Courage

A few weeks ago, I was in the mood for writing but didn’t know what about. I downloaded Google Keep on both my PC and iPhone and just started writing based on a prompt I saw on the See Jane Write website. I had never heard of this site. The prompts for the month of November were all two words long. The prompt I used was “brave choices”.

I doubt I’ve ever made a brave choice. Most of my major life choices were made out of fear or avoidance rather than courage. Either that or they were really other people’s choices I didn’t rebel against, or not well enough.

For example, my choice to live independently, wasn’t really my choice. I was pressured by my parents into saying this was my goal after completing independence training and, once everyone except for my parents agreed it wasn’t a realistic outcome, the pressure had increased to the point of being unavoidable.

Similarly, my choice to live with my wife, wasn’t really my choice either. She wanted it, but hadn’t realized all the complcating factors, like my substantial care needs. She had good intentions, mind you, thinking our love would conquer anything. It didn’t. Thankfully, I was able to make the choice to go into the care facility in Raalte before our relationship suffered irreparable damage.

If there’s one choice I made in my life that could be considered brave, it was this choice. My parents and former professionals would likely say this choice was made out of fear too. They might have been right. Maybe, if I’d been truly brave, I’d have been able to organize my own care whilst living with my wife. Then again, now that we live separately, neither of us wants to live together ever again.

I still wonder whether I could improve my life if I didn’t make decisions out of fear or avoidance anymore. I mean, the reason I rarely try out new skills of independence, is fear, namely the fear that my staff will always expect me to possess an ability I’ve shown once, as well as other related or even unrelated abilities. This fear isn’t unfounded, but it’s holding me back more than it should.

Hi everyone. Sorry for not having touched the blog in a few days. I really mean to blog more this year, but have been struggling a bit lately again so no inspiration. Today it’s time for the Wednesday Hodgepodge though, so this post should come relatively easily. Here goes.

1. What’s a change you’d like or need to make this year?
I’d like to taper at least one of my medications.

2. Break the ice, on thin ice, ice skating, tip of the iceberg, ice cold…which icy idiom applies to your life right now? Explain.
Ice cold. It’s been freezing for a couple of days now. It’s a dry frost though, so no need for people to remove ice from their cars. In the early mornings, the temperature dropped to -7°C with a real feel of -15°C.

3. What’s a project you’ve been putting off? Will you get to it this month? This year?
Decorate my room. I’m not sure I’ll get to it this month, but definitely this year.

4. Of the fruits that grow well in winter which ones have you tried? Which is your favorite?

pomegranates, clementines, persimmons, passion fruit, pears, grapefruit, lemons, pomelos, kumquats
I have tried about half of this list: pomegranates, pears, grapefruits, clementines, lemons and that’s it I think. I don’t really care for any of them, but if I have to choose one, I’ll go for clementines.

5. What do you think it means to be courageous?
I don’t really know. I think it includes standing up for oneself and others in the face of persecution. Then again, it could also include standing up for what’s right, but what’s “right” depends on your viewpoint. Like, I’m pretty sure half the Hodgepodge’ers wouldn’t feel included in my “all-inclusive” society because their values do not align with my purpose of inclusion. In this sense, courage is really not unrelated to one’s political or religious affiliation and whether someone is a hero or an idiot depends on whether you agree with them or not.

6. Insert your own random thought here.
On Saturday, my spouse will be visiting me after picking up the new car we’re getting. I can’t wait to sit in our “freezer Fiat”, as we’ve been jokingly calling it. We call our current car the “heat-up Micra”, as it has no air conditioning and is black and our previous car had broken heating so was ice cold in winter. The “freezer Fiat” will, thankfully, come with air conditioning.

Brave Choices

The Wednesday Hodgepodge (January 10, 2024)