She had always felt that November was the hardest month. Filled with enough darkness to completely cloud her mind, but not enough cold to freeze her thoughts. It didn’t help that the month was filled with just a little too many memories of her totally losing the grip on life. She realized maybe the crises were more a result of her depression than her depression being the result of her memories, but either way she seemed stuck. No therapy or medication had been able to alleviate the gloom that was November yet.
It wasn’t like she exactly wanted to die. Not during these crises and not now. Sometimes though, she looked for an exit, an escape from the deep pit that is this month. Maybe, she mused, snow would be the easy way out.
This post was written for this week’s Prosery. It’s more than a little autobiographical, but since our pieces have to be flash fiction, I decided to write it in third person perspective.
A Multitude of Musings 
I enjoy autobiographical poems and prose, Astrid, and if you hadn’t mentioned it, I wouldn’t have known. I love the idea of November being ‘filled with enough darkness to completely cloud her mind, but not enough cold to freeze her thoughts’.
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Thanks so much for your kind comment. I personally liked that line too.
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You’re very welcome.
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Very powerful. This bleak piece captures how certain months and the memories associated with them can trigger a sadness that feels indomitable. Being a sufferer of depression myself, I get this. I’m so sorry that the month of November is such a difficult time for you.
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Thanks for your kind, sympathetic words. I’m sorry you suffer from depression too.
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“The gloom that was November” — a tough month when you’ve already endured one experience of giving into that internal and external gloom. Well-told, Astrid.
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Thank you. Yes, indeed, November 2 marks the anniversary of my mental breakdown.
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Glad you are weathering through now. 🙏 😘
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The grim grey of November does get the mind to wandering sometimes.
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So true. Thanks for stopping by.
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You’re welcome.
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A poignant look inside a mind.
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Ah, thanks so much.
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Season’s can certainly impact on our psychological health. Well written.
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I know. Thank you.
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Seasonal sadness and these musings are so well articulated.
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Ah, thank you.
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November is a period of gloom… and snow can be an exit in the sense that at least it bring light to th gloom
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I agree, that’s a possible interpretation. Thanks for stopping by.
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Nice one
Much🖤love
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Thank you.
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A very poignant reflection. I’m sorry you experience this. I agree November can be very gloomy. I hope you’re able to find some light.
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Thank you so much for your kind words! Those mean so much to me.
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You’re very welcome!
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Wonderful and thought filled story. Very real life. Well done.
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Thanks so much.
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This touched a part of me I’m still wrestling with. Evocative and honest
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Thank you so much. I’m sorry you relate though.
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Yes, my breakdown came as a shock to me in 2021 and your poem touches me in the feelings I had/have, which I hasten to add is not a negative thing in its self.
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Oh I’m so sorry to hear about your breakdown. I had one in November of 2007. Now I must say the month of November was always hard, as like in 2001 I had somewhat of a breakdown too (on the same day as in 2007). I’m glad reading my poem didn’t in itself cause you significant distress.
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“not enough cold to freeze her thoughts.”
This resonates with me.🙏🏻
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Thanks for stopping by. I hope those words don’t resonate with you in too negative of a way.
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You’re welcome! I relate to it in that I often have so many thoughts swirling around in my head. Sometimes it feels like too many. We learn to live with it.❤️
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Oh wow, that makes so much sense to me. Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I’m sorry you deal with this too but thank you for giving me some insight.
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Really good piece!
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