

Welcome to my Letter Q post in the #AtoZChallenge. Man, how time flies! We’ve just entered our sixth week in “intelligent” lockdown here in the Netherlands. Tomorrow, prime minister Rutte will hold another press conference to determine whether any restrictions will be lifted on April 28. I doubt it, but oh well.

Today I want to talk about using quotes and inspirational sayings in your self-care routine.

Quotes may seem a little cheesy to some people at first. Then again, maybe you haven’t found the right one yet. If you find a quote that truly speaks to you, it can definitely set you off in the right direction.

I for one love quotes and not just the deep ones. Anna Borges’ first self-care strategy is called “A.A. Milne” after the author of the book Winnie the Pooh. There are lots of funny quotes in that book and in the Disney movies based on it. They may actually make you laugh and inspire you at the same time.

I do also love deep quotes though. My favorites come from Helen Keller, Tori Amos and Madeleine L’Engle. However, I enjoy quotes from a ton of different people.

For those of us who are religious, Bible or other sacred text verses can also certainly speak to you. I am a true cherry picker where it comes to the Bible, picking out random passages to use for motivation. That’s totally okay if you ask me.

When you find a quote or verse that speaks to you, you can use it as a mantra or affirmation. You can also create your own affirmations. The key to getting affirmations to actually do good for you, is believing in them. I mean, I don’t believe in Law of Attraction-like ideas that say anything you set your mind to can come true. Affirmations need to be useful to your life right now. For example, I use the following affirmation: “I love, accept and respect myself exactly as I am right now.”

There are a number of different apps that can be used for focusing on affirmations. I use ThinkUp and Mantra on my iPhone. Both are free but come with ads and an in-app purchase to get premium features and remove advertising.

What are your favorite quotes, sayings or affirmations?

Organization as a Self-Care Skill #AtoZChallenge

Posted on by Astrid

Welcome to day 15 and my letter O post in the #AtoZChallenge. Today’s topic may seem a bit boring. I’m going to talk about how organizing your life can help you take better care of yourself.

Let me start by saying I’m a terrible organizer. In high school, I had a calendar that I’d typed out myself in Word. I started out keeping it faithfully at the beginning of the first school year. By the time we got to the end of that year though, I forgot to write down my homework about half the time and looked it up even less. I had a great memory, which meant I didn’t usually miss homework deadlines.

I never kept a calendar in college or beyond, but now that I have an iPhone, I do try to use the calendar app to track appointments. Which reminds me, I still need to write next week’s phone appt with my community psychiatric nurse into it. Going to do that now. Be right back.

Okay, done. Where was I? See, I’m pretty disorganized. Still, I try to keep some order in my life. It helps me, for example, to have reminders about taking my medication in my phone. Otherwise I may forget and that’s not good.

I also, like I mentioned before, have an app that reminds me to drink enough water. Habit-tracking apps like this exist for a bunch of habits that will help you have a more meaningful, organized and productive life.

Decluttering is another way of getting more organized. There are lots of specific methods for it, such as FlyLady, the Konmari method, etc. I would love to stick to such a method, but honestly more so that I could talk about it than to actually get cleaning. I guess that’s weird.

Because I am blind, I don’t usually get bothered by clutter unless it’s in my way. However, of course, clutter does make it harder for me to remember where I left my things. That’s why currently I try to keep at least some order in my drawers and my wardrobe. It’s hard, but it pays off.

Are you an organized person? Or have you developed strategies for organizing your life?

Name Your Negative Voice: Dealing with Your Inner Critic #AtoZChallenge

Posted on by Astrid

Welcome to my letter N post in the #AtoZChallenge. Today I want to talk about dealing with negative thoughts coming from your inner critic.

You know what? Just because you think something, doesn’t make it true. Your thoughts and feelings are not fact. See my post on cognitive distortions for some examples of how our thoughts can deceive us.

