Secrets

It’s the first Wednesday of the month and that means the Insecure Writer’s Support Group (#IWSG) meets again.

I’m not sure what to write about today. In May, I wrote only one less post than in April. It still feels as though I’m a lot less inspired and motivated to write. The writing prompts that helped me write posts, including fiction and poetry, didn’t really speak to me at all in May. Even if they did speak to me in a way, I couldn’t find the words to actually write.

I did resolve a few weeks ago to write everyday. I wasn’t requiring myself to write a blog post everyday, though subconsciously that’s what it felt like. As such, I felt weird when I had no idea what to write about at 9PM and was going to go to bed in half an hour. I skipped blogging only two days in May though. That’s something to be proud of!

Now on to the optional prompt for this month. This month, we’re encouraged to share some secrets people don’t know through our writing. I am going with one that is in a way pretty contradictory: people may not know from my blog that I can be really private.

I mean, I share so much on my blog that it’s almost too much information. I of course intended my blog for this very purpose, but still. I guess most people who read my blog, assume from it that I share a lot about my life in real life too. I don’t. My husband has gotten upset at times at my having posted something on my blog that I didn’t tell him.

Another, related, secret is that my self-esteem is pretty low. My husband at least used to think I had a lot of self-confidence, being that I think others find my life interesting enough that I want to blog about it. It’s not true though. I’m pretty shy and self-conscious in real life. And even where it comes to my writing, I often feel held back by my inner critic.