My Life Story Isn’t Over Yet

Hi all. Today I’m joining Tranquil Thursday. This replaces Throwback Thursday while Lauren is dealing with her health issues. This week’s topic is (un)written aspects of our life story.

I am 36. On average, this means I’m about at midlife or slightly before there. This should mean about as much of my life story has been written already as the part that’s still unwritten. I struggle to see it this way though. In my mind, I’m perpetually in end-of-life mode.

Especially since moving to my current care home, I no longer make plans. I blame the chaotic situation here, but I’m not sure that’s all there is to it.

I do look back at a life that has been hard, but it definitely has had its positives. Meeting my husband and getting married is an absolutely amazing thing about my life.

As a teen and young adult, I always wanted to write and publish my autobiography. I obviously never did. It had as its working title “Some former preemies will go to university”, after the title of an article in the newspaper my parents read in 2004. The article was about giving preemies born at 24 weeks gestation a chance at active treatment. The neonatologist arguing for this said that some preemies will later go to university. In other words, they’ll prove their worthiness of having been treated actively.

As regular readers of this blog will know, I received active treatment as a preemie too, even though my parents weren’t completely sure I should. I did, indeed, at some point go to university. And failed miserably. But I did sort of prove my worth. Or did I?

My life story isn’t over yet. I might indeed someday be relatively successful at life, whatever that may be. Or I might deteriorate even further than I am now. Then again, everyone deteriorates in old age. And if you need to have had a college degree and worked for 40’ish years before that in order to prove your life is worth it, human values are rather distorted.

10 thoughts on “My Life Story Isn’t Over Yet

  1. Maybe start by making small plans, like, planning one small thing your going to do each day, just for you…I’m sorry things are still so chaotic at the care facility, my thoughts are with you and your life isn’t over yet, not while your still breathing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was a linguistics major, but only for two months, so I don’t have a degree whatsoever. I mean, yes, I do have what’s called a “propedeuse” here (first year of college or university) in applied psychology. Community colleges don’t exist here. Associate’s degrees are relatively new here and are provided by regular colleges too. If you aren’t able to go to college here, you go to something called “intermediate professional education” and you don’t earn a degree (although some political parties and lobbying groups have campaigned for giving titles to people who earned diplomas from these schools too). Intermediate professional education is where you’d go to become, say, a hairdresser, secretary, baker or non-specialty nurse or support worker.


        1. Ah, thanks for saying that. Honestly though, I’m not proud of my college/university education, as it’s often used against me to “prove” how capable I should be. More so the fact that I went to grammar school (not sure those exist in the U.S., but they’re high-level high schools with an emphasis on ancient Roman and Greek culture and Latin/Greek languages) and I actually did graduate from there.


            1. Oh okay, I never heard that. The Dutch (and German) term for the school I went to is “Gymnasium”, but I know that’s the physical education building in American schools. I think “grammar school” is a UK-based term.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.