One way of dealing with negative thoughts, is to engage them in a challenging conversation. It may help, in this case, to name your inner critic. Literally give it a name. Then look at it like you would to a really annoying person you meet, who however has little to no authority over you. It may then be easier to ignore or shut up your inner critic.

For example, let’s assume you call your inner critic Donald. (That’s what Anna Borges suggests and I do wonder whether she bases it on some orange-faced creature currently leading the world’s most powerful nation.) If your inner critic were to say you shouldn’t do something because you presumably can’t, you can then call him out on his bullshit, like this.

Inner critic: You’ll not get the job you want, so don’t bother to apply.
You: Shut up, Donald. You don’t know shit.

In this conversation, you’re purposefully keeping your comebacks to Donald brief. After all, you know he’s ignorant and insensitive and yet he doesn’t have the authority over you that requires you actually listen to him.

Another approach to your inner critic, particularly if it originates in childhood trauma, is to see your inner critic as a punitive parent. Then you can create a nurturing parent in your mind to help you challenge the punitive parent. After all, you most likely do generally feel you need to obey your parents more than you need an annoying acquaintance, even though really as an adult you have no such obligation.

Remember, naming your inner critic still requires you realize it’s part of you. Don’t go about blaming others for your own negative thoughts. Even when your inner critic is a reflection of your parents, it’s still your responsibility to deal with it.

As a side note, having a name for your inner critic can, in my experience, also help you see its function. For example, one of my more critical alters emerged as a named inner critic I thought should just shut up. Later on though, I realized she had a function beyond just being an inner critic or punitive parent. For this reason, I do feel engaging your inner critic can really be more than just telling it to shut up.

Laughter and Humor for Self-Care #AtoZChallenge

Posted on by Astrid

Okay, I’m rather late posting my letter L post. I honestly wasn’t sure about the topic either, so this post may be brief again. Today I want to talk about laughter and humor as self-care strategies.

One strategy in dialectical behavior therapy, which I talked about in my post on ACCEPTS, is to put on a smile. Literally. Curl up the corners of your mouth and force a smile. This may seem fake and it is at times. However, it can actually help you feel better.

Now try making yourself laugh out loud! In The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care, Anna Borges recommends making yourself actually laugh to feel better. Try saying “Ha,” then “ha ha” and so forth out loud. It will be sure to make you crackle up soon enough.

Another way to make yourself laugh is of course to use humor. We are all different in the types of humor we appreciate. I for one am a true wordplay lover. I can’t stand practical jokes and I don’t understand funny videos due to being blind, unless there is a strong verbal component. My humor can be a bit dark, while others prefer lightheartedness. Whatever humor you like, there’s always something out there on the Internet you’ll appreciate.

Let’s make each other laugh! Tell jokes or share other forms of humor in the comments!

Know Yourself: Self-Discovery for Self-Care #AtoZChallenge

Posted on by Astrid

Welcome to my letter K post in the #AtoZChallenge. This was a hard letter, but I managed to come up with something, though today’s post is brief. Today I will talk about how self-discovery can help you care better for yourself.

It may be hard to actually know who you are or what you need, but figuring this out is vital to actually meeting your own unique needs. I mean, there are lots of ways to take care of yourself – many more than I will discuss during this challenge -, but most of them are not suitable to everyone. So take time to observe yourself.

I find journaling is a great way of getting to know yourself. There are a lot of guided self-exploration journals out there. There are also tons of journals that claim to be about self-exploration but are really just random lists of prompts. The self-discovery journal I like best is the 23 Days Self-Discovery Journaling Challenge by Mari L. McCarthy. Her other journaling challenges are fab too!

Mindfulness can also help you discover who you are. So can going to therapy or counseling. Regardless of what approach you use, try to be non-judgmental. Like I once read on a website of a personality disorders treatment clinic, the best person you can become is yourself.

