#WeekendCoffeeShare (August 2, 2025)

Posted on by Astrid

Hi everyone. I’m once again joining #WeekendCoffeeShare. It’s almost 10:30PM, so no more drinks other than water for me. That green tea I got a month ago has gotten a meaning of its own lately, symbolizing my lack of independence and self-determination. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Grab yourself a favorite drink and let’s catch up.

If we were having coffee, first I’d talk about the weather. It’s been rainy most of the week and honestly less warm than I’d like it to be. I refuse to wear long-sleeved shirts in the middle of summer, but today, I almost regretted going out in just a T-shirt.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that in part due to the weather, I haven’t been as physically active as I’d have liked lately. Today, my spouse and I wanted to go for a walk but it was raining pretty hard so we turned around within five minutes. That was when I was out in just a shirt. I’m hoping I can still meet my movement goal on my Apple Watch today.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share that I was at our house today. My spouse got a new cat about six weeks ago and I hadn’t met him yet. His name is Caleb. Unfortunately, he hid under our bed as soon as I walked in the door and had to be dragged down by my spouse for me to be able to pet him.

We originally intended to cook dinner together or get pizza delivered, but since the weather didn’t permit us taking a walk and my spouse didn’t want to stay inside the house all day, we decided to drive to Apeldoorn. I needed a new jacket, after all. My old one, I’d bought seven years ago and it’d finally gotten damaged beyond repair in addition to being quite dirty. When my spouse asked me my size, I made a guess. It turned out the old jacket was several sizes bigger. Then again, back in 2018 I was at least 10kg heavier than I am now. I finally got a jacket with a size inbetween my original guess and the old one’s and it fits perfectly.

If we were having coffee, then I’d tell you that, as of yesterday, I’m once again a tiny step down with my medication. Specifically, I’m now on the absolute lowest dose of pregabalin. I was never on a high dose anyway, in fact having been on my start dose for years, but as it is in medicine, apparently going up is easier than going down. Six weeks from now, I’ll most likely be completely off of pregabalin.

If we were having coffee, then I’d share I’m still struggling. Part of it is the realization that my life is far from “normal” and the fact that I feel guilty about not accepting this reality. I constantly have my last home’s staff’s words in my head about never having a perfect day. I am also constantly thinking of ways in which my life could be even a tiny bit more meaningful.

If we were having coffee, finally I’d share that I did have some good moments over the past week. Like I said on Thursday, I have been quite active in the kitchen. I also on Thursday crafted another clay parrot.

The staff who’s leaving, took this one and the one we made last week home with her yesterday.

Tomorrow, one of my assigned staff is going to do my morning activity with me and we agreed to work with clay again. I have yet to think of some ideas for what to make. She wanted an elephant, but I’m not yet sure how to go about doing that.

19 thoughts on “#WeekendCoffeeShare (August 2, 2025)”

  4. It has been a lot cooler here too but still mostly OK to go out in a t-shirt.
    It sounds like you had a nice time with your husband. How great to get a new jacket.
    I love that parrot, what a great gift for the staff member who was leaving.

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  7. I wear a jacket way too long before replacing it. The last one had holes in both pockets and a rip on the back before I remembered to look at the start of the season when there was a good selection. Another cute birdy, glad you are getting your creativity in with both clay and cooking. A new kitty, how sweet! I have three cats and would be lost without them – they are so fun to watch, pet and cuddle with. Your meds are going down – that is a good thing! It is always a good sign when you can decrease your dosage! Hope this week is a little cooler for you and you have lots of good days!

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    1. Thanks for your extensive comment! I am glad I was able to be creative indeed. My med taper unfortunately isn’t because I’m feeling better but because to be honest the meds never made me feel better even at a high dosage and they were more used to make me “manageable”. Like, with each increase my emotional dysregulation got a little less then I was given less or less suitable support then my emotion dysregulation got worse again and I was medicated more.

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      1. That is a shame that they gave you medicine you really didn’t need then … isn’t it their job to treat the patients and residents like human beings rather that experiments. You would find people outraged if a day care for kids just gave all of them cold medicine the second they got there so they could sleep and be more “manageable.” So wrong! I hope the rest of your medication is truly needed!

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        1. LOL, I love your daycare analogy. Unfortunately my meds are much stronger than cold medicine. I honestly do think I could benefit from medication, but I highly doubt any of my current psych meds are truly effective, most because they were initially prescribed for behavioral reasons and my antidepressant most likely pooped out.

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