Memories of My Paternal Grandfather

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. Today is National Grandparents’ Day in the United States. I heard of this a few days ago when looking for inspiration for my blog, but didn’t feel like writing about the topic at the time. Now, the subject returns in Marsha’s 10 on the 10th post. This is a meme in which Marsha asks ten questions related to a particular topic of the month. Rather than answer all ten, I’m going with one of them, which is to share a favorite memory involving your grandparent(s).

I have shared about my paternal grandmother a lot of times already. She was certainly my favorite grandparent. Today though, I’m going to share about my paternal grandfather.

My paternal grandparents divorced in 1973, years before I was born. They didn’t have much contact since, as all of their children were adults by that time. In fact, I can’t remember a birthday or holiday when they visited my family on the same day.

My paternal grandfather was a radio technician during his working life. He knew a lot about all sorts of science and tech things. Indeed, my parents tell me I acquired my first spoken word from him. As the story goes, my father and grandfather were discussing aviation and, at one point, either of them mentioned the word “aircraft industry”. I, then ten-months-old (seven months corrected for prematurity), parroted: “Aircraft industry.” This, my parents see as a sign of my being a genius. Most of my psychologists in my adult life have seen it as one of the early signs of autism.

My paternal grandfather was probably on the spectrum himself too (as is my father, though he doesn’t care about diagnoses). We had these traditions built into his visits with us. One of them was him always giving my sister and me ƒ5 each. At one point, when my father had probably decided we were too old for this, our grandfather put the coins in a very hard to open money-box with transparant sides, so that we could see our money but not reach it. I am pretty sure I had a tantrum over it.

My grandpa had a small motorized boat. Well, large enough to sleep in. My sister once went on a week-long sleepover on the boat with him. Mid-way through it, my parents and I visited them and we sailed IJsselmeer a bit. I was both scared and excited, as we could leave the boat when it was anchored and have a swim around.

I went to grammar school, the type of high-level high school I attended, in 1999. My grandfather had attended grammar school back in the 1930s, so he gave me some kind of a button with “grammar school 1” written on it.

By that time, age 75, my grandfather started thinking he was suffering from dementia. My father brushed it off, saying he probably thinks he has dementia when he doesn’t remember the most difficult of the Latin words he learned in grammar school. As it turned out, my grandpa was right after all, as he was diagnosed with pretty advanced dementia in late 2001, age 77. At this point, he needed to be placed in a nursing home. He died not even eighteen months later. Now that I know more about dementia, I know that the stage of not recognizing people and having no short-term memory whatsoever, is by far not the first stage of dementia. I realize now too that my paternal grandmother probably suffered from mid-stage dementia too, but died of another cause before entering the phase at which point my grandfather was diagnosed. It is truly tragic that my grandfather wasn’t taken seriously.

13 thoughts on “Memories of My Paternal Grandfather”

  2. It’s really interesting reading about your grandfather. My paternal grandfather died before I was born and my Mum and Dad lived with my Grandma but she also died before I was born. My Dad died when I was young so none of my children met him. My younger Children’s paternal Grandfather was alive until 2016.

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    1. I’m so sorry you didn’t have a chance to know your paternal grandparents. I knew all of my grandparents, though my maternal grandfather died when I was only eight.

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  4. I really enjoyed reading these memories about your paternal grandfather. It is interesting to reflect upon their lives after we become adults. We see them much differently with adult eyes, don’t we? Although your grandparents were divorced, it sounds like you had strong meaningful relationships with both of them. I only knew my maternal grandparents but we were very close with them. And now my children only have their paternal grandparents and they are also very close with them. Grandparents are truly a blessing! Beautiful post.

    Shelbee

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    1. Thank you so much. Yes, I had a good relationship with both my paternal grandparents despite them not having a relationship with each other. I was closer to my grandmother, but that’s precisely why I wanted to reflect on memories of my grandfather this time. Besides, truthfully, despite what my parents say, I’m more like him than I’m like her.

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  5. Thank you for sharing your lovely memories of your grandfather. Dementia is very cruel. I cared for quite a few people living with dementia when I worked in the care sector. It’s just awful.
    My Grandad also went to grammar school. I was really close to my grandad and it broke my heart when he passed.

    Hope all is well at your new home and that you are settling well.
    Take care! 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, dementia is really cruel indeed. I am happy to learn though that you provided care for people suffering with it when you worked in that sector. I mean, often loving and dignified care is the most important thing they need.

      I am also glad you were close to your grandfather, but sad to hear he passed and you were grief-stricken. It’s understandable.

      I am settling into my new home okay. It has its ups and downs, but is mostly still better than my old home.

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