Journaling for Emotional Wellbeing #AtoZChallenge

Posted on by Astrid

Wow, did I seriously not think about journaling when ruminating over what word to pick for my letter J post? Well yeah, indeed I completely forgot. But now I know, so for today, I’m going to talk about one of my favorite yet most challenging self-care habits: journaling.

I started my first journal when I was about eleven. It was a handmade diary with Braille pages stuck in it. I didn’t keep it for long though. When I was thirteen, I started writing a regular diary on my computer. That one lasted for over three years, until I discovered the Internet and online journals. I always wished for my journals to be read by others, even though I never wanted my parents to be those other people. That happened with the online journal, which gradually morphed into a blog.

That being said, I need to learn to write in private again. Not just anything that goes on in my head, is suited for the whole wide world to read.

Journal keeping can have many benefits for your emotional wellbeing. It can help you identify patterns in your thinking, find triggers for negative feelings and be more grateful, among other things.

Remember, the diary is just one form of journaling. Usually in a diary, you write what you did during a day, including how you felt. There are other types of more focused journals, such as:

  • Dream journal, in which you write down your dreams after you wake up in the morning.
  • Goal-related journal, such as weight loss or smoking cessation journals. In this type of journal, you track your progress towards a goal. For those of us dealing with addictions, eating disorders, etc., a journal for tracking how many days you’re in recovery, may help too.
  • Gratitude journal, in which you write a list of daily gratefuls or otherwise express your gratitude. See my letter G post for more tips on this.

Some journaling “experts” recommend writing stream-of-consciousness style. Others recommend using prompts. You can combine the two by responding to a journaling prompt in stream-of-consciousness style too. There are many free and cheap books of journaling prompts. My favorite is the Journaling with Lisa Shea series. I have the whole series in one single eBook.

There are lots of ways to keep a journal. You can have a standard paper journal or a document (or more than one) on your computer, tablet or smartphone. There are also lots of apps that are aimed at helping you journal. I have tried dozens of those on my iPhone. My current favorite is Day One, which is available for all Apple products and I believe Android now too. Still, no matter how many products you try, you need to be the one sticking to a regular habit of journal keeping.

Do you have a journal (other than your blog)?

Intentions: Living Your Life with Purpose #AtoZChallenge

Posted on by Astrid

Welcome to day 9 in the #AtoZChallenge and my letter I post. I really wasn’t sure what to write for this post, so looked to The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care by Anna Borges for inspiration. One of her letter I topics is “intentions”. This may seem fluffy to you and it feels that way to an extent to me, too. Today I am going to write about living your life with purpose.

When I think of this, I immediately think of the Purpose-Driven Life, which is some type of conservative Christian book about how Christians should live their life. Even though I haven’t read it, I know it has many things that will not apply to me as a progressive believer. Besides, I want to speak to people of all faiths and none at all, so this is not what I’m talking about.

Instead, I am talking about determining how you want to live your life. A purpose in life can really be whatever you want it to be. That doesn’t mean it should change very often – it really should not.

For living with intent, it requires that you focus on your core values. Determining these may be hard especially when you’re still young or unsure of yourself. However, though your life’s purpose shouldn’t change on a whim, it isn’t necessarily completely static either.

Focusing on who you want to be and what you want to achieve, can take the form of a single word or phrase. For example, I choose a word of the year each January. This year’s is Wellbeing. I know that most words of the year I’ve set in the past are related to emotional wellness. Of course, most people strive for happiness in their lives, so this may be an open door really. However, if you set a word such as “Success” or “Productive” as your focus word of the year, this reflects that other values, in this case achievement, are more important to your happiness. Remember, that’s okay too. Just because I am focused on emotional wellness, doesn’t mean you need to be too. In fact, I think my chosen intentions may come across a bit self-centered to some.

Once you have set an intention for your life, or for the next year, it should help you guide your path. If you reflect on your chosen theme regularly, it will become easier to let it guide your short and long-term goal setting.

Do you have a word of the year for this year or an intention for your life in general?