Hi everyone. Today I’m struggling quite badly yet again. I’m feeling quite depressed and like life is slipping me by. That’s not good, but sometimes it’s the best that can be.
When I set my hopes for this year, I fully intended to experience more, yet here I am, six days into the year and I’ve abandoned Morning Pages, am in bed a lot again or just blabbering on to my staff about whatever.
However, feeling guilty about not having made the most out of the day, means even more of my time and energy is wasted. Rather than beating myself up over a day gone to waste, I’d much rather make the most out of each moment. And sometimes “the most” is pretty little.
About half an hour ago, I was talking on the phone with my wife again and responded to the question of what I’d done today by saying that I’d gone on a walk and played dice, so not much. Then I realized that I’d also made a necklace. Remembering that made me smile to myself.
Of course, my day schedule is still not working as it should and that might never change, but it’s up to me to make my life meaningful. And sometimes, that means hyperfixating on some random thing, like the fact that I almost certainly finally found the perfect recipe manager. It’s my fifth or so, so this did mean having to transfer my recipes from my previous one into this one. However, this did give me another opportunity to look up interesting recipes.
Now it does often frustrate me that, even though I make plans to cook or bake, they rarely come to fruition. However, like I said above, fretting over this means even more time and energy has been wasted.
This post was partly inspired by today’s #JusJoJan prompt, which is “intentional”. One thing I beat myself up over, is the fact that I didn’t blog yesterday and hardly wrote anything else, so in that sense who am I participating in #JusJoJan? There’s however no jotting police other than my own inner critic.
A Multitude of Musings 
I know somebody who continually beats herself up. You can see a cycle of promising to do something, not getting it done for whatever reason, then beating herself up over it. It pains me to see it, but I haven’t really found anything constructive to say yet.
I could easily say “you have to learn to shrug your shoulders”, but I don’t think that would help at all. I mean, she has to, but saying so would be useless.
For example, this morning, she did not tidy her flat because the workmen outside made her feel uncomfortable. So what? She has a cleaner coming Thursday and unless the place has a certain level of tidiness, they won’t clean. So the money is wasted.
It’s difficult to know what to say.
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It’s definitely hard to support someone who is like this all the time, but it’s harder on them. Re shrugging your shoulders, that’s exactly what my parents told me I had to do and it didn’t help. Thank you for sharing your experience.
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Yes it is easier said than done. I had to train myself. And saying it to someone, as though it is something we turn on or off, is definitely unhelpful.
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Agree completely. I mean, it’s one thing to try to help someone let go of their frustrations and quite another to say they *just* need to shrug their shoulders.
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Sorry you had a rough start to the new year, but you have a really good attitude about it all. That is something to be very proud of!
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Thanks so much! ☺️ I do try to have a positive attitude indeed.
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Beating ones self up is something so many of us do, I have had years of doing it and try to tell myself to stop doing it
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Yeah that makes sense. I hope you’re beating yourself up less now.
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