Hi everyone. This week, one of the prompts for Writer’s Workshop is to write an essay titled “How I coped with losing my job”. I don’t do well writing fictional essays and have never had a “real” job, in the sense of a paid position or even volunteer work. I did, however, once “lose my job”, in that I got told the day center I went to couldn’t keep me there anymore.
This happened sometime in January of 2018 at my first day center with my current care agency. They had had me there for eight months, in two different groups, but when I was struggling to cope at the second group, they could no longer serve me or so they said.
I felt really distressed about this. The most frustrating aspect was the fact that they blamed me for no longer being suited to the center, while in reality, three new clients had been accepted into my group and no additional staff had been hired. I remember the reason they said it was me being the problem, not the new clients, was the fact that I’d been having meltdowns shortly before they arrived. Now I know that any anticipated change will cause me distress and that doesn’t mean I’m just a problem client. However, in hindsight, I’m pretty sure they wanted me gone sooner rather than later all along, for the simple reason that I don’t have an intellectual disability.
Thankfully, I wasn’t told to leave on the spot, but got time to find a new place. I initially had no clue how to, but did remember that, in 2010, I had been helped by the Center for Consultation and Expertise (CCE). I told the staff that I wanted to involve them again.
This was a bit of a hassle, as my community psychiatric nurse from the mental health agency said I’m far too high-functioning for the CCE. I applied nonetheless and got an orientation meeting in May of 2018.
In the end, I didn’t need the CCE for finding a new day center, but the consultation was what led me to accept that living independently with my partner wasn’t working and I needed long-term care.
I did feel intensely frustrated, like I said, at being “fired” from this day center. However, in the end, I don’t blame the staff, who were just powerless in the face of my challenging behavior. I think the manager, who didn’t look beyond my psychiatric diagnoses, is partly responsible. So was the psychologist from the psychiatric hospital, who more or less made the manager accept me on partly false premises.
A Multitude of Musings 
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Oh, thanks so much.
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Hello, Astrid 👋 We met some years ago during an April A to Z Challenge, I believe. Nice to ‘see’ you again! 🙂 It must have been a trying time for you, having to make new arrangements, but it sounds like things worked out for the better in the end.
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Thanks so much for your supportive comment. I’m glad to see you pop over again. Yes, things worked out for the better eventually.
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Hi, I read your story and I just wanted to acknowledge your experience and offer empathy. It sounds like you went through a challenging time, and I’m sorry you had to deal with those difficult circumstances. It’s clear that you’ve shown a lot of resilience in finding ways to cope and move forward. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here.
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Thanks so much for your kind comment.
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I think you’re “dangerous” to a care facility because you are able to “think” and “express” yourself. I’m not saying that they have “bad intentions” but they’re used to not being scrutinized by the clients. 😉
You write (and think) beautifully!
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I think you’re partly right, unfortunately. Then again, I also experience the opposite, where the fact that I’m intellectually capable is used against me to tell me I should be able to make decisions completely independently. For example, until recently, the door was unlocked for me at the slightest hint that I wanted to elope because of the “right to self-determination”. Well, guess what? People with an intellectual disability have a right to self-determination too and the fact that they have a legal guardian doesn’t mean they’re not allowed to make any decisions for themselves. For instance, if a client points to a second cookie, the decision that they cannot have it is in some ways an infringement upon their right to self-determination and should only be made if that second cookie leads to significant problems for the client (eg. if they want it everyday and this leads to problematic weight gain).
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It almost sounds like they got rid of you because you would have presented them with a challenge, since you probably are a little more aware than the other patients there. To which I say “good for you.”
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I definitely presented them with a challenge, because even though I’m emotionally very much impaired (and can slide even further down under stress), cognitively, I function at an at least average level. It’s a challenge for me too though, which often care staff do not seem to realize. I mean, there are still staff at my current care home who believe I purposefully act out to manipulate. No, I don’t. If I could always function like a non-disabled, neurotypical adult, I would.
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sorry this happened to you Astrid, it is just so bad, that they did it in this way to you!
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Thanks for sympathizing. I unfortunately have had my fair share of experiences like this.
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