In my bubble
I sit
Staring out
At the world
Outside
From around me
I hear
People talking
To me
But I can’t respond
Through the invisible wall
I try
To reach out
To someone
But I can’t
A tight grip
Of panic
envelops me
Because I know
I’m locked up inside
I have had the concept of being “locked up inside” in my head for a few days now. I first came across the phrase in an E-mail support group for parents of children with selective mutism, a disorder in which a child is unable to speak in certain situations due to intense social anxiety. I have never had this diagnosis, but as a teen and young adult, did experience periods of mutism due to anxiety and dissociative freeze responses. I use the term “locked up inside” for a feeling of intense anxiety which causes a freeze response that leads to an inability to speak and sometimes move. The feeling of being “locked up inside” is particularly frequent and intense lately.
I am linking this poem to dVerse’s Open Link Night.
very personal and intimate poetry…
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Thank you for commenting. Yes, it’s true, it’s very personal.
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This is a great way to describe that terrifying feeling of anxiety. Thank you for sharing!
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Thank you so much for your kind comment.
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Astrid, I can relate to this in a big way. I rarely if ever spoke in school (outside of recess, with other kids) due to paralyzing fear.
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Oh wow, thank you for sharing such a personal piece of information. I’m so glad my poem spoke to you.
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You’re welcome and thank you for starting the dialogue on it ❤
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I know the feeling. Especially in the last couple years. These days I just want to stay home.
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Oh, I feel for you. Thank you for sharing.
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Always remember, you hold the key.
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Thanks for saying that. That’s a really tough thing to realize though.
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I can identify. When I first started school (and felt terribly lost and out of place), I quit talking. So anxious, I would just freeze up. Scared of being noticed.
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It can be so terrifying.
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Definitely! Thank you for stopping by.
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This made me think of Sylvia Plath’s novel “The bell jar”… take care
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Oh, I’ve never read that one, but thanks for letting me know.
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This is beautifully done, Astrid. I can imagine there are many out there who have felt just like this during the past two years!
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Oh yes, that’s another way of looking at it, I hadn’t thought of it that way. Thanks for providing an original perspective.
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You were really going internally. I was just going in the house! :>) Guess I need to go a little deeper! :>)
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Ha, it’s okay. I love your way of looking at my poem too.
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Thanks! :>)
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This is beautifully done here. That feeling of being locked up inside…..well described.
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Thanks for the compliment, Lillian.
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A wonderful poem astrid! I think you write and express yourself really well! ❤
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Thanks so much for the compliment! 🙂
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I truly hope you will get rid of that feeling very soon. Reading your poem about it actually hurt.
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Yes, I hope so too. It’s a very hard feeling to deal with. Thank you for commenting.
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