Today’s prompt for Friday Faithfuls is aging. I used to think aging was scary. Even at the early age of four, I didn’t want my classmates to sing in a birthday song that I was growing up.
Then, a few years ago, I heard an episode of All in the Mind, an Australian psychology radio show (I listened to it as a podcast), about aging. In it, people were discussing the positive aspects of getting older and mentioned that, for people who got to age ninety or beyond, the happiest age they’d ever been in their entire life was 82. How they got to such an exact number, I don’t know, but I’ve since clung to that number. It helped that my assigned day activities staff at my old care home always said she was going to live to age 93. Since she is eleven years older than me, we had this inside joke about the two of us meeting up near the end of our lives when she was 93 and I was at my happiest ever, ie. 82.
There actually is, or so the people on the show said, some logic behind older people being happier than younger people. The reason is the fact that the amygdala, one of the parts of the brain responsible for registering fear, shrinks as we age.
Also, many people become more resilient as they experience more of life. Whether this is a biological, social or psychological thing or more likely a combination of all three, it does mean older people may be generally happier than those in their twenties and thirties, for example. Borderline personality disorder, also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder or emotion regulation disorder, of which I have some traits, tends to lessen as people get older as well. This lessening of symptoms usually starts in a sufferer’s early thirties. Indeed, though I cannot say I’m necessarily happier now that I’m nearly 37 than I was ten or twenty years ago, I am generally more emotionally stable.
A Multitude of Musings 
Growing older brings clarity and wisdom
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Yes, but whether that’s a good thing, isn’t always clear. I mean, some older adults will realize that they made many irreversible mistakes in their younger years.
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That’s true! But the purpose of experience is not to make the same mistakes again.
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That’s indeed a great point you make there.
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Thanks 🙏🏼
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Astrid:
The Friday Faithfuls link you intended to make takes me to your previous post – the Wednesday HodgePodge.
Is there a Friday Faithfuls link-up?
There is a long study at the Harvard College about ageing well.
I was never afraid of ageing per se; it was that other people were so afraid of it – for themselves and for me.
Yes, if you value stability and if you value comfort – I can see that people would fear ageing more.
Love that inside joke about being 93 and 82 [between you and your assigned day activity staff].
[and the now late Donald Triplett – he would probably have been at his happiest 7 years ago – and now we will never know what he would have thought of being a nonagenarian. Three more months for him!]
And when “Amy” shrinks – or she is smaller in the first place …
[I am glad that other parts of the brain share the burden and/or compensate. So seldom is it the case that ONE part of the brain does the job unless it is very very specialised].
Even 20 and 30 years ago they talked about the lessening of personality disorders and their traits as a “burnout” in the early and middle thirties.
Yes – the biopsychosocial model is a big thing on ALL IN THE MIND. And indeed in the gerontology world more generally.
So Friday Faithfuls – is it a podcast? And a Facebook page?
And I think of a thing I wrote 25 years ago
about characters being 37 and 43.
The 43-year-old character is a general practitioner; the 37-year-old is an art practitioner and teacher.
The GP has two daughters – and some grandchildren too.
So true about being more resilient as you experience more of life.
And so good that you listen to ALL IN THE MIND in general and that you were able to share such a wonderful thing.
There is a little thing called *survivor’s bias* …
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Oops, fixed the link. It’s not a link-up but you can ping back if you’re on WordPress or post your link in the comments (which I’m going to do since my pingback now probably won’t work). The original Friday Faithfuls post is here: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2023/06/16/getting-older/.
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts on ageing and happiness Astrid as I think they are definitely linked to each other. I will look onto your theory about 82 being the happiest year and I have 12 years to look forward to that.
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Thanks so much for commenting! I’m pretty sure that age 82 was just an average or something, but it does say that older adults generally are significantly happier than when these same people were younger, at least in retrospect.
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I recall saying ‘I would never have believed being over sixty would be so much fun’ and it was true; if I hadn’t been widowed at 68, 70 would be as fun. It’s still fun and there are still good things, like going for coffee with your friends instead of going to work! A lot depends on luck, health and family as to whether we can fully enjoy being recycled teenagers!
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That last point makes total sense. I am unemployed, have never worked, so in this sense have the free time old age affords the rest of the population. However, I am multiply-disabled, including having significant mental health problems, and my family of origin is hardly there for me at all. Thankfully, I do have my spouse and in-laws.
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