#WeekendCoffeeShare (November 2, 2024)

Hi everyone on this first Saturday of November. I’m joining #WeekendCoffeeShare today. Can I offer you a drink? Let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. The daytime temperatures have been between 13°C and 16°C this week. We got a little rain here and there, but for the upcoming week, no rain is in the forecast. Daylight saving time also ended last week, so it’s now dark by 5:30PM. If you know me, you know I seriously hate this with a passion.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I haven’t been walking nearly as much as I’d have liked. I didn’t even close my activity rings on my Apple Watch each time this week. Yesterday and today have been quite good though. I signed up for a month-long challenge in the Challenges app, but I honestly don’t think I’m as interested in it as I was the last few times I participated.

On Thursday, I wanted to go swimming, but we arrived at the institution pool only to find out it was closed.

If we were having coffee, I’d share that, as regular readers of my blog know, this time of year is hard for me. Today marks 17 years since my major mental breakdown. I could try to reclaim the month by creating positive memories, but the last time I wanted to do this, I couldn’t make it last beyond that one November. I’m fully intending to stay at my current home for a long while and I can see my staff fully intend to help me in this process, but then again intentions aren’t enough.

If we were having coffee, I’d expand on this further by saying I’ve been quite a pain in the butts of my staff lately. I can honestly see why: I’m (subconsciously) pushing their limits because I think (know?) that, when I’m truly myself, they’ll kick me out. Knowing that abandonment feels safe to me because it’s what I know, unfortunately doesn’t make it any easier to change my actual actions, because when I’m dysregulated, I don’t realize I’m projecting my own fears onto my staff.

If we were having coffee, lastly though I’d tell you about the positive aspects of the past week. Firstly, I went to markets twice this week. Secondly, I tried my hand at creating a little Christmas wreath out of polymer clay. I’m not one to plan my crafty endeavors and in fact I have the snowman I crafted nearly two years ago on display year-round. I really hope to craft a few more little decorations before Christmas truly starts in early December.