Surviving

Hi everyone. I just stumbled across Today’s #3TC prompt. In response, carol anne shares about her premature birth. She was born three months prematurely in 1980 and considers herself to be a medical miracle.

I, often, believe the same. I mean, I was born just over three months prematurely, albeit six years later than carol anne. I weighed 850 grams or 1lb 14oz at birth. I spent three months in neonatal care.

When I was younger, I’d occasionally half-jokingly say that I’m a calculation mistake. The reason is the fact that I was born at sometime between 25 and 27 weeks gestation. The official paperwork says I was born at 26 weeks 4 days gestation, but this wasn’t always easy to determine back then. My mother claimed that, back in 1986, the line between actively keeping preemies alive and only treating them when they showed genuine strength, was at 26 weeks. I never cared to look up whether that’s true, but I do know that my doctor was adamant he was keeping me alive. In this sense, not a miracle.

In another respect though, I’m definitely a medical miracle, in that obviously I wouldn’t have survived without medical technology.

Yesterday, I read about the Dionne quintuplets, who were born in 1934 and the last one of whom had just passed away. Compared to them, I’m not a miracle at all. I’m glad about that, as they were on public display throughout their childhoods.

Like carol anne, I realize I didn’t just survive thanks to medical technology, despite the fact that’s what my doctor more or less said when my father questioned him whether I should be continuing to receive treatment after my brain bleed. I wouldn’t have survived had I not had the will in me to survive.

This is somewhat of an interesting realization in light of my suicide attempts over the years. In 2017, I survived two medication overdoses and, this past summer, I cut my wrist. Thankfully, I survived and, in the case of the incident this summer, without medical intervention. I realize this means I still somehow have a desire to stay alive.