Thankful Thursday (February 19, 2026): I Still Have Hope…

Hi everyone. Today is Thursday, so I thought I’d try to create a post focusing on thankfulness. It’s been a rough week with me having a zillion ideas of things to do but no way to put them into action. I’m still struggling with the lack of structure in my day schedule, which means I have no way of planning any activities.

That being said, I keep having hope. Sometimes I feel that hope is my enemy, in the sense that it’s the only thing keeping me alive and what if it’s idle hope? What if the powers-that-be are unwilling to help me create a more meaningful life and they’re just keeping me in the dark about it because they know things might take a turn for the worse if they tell me?

Let’s focus on gratitude though. Today, I cut up the bell peppers me and my fellow residents had as a side with our lunch. I also went shopping for groceries with a staff. I bought some ingredients for making smoothies and breakfasts, as well as a poke bowl I had for dinner today. That was good.

This staff used to work here until last summer and was one of my favorites. She occasionally still subs here. I feel a little guilty having been so vulnerable with her today as to show her that, in all honesty, I don’t feel my life is meaningful at this point. Thankfully, she did have her regular coworkers write down how much I’m struggling.

I also wrote an E-mail to my assigned staff and support coordinator this evening. My assigned staff is on sick leave again, but she said she’d check her E-mail regularly. I explained the thing I’m struggling with most again, ie. the fact that I experience a lack of meaningful day activities despite sufficient one-on-one hours. The most frustrating part is the fact that it’s not about budget or staffing, so that I honestly don’t see why I wouldn’t have gotten a more structured day schedule months ago.

My support coordinator said a few days ago that she’d get back to me about the issue on Sunday. I doubt anything significant is going to become of it, but the sliver of hope that things might improve, is keeping me going.

For now, what is also keeping me going, is actually thinking up ideas of things to do when the staff are more willing and able to help me create more meaningful activities. Here, I said “when”, not “if”. Does that mean something?