Oh my, how time flies! I fully intended to write my monthly update on my word of the year, which is “JOY”, last Thursday, but forgot. Thankfully, there’s still about ten hours left in April to share my reflections on how I did this past month. I am linking up with the Word of the Year linky, as well as Lisa’s One Word link-up.
Early in the month, I did quite well. I enjoyed my craft of polymer clay to the fullest. Among other things, I discovered color mixing. I was full of new ideas and really burst with energy.
I also enjoyed quiet time and my spiritual life. I was engaging with the Bible on a daily basis.
I also spent time involved with personal growth in general, watching videos on, for example, the enneagram. This is not necessarily Christian, but it is not against the faith either and there are many Christian enneagram experts.
Unfortunately, as the month progressed, I slipped into an emotional rut. I have been neglecting my Bible reading and my quiet time now involves falling asleep to instrumental music. That isn’t bad in itself, but I’d really like to spend more time focusing on God. I’ve noticed, in fact, that I’m drifting away from Him. I could blame this on my low mood, but really it could be the other way around too.
I also haven’t been enjoying my creativity as much as I used to. This goes for both my polymer clay and my blogging. With blogging, this may have to do with the fact that the #AtoZChallenge is coming to an end and the last letters are usually harder than the first. However, I don’t engage as much with other bloggers as I used to early in the month either.
I am also not enjoying my food as much as I used to. Like, we had pizza yesterday. While I appreciated it, I didn’t savor the food as much as I would like to have done. I am reminded in this sense of the mindful eating exercise I did in early March and how I’d really like to apply it to foods I love more.
Overall, early in the month, I did quite well, but towards the end of the month, I’ve been slipping towards the opposite of joy. This brings me to one of the exercises that Lisa provided in her One Word E-mail for this month (I think), which was to look to the opposites of your word and reflect on what they can tell you about your word. Some of the most relevant antonyms of joy include:
- Depression: well, I wouldn’t say I’m depressed (yet), in the clinical sense. Having been there, I know that my current low mood is different, but I do need to watch out that I don’t slip into the pit of depression.
- Melancholy: I’ve definitely been feeling this way. Melancholy is a bit of a low mood, with an edge of romanticism attached. I feel this resonates with me in relation to how I feel about living in my current care home.
- Misery: this sounds a bit, well, too negative for me right now. A state I want to avoid at all cost.
- Sadness: yes, I’ve felt sad when my fellow client passed away early this month, but other than that, sadness just doesn’t cut it.
- Seriousness: certainly, yes. I’ve been far too serious about my life lately, which has resulted in my not enjoying the fun parts.
All this being said, in the coming month, I’m hoping to gain some joy back and crawl out of the pit of melancholy and seriousness.
A Multitude of Musings 
It’s easy to drift away from God. I’d like to engage more in reading the Bible, or at least spend more time in prayer. It would probably help me in many ways. I’m sorry to hear the last part of this month has been hard for you and I hope you’ll find your way back to joy again. The opposites exercise looks interesting, did you find it helped you with your word? Maybe I should give it a try!
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Thank you so much for your encouraging words. Yes, the opposites exercise did feel quite helpful indeed. It made me aware of what I want to avoid, which sometimes is easier when I’m in a rut than to look at what I want to achieve.
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Thanks for joining our linkup Astrid and I’m sorry to hear that some of your month hasn’t been the way you wanted it. I am very interested in looking at the opposite of your word to see how that shines a light on your choice of word. My word is gift so I might look at some of the antonyms in a future post just for something a bit different. I always enjoy reading everyone’s updates on the WOTY even if they aren’t going to plan. Hope things look up for you in May and you can reclaim that joy in your life.
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Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I really hope the coming month will bring me much joy indeed. Looking at its opposites especially during this less joyful month did help me a bit.
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Take heart, May is full of new opportunities to flourish!
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Thanks for the encouragement! 🙂 I agree completely.
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Joy is such a wonderful word and it sounds like you have had lots of it. Try not to be too hard on yourself, I think we all have times where we can’t find enjoyment in everything. I hope May is a better month for you.
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Thank you so much for those kind and encouraging words. I agree, there will always be times when I’m feeling less than great.
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Hi, Astrid – I’m sorry to hear that the latter part of April was difficult. WIshing you a very positive May filled with renewed Joy. Thank you for sharing so honestly. Sending warm thoughts for great days ahead!
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Thank you for your kind words. I really do hope my May is better than the latter part of April.
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I hope that you can climb back out Astrid
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Thank you. I hope so too.
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Months with the heavier emotions can be difficult. I’ve been having to sit with some of those emotions about a situation in my life that I have no control over. Hoping you’ll be able to feel more enjoyment this month with your crafts and quiet time, etc. Emotional ruts usually don’t last forever, and often point us to new things. So glad you linked up, Astrid!
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Thanks so much for your supportive words! I’m so sorry you’ve had to sit with difficult emotions too. I agree, emotional ruts don’t last forever. I also fully intend on refocusing my attention on God again. I trust that He will be able to get me out of this dark place.
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Hello Astrid, thanks so much for linking up to WOTY and it appears from reading your post, mine and others that April was a difficult month for many of us. The positive thing is that emotional ruts don’t last forever and sometimes we just have to let those feelings develop, experience them rather than pushing them away. Wishing you a more Joyful month in May xx
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Thank you so much. I agree, it’s tempting to push those feelings away but sometimes it’s the better choice to experience them and then let them pass on their own.
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Astrid, sometimes our emotions can take over a bit and that’s OK. We learn to recognize what they are telling us, which is usually an unmet need.
I also understand the feel of drifting away from God. I find it interesting that you pinpoint this at the end of the month when you also feel distant from JOY.
My go to verse for this is always Psalm 16:11, “In your presence is fullness of JOY”. Seeking to draw nearer to God even in a nature walk or praise music can refresh your JOY!
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Thanks so much for pointing me to that Bible verse! That’s so awesome. Thanks also for your supportive words in general. I am so glad I’m not alone.
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