Hi everyone. I’m still struggling quite a bit with all sorts of things related to my care. Haven’t heard back from the client confidante yet and it looks like either way my staff, including my support coordinator and assigned staff, don’t care. All I can do right now is power through and make the most of my day.
My wife and I had a meeting with the mediator on our divorce today. We are 100% in agreement about what we want, so it’s really an easy process for the mediator. That’s what she actually quite literally said. My wife joked on our way out that for once we’re the easier ones. We literally left the building laughing.
This is my main positive for the day. I can’t stand it that my staff all seem to assume the divorce is a major stressor in my life. I understand why, since most have probably gone through a break-up and none have been institutionalized. However, I’ve probably explained dozens of times that my best friend and the complicating factors involved with our friendship (like the divorce) are the least of my worries at the moment.
I did ask the client confidante about my daily records and whether there are guidelines on what to write in them and not to write in them. The reason is the fact that, at least once (admittedly a while ago), my then assigned staff almost word for word wrote out an argument with my wife I’d told her about. On the other hand, staff are extremely cautious where it comes to reporting on issues I’ve had with them or their coworkers. They don’t use names at all, which I can sort of understand, but they also go to great lengths to make it sound like I was always the bad one in the interaction. For example, I’ve seen staff report that I was “being rude” or “twisting their words” without elaborating on what they and I said. The reason said staff wrote out the argument I’d had with my wife, she said, was that she worried I might be stressed about it later on. Then for goodness’ sake write out the interactions I do say stress me out! But they won’t, because they don’t want to make their coworkers look bad… so they choose to throw me and my best friend under the bus instead.
After the mediation meeting, my wife and I went to Burger King to grab a vegan burger. It was good. All the while, we kept calling each other “participant A” (my wife) and “participant B” (me), since those are our formal titles on the agreement (thankfully the mediator uses our first names most of the time). At the next meeting, we’ll sign the agreement. It will probably take a while after that for our divorce to be registered. In that sense, the title of this post is a little misleading, but I like it this way.
A Multitude of Musings 
To say I hope all is well is an understatement
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Thank you! Do you mean with me, my wife/best friend and our relationship? Yes, all is definitely well. Or do you hope with respect to my care?
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sorry to hear things are still a bit tough for you Astrid. Hope it all gets better soon! Wishing you well.
cheers
sherry https://sherryspickings.blogspot.com/
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Thanks so very much!
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It’s nice when you end on friendly terms. Onward!
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Oh, absolutely! And like I’ve probably said before, it’s mostly just for financial and practical reasons that we’re divorcing. No-one knows what the future will bring but for now we have every intention of staying friends.
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Perhaps you need to start keeping records? Even if just orally, on your phone?
Glad to hear the divorce is going well. I went through mine last year and it certainly makes life easier, though in my case we both had individual assets and just wanted a clean break. It was just the time it took to go through the motions. They insist on a 6-month cooling-off period here.
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Oh, that six-month cooling off period sounds stupid. I mean, if both of you know what you want and are in agreement, it should be relatively easy. Thanks for your kind comment on my care. Yes, this thing about records was something my support coordinator did suggest herself too.
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I suppose it’s just in case couples change their minds. I can’t help thinking it might happen a lot? But god knows why, personally I wanted to sever links the moment we split up, and I don’t think I spoke to her since then, either. The only difference the divorce made was knowing she could no longer come after my assets.
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Oh I misunderstood. I thought you were divorcing but remained friends and the “cool off period” referred to your interactions after the divorce. I’m so glad there isn’t such a thing here, because truthfully we’ve known we wanted a divorce for over a year, only deciding not to continue the process last summer because we incorrectly thought it’d have huge negative financial consequences for my wife. I’m hoping we can get this thing over with as soon as possible so that we can just be friends and not financially dependent on one another.
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glad the divorce will be an easy process. Sorry the staff are still not treating you right, it sucks that this is happening!
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Thank you. Honestly, the reason the staff are not treating me properly boils down to them not realizing I’m actually a client just like the others, not fundamentally different in any way besides how other clients are all different from one another. They see me as somehow fundamentally different because of my above-average IQ. Unfortunately, it was the same in the psych hospital because most other patients had some type of psychotic disorder and I didn’t. This leads to staff attributing my behavior to bad character or will when the others “can’t help it”.
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